Luke and Lorelai: A Playlist
by JoyfulHeartEO
Summary: #32 is up. Based on "Dress?" by Taylor Swift. Set during/after "Pulp Friction" in season 5 when they get back together. Lorelai's pretty pink sparkly dress does make Luke come and get it. This is a rated M one so look for it in the M counterpart of this story.
1. Welcome Home

**Chapter 1 - "Welcome Home"**

 **So this is the first of many one-shots I have been working on and will be working on centered around Luke and Lorelai. This one is based around the time that Christopher and Lorelai broke up in season 7 and after Liz and TJ stayed at Luke's apartment.**

 **In this story, Lorelai is in New York City on business and runs into an unlikely person who may finally push her back in the right direction. Will this blast from her past be able to help her find her way back to Luke?**

 **Each one-shot will be named after a song title. This one is "Welcome Home" by Radical Face. I will post the lyrics of the songs too. They are some of my favorite songs that often remind me of Luke and Lorelai!**

"Welcome Home" By Radical Face

 _Sleep don't visit, so I choke on sun_  
 _And the days blur into one_  
 _And the backs of my eyes hum with things I've never done_  
 _Sheets are swaying from an old clothesline_  
 _Like a row of captured ghosts over old dead grass_  
 _Was never much but we made the most_  
 _Welcome home_  
 _Ships are launching from my chest_  
 _Some have names but most do not_  
 _If you find one, please let me know what piece I've lost_  
 _Heal the scars from off my back_  
 _I don't need them anymore_  
 _You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars_  
 _I've come home_  
 _All my nightmares escaped my head_  
 _Bar the door, please don't let them in_  
 _You were never supposed to leave_  
 _Now my head's splitting at the seams_  
 _And I don't know if I can_  
 _Here, beneath my lungs, I feel your thumbs press into my skin again_  
 **  
**

* * *

Lorelai walked out of her hotel room and out into the hallway. It had been a very long day meeting with investors and partners for the Inn. The whole day she tried to ignore the fact that the last time she was in New York City was with Luke and it had been such a happy time. Now he hated her, and she and Chris had broken up. And nothing in life made much sense.

But it didn't matter...she was Lorelai Gilmore which meant she had to keep pushing forward no matter how much it hurt. She moved on and plastered a smile on her face no matter what life threw at her. It's just what she did.

With a sigh, she walked onto the busy sidewalk of the city and tried to figure out what to do for dinner. Her stomach was growling, but she didn't know much about the area she was in. Her mind was reeling with a thousand thoughts as it so often did, especially these days. She tried to stay focussed on the task at hand but found it difficult to do until she heard someone call her name.

"Lorelai?" They called again, her name wasn't one you heard often so she snapped out of her daze to see that the person standing beside her was none other than Jess Mariano.

Her mouth hung open for a moment before she answered, "Jess?"

He tried to smile, "Fancy meeting you here…"

She glanced around, suddenly remembering where she was. "Oh. Wow. Hi. Um...yeah I'm here on business…"

Jess nodded, "Rory said the Inn was doing well in her last letter."

Her face softened, "You write to each other?"

Jess shrugged, "From time to time...just to keep in touch. Nothing big...she sends me articles from Yale. I send her some of my work."

Lorelai nodded, "She let me read some of your stuff. Very impressive."

Jess blushed, "Yeah well…" He cleared his throat, "So um...you look a little lost."

Lorelai laughed nervously, "Like a fish out of water, huh?" She took a deep breath, "I just finished up a bunch of meetings. I'm starving...but don't know where to go."

Jess stared at her for a moment, they had always had a complicated relationship. And the fact that she was now the ex-fiance of his Uncle only made things more complicated. But something about their chance encounter made him think this was supposed to happen.

"Well...I was just headed out for a bite to eat too. You uh...wanna join me? I know some good spots that I am sure would be Gilmore approved." He said with a smirk, "I assume you still have an iron stomach?"

Lorelai laughed, "I do…"

He shrugged and started to walk down the sidewalk, "Well come on then...the city awaits us."

Lorelai felt a nervous sensation in the pit of her stomach. She had never gotten along well with Jess...they had always butted heads. And these days, anyone and anything that reminded her of Luke was completely off limits. But the idea of being alone in this big city felt terrifying and depressing so her feet began to move to follow him.

Once they reached their destination, Jess waved at the man behind the bar. The place was packed, but somehow they managed to get a table in the corner and drinks were brought over soon after.

Lorelai raised an eyebrow, impressed by the quick service. "Well...you must know someone."

Jess shrugged, "The owner is a buddy of mine. I come in a lot. Burgers are great...pizza is good too. Order whatever you want. It's on me."

Lorelai shook her head, "No way Jess. I can't-"

"I have probably done about 1,000 things to make you hate me...let me do something nice." Jess said with a smirk.

Lorelai laughed, "Uh...okay?"

They glanced at their menus quietly for a few moments before the waiter came to take their orders. They exchanged nervous looks and Lorelai finally found the courage to speak again.

"You know...just for the record I never really hated you." She said honestly.

Jess took a sip of his beer and smirked again, "You sure about that?"

Lorelai sighed and put the menu down, "I uh...I admit that I wasn't always the nicest to you."

"You were fine...just protecting Rory. I get it." He said, "And in the end you were right...I hurt her. One of my biggest regrets…"

Lorelai swallowed hard, "The thing is...you reminded me a lot of myself. That's why I didn't like you…"

Jess narrowed his eyes at her, "What do you mean?"

She shrugged sadly, "Rebellious teen searching for some meaning in life? Dude...I practically wrote the book on that subject."

Jess laughed, "Huh…never looked at it that way."

"I just...I knew myself at that age...I knew that it didn't matter who was in my path. I was angry all the time and sad...and confused...and I did a lot of stupid things that hurt people. And I didn't want Rory to be in that path…" Lorelai said sadly.

Jess nodded slowly, "But she was…"

"My story ended in teen pregnancy and running away from home. As much as I love Rory...I didn't want that for her." Lorelai said sadly.

Jess nodded, "You wanted her to have more."

They sat quietly for a moment, before Lorelai spoke again. "I don't think you are a bad person. I think you were dealt a bad hand at an early age...and you were just searching for something…"

Jess smirked, "You're right...I was searching for something."

"Thought you found it in Rory…" Lorelai said with a smile, "I know you loved her."

Jess looked down at his hands, "I did…"

"You were young. You both were." Lorelai said with a shrug, "Things happen…" The heat rose in her cheeks and she wondered when or if he would bring up his Uncle.

Jess seemed to sense her nervousness and held off pursuing that, for the first time ever they were being civil to one another. "Yeah. I guess. I still regret the way I handled things. She deserved better…"

Lorelai licked her lips, "Well it's nice that you still talk sometimes...it shows that what you had was real."

Jess nodded slowly, "Yeah...I guess it does."

"I know that she is really proud of you. Your Mom is too…" Her face flushed as she glanced down unable to look at him as she spoke, "And Luke…"

Jess stared at her, trying to read her expression, "He calls from time to time. Sends back every check I try and send to him as a thank you."

Lorelai felt the tears burning in her eyes, as she continued to avoid his gaze "Sounds about right…"

"Lorelai…" Jess started to speak but she shook her head in response.

"I am sure you know everything that happened. And if you don't...you probably still hate me." She said with a laugh, "And I don't blame you because I hate myself."

Jess was quiet, trying to think of what to say to her. "I heard you and Rory's Dad didn't work out…"

Lorelai licked her lips, surprised by his statement she shook her head. "No. We didn't."

"There has to be a reason for that…" Jess said as he rubbed his beer bottle between his palms studying her carefully.

Lorelai smiled sadly, "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

Jess raised his beer and shrugged before challenging her, "Doesn't it?"

Lorelai opened her mouth to speak but their food came, she glance down at the large burger in front of her and suddenly didn't feel so hungry anymore. "Even if it did…" She started to whisper but quickly lost her voice.

Jess chewed on a fry for a moment, "So since we are being so honest...you want to know what I think?"

Lorelai grimaced, "I don't really have a choice, do I?"

Jess laughed, "Guess not. I am paying…" She nodded slowly and he shifted in his seat. "I think you and my Uncle are idiots."

Lorelai's eyes widened, "Excuse me?"

He smirked, "I'm serious. From the minute I got sent to Stars Hollow I knew there was something there between you two but you both pretended there wasn't. It was like watching a damn soap opera. And then...I come back for my Mom's wedding and he was a nervous wreck. Trying to figure out what tie to wear and actually caring about his clothes…" He laughed, "I knew he finally found the courage to ask you out…"

Lorelai's face flushed and her heart was pounding in her chest. "Jess…"

"And I saw you guys dancing at the wedding. First time I saw Uncle Luke smile in a long time...hadn't seen that since I was a kid." He reached for his beer again, "And then I heard you were together and I thought...it's about damn time."

She swallowed hard, "I don't know how it all got so screwed up."

Jess smiled, "Well my family has never been great at talking...we can yell at each other about anything...but talking about real issues...not our forte."

Lorelai laughed, "Not the Gilmore way either…"

Jess nodded, "You still love him?" He asked as hit casually bit into another fry.

Her face flushed again, "Jess...I don't know if we should be talking about this."

Jess smiled, "Just humor me. You were always pushing me when it came to Rory…" He shrugged, "Luke is my Uncle so I want to know...do you still love him?"

She let out a ragged breath, "Very much so. But he hates me...and he should. I made sure he would so that it would be over."

"Total destruction of the self…" He smirked, "You and I have that down...guess we are more alike than I realized."

Lorelai snorted and rolled her eyes, "Sadly we are."

Jess was quiet as he bit into his burger, "You gonna eat?"

Lorelai glanced down at the plate in front of her, "I…"

"I know you. You love food. Eat." Jess said with a laugh, "But doesn't mean I'm gonna stop asking questions."

Lorelai laughed and picked up her burger, she took a bite, "Hm...even New York City can't beat a Luke's Burger."

"But only if Luke cooks them. Cesar always overcooked them...too dry." Jess said through a mouthful of food.

Lorelai nodded, "I totally agree. And his pancakes weren't as fluffy."

Jess smiled and decided to push her again, "I bet the quality of the food has gone down in the last few months…"

Lorelai sighed and put her burger down again, "Jess...I just...what difference does it make if we talk about this? It's not going to change anything…"

Jess was quiet, "My Mom sent me a picture of Luke and Doula...he looked good holding a baby. I haven't gotten over the fact that my Mom gave my only sibling such a terrible name...but I'm hoping Luke's influence can help her out."

Lorelai's eyes burned with tears, "I'm sure he's great with her. He's great with April and he was always amazing with Rory."

"April…" Jess nodded slowly and reached for his beer, "Interesting kid. Hard to believe she's Luke's sometimes. But the few times I have seen them together...they seem comfortable."

Lorelai raised an eyebrow as she picked at a french fry, "I wouldn't really know. I never saw them together much…"

Jess put a hand up and the waiter came over, "Can we have another round of drinks? I think we're gonna need them…"

Lorelai grimaced, "I think maybe I should go…"

Jess put his hand up, "You need to eat."

Lorelai sighed and looked down at her hands in her lap, "Jess...I appreciate what you are trying to do but…" She swallowed hard and looked up, "What is it that you want me to say? I told you that I loved Luke. I will always love him. But...I don't think we can ever get past everything. We both made stupid mistakes and it's too much…"

The silence between them lasted a few moments until a new round of beers was placed in front of them. Jess watched her take a long, regretful gulp of her beer and he saw the tears brimming in her eyes.

"You said we were alike...rebellious teens who were looking for something." He lifted his own beer in his hands, "Did you ever find it?"

Lorelai smiled sadly, "I thought I did…" She took a deep breath, "With Luke…"

Jess nodded, "Well let me give you a bit of advice." He leaned his elbows against the table, "Don't do what I did...don't walk away from the thing that you were searching for...fight for it. You might be surprised to learn that he may actually let you in this time…"

"Jess…" Lorelai whispered in an emotional voice, "How could he forgive me?"

"Because I'm pretty damn sure he still loves you too." Jess said leaning back in his seat again he said in a clear voice.

Lorelai shook her head, "I don't think he does...how could he?"

Jess smiled and reached into his jacket pocket, "Got a letter this week...Rory isn't the only one I write too." He took out a piece of paper and handed it to her, "I think you'll find it to be pretty interesting."

Lorelai's hands shook as she reached up to take the paper, "I don't know…"

Jess shook his head, "Finish your dinner. You can read it later."

Lorelai's hands continued to shake as she placed the letter in her bag. She looked over at Jess who was digging into his dinner once again. Her heart was doing flip flops in her chest but she tried to remain calm. If anyone would have told her that she would be sitting here with Jess Mariano talking about Luke Danes...she would have thought they were crazy. And yet in the continuing roller coaster that was her life...here she was.

"So...maybe you can help me come up with a nickname for Doula. It's gotta be something cool. Cuz I refuse to call her that…" Jess said with a smile hoping to pull her out of her daze.

Lorelai cleared her throat and nodded, "Oh I agree. She has to keep up with her brother's reputation."

Jess smirked, "I fully plan on buying her a leather jacket for her first birthday."

Lorelai laughed, "I bet she'll look adorable."

Jess lifted his beer, "And baddass."

Lorelai laughed again and shook her head as they fell into a comfortable conversation. They talked about Stars Hollow and all it's memorable residents. They talked about the Inn, Rory graduating from Yale and even Jess's recent accomplishments. They slowly realized they were a lot more alike than they had ever realized before.

Later that night, the tab was paid by Jess much to Lorelai's displeasure. And then he walked her back to her hotel. They stood awkwardly for a few moments unsure of what to say next.

Jess smiled, "So...do me a favor and make sure that Andrew has my novel stocked, would ya?" He teased.

Lorelai laughed, "I'm pretty sure Rory bought every copy he did have. You might need to send him some more."

He smirked, "I'll try and remember that."

Lorelai stared at him for a moment, "So...why did you do this? Take me out to dinner...make me talk about Luke? I thought you didn't like me either…"

Jess laughed and looked around, "It wasn't that I didn't like you. I was afraid of you. You saw through me...and I didn't like that."

Lorelai nodded, "I can understand that…"

He shrugged, "And...Luke has done a hell of a lot for me. And I worry about him...I want him to be happy. And you seem to make him happy."

She sighed sadly, "Not anymore…"

"Maybe not now. But I think you could...if you both just got your heads out of your asses." Jess said with a smart smile.

Lorelai's eyes widened, "I forgot how bold you can be."

"But you can take it." Jess said with a laugh, "You were never one to back down to me."

"And I never will be." She said with a slow nod before looking out at the busy city, "So...you really think that we could...that he would-"

Jess nodded towards her bag, "Read the letter...and decide for yourself." He shrugged and reached into his pocket again, "But do me one favor?"

She nodded, "Sure. What is it?"

He handed her a check, "When you get back to Stars Hollow...go into the Diner." She opened her mouth to protest but he pushed on, "And give Luke this check. Tell him if he doesn't deposit it this time I will pay him in cash at some point."

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Jess…"

He smiled, "Remember what I said...don't walk away from the thing you were searching for. Fight for it."

She watched him start to walk away, "Jess…"

"Goodnight Miss Gilmore…" He said turning to give her a slight wave as he walked down the sidewalk.

Lorelai sighed and glanced down at the check in her hands. She looked up again but by that time Jess was nowhere in sight. She turned, walked back into the hotel and made her way to the 10th floor to her room. She threw her bag on the bed and pretended that her head wasn't swimming with the thought of the letter there or that her heart wasn't doing flip flops.

She distracted herself by taking a quick shower, brushing her teeth and dressing for bed. She crawled into bed, flipped on the TV and tried to pretend she was interested in whatever reality TV show was playing on the screen. But finally she couldn't take it anymore and she flipped off the TV, grabbed her bag and quickly extracted the letter.

She stared at the folded piece of paper for a few moments trying to will herself to breath. With a sigh, she unfolded it and felt her heart jump when she saw his familiar writing. It made her think of quick notes on order pads that he would often slide to her during the lunch and breakfast rush. Sometimes silly, sometimes making plans for their date that night. She had kept some of those notes, at least until they broke up. Then they were packed away with everything else and given to Rory to throw away. Now she was regretting that…

Finally she calmed herself enough to begin to read his familiar writing.

 _Jess  
You have to stop sending me that damn check. I won't deposit it. Use it on something useful. I don't need it. If you send it back...I'll just rip it up this time._

 _Your Mom said you sent a big box of toys for Doula. She was pretty excited about that, couldn't stop smiling. She hopes you will visit soon...and so do I. They had to stay at the apartment for a few nights...something about moths in their house. It was interesting...Doula and your Mom were fine. TJ was...well he was TJ._

 _And it seems like you and your Mom have more in common than you think. How many times did you bring up Lorelai in your last letter? You should just like Liz. She brings her up at every chance she can get. The other night I heard her and TJ talking about how they thought we could make it work if we found the right wormhole...whatever that means._

 _I'm sure you have heard, either through Rory or your Mom that Lorelai isn't with him anymore. I don't know any of the details and quite frankly...I'm not sure I want to know. I won't pretend I wasn't happy when I heard the news. Selfishly I wanted to go punch him again but I won't. I don't know what it means, but lately we have been friendlier. It's still awkward and uncomfortable but not as bad as it was._

 _Who knows...maybe your Mom is right. Maybe we need to find the right wormhole to make it work. I don't know how that works...or if she even wants that. But I guess I can't pretend I haven't hoped that there was a chance for us again. Maybe someday...but for now I just want her to be happy. Whatever it means for her to be happy is what she deserves and I hope that she finds it._

 _Anyway...next time April is in town maybe we will head up to New York to visit if you are up for it. I'll give you a call sometime next week. Remember what I said...don't send the check back. And take care of yourself._

 _Luke_

Lorelai didn't try to fight the tears that burned in her eyes. They fell freely and she let herself fully feel the pain she had been trying to suppress for almost a year. He wanted her to be happy. Once upon a time he had been the one to make her happy...and she wanted to believe that he could make her happy again. She curled into a ball, slid under the covers and let herself cry all the tears she had been holding in for far too long.

She just wondered if that wormhole Luke mentioned was getting any closer to them. She really hoped it was.

The following day, Lorelai began her journey back to Connecticut. She took the train back to New Haven going over and over in her mind everything that had gone wrong in her relationship with Luke. Every single detail made her head spin, but she had to face it if she was ever going to find that happiness again. When she got in her Jeep and started the journey back to Stars Hollow the day was coming to a close and her nervous energy was taking over her body.

It was a Wednesday night which meant the town was pretty quiet. She was thankful for that as she pulled her car into the Alley behind the Diner. She let herself glance in the window and noticed that currently the only customer was Kirk. She smiled to herself thinking it was only natural that he would be there to witness this. Whether Luke told her to leave or maybe showed some sign of forgiveness, Kirk should be the one to witness it.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and heard the familiar jingle above her head. Her heart rate sped up as he looked up from behind the Counter and she saw him swallow hard when he saw her.

"Oh...hey…" He said awkwardly looking around, "Um...I was just closing up. But...I think there's more coffee in the pot if you-"

"No. I'm okay…" She said trying to keep her hands from shaking, she turned towards Kirk and smiled nervously, "Hi Kirk."

Kirk studied her for a moment, "Hello Lorelai."

"How are you?" She asked Kirk, still unable to look back at Luke.

"Can't complain. I get the best seats in the house now that you aren't around." Kirk said quickly.

"Geez Kirk…" Luke said with an eyeroll, "Eat your sandwich and get out."

"But I wanted desert." Kirk said with a frown, "You said you'd make me mudpie!"

Luke groaned, "Kirk…"

Lorelai couldn't help but smile, "You should make him mud pie...I don't want to interrupt. He is a paying customer after all."

Luke stared at her for a moment, "Um...okay?" He glanced at the coffee pot again, "You sure you don't want a cup?"

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Well one cup wouldn't hurt would it?" She asked as she walked on shaking legs to the counter and sat down in her usual spot.

Luke couldn't help but smirk, "Depends on how many cups you've had today."

Lorelai put a hand on her chin and pretended to think, "Only about 50. Maybe 51." She said with a little laugh.

Luke pretended to roll his eyes as he poured the cup, "How has it not rotted your insides?"

Lorelai smiled, "Iron stomach…" She responded, thinking of Jess's words from the night before.

Luke nodded slowly and placed the cup in front of her, "They should do studies on you. Write a movie...people would be fascinated."

Lorelai laughed as she lifted the cup to her lips, "I highly doubt it." She took a sip and sighed happily, "Man that's good…"

Luke studied her for a moment, "So…"

She quickly snapped out of her daze, it felt so wonderful to feel comfortable with him again. They seemed to fall back into old habits and she wished it would be as easy as that. But she knew better...and suddenly the nerves were back in full force.

"Oh. Um...I have something for you." She reached into her bag and pulled out the check, "I was told to give this to you. And if you don't take it he said he'll just deliver it in cash."

Luke looked at her curiously as he took the check from her, realization and then confusion registered on his face. "This damn check. You saw Jess?"

Lorelai nodded and glanced down at her cup again, "I was in the city for some meetings. Last night I was heading out to get dinner and somehow he noticed me in the midst of all that city chaos."

Luke snorted as he looked at the check, "Of course he noticed you. You are pretty noticeable even in large grounds."

She swallowed hard, not sure what he meant. "Um...anyway." She glanced at him slowly and then back down at her hands holding her cup, "He took me to dinner actually. It was nice. He's grown up a lot."

Luke stared at her, mouth open as he registered what she was saying. "You had dinner? With Jess? You and Jess had dinner?"

Lorelai laughed at his shock, "I know...an unlikely pair. We weren't the best of friends."

Luke snorted, "That's putting it mildly."

Lorelai grimaced, "Yeah well...we came to the conclusion that we had a lot more in common than we ever realized."

Luke narrowed his eyes at her, "What do you mean?"

Lorelai sighed and put her coffee down, "I never hated Jess, Luke. I was terrified of him. He reminded me of myself...young and angry. Desperately searching for something...anything to hold on to. When I was his age I was hell bent on destruction...and it didn't matter who was in my path. I was afraid Rory would be in the way...so I was defensive when it came to him. I was to harsh...and I'm sorry for that."

Luke swallowed hard, "I guess I never thought of it that way…"

She nodded slowly and couldn't help but laugh, "But I guess my desire for self destruction didn't disappear after my teen years. I seem to still be lighting fires wherever I go and no matter who is in the way."

She only dared to meet his eyes for a moment but saw sorrow and regret reflected in his own. She blew out a shaky breath and shook her head as she tried to find her bearings. Jess had told her to fight...to not walk away from the thing that had made her happy. Luke had made her happy. Yes he had hurt her too...but she wanted to believe that somehow...someway they could find their way back to where they once were. They just had to find the right wormhole…

So she pushed on despite the fear in her heart, "Jess is a good kid. He's made a life for himself...and he did that on his own…" She shrugged, "And with your help. Again...like me."

Luke looked down at the counter, "Lorelai…"

"I want you to know that I am sorry Luke. I am so sorry for hurting you...and not just recently...but for every stupid thing I ever did to hurt you. Our fight after Jess and Rory got into that accident...or when I was rude to you about Nicole. I could go on and on and saying sorry will never make up for any of it." She paused and felt the tears welling up in her eyes, "You deserved better...and I'm sorry. You will never know how sorry I am."

Luke sighed, "Lorelai…

She shook her head and reached into her bag and took out the letter that Jess had given her, "He showed me this…" Luke's eyes widened when he saw his familiar writing, "You want me to be happy…" He stared at her as if to challenge her and she went on, "You made me happy Luke. At one time...you made me so happy. And then...then it all started falling apart. And I know that I never should have given you an ultimatum...but I was so scared and I just snapped. And I pushed you to hard...and then I…" Her voice cracked and she turned away, "I'm sorry. I just...I'm so sorry."

She looked up again and saw that his face was hard and unreadable. And suddenly she was back to that night begging him to marry her, to love her, to finally choose her. And now the rejection hit her full force and her fear took hold and won the battle again.

She sighed, "I'm sorry. I should go. Kirk needs his pie." She turned and briefly glanced at Kirk who looked glued to their conversation.

She thought her heart was going to burst out of her chest as she made her way to the door, she turned the knob and heard the bells jingle before she heard him. "Don't go."

Her body froze and for a moment she thought she was only imagining things. She waited patiently for a sign that what she had heard was real. It took a moment but then she heard him shuffling around the counter, she heard a chair scraping on the floor.

"Luke! What about my mud pie?" Kirk yelled as he pushed him towards the door.

"I'll make you two tomorrow Kirk." Luke grumbled as he shoved Kirk out the crack of the door that Lorelai had opened.

She watched him lock the door, flip to the closed sign and pull the shades down before turning back to her. "Lorelai…"

She sighed and let the dam break, "Why didn't you want me around April? Did you not think I was good enough to be around her? Did you not trust me? What did I do wrong?"

Luke sighed and shook his head, "Lorelai…"

"I tried...I tried to tell you that I was unhappy in Martha's Vineyard. I thought you heard me. But then we came back and it went right back to what it was before. And I tried so hard to hold on for both of us Luke but I was losing the battle everyday. And after our first break up...I was worried that if I kept bringing things up you'd leave me again. And then that night...I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to know if you loved me or not...I needed to know if you wanted to marry me. Because I didn't think you did." She said shaking her head, "And then you said no…"

"I didn't say no." Luke said shaking his head quickly, "I never said that."

"You said nothing. I mean you said you needed time but Jesus Luke...how much time did you need?" Lorelai said feeling anger bubble up inside her.

Luke groaned and gestured towards his head angrily, "I needed to sort it all out in my head."

"You were doing that for months!" Lorelai yelled, "Nothing was changing. We weren't making plans. You were pulling away while I was holding on for dear life. I felt like some worthless object in your life that you had just cast away on a whim without a second thought."

He shook his head again, "It wasn't like that…"

"But it's what it felt like." Lorelai said sadly, "I remember one night...it had been so long since we spent any real time together. And you surprised me by coming over after work...and I was so happy. And we...we slept together and I kept telling myself that it was getting better. And then you just...when it was over...when we were done…" She wiped at her eyes, "You rolled over, kissed my cheek and said you were heading back to the Diner because you had to get up so early. And I was sitting there thinking...is this how it will be when we are married? Will he still live there? I felt so used...and I just lay there all night trying to wrap my head around it all. And I couldn't…"

Luke grimaced, "Loreali...I'm so sorry. I didn't...God I'm an idiot. I got so wrapped up in my own head. It was all too much for me to handle…"

"But I wanted to help you." Lorelai said with a sad smile, "I wanted to help you figure it all out. We were supposed to spend our life together Luke. People who are married deal with things together...they find a way to fix problems together. But you wouldn't let me...and it tore us apart. I know I made mistakes...but we were broken way before that."

Luke sighed and turned to drop into Kirk's now empty chair, "I think I knew that. Deep down I could see it...but I didn't want to believe it. I had wanted us for so long...and so I told myself that it was fine. I told myself that I was doing the right thing but I knew I wasn't. And then that night...when you walked away…" He sighed and looked up at her with a defeated look on his face, "I didn't think it was forever…"

She sighed and sat across from him, "When you didn't come after me...I needed it to be forever because I was hurting so damn much."

"So you went to him…" Luke said through gritted teeth, "Because you knew that would kill me."

She bowed her head sadly and shook her head, "I honestly had no intention of…" She sighed, "I didn't go there for that...I just needed to talk to someone who knew me."

"So you couldn't talk to Rory? Sookie? Pretty sure they would have been better choices than _him."_ He said angrily.

She nodded, "You're right...I don't know why I did it. I just needed...I had to get out of here. I couldn't go back to the house knowing that we were done."

"I didn't know we were done." Luke said pointing his finger at his chest. "It wasn't over for me."

She sighed, "I needed it to be over. I couldn't take anymore Luke...I made a selfish decision and I have lived with that since then but…" She shook her head, "I am sorry. Whether you believe that or not...I am."

Luke took a deep breath, "Why did you marry him?"

She sighed and leaned against the table, "Because I couldn't have you. And...he was there. He wanted me...he wasn't afraid to tell me how he felt like you were. And I needed that...but I didn't love him. And I am a jackass because I not only hurt you but hurt him too."

"He should have known that you weren't in any condition to be jumping into a relationship...let alone a marriage." Luke said with raised eyebrows, "That's on him."

She shrugged, "Yeah. You're right...and he did know. He probably saw it as the perfect opportunity to make a move because I was vulnerable. But he probably thought at some point I would get over you…"

He paused and let her words sink in, "But...you didn't?"

Lorelai looked up at him, and took a deep breath before answering honestly. "Of course not. And I don't think I ever will."

When he didn't say anything her heart began to sink to her stomach again and she wanted to scream. She wanted to fight like Jess had told her too, and she felt like she had been since she had walked into the Diner. But now he wasn't speaking again, and it felt like he was pushing her away. She couldn't take it, she could take him yelling and accusing her of things...but she couldn't take the crushing silence.

She shook her head and let the small sob escape her hips before she lifted herself up off the chair. She opened the door quickly but heard it slam shut again, she jumped and turned to see him standing behind her.

"You read the letter?" He asked quietly as he looked directly at her with such intensity she felt the heat rise from her toes to the top of her head.

She nodded slowly and wiped at her tears to try and make her vision more clear, "Yes...I read the letter."

Luke nodded slowly, "Liz says we need to find the right wormhole...I don't really know what it means. I think maybe...she means we need to get on the same page at the same time. Because when I think about it...we never really were. Even after we got engaged...Rory was gone and you were upset and I was trying to plan the wedding for us...and then April showed up and you were ready and I wasn't...so I pushed you away."

She sniffled, "Yeah...I guess you are right."

"I want to be on the same page. I want to find our wormhole." Luke said quickly, "I'm sorry. Yes you hurt me...but I pushed you to your breaking point and I'm sorry for that. I never wanted to be the guy that hurt you...and I realize that I hurt you a lot more than I wanted to admit. You deserved better. I could have done better and I didn't. And I'm just...I'm so sorry Lorelai."

Her heart was racing, her head was spinning and she felt like her knees would give out at any moment, "Luke…"

He seemed to sense her body and mind were failing her, so he grabbed her hands to steady her. "I don't know how...but I want to fix this. I want to try...because I've regretted letting you walk way for a year now. And I don't want to have anymore regrets Lorelai…"

She licked her lips and she glanced from their joined hands to his face, "I don't either."

Luke nodded slowly and tried to smile, "So...we both want the same thing...at least I think. We want...to try and fix this?"

Lorelai lifted her head slowly, "Yes. But how-

He shook his head, "Don't ask how yet...just tell me if you want this or not…that's all I need to know right now."

She let out a shaky breath, and nodded enthusiastically. "God yes. Yes of course I want this Luke. I want us...I love you."

He nodded slowly and stepped closer to her, "Well good...because I love you too." He cracked a smile, "Looks like we may have found our wormhole…"

"Luke…" She mumbled before his lips crashed to hers, her knees buckled underneath her and she fell against him.

But he caught her, he held her in his strong arms and pulled her up against him. She gasped slightly as she pulled away, only enough to catch her breath before he pulled her in again. When he finally lessened his grip and allowed her to step back, he watched as her eyes fluttered open slowly and she steadied herself by holding his forearms.

"Lorelai?" He whispered trying to read her expression.

Her lips slowly curved into a small smile, "You definitely have to send that check back to Jess. And if he refuses it...I'll write one for him. He deserves all the money in the world right now."

Luke chuckled, "Yeah. I'll have to thank him in person next time I see him."

Lorelai nodded in response and then lifted her hand to her lips as her smile faltered slightly, "Luke...I'm scared."

He nodded slowly and stepped closer to her, "So am I. But...we'll figure it out. We have too. I'm not a fan of life without you…"

She stepped closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist, "Feeling is mutual." She breathed him in and then her eyes fluttered open and she couldn't help but laugh, "I think Kirk is stuck to your window…"

Luke looked over the top of her head and groaned, "I'll peel him off in the morning…"

"In the morning?" She whispered as she pulled away hopefully.

Luke smiled and flipped the flights, "You really think I'm letting you out of my sight? Give you a chance to change your mind? No way...you're staying here Gilmore."

She smiled as he pulled her towards the staircase, "I can promise that I won't change my mind." She said soberly.

Luke nodded and grabbed the pot of coffee off the counter, "I'll take this to lock in that answer. I figure as long as I hold this...you'll follow me anywhere."

She smirked, "Even without it I would...but that is good insurance for you." She said with a wink as she tip toed up the stairs behind him.

Luke only chuckled and led her back to the apartment and back into his life. Things weren't perfect. They had work to do. But at least they both knew what they wanted. They were finally on the same page and were willing to fight for it. They found their wormhole and there was no going back...they were finally home. 

* * *

**The chapters to follow will all be one-shots based around different times in the series. It won't go in order. It will just be posted when I finish a new one-shot. Some will follow an episode from the show and others will just be random ideas I got from listening to certain songs. Hope you enjoy!**


	2. Everything Has Changed

**Hey guys! I am glad to see people are interested in this. Here is the next chapter, it is a one-shot about the first time Luke and Lorelai met at the Diner. We heard a little bit about it during their first date, but this is my full take on it and how Luke and Lorelai felt about it.**

 **Based on the song "Everything has Changed" by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran**

All I knew this morning when I woke  
Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before  
And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago is green eyes and freckles  
And your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like  
I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now  
I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now  
I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now  
I just want to know you, know you, know you  
'Cause all I know is we said hello  
And your eyes look like coming home  
All I know is a simple name, everything has changed  
All I know is you held the door  
You'll be mine and I'll be yours  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed  
And all my walls stood tall painted blue  
But I'll take 'em down, take 'em down and open up the door for you  
And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind  
Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel like  
I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now  
I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now  
I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now  
I just want to know you, know you, know you  
'Cause all I know is we said hello  
And your eyes look like coming home  
All I know is a simple name, everything has changed  
All I know is you held the door  
You'll be mine and I'll be yours  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed  
Come back and tell me why  
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time  
And meet me there tonight  
And let me know that it's not all in my mind  
I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now  
I just want to know you, know you, know you  
All I know is we said hello  
Your eyes look like coming home  
All I know is a simple name, everything has changed  
All I know is he held the door  
You'll be mine and I'll be yours  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed  
All I know is we said hello  
So dust off your highest hopes  
All I know is pouring rain  
And everything has changed  
All I know is a new found grace  
All my days, I'll know your face  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

* * *

Luke was running back and forth from the kitchen to the counter, back to tables to take more orders. His head was spinning, as much as he was glad the Diner was successful he also felt like he was running on empty. The last few months had been a blur, Rachel had blown through town again, go this hopes up and now she was gone. Not surprising...but it still hurt. He felt like all he did was work, and sleep...it wasn't much of a life.

He was scribbling a woman's order when he felt a rush of wind and noticed something standing in front of him before they yelled. "Coffee, coffee, coffee!"

Luke looked up and felt his heart drop to his stomach, standing in front of him was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. She was tall, dark hair, and the brightest blue eyes he had even seen. He caught himself for a moment and shook his head and looked back at the pad of paper in front of him.

"You're' going ot have to wait. I'm a little busy." Luke said trying to remember what the customer had said she wanted.

"I can't wait. I need coffee!" The woman said in a whiney voice.

Luke grimaced, "You and everyone else in this damn town."

"Order up!" Caesar yelled from the kitchen.

Luke turned and grabbed the plates and started to walk around the counter, he nearly dropped the plates when he realized the woman was hot on his heels, "Geez…

"You don't understand. I got like no sleep last night and I need to have coffee in large quantities if I am going to make it through the rest of the day!" She yelled running after him.

Luke put one plate down and turned towards her, "Not my problem."

He turned to go to the next table to bring them their food but she persisted, "But I need the coffee. And Miss Patty said you have the best coffee so naturally I came here. Please…"

Luke spun around quickly, "You're being annoying." He glanced towards a table that was just being cleaned up, "Sit down. Shut up. And I'll get to you when I get to you."

Shei raised an eyebrow, "Lovely service you have here...I sure hope Miss Patty was right about the coffee…"

Luke huffed and tried to ignore the tantalizing smell of her perfume as he went to walk behind the counter again. As he cleaned plates from the counter, his eyes traveled towards her on more than one occasion. After a few minutes, she got up from the table and sat down right in front of him at the counter.

"I said I'd get to you when I get to you." Luke said wiping down the table.

"Yes but you are taking to long." She said putting her hands under her chin.

"I'm doing the best I can lady!" Luke said glancing around the Diner, "If you haven't noticed the place is mobbed and you are not the only person in the world."

She sighed and reached across the counter for the abandoned newspaper, "What's your birthday?"

He shook his head, "What are you doing?"

"What's your birthday?" She asked again more persistently as she flipped through the pages to find what she was looking for.

He glanced at the page and realized she was looking at, he rolled his eyes, "I'm a Scorpio. But why does that matter?"

She nodded quickly, ripped the horoscope out of the paper and reached behind his ear to take the pen lying there, "Need that."

"Hey!" Luke yelled as he felt his ear, the tiny area of skin she had touched was burning but he ignored it. "What the hell are you doing?"

She glanced up at him quickly and gave him a coy smile before continuing scribbling on the paper. When she finished, she folded the small piece of paper up, put his pen back where it belonged and slid the paper across the table to him.

He glanced from the paper to her for a few moments but she didn't say anything. With a sigh, he picked up the paper and unfolded it and read: _You will meet an annoying woman. Give her coffee and she'll go away._

He couldn't help but crack a small smile but quickly cleared his throat and went back to frowning. He glanced up at her and she smiled looking hopeful and yet very determined. With a sigh, he turned, poured a cup of coffee in a to-go container and slid it over to her.

"Here." He said plainly.

Her face lit up and she lifted the cup to her lips, she made a soft moaning sound as she tasted the liquid and he had to look away. She lowered the cup to the top of the counter again and sighed happily.

"My God...Miss Patty wasn't kidding. That is the best coffee I have ever had. And I have had A LOT of coffee." She said emphasizing her words dramatically.

Luke snorted, "Hence the crazy personality."

She stuck her tongue out at him and reached into her bag to throw some bills on the table, "Well...I am going to pretend you didn't say that and just say thank you for the coffee."

He nodded, "You're welcome…"

She paused by the door and turned towards him with a mysterious glint in her eyes that made his heart rate spike. "You should hold onto that horoscope."

He stared at her for a moment, confused by her words, "What?"

She shrugged and took another sip of her coffee, "Put it in your wallet. One day it will bring you luck."

She winked, turned on her heel and exited the Diner as fast as she had blown in. He was left standing there trying to make sense of his encounter. He had lived in Stars Hollow for his entire life, and he knew just about everyone. But he had never seen that woman in his life...and he was pretty damn she he would remember her if he had.

He glanced down at the horoscope in front of him and read it again: _You will meet an annoying woman. GIve her coffee and she'll go away._

His smile returned and he tried to pretend like she hadn't made an impression. He glanced around the Diner and was quickly reminded of how busy it actually was. He reached into his back pocket, opened his wallet and slipped the piece of paper in the last pocket. When he slipped it back in his jeans, he wondered what had made him do exactly what she had said.

All he knew was that there was some sort of shift in his life and he wasn't sure what it would bring...but he was interested to see where it brought him.

* * *

Later that night, the busy day had slowed down. There was just two tables for a late dinner and he was making a list of what foods he needed to order on Friday for the following week. Many times during the day, his mind wandered to the crazy woman that had burst into the Diner earlier that afternoon. And once during a quick break, he had even checked in his wallet to make sure that the encounter was real and he hadn't just made it up.

With a sigh, he tried to focus on his task at hand. But he was interrupted when he heard the bells jingle signaling a new customer. He looked up quickly and swallowed hard when he saw that familiar dark haired, blue eyes woman walk in. Only this time she wasn't alone...a young girl followed her, and she looked strikingly like her, only smaller.

He watched as the young girl walked to a table at her Mom's request and sat down, her feet just grazed the floor when she sat on the chair. The familiar woman smiled at her, walked up to the counter and smiled.

"Hiya. Remember me?" She said with a large smile.

Luke narrowed his eyes at her, "How could I forget? You were like a tornado when you came in earlier...I had to clean up the tumbleweeds for an hour after you left. Think there still might be some rolling around in the storeroom."

She laughed and looked down nervously, "You're funny."

Luke shrugged, "So...the horoscope said you would go away. And yet...you're here. Guess those zodiac signs are all a crock of shit after all."

She shook her head and pointed a finger, "It didn't say she would go away forever...just go away. And I did go away...for a few hours."

Luke nodded, "Fine. Fair enough." He glanced towards the table, "That your sister?"

He noticed her face flushed as she looked back at the young girl, "Um...daughter actually."

Luke tried to hide the surprise in his voice but he failed miserably, "Oh. Wow."

She looked down at her hands and nodded, "Yup. That's my kid. Teenage Mom…"

Luke cleared his throat, "I didn't mean…"

She looked up and smiled somewhat sadly, "It's okay. I get it all the time."

Luke narrowed his eyes at her, "I'm sure you're a great Mom."

She swallowed hard, "I hope so." He watched her look at her daughter again before turning to him, "So...I figured since the coffee was so good I'd try the rest of the things on your menu. And I can't cook to save my life...so I figured I'd bring my kid with me. Can we glance at a few menus?"

Luke nodded slowly and reached under the counter to hand her the menus, "Sure."

She nodded and began to turn away, but she stopped and turned towards him. "Um...are you Luke?"

He tried to keep from staring and he stumbled on his words, "Uh...what?"

She gestured to the door, "The sign says Luke...so I'm assuming you're Luke. Am I right?"

Luke nodded quickly, "Oh. Yeah. That's me. Luke Danes."

She smiled and reached her hand out, "Lorelai Gilmore. Nice to meet you Mr. Danes."

Luke hesitated as he reached to take her hand, he felt a shot of electricity run from his fingertips to every part of his body at her touch. "Nice to meet you too. And please...just call me Luke."

She smiled, and her eyes lit up the room. "Well alright. It's nice to meet you Luke."

He couldn't help but smile and nodded quickly. He watched her walk back to the table where the young girl was and noticed how in tune the pair seemed. He couldn't pretend that he wasn't shocked when she said it was her daughter and not her sister. She was young, and the child had to be at least 11 or 12 which meant that Lorelai was quite young when she had her daughter.

It didn't mean anything really, it was just still surprising. He watched them as they perused the menu. He was fascinated by the way Lorelai leaned in and pointed to things, made little jokes and silly faces which made the young girl laugh. Something about the way they interacted tugged at his heartstrings.

Luke Danes was never a man to take to kids. Especially when they came into the Diner. They were often loud and demanding, extremely messy and unaware of the fact that there were other people in the Diner. But this child, this young girl was so composed. She was sitting on her hands, swinging her feet under the chair and talking quietly and happily to her Mother.

After a few minutes, he saw them close their menu's and he took that as a signal that they were ready to order. Composing himself quickly, he walked around the counter and made his way over to their table.

"All set?" He asked glancing at Lorelai.

Lorelai nodded, "Yes. I will have a cheeseburger, and french fries please. And Rory...can you tell the nice man what you'd like?"

Luke glanced over at the young girl named Rory and tried to smile, "Can I please have a grilled cheese with french fries?"

Luke was shocked by how well behaved she was, "Um...sure. Anything to drink?"

"Just water please." She said glancing up at him with a kind but nervous smile.

Luke nodded, "You got it." He turned towards Lorelai, "And you?"

"Water. And coffee. Definitely coffee. In fact...skip the water and just bring the coffee and keep it coming." Lorelai said smiling up at him.

He scoffed, "Coffee at this time of night? You'll never sleep!"

Lorelai shrugged, "Yes I will. My body has come accustomed to so much coffee. I need the coffee to keep my feet moving." She glanced over at her daughter, "Right Rory?"

Rory smiled at her Mom, "Mom loves her coffee. You can't take the coffee away from her. If you do...you may put me in peril danger."

Lorelai shook her head, "Hey...don't say that. Mommy loves and takes care of you with or without the coffee. I'm just more fun with the coffee!"

Rory laughed, "That's true."

Luke sighed, "So...I'm getting the coffee, aren't I?"

Lorelai beamed up at him, "Yes please!"

Luke rolled his eyes, turned and went back to the kitchen. He filled their cups, brought them over and exchanged quick smiles with them. When he went to the kitchen again, he began to cook their meals and couldn't help but hear them talking. At that point they were the only customers left, so there was nothing else to listen to.

"So hun, how was school?" Lorelai asked.

"Fine. Mr. Collins made me read my paper in front of the whole class...it was so embarrassing." Rory said with a sigh.

"Why'd he do that?" Lorelai asked softly.

"He said that it was the best one he had read in years. He said it was advanced…" Rory said in a shy voice.

"Rory! That's great!" He could practically see the large smile plastered on Lorelai's face.

"But it was so embarrassing...you know I hate talking in front of people." The young girl said quickly. "I'm sure my face was bright red the whole time. Lane said I did fine...but she said it with that look on her face that said I'm glad you didn't puke."

"Aw hon…" Lorelai whispered, "I know it's hard for you...but you're so smart and your teachers know that. And I am so incredibly proud of you. Just like I always am…"

Rory sighed, "I know…"

"You have to to know how great you are kid. Every single day you make me proud to be your Mother. You're only 11 but you're going places. I know that. Everyone knows that." Lorelai said with a happy voice.

"Thanks Mom…" Rory whispered softly.

"Tell you what...you deserve desert. I'll see if I can have Luke make you an ice cream sandwich after you finish your dinner. What do you think of that?" Lorelai asked.

Rory smiled, "Sounds good."

Lorelai stood up quickly, walked over to the counter and called out to Luke, "Oh Luuuuke!"

Luke pretended he hadn't been listening to their conversation, he poked his head around the doorframe and smiled. "Yeah?"

She gestured towards him, "Can I ask for a favor?"

Luke pretended to not know what she was going to ask, "Depends on what it is."

Lorelai smiled, "Rory had kind of a rough day...think you can make her an ice cream sundae after she finishes her dinner? I know it would cheer her up."

Luke walked closer to the counter and her, "She okay?"

Lorelai smiled and glanced back at Rory who was now happily reading the book she had brought with her. "Oh yeah...she's just kind of a shy kid if you couldn't tell. Her teacher made her read her paper in front of the class and it totally embarassed her...she doesn't realize how damn smart she is."

Luke smiled at how happy she was talking about her daughter, "She's really well behaved...most kids run in here screaming and demanding things."

Lorelai sighed happily, "Yeah...I got really lucky with her. She's one of a kind."

Luke couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her, "Guess so…"

She turned back to him and smiled brilliantly, "So...what do you think? Can you make the girls night with some extra sugary goodness?"

Luke nodded, unable to say no he replied, "I think I can make that happen."

She bit her lip and nodded, "Thank you!"

He shrugged, "No worries…" He watched her walk back to the table and once again interact with her daughter.

Walking back to the kitchen, he tried to think of anything other than those bright blue eyes and that smile that drew him in. What was it about this mystery woman that him turn soft? He had barely known her for 24 hours and she already had him hanging on her every word. This was unusual...and confusing and quite frankly a bit terrifying.

But when he heard her laugh filter in from the dining room to the kitchen, he calmed down and returned to his task at hand. When their food was finally ready, he carried the plates out to them and placed them in front of them.

"Here you go." Luke said as he reached for a ketchup bottle to hand to Rory.

"Thank you." Rory said with a soft smile up at Luke.

He nodded, "No problem."

He saw Lorelai take a bite out of her burger and make that same moaning sound she had made when drinking his coffee that morning, "Man...what magical cooking powers do you have? Not only do you have the best coffee I've ever had...but the best burgers too!"

Luke blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, "No magic powers. Just lots of practice."

Lorelai smiled, "Well I hate to break it to you buddy...but that horoscope was a lie. I'm not going away. I think I'm now addicted to your coffee and burgers." She turned towards Rory, "What do you think kid? Happy?"

Rory swallowed her food and nodded, "It's really good. Much better than when you try to make it and burn them."

Lorelai scoffed, "Hey...don't be mean to Mommy."

Rory smiled, "Just being honest like you always told me to be."

Lorelai playfully feigned hurt, "Except when it hurts me…then you are allowed to lie through your teeth. In fact I encourage it!"

Rory rolled her eyes, "Nice. Teach your kid to lie."

Luke chuckled, "Are you two always like this?"

Lorelai and Rory smiled at each other and answered insync, "Yes."

He laughed again and shook his head, "Good to know. Can I get you anything else right now?"

Lorelai glanced down at her now empty coffee cup, "More coffee?"

Luke sighed, "You're going to rot your insides."

"But at least I will get a lot done while it happens!" Lorelai said with a sparkling smile.

He pretended to look angry and walked away to get her more coffee. Luke continued to clean as he casually listened to their conversations. It was hard to keep up, they jumped from one topic to the next. School, work, he gathered that she worked at the Independence Inn which interested him. He had known the owner Mia for his whole life, and he was wondering why she had never mentioned the tall, beautiful woman who worked there.

It didn't go unnoticed by him that the word 'Dad' never came out of the young girl's mouth. And he couldn't deny that he made a mental note to check her finger for a ring when he refilled her coffee for the second time. It surprised him when he felt a sudden rush of relief when he saw that her finger was bare.

Pushing that happiness aside, he went back to the slow process of closing down the Diner. He noticed when their plates were near empty and went to the kitchen to prepare the sundae that Lorelai had requested for Rory. He brought it over just as they were pushing their plates to the center of the table.

"Like magic he appears with more delicious treasures!" Lorelai said with a smirk as Rory's face lit up at the sight of the large sundae.

"I doubt you will be able to finish it." Luke said with a chuckle.

"Yes we will." Lorelai and Rory said together.

"Can you bring me a spoon to share?" Lorelai asked with a flutter of her eyelashes.

Luke shook his head, "On it."

He walked to the counter again and went to get a spoon and another cup of water for Rory when he heard them talking again.

"Mom…" Rory said with a mouthful of ice cream, "I'm supposed to bring that check tomorrow for our field trip to Hartford next week."

Luke peeked behind him and saw Lorelai's face redden, "Oh right...I keep forgetting about that."

Rory nodded, "I know...but tomorrow is the deadline and if I don't bring it Mr. Collins says I can't go...and I was really looking forward to going to that museum. Lane and I were going to sit on the bus together and eat candy because Miss Kim will never know."

Lorelai nodded and took out her wallet, "Right. I remember. No problem. I will have the money kiddo. I promise!"

Rory nodded and turned to Luke, "Excuse me, but do you have a bathroom here?" She asked shyly, unable to meet his eyes.

Luke nodded and pointed to the back, "Right through there."

Rory nodded, "Thank you." She turned back to her Mom, "Be right back. Don't eat all the ice cream before I get back please…"

Lorelai turned from her wallet and plastered a smile on her face, "I wouldn't worry about it...I'm still without a SPOON." She made sure to yell the last part of her sentence.

Luke jumped and walked around the counter, "I got it. I got it."

Rory excused herself and made her way to the bathroom. Luke picked up Lorelai's empty plate and watched her return to staring blankly at her wallet. A knot began to form in his stomach.

"You want more coffee?" He asked casually.

She glanced up at him quickly, "Oh uh...no. That's okay. Probably had enough for tonight…" She licked her lips nervously, "I'll...I'll just take the check."

Luke stared at her for a moment, "You know...I have this rule...first time customers meals are on the house."

The words left his mouth before he realized what he was saying. But he didn't want to take it back, despite the fact that it wasn't a rule, he figured she didn't need to know.

Lorelai's face reddened, "Oh really?"

He shrugged, "Yeah. You can even ask Miss Patty…"

Lorelai took a deep breath and looked up at him, "I'm not sure I'd feel right about that. Plus...I don't' believe you because I paid for my coffee this morning."

Now it was Luke's turn to blush, "Yeah well...that was only because I didn't have the time to tell you about the rule. You blew out of here so fast I didn't have time to form the words."

She laughed and he knew in that moment that he would do whatever it took to keep her laughing, "Like a tornado, right?"

He smirked, "Tornado...hurricane...epic tropical storm."

She laughed again, "Real smooth talker you are…"

He shrugged, "Anyway...it is a rule. And I would have told you if I had the time but I didn't. So...now I am and you have to abide by my rules. I am the owner…"

"It does say our name out front…" She said nodding as she pointed to the sign outside. "But I'd have to see your birth certificate to confirm you are in fact the very Luke that it refers too…"

Luke playfully rolled his eyes, "Again...ask Miss Patty. She'll tell you who I am."

She leaned her chin on her hands and smiled up at him, "Oh I fully intend to ask her all about the plaid wearing funny man who owns the Diner. Don't you worry about that!"

Luke groaned, "Oh great…"

She laughed, "I'm sure she will have some wonderful stories to tell me!" She paused and looked down again, "But um...are you sure?"

He nodded slowly, "I'm sure. No paying." He held out his hand and offered her a spoon, "Enjoy your sundae…"

Lorelai took the spoon from him and smiled, "Oh, I will."

Their eyes locked for a moment, and Luke wasn't sure if anything could break the connection. But then Rory walked back in the room and sat down breaking the tension.

"Wow...I really thought I'd come back to an empty bowl." Rory said staring down at the still full but melting sundae. "Nice self restraint Mom."

Lorelai sighed playfully and pointed the spoon at Luke, "Someone was withholding the spoon...I don't think he trusts me."

"I don't." Luke said playing along as he shook his head, "The sundae was for the kid...not you." He said glaring at her.

Rory giggled and took a spoonful into her mouth, not caring that the whipped cream had stuck to her nose, "Thanks Duke!"

Lorelai laughed, both at the whipped cream and the wrong name her daughter had used. "Yeah, thanks Duke!" She said digging into the sundae herself.

Luke groaned, "Aw geez...it's Luke."

"That's what she said...Duke." Lorelai said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Rory continued to giggle as she scooped up more ice cream, "Duke! Duke! Duke!"

Luke's face burned but he couldn't help but laugh as he walked back to the counter. He began to count the money in the register and often stole glances over at the two dark haired girls devouring their sundae. As the ice cream got lower and lower in the bowl, he felt a strange sense of sadness that they would be leaving.

He wondered if they would be back again…

Lorelai left the last bit of the sundae to Rory and walked over to the counter. Luke pretended to be counting still, but truth be told he had lost count awhile back while staring at her.

"Did you need something else?" Luke asked trying hard to note stare too intensely.

Lorelai shook her head, "Oh no...we are full for once which is unusual." She glanced back at Rory and then turned back to him quickly. "I just uh...I wanted to say thanks. She seems a lot happier than when I picked her up from school."

Luke nodded, "No big deal. I'm here to serve my customers…"

She smiled softly and looked down at her hands, "Well I am very glad that Patty suggested I try this place…"

Luke made a mental note to give Patty extra eggs and bacon in the morning, "Well good…"

Lorelai licked her lips and patted the counter twice, "I should get her home...she has school in the morning."

Luke nodded, "Sure right. She needs her sleep…"

Lorelai nodded, "Yep. Kids need sleep…"

Luke rubbed the back of his neck, "Sorry...this is probably going to sound weird. I just...I've lived here forever and I know pretty much everyone in town."

"Oh...big man in Stars hollow, huh?" Lorelai said with a teasing smile.

He rolled his eyes, "There aren't that many people here...it's easy to know everyone. Especially if you grow up here."

Lorelai nodded, "Right. Got it. So...you were saying?"

He cleared his throat, "I just...haven't seen you around before. Are you new in town?"

"Technically...I guess we are." Lorelai said with a blush rising in her cheeks. "We were living at the Independence Inn for the first years of Rory's life...but I just bought a house on Maple Street."

"You lived at the Independence Inn?" Luke asked curiously. "I know Mia very well…"

Lorelai smiled, "She's the best. Yeah she...she gave me a job when I first showed up there when Rory was just a baby. She converted the old potting shed into kind of like a loft for us. And I saved every penny I could...and bought our house."

Luke's eyes widened, impressed by her words. "Wow. That's amazing…"

Lorelai shrugged, "Our house isn't the best. Could use a lot of work...but it's the first real home Rory has had. Mine too really...so for now it will do."

Luke squinted a little, "You said Maple Street?"

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah. We live next to Babette and Morey...do you know them? A little strange...but they seem very nice. They've been very helpful since we moved in."

Luke nodded, "Oh I know them alright. And I know your house." He hesitated, "Sorry...that was probably a weird thing to say."

She shook her head, "No. You've lived here forever, right? You must know everything about Stars Hollow."

"Sometimes I wish I didn't." He said with a laugh before glancing down at his hands, "But uh...yeah that house could use some work." He cleared his throat, "If you...if you ever need help with anything…"

"Mom can we go? I'm super tired…" Rory said pulling at Lorelai's sweater gently.

Lorelai snapped out of her Luke daze and glanced down at her daughter, "Oh sure kid. Sorry...it is getting late. Grab your stuff and we will head out. Can you say thank you to Luke?"

Rory sheepishly turned to Luke and smiled, "Thank you for dinner. It was delicious. The ice cream sundae was even better."

Luke couldn't help but smile at her, "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Come back anytime."

"I'm sure we will. Mom can't cook a piece of toast." Rory said with a shrug as she turned to get her book and jacket at the table.

Lorelai couldn't help but laugh, "Aw kids...they tell it like it is."

Luke smiled, "Guess so…" He cleared his throat, "But um...like I was saying...if you need help fixing anything up...I know a thing or two."

Lorelai's smile grew, "I'll remember that...thank you."

He nodded, "Don't mention it…"

"Mom?" Rory called again from the table.

Lorelai took a deep breath and stepped away from the counter, "Right. Time to get you home kiddo. Gotta keep you at the top of your class!"

Rory smiled and walked towards the door as Lorelai grabbed her bag, "Bye Duke!" Rory yelled as she walked out the door.

Lorelai giggled and turned to him before leaving, "Yeah...bye Duke!"

Luke lifted a hand to wave, not even pretending to be annoyed. He watched them out the window until he couldn't see them anymore. He quietly walked to the door, turned the lock and the sign from Open to Close. As he turned out the lights, took the money to put in the safe and walked up to his apartment...he couldn't help but think that his earlier thoughts were right. There was a cosmic shift the moment that Lorelai waltzed into the Diner and it both intrigued and scared him. But as he lay in bed that night...he just hoped he'd see her again...and soon.

* * *

The following morning, Luke kept busy with the usual morning rush. He made countless pancakes, enough bacon to stop a heart and poured enough coffee that would make even Lorelai Gilmore sick. His mind wandered to her over and over though he wished it wouldn't. He couldn't pretend that every time the door opened and the bells jingled he didn't secretly hope it was her.

It wasn't until around 10:15 when the breakfast rush had finally died down that the door opened and she walked in looking as beautiful as he had remembered.

"Hey…" Luke said nodding towards her as she walked in.

She smiled and walked towards the counter, "I saw Miss Patty this morning...and she had some interesting information for me…"

Luke's heart sped up and he raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

Lorelai sat down at the stool near the register and leaned her elbows against the counter, "Yup. She said she's never heard of your first time customers don't pay rule…" She pointed a finger at him, "In fact...she said she was your first customer ever and you totally charged her full price despite that fact that you've known her forever."

Luke smiled slightly but also blushed, "Huh...she must have a faulty memory."

Lorelai clucked her tongue, "I may have only known her for a short period of time...but I can tell that that women's memory is as tight as a vault. She knows everyone's secrets."

Luke laughed, "Can't argue with that…"

She narrowed her eyes at him, "So why didn't you make me pay?"

Luke sighed and looked out the window, "You get Rory's check for her field trip?"

Lorelai's face flushed, "Yes…"

Luke nodded, "Good." He reached for the coffee pot and began to fill a cup for her, "I'll tell you what...bring her by tonight and I'll charge you full price. Okay?"

Lorelai opened her mouth to fight him, but something in the way his blue eyes shined almost through her soul made her realize it would be a useless cause. "Okay…"

Luke nodded and slid the mug closer to her, "Okay."

She watched as he turned back towards the counter to fill some salt shakers and she tried to remember the last time she had ever felt so comfortable with anyone, especially a man. And quite honestly...she couldn't. Daring to push things a bit further, she shifted on her stool and pulled the cup closer to her.

"So...my kitchen sink won't stop leaking. Babette gave me the name for this plumber guy last week when we had a problem with the tub…" She lifted the mug to her lips, "But um...to be honest he was a bit of a creep. Scared Rory I think…"

Luke still had his back to her but he couldn't help but smile, "I can come by sometime to take a look at it…" He turned to face her and shrugged, "If you want…"

Lorelai smiled as she took a sip of her coffee, "I'd like that."

He smiled and turned back to his work. "Okay."

She smirked as she watched him work. "Okay."

They sat in comfortable silence for awhile until Lorelai's stomach grumbled. Luke slid a danish over to her on a plate and said something about them being yesterday's leftovers. She took a bite and knew they were quite fresh but didn't fight him. She was just thankful she had finally found a real friend in this tiny town.

Things were changing...everything was changing...and for the first time in a long time neither of them were scared of what it would mean.

* * *

 **So what did you think? I just always pictured their first meeting being such a big moment for both of them. They mean so much to each other, and this song signified that to me. Their lives changed once they met. Hope you liked it and want me to continue with more one-shots! If so - let me know and drop a review! I will try and update soon!**


	3. When The Time Is Right

**Hey guys! Here is a different take on Luke and Lorelai getting back together at Rory's party. I was so happy that it finally happened, but I wanted more! So here is my version based on the song "When The Time Is Right" by Griffin House :)**

It can be a real long road  
It can be a lonely night  
When you're on your own  
And you're running out of light  
It can be a real long ride  
When you're running out of time  
So when the time is right  
Don't hold back  
When the time is right  
Don't hold back  
Doesn't matter who you are  
Doesn't matter where you've been  
Doesn't matter where you start  
Only matters where you end  
It can be a real long road  
When I'm looking in your eyes  
Give me just one more chance  
Give me just one more try  
When the time is right  
Don't hold back  
When the time is right  
Don't hold back  
Doesn't matter who you are  
Doesn't matter where you've been  
Doesn't matter where you start  
Only matters where you end  
When the time is right  
Don't hold back  
When the time is right  
Don't hold back  
When the time is right  
Don't hold back  
When the time is right  
Don't hold back  
When the time is right  
Don't hold back

* * *

Luke stood behind the grill taking orders from everyone at the party. He still couldn't believe he had managed to pull it off. Despite the downpour of rain, the party was happening and despite the lack of sleep, the smile on Lorelai's face made it all worth it. He still had no idea where they stood, but right now it didn't really matter. He just wanted to see her happy...he wanted to see them both happy. Rory would be leaving in the morning, and he knew how difficult it was going to be for them both.

It killed him that April was all the way in New Mexico, it had been so hard to let her leave. But Rory and Lorelai had a bond much deeper than any mother daughter relationship he had ever seen. Rory was Lorelai's whole world, and he couldn't imagine what she was feeling at the moment. So if tonight he could make her happy for just a little while longer it would be all worth it. He let himself look up from his grilling duties and couldn't help but feel swept up in how beautiful she was. The way she threw her head back and laughed at something Sookie said made him crave the days where they were inseparable. But that was a long time ago...and she had said the song didn't mean anything. So for now...he had to take what he could get.

Lorelai was standing with Sookie as Rory mingled with her friends getting in as many goodbyes and thank you's as possible.

Lorelai glanced around and took a deep breath, "I can't believe you did all this."

Sookie shook her head, "I didn't do as much as you think...it was mostly Luke."

Lorelai's head snapped up at the mention of her ex's name, "Luke? What do you mean?"

"Well when he heard the party was going to be cancelled...he was convinced we should try and make it work anyway. He called everyone together...made all the plans. And then when we heard it was going to rain...we figured we would have to cancel afterall. But Luke...he wouldn't give up." Sookie said with a large smile on her face, "He went to everyone last night and asked for any tents or tarps, even raincoats that we had. He must have stayed up all night making the tent!"

Lorelai's heart pounded in her chest, "He did?"

Sookie nodded, "He was determined to make this party happen...and he did."

"Wow…" Lorelai whispered as tears welled up in her eyes, "That's so...so…"

"So Luke?" Sookie asked with a knowing smile and a gentle squeeze on her friend's arm, "Like the old Luke?"

Lorelai let out a shaky breath, "Exactly…"

Sookie gave her a sad look, "Honey don't you think you could try again? He clearly still has feelings for you...and everyone heard the song the other night."

Lorelai grimaced, "Ugh...please don't bring up the song! I still haven't gotten that mental image out of my head. I feel like such a fool."

"You shouldn't!" Sookie said quickly, "I only wish I had been there. It sounded so romantic."

Lorelai sighed, "I just...I don't know Sookie. So much has happened...we both said and did terrible things to hurt one another. I don't know if he could ever forgive me for going to Christopher. And I don't blame him...I did the one thing I knew he couldn't forgive."

"You'd be surprised what people are willing to forgive…" Sookie said with a shrug.

Lorelai sighed and opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a tap on her shoulder, "Oh...Kirk. Hi."

Kirk smiled sheepishly at her, "Hello Lorelai. I was wondering if you would like to dance with me?"

Lorelai's face reddened and she glanced at the couples currently slow dancing on the small dance floor, "Oh. Me? Aren't you here with Lulu?"

Kirk nodded, "Yes. But she has given me permission to dance with you. She knows it was always a fantasy of mine."

Lorelai glanced over at Lulu in the corner who was winking and giving her the thumbs up. Lorelai quickly glanced back at Kirk, "Um...it's just a dance right? Lulu is giving me a look like I'm supposed to run off with you somewhere…"

Kirk shook his head, "No. She hasn't given me that permission yet. Just a dance tonight."

Lorelai's eyes widened as she glanced at Sookie who was trying not to laugh, she didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Um...oh. Okay...sure. Let's dance."

Kirk awkwardly put out his hand which Lorelai took before turning back to Sookie and whispering, "If the song is more than 2 minutes you have to find a way to save me!"

Sookie only waved as Kirk dragged her out onto the dancefloor. Within 5 seconds, he had already stepped on her feet twice but she tried to hide the pain as he counted his steps outloud. Rory saw her mother and quickly ran to Sookie to get the inside scoop.

"How the heck did that happen?" Rory said nudging Sookie.

Sookie was full out laughing now, "Kirk said it was one of his fantasies and that Lulu had given him permission to ask her…"

"Oh Geez…" Rory said scrunching up her nose, "Poor Mom…"

Sookie nodded, "I know. She is too nice to say no." She glanced over at Luke who seemed to be to busy to notice Lorelai and Kirk dancing. "I was trying to talk to her about Luke...about maybe giving it a second chance. But...she seemed to afraid."

Rory sighed, "I know. I thought maybe after karaoke the other night...Luke would make a move. But he didn't. And now that I'm leaving...I really wish he would. I hate to think of her being here all alone and sad…"

"Well you know she has me. I'll look after her." Sookie said rubbing Rory's shoulders to reassure her.

Rory smiled, "I know you will. And I love you for that…" She sighed and looked back at her Mom, "But I also know she misses him...and she regrets everything that has happened in the last year."

Sookie nodded, "I know…" She paused for a moment and then smiled, "You know Luke did all this...he wanted to make sure you had your big send off party."

Rory glanced back at Sookie in surprise, "He did?"

Sookie nodded and smiled, "Yep. He stayed up all night when he realized it would rain...he wasn't going to let us cancel it."

"Wow…" Rory said with a lump in her throat, "I can't believe it…"

"You should. You know you've had him wrapped around your finger since you were a kid." Sookie said with a shrug, "He loves you too kid…"

Rory stood in her spot for a moment watching Luke man the grill and smile as people called out to him. For so long, he had been such a large part of her life. And now that he and her Mom were broken up it felt strange not seeing him all the time. She had to admit that like her Mother, she had missed him too. He had done so much for her growing up...and she was going to miss him when she left. She didn't just want her Mom to be happy...she wanted him to be happy too.

So with a determined look, she glanced at Sookie. "Sookie I have too-"

Sookie smiled and nodded, "I know. Go ahead…"

Rory gave her a quick hug and she went behind the grill behind Luke. He quickly glanced at her and smiled at her, "Hey! You hungry? You can cut the line. Can't send you off tomorrow without a full stomach."

Rory smiled at him, "Thank you Luke."

He nodded, "Sure, you want a hotdog or a hamburger? If you want cheese I need to run back to the Diner but it will only take a minute."

She shook her head, "I'm not talking about the food…" He looked up and gave her a questioning look, "I'm talking about the party. Sookie told me what you did…"

Luke swallowed hard and glanced over at Caesar, "Hey...can you take over for a minute?"

Caesar looked between Rory and Luke and smiled, "Sure thing boss. Take your time."

Luke nodded, wiped his hands on a towel and led Rory away from the grill and the large crowd, "Rory…" He started to say.

She shook her head not willing to let him make her lose her nerve, "Luke you have always been there for me. You've done so much."

He sighed and nervously put his hands in his pockets, "Well...you're a great kid." He smirked and shook his head, "Woman now...you're not a kid. I've watched you grow up and I am incredibly proud of you."

Rory swallowed hard, "Thank you Luke. That means more than you could know…" She glanced back at her mother with tear filled eyes, "And I probably don't have the right to ask you for one more favor…"

Luke shook his head and reached out to pat her shoulder gently, "You can ask me for anything Rory. What is it?"

She took a deep breath and looked back at him, "I want you to take care of Mom when I'm gone. She's going to need you now more than ever."

Luke took a deep breath and reached up to rub the back of his neck, "Rory…"

"I know...I know things were bad at the end. I know everything that happened…" She whispered and his eyes met hers in shock, "And I'm not saying what Mom did was right...or what you did for that matter. I know there is a lot of hurt there…" She took another deep breath and shrugged, "But I also have to believe that there is a lot of love still there too...and that kind of love doesn't just disappear...you wouldn't have thrown this party if you didn't still have feelings for her."

Luke looked down nervously, "It's complicated…"

Rory nodded to show she understood, "If there is one thing I have learned in the last few years...the things that are worth it usually are complicated." He didn't lift his face to meet her eyes and she pressed on, "Do you still love her?"

Luke was quiet for a moment before he finally met her gaze, "Of course I do."

Rory's eyes filled with tears and she nodded quickly, "Then tell her."

Luke grimaced, "But...she said she didn't mean the song...I heard her at the Diner...talking to Miss Patty and Babette."

Rory shook her head, "Yes the song started as a joke for me...but as soon as you walked in it changed. Believe me...it meant everything Luke. That night at home...she thought I didn't know but I heard her crying. She misses you so much...she's just scared. She thinks you hate her...and she's afraid to get hurt again. But Luke...you guys are supposed to be together. I know you are. It can't be over…"

Luke glanced around the tent and finally noticed Lorelai awkwardly dancing with Kirk, "What is she doing?"

Rory followed his gaze and laughed, "You know Mom...she couldn't hurt Kirk's feelings. Apparently Lulu gave him permission to dance with her seeing as it was one of his fantasies."

Luke's head snapped towards Rory again, "Fantasies?" He grumbled.

Rory laughed, "Yup. And this would be a good time to go rescue her…" She whispered as she pushed him towards the dance floor.

He let her push him for a moment before he turned slowly, "Rory I-"

Rory nodded, "I know. I know you didn't mean to hurt her either. And I'm trusting you to keep your promises this time around Luke...because if you don't…" She smirked, "I'll have to fly back from Chicago to hurt you…"

Luke cracked a smile, "I wouldn't worry about that…"

Rory shook her head, "I'm not." She turned him and pushed him towards her Mom once more, "Now go! She's going to lose a toe in a minute of Kirk steps on her feet one more time."

Luke chuckled and took a deep breath before he made his way onto the dance floor where Lorelai let Kirk sway her awkwardly. He saw her grimace as he stepped on her toes once again and suddenly he wasn't so nervous anymore.

"Um...mind if I cut in?" Luke asked just as the song began to change.

Lorelai's head snapped up at the sound of that familiar deep voice and her heart started pounding in her chest, "Luke…"

Kirk only stared at Luke for a moment, "I'm sorry Luke...I don't think that would be appropriate. I love you as a friend...my best friend in fact. But...I have never had feelings for you like that."

Lorelai bit her lip to keep from laughing as Luke rolled his eyes, "Geez Kirk...I don't want to dance with you! I want to dance with her…" Luke said pointing at Lorelai.

Kirk stepped back slightly, "Oh. Right...well the song is over anyway and Lulu only gave me permission for one full song."

Lorelai took a deep breath, "Well...tell Lulu thank you for letting me share you. Even if just for a few minutes…"

Kirk blushed, "I...I don't think I should tell her that. She may become jealous of what we just shared…"

Lorelai's face burned and tried not to laugh, "Well okay then...why don't you just keep that secret between us, okay?" She gave him an awkward wink and he turned and fled back towards Lulu, Lorelai glanced at Luke and smiled. "Hey. Thanks for saving me…" She looked at her toes, "My feet really appreciate it…"

Luke smiled and stepped closer to her, "No problem…" He put his hand out for her to take and he saw her eyes widen in shock.

"Oh...you really want to dance with me?" She asked in surprise as the pounding in her chest grew rapidly.

He smiled at her and nodded, "I asked, didn't I?"

She stumbled on her words for a moment before nodding and answering, "Well...yes. But I just thought you were being polite to make Kirk leave me alone."

Luke shook his head and stepped closer and gave her that look that made her weak in the knees, "I had selfish motives."

Her breath caught in her throat as his hand touched her lower back, "Luke…"

"Dance with me Lorelai…" Luke whispered, bending his knees just enough to look directly in her eyes, "Please?"

She had never been able to resist those intense blue eyes, so she just nodded silently. She gasped when his grip on her back tightened and he pulled her closer. Their hands clasped together and he began to sway with her to the music and suddenly her mind wandered to their very first dance.

She turned her head to the side so that he wouldn't see the tears burning in her eyes, and she was vaguely aware that all eyes were currently on them as they danced so closely. She breathed in and felt a wave of memories and regret wash over her, she had missed this closeness more than she had cared to admit. Tomorrow Rory was going to leave...and once again she was going to be alone and the pain of losing Luke would swallow her whole. She was sure of that…

She tried to hold it together, but she knew he had heard her stifle the sob in the back of her throat because he seemed to hold her tighter. She squeezed her eyes shut and cursed herself for allowing herself to feel so much for this man.

"Lorelai…" Luke whispered feeling her begin to tremble in his arms, "Lorelai…" He tried again.

She shook her head, she was still turned away from him slightly. "Don't…"

He sighed and pulled her even closer, afraid her legs were going to give out. "I know you are sad about Rory leaving…"

She bit her lip hard, she was sure she would draw blood, "Please Luke...don't."

He ignored her words and pressed on as they continued to sway, he caught Rory's eyes and she just nodded in encouragement. "And I...I know how hard it will be for you to say goodbye. To...let her leave."

"Stop." Lorelai begged as the tears finally began to spill over, she pulled away from him much to his surprise and regret. "Please just stop…"

He felt her slipping away again and the words he had wanted to say for so long spilled from his lips, "I miss you. And I still lo-"

"No. I can't do this." Lorelai said quickly as she turned and practically ran from the tent out into the pouring rain.

"Lorelai!" Luke yelled after her but she kept running.

Rory was at his side quicker than he expected, "Go after her!"

Luke glanced at her, "Rory I don't think she wants me too."

Rory sighed and grabbed his shoulders, "Luke...she does. She's just scared to death, okay? I know she wants to be with you. So make her listen to you! Do whatever you have to do! Just...don't let her walk away again."

He opened his mouth to respond but Sookie walked up to him and handed him an umbrella, "Go!" Sookie yelled pushing him.

He didn't need to be told twice, he ran as fast as his feet would carry him and yanked the umbrella open as he stepped out into the cold rain. He saw her running still almost at the jeep, he saw the way her shoulders were shaking and she was getting soaked.

"Lorelai!" Luke yelled as he turned his body towards her and ran as fast as humanly possible.

She groaned when she saw him running after her, she had just reached the jeep and grabbed the door handle but he placed his hand on the door and shut it again. "Luke! Leave me alone!" She sobbed.

He groaned and pulled her until the large umbrella to try and shield her from the rain, "You are soaked."

She shook her head and looked anywhere but at him as she pushed her dark, wet curls away from her face. "It doesn't matter. None of it does."

With one hand on the umbrella handle and one on her arm, he gave her a gentle squeeze. "I don't think you mean that. You wouldn't be this upset if it didn't matter...if it didn't mean anything."

She sobbed harder as she finally looked at him, "I can't do this Luke. I can't...not again."

He bit his lip and tried to will his mind to tell him what he needed to do. "Yes you can."

She groaned and shook her head, "No. I can't Luke...it hurts to damn much. It's killing me...it's been killing me for over a year...I never wanted this to happen."

His grip on her arm tightened slightly, "I didn't either. It just...it got so screwed up. I got so screwed up...I pushed you away and you will never know how sorry I am for that. I was wrong to keep you from April. I don't know why I did it…"

"I wanted to help you Luke…" She swallowed hard and glanced down at his hand holding her arm, "I didn't…" She sighed and shook her head, "I'm so sorry for what I did. For going…"

Luke gave her arm a squeeze again, "It's okay."

Her head snapped up quickly and she stared at him in disbelief, "No. It isn't. What I did was terrible and unforgivable!"

He shook his head, "I did forgive you...I do."

She stared at him open mouthed, "No. You don't. And you can't." She tried to turn away but he pulled her back, "Luke...let go!"

"Damn it Lorelai!" Luke yelled as he shoved the umbrella handle into her hands, "Hold this."

She was startled but held onto the cold metal and stared at him, unable to look away, "What are you doing?"

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet before taking out the worn piece of paper he had shown her on their very first date. "If I didn't want to be with you...if I didn't love you still...do you think I'd still be carrying around this damn thing?"

Her mouth fell open in shock and she shuddered, "You...you kept it?"

He sighed and gave her the saddest smile she had ever seen, "Of course I did. I couldn't get rid of it." He laughed sadly, "I tried...more than once. But every time I went to do it...I chickened out."

She sobbed again and pushed the horoscope back at him, "Luke…"

"I let you walk away once. And I'm not going to make the same mistake twice." Luke said desperately trying to make her understand him. "I didn't get it then...I didn't see…"

"See what?" Lorelai asked as she glanced up at him nervously.

"See what I would be losing…" He said as he put the horoscope back in his wallet and back into his back pocket, "I didn't know it was forever...and I still don't' think it's forever."

She shook both from her sobs and his words, "But Luke…"

"Look…" He sighed and wiped his hand over his face, "I know...I know I'm not good at this crap. I never know what I'm supposed to say...but...I just can't do this anymore. I can't pretend to be happy without you."

She swallowed hard and her eyes fluttered a few times before she let her eyes meet his, "You said you were over it…"

He smiled sadly, "I was angry. And hurt...and in complete denial that I had contributed to the break up. I wanted to hurt you because I thought it would make me feel better."

"And did it?" Lorelai asked anxiously as she licked her lips in anticipation of his words.

He shook his head, "Of course not. It only made me feel worse...but then I didn't know what to do. And then the next thing I knew you were at the hospital...and you had…" He sighed, "I saw the ring...so I just gave up."

"Oh Luke…" She said as the sobs wracked through her body again, "I didn't want to marry him. I hate myself for doing that...to both of you. I just…" She threw her head back and groaned, "I was so mixed up...and so scared. And he was there...and he kept pushing it...and I just thought…" She sighed sadly and looked back at him, "I thought if I couldn't have the guy I really wanted...I might as well settle and it was the stupidest decision I have ever made."

"But...it's over?" He said as he swallowed nervously, "You and him...it's over?"

She nodded slowly, "It never even started...he knew my heart wasn't in it. And he kept pushing for us to have another ceremony...and I kept putting it off. And then…"

He searched her face for answers, "And then what?"

She sighed and shivered again suddenly feeling the cold rain seep through her skin, "He...found the letter I wrote for you to get joint custody of April…"

He swallowed hard, "Oh…"

"And he knew...he knew that it was more than just a character reference. He knew I wasn't over you...that's why he wasn't at the hospital when my Dad had heart attack. He was angry...and he had every right to be." She said sighing sadly, "I hurt him too...and I hate that. I'm horrible, I-"

Luke shook his head, "Christopher should have known you weren't ready…"

"Maybe…" She sighed again and looked back up at him, "I seem to have a really innate ability to screw my life up Luke."

He snorted, "And I don't? Do we not remember me marrying a woman on a cruise ship for absolutely no reason other than I was drunk and stupid? Or pushing the one good thing in my life as far away as possible? Making her think I didn't love her?"

"Luke…" She said shaking her head, "It's too much...it's all too much. You can't forgive me for what I did. You say you do...but you can't. And I won't let you."

He laughed and crossed his arms over his chest, "You won't let me? I think it's my decision to make Lorelai...and I say I do forgive you."

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and looked at the determined look on his face, "Luke…"

"And I also say that I still love you. And I want this...I want to give this another chance. I hate this awkwardness...and having to wonder when I will see you again. I hate that you can't come into the Diner without feeling uncomfortable. I hate that I can't share things with you...good and bad. I hate that that I caused you pain...more than anything else...I hate that." He reached for her again, "And for once in my life...I'm not just going to give up, okay?"

She stepped away from his touch, "Luke…"

He squinted his eyes at her and sighed, "Fine. If you can tell me right now that you don't feel anything for me...if you can tell me that the song didn't mean anything…" He paused and took a deep breath, "If you can tell me that you will be happy keeping things the way they are...then I'll walk away and go back to being just the guy that pours your coffee."

She stared wide eyed up at him totally in shock by how bold he was being. She watched his eyes study her face, looking for a clue to give him some indication of what she was feeling and thinking. Her mind was screaming at her to tell him how she felt, but the words seemed to be lost somewhere in her throat. And for once...she was speechless.

She watched his shoulders slump, she saw the light leave his eyes. She had seen that look only once before...the day she had told him that she slept with Christopher. The same day he had professed his love for her and agreed to elope if that's what she wanted. It was a look of defeat and sadness that she had hoped she would never see again on his handsome face.

He took a ragged breath, turned on his heel and started walking towards the Diner as the rain fell around him. Lorelai's heart was hammering in her chest as she watched him walk away. Her eyes frantically turned towards the tent where Rory was standing and watching. She seemed to give her a look that said, _"This is it. This is your last chance. Take the jump."  
_  
Suddenly her feet were moving, her hand dropped to her side and the umbrella fell to the ground and began to roll away in the wind. The rain was pouring down on her as she went from a fast walk to a full out run to catch up to him. She grabbed his strong, broad shoulders and whipped him around, she saw the look of confusion and startle in his eyes but she pushed on.

"You were always more than the guy pouring my coffee…" She yelled through the loud rain.

Before he could respond, she had reached up, snaked her arms around his neck and crushed her lips against his. His arms instinctively went around her waist and pulled her as close to him as possible. Their lips slipped against one another due to the rain but she didn't care. She couldn't let him go now…

"Lorelai…" Luke whispered finally coming up for air as he stared at her with a look of desperation on his face.

"You're right. It does matter. It always mattered...and I…" She let her left hand slide from his shoulder to hold his cheek gently, "I do love you Luke. And I am alway going to love you. I know that now…"

He let out a breath he didn't' realize he had been holding, "I…"

"I'm terrified." Lorelai said, she knew she was crying again but the rain hid it well. "I won't be able to handle it again if I lose you…"

He squeezed her hips and pulled her even closer, "You won't."

She grimaced, "You can't guarantee that...we are both stubborn and we don't communicate."

He shook his head, "We will. We have too...it's the only way to make this work." He sighed, "And I need to make this work...no matter what it takes. I can't...I can't live like this anymore."

"Luke…" She whispered softly staring at his chest, afraid to meet his eyes, "This is it, right? I mean...it's always going to be there...this thing between us?"

He nodded slowly, lifted her face to his and pushed her wet curls away, "Lorelai...if it hasn't gone away after everything that has happened in the last year...I know it never will."

She nodded and looked up at him slowly, "You really kept the horoscope?"

He smirked, "Ten years now…"

"Ten years…" She said in disbelief, "A whole decade…"

He nodded and pulled her face closer to his, "Yep. And I'm not going to let another decade pass before we make this official."

She gasped at his words, "What?"

He smirked, "I fully intend to marry you Lorelai Gilmore. Whenever you are ready...and whenever Rory can get back here. We are getting married. Okay? This is it. No more games. No more secrets or being too afraid to talk to each other. This is it...you and me...we got Paul Anka instead of a golden retriever but I guess he'll do." He shrugged and couldn't help but laugh, "And I'll even get matching jogging suits if you want...and we can grow old in them together."

She whimpered as she remembered her words from so long ago, "The whole package…"

He nodded, "The whole package. You and me."

She breathed a sigh of relief and wrapped herself around him again, "Oh thank god you didn't let me walk away again."

He held her as tight as possible and hid his face in her wet hair, "Never again."

She kissed below his ear and nudged his face to meet hers so she could kiss his lips. "Luke…"

"Mmmm…" Luke whispered as he squeezed her hips, "Yes?"

"We're soaked…" She laughed as she finally let the rain register around her, "Completely soaked…"

He smirked and pulled away, her lips were turning blue, "Totally worth it."

"Luke I love you." She said running a finger across his jaw, "God I love you…"

He smiled and brought her hand to his lips, "I love you too. Always have." He said with a shrug.

"Always will?" She asked with a hopeful smile.

"You bet." He said pulling her closer to the Diner, "Get in here before you get pneumonia."

She let him pull her into the Diner but only enough to push her against the door, she reached for him and pulled him back to her. "Luke…" She whispered as his lips instantly found the sensitive spot below her ear. "Thank you for the party…"

He shivered as her hands slid down his back and he pulled away to look her in the eye, "I just like to see you happy…"

She breathed a sigh of relief, "You make me happy…""

"Good." He whispered as he cupped her face, "That's really good."

She felt him tug at her arm and lead her towards the curtain at the back of the Diner, "Where are you taking me?"

He smirked as he looked back at her, "Gotta get you out of those wet clothes so you don't freeze to death."

She smiled slyly at him, "But won't everyone wonder where we are?"

He chuckled and turned back to her, "I think they already know." He paused and lifted her chin with his fingers, "And frankly my dear...I don't give a damn."

Her mouth opened and she gasped, "Did you just use a quote from "Gone with The Wind" to try and seduce me?"

He laughed and reached for her hips again, "I don't know...did it work?"

She smiled, "It did. But for the record...you didn't need it. I would follow you anywhere."

He cupped her face in his hands, "Let me love you…"

She nodded and closed her eyes, "That's all I want...that's all I ever wanted Luke. Now take me upstairs...or lose me forever."

He shook his head, "Definitely not an option." He bent down, lifted her and threw her over his shoulder making her laugh loudly. "Shh…" He said laughing as he climbed the stairs.

"Luke!" She yelled as she slapped his ass.

He grimaced, "Ow!" He said leaning over to bite her behind, "Cut that out."

She laughed all the way to the top of the stairs until he placed her down on the floor in front of his apartment door, "What are you going to do with me?" She whispered in that sexy voice that drove him insane.

He leaned forward and captured her lips in his, "Everything…"

She shivered against him, "God I missed you."

"Lorelai...you have no idea." He sighed as he leaned her further into the wall and nipped at her neck, "I remember it all...it's branded in my memory."

She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, "Oh Luke…"

"I meant it...I will never let you walk away again." He said raining kisses from her neck back to her lips, "I will never let you go...I'll run after you every time."

She nodded, "Well...you were a track star Butch."

He couldn't help but laugh as he placed his head against her forehead, "Lorelai…"

"Would you jump over hurdles for me?" She teased as she tried to slide her hands under his wet flannel shirt, "Throw a javelin?"

"Stop." Luke said pulling away as he laughed deeply, "Trying to be sexy here…"

She wiggled her eyebrows at him, "You in those short shorts back in the day…" She leaned forward and captured his earlobe between her teeth, "Incredibly sexy…"

He groaned as her hands reached for his belt, "Lorelai…" He hissed.

She liked his earlobe to ease the pain of her bite as she undid his belt, "And for the record…I remember it all too."

Luke groaned, pushed her against the wall and crushed his lips to hers. She gasped in surprise and let him lift her quickly, she wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned when his lips began to travel down her neck.

"Oh God…" Lorelai groaned.

"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore!" A voice yelled from the bottom of the stair case.

Luke stilled and Lorelai's eyes snapped open, "What-"

"I know you are up there guys...and I will let you get back too…" She laughed and sighed, "Whatever the hell you're doing that I don't want to think about…but Luke you have to let go of my Mom for just one minute. I need to talk to her…"

Lorelai let her legs slide down his back and tried to stand up quickly, "Rory…" She whispered.

Luke stepped back and tried to gain his composure. "Go…"

She grabbed his hand and stared up at him, "I'll...be right back." She said pointing to the apartment, "Go...I'm coming back."

Luke smiled and lifted his hand to cup her face, "If you don't...I'll come after you."

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him, "Luke…"

"Mom. Downstairs...now!" Rory yelled with a laugh from the bottom of the stairs.

Lorelai let out a shaky breath and pushed him away, "Hold that thought…"

Luke nodded and smirked as she walked on wobbly legs towards the staircase again. He walked back to the apartment and tried to be patient for her to come back. Lorelai practically ran down the stairs and smiled innocently at Rory who was sitting at the counter.

"Hey Kiddo…" Lorelai said with a small smile as she slid onto the stool next to her, "Missed me at the party?"

Rory laughed, "So...is it safe to assume you and Luke are back together? The whole town just saw the makeout session in the rain…very romantic."

Lorelai blushed, "Um...we have have finally pulled our heads out of our asses. Yes."

Rory squealed and threw her hands up, "In the words of Liz...huzzah!" She wrapped her arms tightly around her Mother. "I'm so happy!"

Lorelai held her back, "I'm happy too kid." She pulled away, "And I know you probably have reservations about this…"

Rory shook her head, "I know that things got messed up with you guys before. But...I know you guys love each other. I couldn't stand the idea of leaving tomorrow and you being here...alone. And not just alone...being here and feeling sad about Luke. This is supposed to happen Mom...and I think you guys can really make it work this time."

Lorelai sighed happily, "God I hope so kid. Because...I can't be without him. I know that now."

"Good." Rory said squeezing her Mom's hand, "That's really good Mom."

Lorelai smiled and shrugged as she glanced back towards the stairs, "So…"

Rory smirked, "So…" She paused and reached down for the bag at her feet, "I figured you might want some dry clothes. Thank God you did some shopping for yourself today."

Lorelai smiled, "Thank God indeed…"

Rory nodded, "I give you one hour to make up...and then you BOTH have to come back to the party. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet."

Lorelai sighed and leaned forward to hug her daughter as tight as possible, "Oh hun...I'm not ready either."

Rory pulled away, "Do me a favor?"

Lorelai nodded and watched as she stood up, "Sure, what is it?"

"Ask Luke to open up early for us in the morning? I think I need a Luke fix before I head out into the real world." Rory said with a knowing smile.

Lorelai smiled, "I don't think he will have a problem with that…"

Rory smiled and nodded quickly as she made her way to the door, "Good." She pointed a finger at her and tried to look stern, "One hour."

Lorelai laughed and put a hand over her heart, "One hour."

Rory winked, walked out of the Diner and left Lorelai to watch her walk back to the party. Then she stood up quickly, took the stairs two at a time and threw the apartment door open. She saw him standing by the table with a hopeful expression on his face.

"She gave us one hour before we are expected back." Lorelai said leaning back against the door as she closed it.

Luke's eyebrows raised in question, "One hour?"

Lorelai nodded and started to walk to him again, "One more. Make it count Burger Boy."

She dropped the bag Rory had given her at her feet as Luke closed the gap between them and lifted her up with ease again. He walked them over to the bed and lay her down gently. He had work to do...an only an hour to do it.

* * *

50 minutes later, Lorelai finally pulled herself from the bed and began to go through the bag of clothes Rory had given her.

"Well...guess I'm going commando for the rest of the night." Lorelai said with a laugh.

Luke groaned as he pulled on a new shirt, "Jesus...don't tell me that. Why would you tell me that?"

She laughed and slipped a pair of jeans up over her bare bottom, "Sorry…"

He stared at her for a moment, "So...how are you doing?"

Lorelai smirked and slipped a shirt on over her bare top, "Well...you managed to give me four mind blowing or-"

Luke put his arms over her mouth, "I didn't mean about that. I meant about tomorrow...with Rory leaving. You okay?"

She pulled at her shirt and shrugged, "I'm going to miss her...so much. And I worry about her. And she will be so far away…"

"She knows how to take care of herself. She had a great Mom to teach her everything she needed to know." He said smoothing her hair away from her face.

She smiled and looked down nervously, "And...you'll be there right? Tomorrow...when I get back?"

Luke nodded and leaned forward to kiss her gently, "You bet."

She sighed happily and ran her hands over his chest, "Rory wanted to know if you would open the Diner early for us tomorrow...she said she needs her Luke fix before she leaves."

Luke smiled, "Of course. Gotta feed my best customers."

Lorelai smiled and then leaned forward to hug him tight, "This is real right? We're really here...you're not a mirage?"

He squeezed her tightly, "I'm real. We're real...this is happening."

She nuzzled his neck and breathed him in, "My Luke."

He smiled and pulled her away to cup her face in his hands, "My Lorelai...mine." He whispered as he leaned forward and pecked her lips gently, "All mine…"

She smiled and kissed him again, "All yours." She sighed against him and pushed him back slowly, "Rory is waiting...for both of us."

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "Let's go…"

Lorelai took his hand and started dragging him towards the door. "You know Babette is going to hound us for details. And Patty will expect a play by play."

Luke groaned and let her head him down the stairs, "Great…"

"Should I make a quick drawing for them?" She teased, "I mean that last move you pulled out...that was new and I was very pleasantly surprised."

Luke smirked, "Thought I'd mix it up a bit…"

"Well I loved it." She said with a smile as she walked around the counter, "Feel free to do that again."

Luke paused for a moment, "Hey, wait a minute. I have something for you."

"Didn't you just give me something?" She said with a smirk and she watched him roll his eyes.

"Could you be serious for a moment?" He asked with a laugh, "Just one tiny moment?"

She smiled and nodded, "Yes. I can."

He smirked, and quickly retrieved the necklace that Liz had given him. "I saw this...and it reminded me of you." He said sheepishly, "Of your eyes really…"

Lorelai's hands shook as she reached for the box, "Luke…"

He rubbed the back of his neck suddenly feeling nervous, "If you don't like it...it's okay. I just…" He sighed, "After I heard the song the other night…" He shrugged, "I just...I wanted…"

Lorelai opened the box and gasped, "Oh Luke...it's beautiful."

He let out a shaky breath, "So...you like it?"

She smiled and lifted the necklace out of the box to hand to him, "Put it on me?"

He nodded and she turned her back to him, she gathered her still damp hair in her hand pushed it aside for him. He lifted his hands, and slipped the necklace around her neck and clasped it gently. He ran his hands down her back and kissed the top of her head before pulling her against him.

"I love you Lorelai…" He whispered with such intensity and emotion it sent shivers down her spine.

She touched the necklace and turned to smile at him, "I love you too."

"I'll be better about saying it…" He said tracing her lip with his finger.

"Me too…" She said with a nervous smile, "I didn't realize how nice it is to hear…"

He nodded, "I know...I agree."

She took a deep breath and sighed, "Rory is waiting…"

He nodded and walked her towards the door, "Come on. We have a lifetime to figure this out."

Lorelai smiled and squeezed his hand in hers as the walked, "That's right...you're gonna make an honest woman out of me."

"Damn right I am." He said wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "The sooner the better."

Lorelai wrapped her arm around his waist and let him kiss the top of her head, "Luke...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship…"

He laughed and squeezed her back, "Of all the coffee joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."

She giggled and held him close, "Ah...I like this talking in movie quotes thing. It's fun!"

Luke laughed, "Don't expect me to make it a habit…"

She turned and stepped on her tip toes, "Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time!" She said in a dramatic voice.

"Definitely not the last time…" Luke whispered as he pulled her close and kissed her passionately.

"Hours up!" Rory yelled from the tent as she smirked at them.

Lorelai smirked as she pulled away, "Stay with me?"

Luke nodded as she pulled him back towards the tent, "Nowhere I'd rather be…"

She smiled as she led him back to their friends and family who cheered when they rejoined them. With a lot of hugs and Luke blushing more than usual, they settled back into the party to celebrate all together. And as the night wore on, Luke was never far from Lorelai's side...just the way she wanted it to be. 

* * *

**Hope you liked it! I will try and update soon and I hope I get some more feedback. I already have a few stories in the works and each time I hear a new song I get a new idea! Hope you enjoy :)**


	4. Tenerife Sea

**Hey guys here is the next chapter based on Ed Sheeran's "Tenerife Sea". I heard this song the other day and it immediately reminded me of the dance that Luke and Lorelai shared at Liz's wedding and I wanted to write a a one-shot for it. That is one of my favorite episodes and I love the way it ended, but this is a what could have been if there was more. Hope you enjoy :)**

 **You look so wonderful in your dress**  
 **I love your hair like that**  
 **The way it falls on the side of your neck**  
 **Down your shoulders and back**  
 **We are surrounded by all of these lies**  
 **And people who talk too much**  
 **You got the kind of look in your eyes**  
 **As if no one knows anything but us**  
 **Should this be the last thing I see**  
 **I want you to know it's enough for me**  
 **'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need**  
 **I'm so in love, so in love**  
 **So in love, so in love**  
 **You look so beautiful in this light**  
 **Your silhouette over me**  
 **The way it brings out the blue in your eyes**  
 **Is the Tenerife Sea**  
 **And all of the voices surrounding us here**  
 **They just fade out when you take a breath**  
 **Just say the word and I will disappear**  
 **Into the wilderness**  
 **Should this be the last thing I see**  
 **I want you to know it's enough for me**  
 **'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need**  
 **I'm so in love, so in love**  
 **So in love, so in love**  
 **[6x:]**  
 **Lumière, darling**  
 **Lumière over me**  
 **Should this be the last thing I see**  
 **I want you to know it's enough for me**  
 **'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need**  
 **I'm so in love, so in love**  
 **So in love, love, love, love,**  
 **So in love**  
 **You look so wonderful in your dress**  
 **I love your hair like that**  
 **And in a moment I knew you, best**

* * *

Lorelai spotted Luke among the crowd and slowly wandered towards him. She felt a great sense of guilt for making fun of Jess and the book she had discovered in his bag. Never in a million years did she think that Luke would take it so personally. They usually made fun of that type of thing together. They had been having such a good time, he looked so handsome in his suit and she hated to think she had ruined the night…

"Yeah, I'd love to see you juggle sometime. I'm a big fan of juggling." Luke said to the man before turning nervously to Lorelai. "He, uh - he juggles for money."

Lorelai nodded and pressed on, "You okay?"

Luke nodded quickly before answering, "Yeah, yeah."

She glanced up at him nervously, "We okay?"

He quickly looked away and tried to brush off her question, "Yeah, I-I-I didn't mean to get so defensive."

She sighed and reached out to him, "I didn't mean to make fun of Jess and what he was reading. Maybe it's good that he had it. You know, maybe - he's trying."

Luke shrugged and raised an eyebrow, "It's okay. I mean, that book does sound pretty dorky."

They both glanced away when they heard Kirk speaking to the crowd, "Liz and T.J. wouldst enjoy others to join them in their modest wriggles."

She ignored Kirk's comment, never dreaming that Luke would want to dance, "Oh, hey, so your food's probably cold. You want to go get some more?"

Luke quickly spoke and gestured towards the dance floor, "Sure, or we can...you know."

Her eyes followed his in confusion and asked, "We can...do what?"

She watched him take a deep breath before asking, "You want to dance?"

The shock of his response was evident on his face and she couldn't hide the smile that lit up her face, "Really?"

He gave a casual shrug, "Yeah."

Lorelai felt her heart rate speed up as she tried to understand what was happening, "Um, you said before you don't dance."

He shrugged and kept staring at her, "Well, I'm a compulsive liar."

She glanced over at the dance floor and nodded quickly, "Um, okay, yeah, let's dance."

As quick as a flash, his hand was extended to her and she gladly accepted it. She couldn't hide the smile on her face as he led her towards the dance floor among the other couples dancing. She took a deep breath as he positioned them and began to lead her across the dance floor. A small laugh escaped her lips, she tried to hide it but she couldn't.

Sure Luke had asked her to the wedding, but she never expected this. She never thought of Luke as a dancer. Then again, she was beginning to learn there was a lot she didn't know about him. But as he pulled her closer, she began to realize she wanted to know everything there was to know about him. She wanted to know what he was like as a kid, wanted to know about his parents, what his dreams were and what would make him happy.

She rested her hand on his shoulder and then her chin on her hand and closed her eyes as he continued to guide her. She knew he wouldn't steer her wrong, he never had before. Being there in hisarms made her wonder why she had never taken the time to fully appreciate how handsome he was. Sure she had caught herself staring a million times, but she always pushed those thoughts aside and told herself they were just friends. Best friends.

And being best friends meant they couldn't ever cross that line. Didn't it? Let's face it...most of Lorelai's relationship never ended very well and the idea of breaking up with Luke and losing him forever was too much for her to bear. And yet...being there with him felt so natural and so right. Did that mean her other relationships never ended well because she was supposed to be with this very man holding her?

She was glad he couldn't see her face because she was pretty sure it was bright red as the thoughts swarmed in her mind. The feel of his strong hand on her lower back sent shivers down her spine, and as the song came to an end, he pulled away just enough to look at her and ask, "Are you cold?"

She licked her lips and stared at him nervously, "Um...a little. I'm fine though…"

Luke quickly took his suit jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders, "Here…"

"You don't have too…" Lorelai said as his arms began to rub her shoulders gently.

He shook his head, "I'm fine. Don't want you to be cold…"

Her eyes fluttered up to his and she noticed how intensely he was looking at her, "Thanks…"

He shrugged, "Don't mention it."

She opened her mouth to speak again but was interrupted by Liz walking up to them, "Oh thank God you're still here!"

Lorelai jumped slightly and looked over at Luke's sister, "Hey...you okay?"

"TJ stepped on my dress while we were dancing and it ripped on the bottom. I know you fixed it earlier...but do you think you could take a look at it real quick?" Liz said with a hopeful smile.

Lorelai smiled, glad to have an excuse to get some much needed space between her and Luke to clear her head, "Sure. Yeah...let's go back to Miss Patty's."

"Oh you are a lifesaver!" Liz said as she spun and around to walk across the street to the dance studio.

Lorelai glanced back at Luke and took his jacket off slowly, "Um...I'll be back."

Luke swallowed hard and nodded as he took the jacket from her, "I'll be here…"

She inhaled sharply and looked him straight in the eye and she realized that statement covered more than just waiting for her tonight. He was always there. He was always her rock. Right there when she needed him.

She tried to smile as she turned and walked across the street to meet Liz. She slid the dance studio door open and glanced around until she spotted Liz standing nervously by the table Patty had set up for Liz to use while getting ready.

Liz turned and smiled at her, "Hey, thanks again for doing this! I'm the worst at this kind of stuff."

Lorelai smiled and made her way over to her, "Oh it's no problem at all." She lifted her dress up as she kneeled down beside Liz, "So...where's the rip?"

"Right here." Liz said pointing to the tear in the dress, "I love TJ but he's got two left feet."

Lorelai smiled, "Most men do…"

"You know I haven't seen Luke dance in…" She paused and stifled a laugh, "Actually I'm not sure I've ever seen Luke dance."

Lorelai swallowed hard as she reached for a needle and thread, "Yeah...I had no clue he could dance either."

Liz smiled down at her, "Still just the friend and customer?"

Lorelai's hand slipped and she stabbed herself with the needle, "Ow! Um...what?"

Liz's smile turned to a smirk, "When I first met you...you said you were just the friend and customer. Not the wife."

Lorelai nodded to show she remembered, "Right. Yeah...still just friends."

Liz laughed, "If you say so…"

"Liz...your brother is a great guy. But...we aren't...he doesn't…" She pulled on the thread as she spoke trying to keep her hands from shaking, "We're just friends. Really good friends."

Liz was quiet for a moment before she spoke, "You know I was never a fan of Rachel."

Lorelai's traveled up to her face again, "You weren't? They were together for so long. She seemed nice enough when she was here last...I'm sad she broke his heart again."

Liz shook her head, "Rachel was never right for him. They never really fit. He didn't light up like he does when he's with…"

Lorelai's hand stilled and she glanced up at her again before whispering, "When he's with…?"

Liz shrugged and looked down at her, "When he's with you…"

Lorelai quickly looked away and finished sewing Liz's dress in silence before she put the needle away and stood up. "Well, you're all set. Try and make sure TJ doesn't step on your dress again and you should be fine."

Liz noticed how Lorelai was looking anywhere but at her, "Hey...I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…"

Lorelai glanced at her quickly and then walked over to the table to put the sewing kit back, "Oh no. You didn't."

Liz sighed, "It's just...Luke is my big brother and I love him. I've always...worried about him. I was afraid he would never find anyone to truly make him happy. And I think that-"

"Luke doesn't think of me like that." Lorelai said quickly before glancing back at her, "We're just friends Liz...that's all."

Liz could sense that Lorelai didn't want to talk anymore about this so she just nodded, "Sure. Right. Just friends. Got it."

"I think I'm going to take a walk. Patty's punch has gone straight to my head…" Lorelai said as she walked to the door.

Liz couldn't herself, "Those earrings I made...I told him to give them to Nicole…but he gave them to you."

Lorelai glanced back at her with shock written all over face before she slipped out the door and began to walk down the street in the direction of the lake.

Liz sighed and tried to walk after her, but she knew she better leave her alone. She glanced back at the square where her guests were still celebrating and she knew she had to return. She lifted the hem of her dress and made her way across the street and was immediately met by Luke who glanced behind her.

"Dress all fixed? Where's Lorelai?" He asked glancing around.

Liz grimaced, "Um...she said she needed to take a walk."

Luke's face fell slightly, "Did she look sick or something? She seemed fine before…" Luke watched the way Liz didn't meet his eyes and he sighed, "Liz...what did you do?"

"I just...sort of asked her about your relationship…and I may have told her the truth about the earrings." Liz said with an innocent shrug, "I wanted to know if you were just friends."

Luke sighed, "Aw Liz…"

"I'm sorry! I just...I see the way you look at her Luke. And you don't dance...only someone special would be able to inspire you to dance. You light up when you talk about her! I can see it! Everyone can see it!" Liz said pushing him slightly.

"Liz...it's complicated." Luke said rubbing the back of his neck, "Lorelai and I have been friends for so long and I don't think-"

"Do you have feelings for her?" Liz asked quickly, "As more than friends I mean? Do you want to be more than just her friend?"

Luke sighed and glanced up at his sister, "I think I do…" He laughed to himself before answering again, "I know I do."

Liz squealed with delight, "Then I think you should tell her that!"

"And risk losing our friendship? I don't know...I'm not really her type Liz. We're different…" Luke said trying to think of any reason to think of why it wouldn't work between them.

Liz shrugged, "So what! Look at Mom and Dad! They were total opposites but they made it work. And they loved each other so much."

"Liz…" Luke said feeling his cheeks start to burn, he hated talking about his parents because it brought up to much pain for him.

"Luke...I just want you to be happy." Liz said with a sad sigh, "It's all I've ever wanted. You've spent so much damn time taking care of everyone else...Mom, Dad...me, Jess. Everyone in this town! Now it's your turn to get what you want. To find someone to take care of you…" She reached out to touch his arm gently, "And I think that person could be Lorelai if you let her…"

He swallowed hard and thought back to the tape and the very reason he had asked her to come to the wedding with him, "Did you see where she went?"

Liz smiled, "She looked like she was heading towards the lake…"

Luke nodded and began to walk away before he turned around and kissed Liz's cheek, "Thanks sis."

"Go get her big brother." Liz said pushing him away, "And don't take no for an answer!"

Luke chuckled as he made his way across the street and in the direction of the lake. He had walked this very path more times than he could even remember. But this time it felt different...this time it could either lead him to the future he had been waiting for or complete heart break.

His steps faltered as the thought crossed his mind that she may reject him. There were so many times over the years that he had almost asked her out, almost kissed her, almost admitted how he felt. And every time the idea of losing her in his life stopped him. The fear of rejection and not getting to see her at all was to strong to make him at least try.

He had to admit that the idea of rejection right now was just as painful if not worse than before. But then he thought about what it had felt like to hold her close as they danced. He was pretty sure that his heart had almost leapt out of his chest when she had said yes. And when he pulled her close and felt her skin against his, when he could smell the perfume that alway drove him insane and feel her silky hair, he had wondered why he had waited so damn long to admit she was the one.

With a deep breath, he forced his feet to move again until he reached the lake and the edge of the bridge. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her sitting with her feet dangling over the edge, the moon reflected off her milky skin and she looked more beautiful than ever. He cleared his throat and began to step across the bridge.

Her head jerked up at the sound of his shoes on the wood and she took a deep breath, "Hi…" She whispered.

He stopped near her and put his hands in his pockets, "Hey...mind if I sit?"

She shook her head and grabbed her shoes to move them aside, "No."

He lowered himself down and let his feet dangle over the edge, thankfully they didn't quite hit the water. "Liz said you needed some air…" He smirked, "Told you to slow down on Patty's punch. That stuffs deadly."

Lorelai laughed, "You'd think after all these years I would have learned my lesson."

Luke shrugged, "Don't feel bad. Most of us have fallen prey to Patty's punch before. In fact that was the first taste of alcohol I ever had…"

Her head snapped up as she glanced curiously at him, "Really? I always assumed you snuck some beers at a friends house or something."

Luke shook his head, "Nope. Firelight festival when I was about 16...had my friend Joe distract my Dad and Patty and I filled a water bottle with the punch. We split it up between us back at my house...by the time my Dad came home Joe was passed out and I was puking my guts out."

Lorelai laughed, "Oh no...what a first experience."

Luke laughed, "Yeah...my Dad didn't even yell. The next morning when I thought I was dying...he just sat me down and said, 'Well at least you know to stay away from Patty's Punch from now on…' He slapped me on the back and walked away, to this day I swear I heard him laughing as he left me to puke again."

Lorelai smiled, "I wish I could have met him…he sounds like a hell of a guy."

Luke cleared his throat trying not to get emotional, "Yeah...he was. Best man I ever knew." He paused and glanced over at her, "He would have liked you. Would have thought you were funny and bold. He liked that."

She tried to smile, "Hm…"

"What about you? What was your first drinking experience?" Luke asked giving her a slight nudge.

Lorelai grimaced and looked away from him, "Um...I don't really want to talk about it."

"Oh come on...I told you mine. It can't be that bad…" He said with a shrug, "Tell me."

Lorelai sighed, "Well...I guess I tried wine the first time when I was about...14? Took a sip of my Mom's cup when she wasn't looking…"

He shrugged, "That doesn't really count. I mean when was the first time you got really drunk…"

Lorelai bit her lip and glanced out at the lake, "Um...the night Rory was conceived…" She said with a blush growing in her cheeks.

Luke's face reddened too at the realization, "Oh…"

Lorelai laughed sadly, "Yup...good old Jack Daniels made me forget everything I had learned in sex ed. And nine months later...my life changed completely."

Luke sat quietly for a moment, "Lorelai I didn't mean too-"

She shook her head and touched his arm gently, "It's okay Luke. It is what it is. I don't' regret it...I mean it's not the best story but," She shrugged, "I got Rory out of it...so it was worth it, right?"

Luke glanced over at her and smiled, "You did a hell of a job with her Lorelai. I don't know if I ever told you that...but I admire the way you have taken care of her so selflessly all these years. I don't know how you did it...I wouldn't have been able to do it."

She nodded quickly, "Yes you would have. You're a good man Luke...better than you give yourself credit for. You would have figured it out and taken care of your kid."

Luke was quiet for a moment, "Do you ever wish you had married Christopher?"

Lorelai laughed sadly, "Um...no." She shook her head, "We would have killed each other by now. Or I'd have a drinking problem and he'd have 10 mistresses. Not the kind of life I wanted for Rory...she may have had an unconventional life but I definitely didn't want that for her." She sighed, "I wish he had been there more for her...I know she missed him a lot. I know she wishes she had a better relationship with him...and I hate that I can't fix that for her. But...no. Christopher and I were never meant to be together...it took a while for me to figure that out. But I know now it was never in the cards for us…"

Luke nodded slowly and then glanced over the water, "Can I tell you a secret?"

She let her toes run through the water as she glanced over at her, "Sure."

He took a deep breath and continued to look away from her, "Every time I saw him drive into town on that motorcycle and make promises to Rory and you I knew he would never keep...It took all my strength not to punch him."

Lorelai's mouth hung open, "Why?"

He looked over at her meaningfully, "Because I hated how easy it was for him to hurt you both. He doesn't deserve you...he never did. You deserve so much better. Both of you do. You deserve someone who is going to be there when he promises to be. Someone who is going to take care of you and Rory no matter what."

She swallowed hard and slowly pulled her feet up as she sat cross legged and looked directly at him, "Someone like you?"

He let out a shaky breath, "I would take care of you Lorelai...and Rory."

She nodded slowly as the tears welled in her eyes, "You always have Luke…"

He searched her eyes for a moment before he leaned into her, "Lorelai…" He whispered softly as his lips got closer and closer to hers.

She quickly got her bearings, pulled away and stood up so quick he had to catch himself before he fell into the lake. "I can't do this." He heard her say to no one in particular.

He cleared his throat, shook his head to try and calm himself down before he pulled himself up to face her, "Lorelai…"

She sighed sadly, "Luke you are my best friend in the entire world. I adore you. And I don't know what I would have done without you all these years."

He sighed and stepped closer to her, "You're my best friend too. But...don't they say you should be with your best friend? That person who you feel most comfortable with in the world? That person you trust whole heartedly? Because you're that person for me Lorelai...you always have been."

She looked down, "Luke...you can't possibly want me! I'm everything you hate. I love junk food and coffee. I hate the wilderness and I can't cook to save my life. I'm messy and irrational! I'm stubborn as hell and I have a knack for self destruction like I've never seen. I talk too much and watch too much Television. I don't care about sports and I know absolutely nothing about cars except they get you from point A to point B.I look NOTHING like Rachel or Nicole so-"

"Whoa. Stop." Luke said putting his hand up, "Yeah you're right...you talk way too much. Would you let me say something for once?" He said defensively.

She swallowed hard, "I...I…" She sighed sadly and huffed, "Fine! What do you want to say?"

He smirked at her, "Yes, you love junk food and coffee which drives me insane because I know what it will eventually do to your insides. I wish for once you'd eat a carrot instead of a damn french fry but I enjoy arguing with you about it. I don't care that you don't like camping or cooking because I don't like shopping or having movie marathons. I can be messy and irrational too and just as stubborn as you. We both have a way of self destructing but I think that's because we've never been with the right people."

She whimpered as he stepped closer to her and she stepped back, "Luke…"

"I like that you talk too much. It makes me laugh...and as far as television that doesn't really bother me either. You don't have to like sports, or know anything about cars because I will fix your cars for you just like I fix everything else in your life. And as far as not looking like Rachel or Nicole…" He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, "You are right. You don't look anything like them. You are more beautiful than they ever could be or would be. You're stunning and not just physically...everything about you intrigues me and makes me crazy." He said with a laugh, "And for once...I don't want to pretend that I just want to be your friend. Because I want more than that Lorelai...I want so much more than that."

She stared at him and sighed, "I don't know what to say."

He laughed sadly and shook his head, "It's...fine. You don't have to say anything. I don't know why I thought you'd feel the same way. I just…" He sighed and looked down, "Like I said...I can't pretend anymore…" He stepped back, "I'll leave you alone."

She watched him begin to walk away and her heart jumped in her chest, "Wait!" She moved to walk to him and tripped over her shoes that were in front of her. Luke heard her scream and he spun on his heels and noticed her trying to catch herself. He instinctively reached out and pulled her up before she went face first into the lake.

Her back hit his chest as he steadied her, "Omf." He groaned as she caught her breath he turned her slowly, "Are you okay?"

She stared up at him, her hand was resting on his chest and she couldn't find the words to respond. He knelt down slowly to study her face, confused by her lack of words. Before she knew what she was doing she stood on her tiptoes and crushed her lips against his in a sweet but passionate kiss.

Luke stumbled a little as he tried to steady them both, he moaned into her mouth before she pulled away, "Lorelai…" He whispered.

"You're always there." She whispered feeling the tears burn in her eyes, "You always catch me. You fed Rory...and me. You fixed every square inch of my house and God Luke...you gave me $30,000 just so my dreams could come true."

He studied her face for a moment before licking his lips, "I just...like to see you happy Lorelai."

She took a deep breath, "But...why? Why would you possibly want me? I'm-"

"Don't go into the list again. It won't work. Nothing you say is going to change the way I feel Lorelai." He said stubbornly, "And it drives me crazy when you don't see how amazing you are...how much you deserve."

She swallowed hard, "You never said anything…"

He sighed and stepped away from her, "Because I was to scared. And because the time was never right."

"What do you mean it was never right?" Lorelai asked trying to pull herself together.

"There were so many times I wanted to tell you...to ask you out." He shrugged, "But...there was always someone else."

Lorelai shook her head, "But you loved Rachel...you married Nicole."

Luke laughed, "I didn't love Rachel." He shook his head, "I mean I think I did...at one point. But not when you knew her. She left because she could tell I had feelings for you."

Her eyes widened quickly, "She did?"

He nodded, "I went to your house to tell you...that night she left." He paused, "But then…"

"Max…" She said swallowing hard as she remembered that night, "Oh Luke…"

Luke sighed, "And as far as Nicole…" He rubbed the back of his neck sadly, "I only asked her out when I heard about that Alex guy...that one you were learning to fish for. I think I gave up then...and then everything happened so fast with Nicole."

She stared at him for a moment, "But you married her…"

He nodded slowly, "Yes. I did. And having to tell you I married her was horrifying."

She shook her head, "If you felt something for me...why would you marry her? I wasn't with anyone then…"

He threw his head back and groaned, "Because...I just gave up Lorelai. I didn't think I would have a chance with you. And then you told me to go on the cruise."

"I didn't tell you to go on the cruise...you already had it planned with her." Lorelai said shaking her head.

"I wasn't going to go." Luke said quickly, "But at Rory's graduation, I asked if you thought it was a good idea for me to still go…you said yes."

She looked at him with a confused look on her face, "So...you thought that meant marry her?"

He groaned again, "No! I was stupid and drunk and I kept thinking about you and that damn dream you told me about and the twins. But I made a stupid mistake and I regret it. But I can't take it back."

"But…" She shuffled her feet nervously, "Maybe you don't really feel this way about me. Maybe you just are feeling lonely and sad about Nicole...maybe you just want a rebound."

Luke's eyes widened in shock, "Lorelai...do you really think I'm that type of guy? Do you think I would throw our friendship away just to what...get in your pants?" He scoffed at her, "Because if you do...then you don't know me at all." He started to back away again with a sad expression on his face.

She swallowed hard and called out to him, "I know you aren't that kind of guy…"

He glanced back at her, "Then why would you even say that?"

She tried to keep her tears away as she spoke, "Because I'm afraid to lose you Luke. And being in a relationship with you could make that happen and I couldn't stand that. That summer we spent not speaking was the worst few months of my life Luke. And I can't risk having that again."

Luke sighed and glanced over at the water, "So what do you want me to do Lorelai? Live my life pretending to be someone that I'm not? Pretending not to feel the way I do about you?"

She stepped over her shoes towards him and felt the tears burning in her eyes, "No...I just. I…" She looked down at her hands, "I don't know what to do here Luke. I don't want to hurt you…"

He was quiet for a moment as he contemplated her words, then he looked over at her and took one step towards her. "That night we broke the bells…" He saw nervousness flash across her face, "Why did you get so upset? Why didn't you want me to move?"

"Luke…" She whispered nervously as she glance down, to afraid to look him in the eye.

"Tell me. I deserve that much, don't I?" He asked in a more confident voice.

She looked up and gave in, "Because I didn't want you to leave me. Because I wanted you here...I need you here. I...I need you."

He let out a shaky breath, and took her hand to place it against his chest so she could feel his heartbeat, "I'm here. I've always been here. Even when I was with Nicole...I was here Lorelai. Ask me why…"

She searched his eyes quickly and whispered, "Why?"

"Because I am in love with you." Luke said in a deep, honest voice as he stepped all the way up to her. "Not Rachel...not Nicole or anyone else. I am in love with YOU."

The tears pooled in her eyes and she let out a puff of air, "Wow…"

"You're not a rebound. You're not just some girl I want to sleep with. That isn't me. I want more Lorelai. I want what my parents had...a real relationship with my best friend. That's where I am in this...and if you don't feel the same way." He swallowed the lump in his throat and shrugged as he let go of her hand,"Then I understand...but I needed you to know."

"I think I do…" She whispered, "I mean I think I'm…" He grimaced, "I've never said those words to anyone other than Rory...never to a guy. And I...I know I care about you. I know I feel like we are more than friends...but God it scares me to death Luke."

He nodded, "I can understand that. But you know me Lorelai...you know me. I'd still be here if you said no. I'd still be here if we got together and it didn't work...I'd be right here for you and Rory. No matter what."

She nodded, "I know…"

"Then...give me a chance." Luke said with a hopeful smile, "Just a shot...that's all I'm asking for."

She opened her mouth to speak again but the sounds of a slow song came echoing all the way from the town square, "Will you dance with me?"

He stared at her for a moment, confused by her question. He had just spilled his heart out to her and was waiting for an answer but all she wanted to do was dance. He was beginning to feel defeated until she reached out and took his hand gently in hers and pulled him closer.

"Please Luke...dance with me?" She asked with a nervous smile, "I felt safe when we were dancing...and I'm trying to wrap my head around all of this. I just…" She sighed and pulled his hand again, "I want to feel safe Luke...that's all I ever wanted."

He let his eyes roam over her for a moment, and let the words of the song wash over him. She looked so beautiful in her pink dress, and the flowers in her soft curly hair. He didn't know what was about to happen, but he knew that if this was all he could ever have with her, he would take it. He gave her a slow nod before stepping up to her and put his arms out for her to hold onto as they began to sway to the music.

He pulled her as close as possible, just like he had in the square just a little while ago. He felt her take a deep breath as she rested her chin against his shoulder and let him lead her in the dance on the bridge in the moonlight.

He swallowed hard and tried to ignore the ache in his chest as he wondered just what she was thinking. As if on cue she began to speak to him, "I asked Rory once if it would be okay to date you…"

Luke's steps faltered for a moment but he regained his composure and began to lead her again, "You did?"

She nodded against him, "Yes. Years ago...she said she didn't think it was a good idea."

He pushed her back a little so he could see her face, "Oh…"

"I've always had this rule...that I wouldn't bring anyone into Rory's life if I didn't' see a real future there. I've always been cautious about getting her hopes up." Lorelai said with a nervous smile, "I kind of broke that rule with Max...and even though she handled it well I know it was difficult. She's always wanted a real family…" She swallowed hard, "I know she's not a little kid anymore...but you mean so much to her Luke."

He nodded, "Well I care about her too. She's a great kid…"

"Rory and I…" She swallowed hard and looked down at her hand resting on his chest as they danced, "We're a packaged deal...every decision I make affects her too."

Luke nodded, "I know that."

"It would break her heart if something happened between us...if we didn't…" She said shaking her head afraid to finish her statement.

"I told you I'd still be there...no matter what." Luke said with a serious look on his face, "She won't lose me. And neither will you."

"You can't promise that." Lorelai said shaking her head, "What if I do something so horrible that you can never face me again?"

"Unless you plan to murder someone in my family...I think we'll be okay." He paused and smirked, "But if you want to murder TJ...I'll help you hide the body and thank you endlessly."

She couldn't help but laugh, "Luke...he's not that bad."

"He's a nightmare." Luke said with a groan, "He's crazy…"

"And he loves your sister." Lorelai said squeezing his hand lightly, "He makes her happy...doesn't that make you happy?"

He groaned, "Maybe…"

She smiled at him, "You're insufferable…"

"So are you." Luke said with a smirk, "A guy pours his heart out to you and you ask him to dance?" He said with a laugh trying to break the tension.

She sighed and stopped moving her feet, "Luke…"

He shook his head, "I'm just kidding…"

She took a deep breath and urged him to keep dancing as she rested her chin against his shoulder again, "So...you really...love me?"

He smiled as he held her close and swayed her back and forth again, "Yep. Can't seem to shake it...believe me I've tried."

She held him closer, "See even you know loving me is a bad idea."

He shook his head and squeezed her gently, "No it's not...I just didn't think you'd ever want want me back."

She was quiet for a moment as they continued to dance, "You know...you don't give yourself enough credit either Luke. You're an amazing man...any woman would be luck to have you."

He took that as a hopeful sign, "Hm…"

"That night you told me about Nicole…" She closed her eyes and held him closer, "I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I wouldn't admit to myself that I was jealous...but I was. And then you said you were getting a divorce...and for a moment I could breath. But then...you started dating her again and I was so confused. I couldn't figure out what I wanted…"

He nodded, "Well do you know now?"

She sighed and pulled away to look at him, "I just want to be happy Luke…"

"You know I'd do anything to make you happy." Luke said smiling at her in the moonlight. "Say the word and I'll find a way to make it happen."

"So you'd track down Bono for me?" He started to laugh, "Make him fall in love with me? Or you'd dress up like a mad scientist and let me put on a Halloween show for all the kids in town?"

Luke couldn't stop laughing, "Lorelai…"

"You'd build me a house entirely made of chocolate? Or rob a bank for me?" She said poking his his side gently.

He smiled, "Lorelai come on…"

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder again, "Just wondering…"

He held her close, "I'd take care of you. Help you with the Inn...help with Rory."

"You already do that." She pointed out as she turned her head to rest it in the crook of his neck, "Always have…"

He sighed and began to pull away, "Then do you want to just keep things the way they are? I mean I will...it will be a little awkward. But I will still be here just like I promised."

She stared at him, trying to find the right words, "You..you asked me to give you a chance."

Luke swallowed hard, "I did…"

She smoothed out her dress nervously and nodded, "What would that entail exactly?"

His heart started pounding in his chest, "Um...I mean I guess it would mean us going out on a date?"

She cocked her head to the side, "Was this a date?"

"I…" He paused and rubbed the back of his neck, "Did you want it to be a date?"

Her cheeks flushed, "Well...I did get all dressed up for you. We danced...ate...drank...you admitted your feelings for me and we did kiss."

He swallowed hard, "Yes...we did."

She stepped closer to him, "What would you say if I wanted to kiss you again? Just to...test it out. I mean it was a great kiss before...but a little rushed and I want to...I want more."

He took a shaky breath, "I...I'd be okay with that."

She smiled softly and stepped all the way up to him, she placed a hand on his chest and tried to stand up on her tip toes, "Okay…"

"Okay…" He whispered as her lips got closer and closer.

This time he was ready for her. It wasn't rushed, it wasn't unexpected or awkward. His hands slid around her waist and pulled her close as her arms wrapped around his chest. Their lips met in a tender kiss at first, she pulled away just enough to get her bearings and then she smiled and leaned back in.

He crushed his lips to hers, and she moaned as she felt his tongue trace her bottom lip begging for entrance. She quickly complied and felt her knees begin to go weak, but he caught her just like he always did and held her close. She slid her hand down to his chest and felt the rapid heartbeat under her hands making her melt further into him.

"Oh Luke…" She whispered as she pulled away and smiled up at him lovingly, "That was…"

He smiled at her, and pushed a strand of hair out of her face, "Yes it was... "

"We should have done that a long time ago…" She whispered as she ran her finger along his jaw, "Like a long time ago…"

He took a deep breath, "Lorelai…"

"I...I'm still scared." She whispered slightly, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. "I hate the idea of losing my best friend but…"

He took a deep hopeful breath before squeezing her hips hopefully, "But?"

"But I think I'd be a fool to not give this a chance...us a chance." She said lifting her eyes to meet his, "I know I'd regret it if I didn't."

He let out a puff of air and tried to keep the smile from his face, "So...are you saying?"

She smiled up at him, "When are you free to take me out for our second date?"

His face lit up like a Christmas tree and she couldn't help but laugh, "Tomorrow too soon?"

She smiled, "No...I don't think so. I mean...this has been a long time coming hasn't it? Might as well not waste any more time…"

"Lorelai…" Luke said with such emotion it made her heart melt as he cupped her face in his hands, "God Lorelai...I don't even...are you sure? I mean I'm sure...but I need you to be totally sure here. I don't want to pressure you…"

She shook her head, "Luke...I can't pretend that I haven't thought about this. That I haven't wondered about it...and now that I know how you feel…" She took a deep breath and glanced back up at him as he rubbed her cheeks gently, "I don't want to pretend anymore either…"

He leaned in and kissed her gently, "I meant what I said…"

"Which part?" Lorelai asked as her eyes fluttered open, "About loving me?"

He smiled, "Yes that. But also...that I'll be here no matter what. For you and Rory."

She leaned into him again, "Keep talking like that and I'll have no chance but to fall in love with you Danes…"

He smirked, "I'll keep that in mind."

She smiled and nodded, "Good." She glanced around and held her hand out to him, "Walk me home?"

He smiled at her, "Of course." He let her begin to pull him in the direction of her house but he stopped, "Lorelai?"

She turned back to him and smiled, "Yes?"

"You look beautiful in that dress.." He shrugged, "You always look beautiful but...tonight…" He sighed as he stepped closer and ran a finger through her hair, "And I love your hair like this…"

She sighed happily and leaned up to kiss him again before repeating her words from earlier, "Flattery will get you everywhere my friend…"

Luke chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to kiss the top of her head. When he was preparing for tonight, he had never felt so nervous. He was hopeful, but he never thought the night would end this way. But he was damn glad it did...It felt good to be able to say everything he was feeling. Pretending not to love her was too hard, but being able to show her and tell her felt just right.

* * *

 **So what did you think? I hope you liked it! I think some of you are still interested so I will keep thinking of new one-shots. I'll try and update soon! Thanks!**


	5. Water Under The Bridge

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter based off of Adele's "Water Under The Bridge". In this one shot, Paul Anka helps our favorite couple find their way back to each other and admit that they never stopped loving one another. Hope you like it!**

 **"Water Under The Bridge"**

 **If you're not the one for me**  
 **Then how come I can bring you to your knees**  
 **If you're not the one for me**  
 **Why do I hate the idea of being free?**  
 **And if I'm not the one for you**  
 **You've gotta stop holding me the way you do**  
 **Oh honey if I'm not the one for you**  
 **Why have we been through what we have been through**  
 **It's so cold out here in your wilderness**  
 **I want you to be my keeper**  
 **But not if you are so reckless**  
 **If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently**  
 **Don't pretend that you don't want me**  
 **Our love ain't water under the bridge**  
 **If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently**  
 **Don't pretend that you don't want me**  
 **Our love ain't water under the bridge**  
 **Say that our love ain't water under the bridge**  
 **What are you waiting for?**  
 **You never seem to make it through the door**  
 **And who are you hiding from?**  
 **It ain't no life to live like you're on the run**  
 **Have I ever asked for much?**  
 **The only thing that I want is your love**  
 **If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently**  
 **Don't pretend that you don't want me**  
 **Our love ain't water under the bridge**  
 **If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently**  
 **Don't pretend that you don't want me**  
 **Our love ain't water under the bridge**  
 **Say that our love ain't water under the bridge**  
 **It's so cold in your wilderness**  
 **I want you to be my keeper**  
 **But not if you are so reckless**  
 **If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently**  
 **Don't pretend that you don't want me**  
 **Our love ain't water under the bridge**  
 **If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently**  
 **Don't pretend that you don't want me**  
 **Our love ain't water under the bridge**  
 **Say it ain't so, say it ain't so**  
 **Say it ain't so, say it ain't so**  
 **Say it ain't so, say it ain't so**  
 **Say it ain't so, say it ain't so**  
 **Say that our love ain't water under the bridge**

* * *

Lorelai pulled into the driveway late one night after another long day of work. It was crazy to think it had almost been a full year since the night she gave Luke the ultimatum. So much had happened, so many things were said and done that she wished she could take back. She had married Christopher on a whim to try and erase the pain of losing Luke. Instead it only made her pain worse.

Most days it was hard to get out of bed and face the day. Today was one of those days when she wanted to pull the blanket up over her head and hide for the entire day. But she remembered she had to look strong for everyone else. So she had pulled herself together, plastered a smile on her face and went to work.

As she parked the car, she sat for a moment staring at the house she had assumed she would live in forever with Luke. But now...she was alone. Except for Paul Anka. She took a deep breath, and pulled herself out of the car to go and let Paul Anka out. But as soon as she walked into the house, she knew something was off.

Paul Anka usually greeted her at the door, but he didn't. She placed her bag down on the ground, walked into the living room and looked in the usual spots for him. But instead of finding him asleep, she noticed the screen in the window was pushed out.

"Damn it!" Lorelai yelled as she went and grabbed her bag again and dashed out the front door.

First she ran to Babette and Morey's and began banging her hand on their door, Babette opened it in a frenzy, "Lorelai? What is it?"

"Have you seen Paul Anka? He pushed the screen out in the living room window." Lorelai said in a panicked voice.

"Oh no." She looked behind her, "Morey! We gotta help Lorelai find Paul Anka! Come on!"

"Thank you!" Lorelai said, "Call me if you seen or hear anything. I'm going to head into town."

"We will try around the lake." Morey yelled as they grabbed his jacket and followed Babette out the door.

Lorelai turned on her heel and started making her way towards town, "Paul Anka!" She yelled, "Come on Paul Anka!"

She felt tears brimming in her eyes. He may have only been a dog, but lately he was her best friend and the one thing keeping her from totally falling apart. She tried to take large deep breaths to keep herself calm as her eyes searched frantically from side to side. She couldn't lose this dog...that would be the final straw.

* * *

At the Diner, Luke was closing up because it had been a pretty slow night. He sighed as he wiped down the counter, he wondered how many times he had done this very activity. In these moments of quiet, he couldn't help his mind wandering to what could have been. What would have happened if he had said yes to Lorelai's ultimatum?

Where would they be now? Well for one they would be married...would they have a baby? How different he would feel if that was his life...how happy he would be compared to what he felt now. All he felt now was regret and numbness. He missed her more than he thought it was possible to ever miss someone.

The only thing that kept him going most days was April. And even that was hard because he couldn't see her everyday. Now that she was in New Mexico, he felt like he lived phone call to phone call. But as soon as the conversation ended, the dark could went right back over his head and he fell back into his depression. He wasn't sure how much more he could take…

With a heavy sigh, he threw the towel down on the counter and dared to glance up. Much to his surprise, there was something sitting outside the front door of the Diner.

Paul Anka.

Lorelai's psychotic dog that he hated to admit he missed. He curiously walked around the counter and unlocked the Diner door. Paul Anka immediately ran into the Diner and started running circles around his legs.

"Uh...hey." Luke said awkwardly as he leaned down to pet him. "What are you doing here?" He looked outside again to see if Lorelai was near by (in some ways he was hoping to see her).

Sadly he didn't see her anywhere. He glanced back at Paul Anka who was now sitting in front of him wagging his tail hopefully. Luke sighed and reached into his back pocket to get his cell phone. He held it for a moment, he had deleted her cell number months ago. But he would be lying if he said he didn't know it by heart.

He took a nervous breath and dialed those familiar numbers…

Lorelai was passing Patty's dance studio becoming more frantic by the moment when she wasn't finding Paul Anka.

"Come on buddy...don't' do this to me!" She said as the tears sprung into her eyes again.

She was looking in some bushes when her phone rang and she picked it up without looking at the ID, "Babette? Did you find him?"

 _"Uh...hi Lorelai. It's actually Luke…" He said awkwardly._

She stopped dead in her tracks, "I-I-Luke?"

 _She heard him clear his throat, "Uh yeah...I'm assuming you're looking for Paul Anka?"_

"Yes! How did you know he was lost?" Lorelai said as she continued to glance around.

 _"Because he's here at the Diner…" He said flatly._

"He's at the Diner?" Lorelai asked as she put a hand over her heart, "He went to the Diner?"

 _"Yeah...do you want me to bring him home?" Luke asked, as soon as the words came out of his mouth he went into slight panic mode._

"I'm right outside of Patty's studio. I'll be there in a minute." She said hanging up the phone and picking up her pace to get to the Diner as fast as possible."

At the Diner, Luke awkwardly shut the phone and looked back at Paul Anka who was staring directly at him. He took a deep breath and glanced around nervously. She was coming here...she hadn't stepped foot in the Diner in months. He had seen her from time to time but she had never been here since...since that night that he hated to think about.

Before he knew it, he saw her running towards the door, he opened it quickly to let her in, "Hey…"

"Hey!" Lorelai said to him before leaning down to the floor, "God...Paul Anka! Don't scare me like that!" She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"How'd he get loose?" Luke asked curiously.

She gave out a small laugh as she pulled away to answer him, she continued to pet Paul Anka unable to look Luke in the eye yet. "Well...turns out he's an escape artist. He pushed the screen out in one of the downstairs windows."

"You're kidding?" Luke asked in surprise as he stared down at her.

She glanced up at him nervously and then back at Paul Anka, "I know...shocked the hell out of me too." She sighed and ruffled his fur, "Guess I'll have to get a AC unit for the summer...no more escaping for you mister."

Paul Anka kissed her face and Luke smiled, "He's more affectionate now…"

Lorelai blushed, "Yeah...he's gotten more used to me I think. He's my…" She paused and decided to stand up, "Um...thanks for calling."

Luke hadn't missed how she had stopped herself mid sentence, "Yeah...no problem." He paused and rubbed his neck nervously, "He's your...what?"

She cleared her throat, "Oh well…" She smiled and reached out to Paul Anka who nudged her hand with his nose, "He's my best friend…"

Luke swallowed hard, there was once a time when he was considered her best friend. But that was long, long ago.

"Yeah...well they say that about dogs, don't they?" He whispered.

She tried to smile. "I guess they do…"

Luke nodded, "Um...so you'll have to get that screen fixed. Or well a new one probably…"

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah...I will." She glanced around, "I should...get him home. Thank you so much for calling...I was worried sick."

Luke shook his head, "Yeah of course."

She looked down at Paul Anka, "Okay bud...let's get you home." She stopped for a moment and sighed, "Shoot...I ran out of the house so fast I didn't grab his leash. Crap. Um…" She glanced up at Luke, "Would...would it be okay if I run home to get it and come back? I know that's asking a lot but-"

"I uh...I have one here actually." He said as the blush grew in his cheek, "One of his old ones…"

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Oh...really?"

He shrugged, "It just never crossed my mind to get rid of it…"

She took a deep breath and nodded, "Sure. Right. Um...well you don't mind if I take it?"

Luke shook his head, "I don't really need it…"

She felt the tears burning in her eyes and she nodded, "Right. Sure. Okay...that would be great."

Luke nodded slowly and turned on his heel and walked behind the counter and through the curtain to the hooks where Paul Anka's leash had stayed for months. He took a deep breath as he took it off the hook and wondered why he had kept it after all this time. He walked with it back to Lorelai and awkwardly handed it to her.

"Here…" Luke said holding it out to her.

Lorelai couldn't help but smile as she looked at it, "Oh right...I forgot I bought you this." The leash read 'Daddy loves me!' Over and over again.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Uh yeah…"

She took a deep breath, hooked the leash on Paul Anka's collar and and stepped back slightly. "Right well...thanks again. I'll uh...get out of your way." She started to pull Paul Anka but he stubbornly lay down on the ground. "Paul Anka...come on." She tugged again but Paul Anka rolled onto his side. "Um…"

Luke sighed, "Told you he was a messed up Dog."

She glared at him, "He's just...different." She licked her lips nervously and pulled at his leash, "Come on buddy...we gotta go home."

Paul Anka only whined and turned his head towards Luke, "Why's he looking at me?" Luke asked as he pointed to his chest.

"Paul Anka…" Lorelai said pulling at his leash again, "It's time to go."

Paul Anka stood up, and walked towards Luke before laying down again with his head on his shoes. "What's he doing?"

Lorelai licked her lips, "I...I don't know. He's never…"

Luke sighed, "Come on Paul Anka...you gotta go…" Luke said stepping back and away from the dog, "Dog's aren't meant to be in Diners…"

Lorelai knelt down and pulled on his collar, "Come on bud...I'll give you a giant cookie at home!"

Paul Anka whined harder and lifted his paw to scratch at Luke's leg. Lorelai swallowed hard and glanced up at Luke who looked both confused and annoyed.

Luke sighed, "Fine." He grabbed Paul Anka's leash which made the dog stand up quickly and wag his tail.

Lorelai stared at him in shock, "What are you doing?"

"If he won't leave without me, I'll walk you guys home." Luke said as he led Paul Anka out the door, he stood on the stoop and looked over at Lorelai quickly, "Are you coming? I need to lock up."

She swallowed nervously and scurried out of the door trying to wrap her head around what was happening, "You...you don't have to do this…"

Luke scoffed, "He's not staying here. Let's go." He grumbled as his feet began to move in the direction of Lorelai's house, what would have been his house at one point.

Lorelai quickly followed him feeling anxious and uncomfortable, "It's not my fault…"

"You should keep a better eye on him." Luke said angrily as they walked.

Lorelai tried to keep up with his fast pace, "I was at work! How was I supposed to know he would push the screen out?"

"Put him in Kirk's doggy daycare or something. It's an inconvenience for people to have to find him." Luke said glancing over his shoulder at her.

She swallowed hard, "You don't have to be so mean…"

Luke stopped walking so fast and sighed, "Sorry…"

She was finally at his side and they walked in silence the rest of the way to her house. In the lead, Paul Anka walked with a trot in his step as if this was exactly what he had wanted to happen. Lorelai knew that he had missed Luke...he often sat near Luke's usual sitting spots in the house. And some nights he stayed by the door as if he was waiting for him to walk through the door.

He had never taken a liking to Christopher. Not the way he liked Luke. She never thought about how confusing it must have been for Paul Anka when Luke was there one minute and gone the next. You couldn't explain to a dog what a break up meant. He just thought that Luke at some point would come back.

And tonight he had run away, she wondered if he had gone somewhere else before the Diner. Deep down she knew he hadn't...he must have gone straight there because he was tired of waiting for Luke to come to him.

As they made their way to the front steps, Lorelai's heart was pounding in her chest. She was pretty sure that the last time he was here...he was standing on her lawn expressing his love for her. And she had told him she had slept with Christopher. He had turned and fled without another word, and after that she boxed up his things and Sookie had dropped them off at the Diner for him.

And now here they were, almost a year later walking her crazy dog back home. Luke stopped a few feet from the bottom step and awkwardly looked at Lorelai. "Okay...you're home." He handed the leash to Lorelai and stepped back, "Keep your windows shut from now on."

He turned to walk away but Paul Anka started barking, "Paul Anka…" Lorelai said as her cheeks turned red.

Luke sighed and turned towards him, "What's wrong with him?"

Lorelai felt tears burning in her eyes, "Nothing." She leaned down and picked the dog up quickly. "You know him...he's just odd." She started to walk up the stairs and towards the door. "Thanks for getting us back."

Paul Anka started barking louder, "Seriously...what is it?"

Lorelai was struggling to hold him up because he was wiggling in her arms, she huffed and Paul Anka leapt from her arms. "Paul Anka!"

Luke knelt down as the dog ran straight at him, "What does he want?"

Lorelai swallowed hard and looked down at her feet nervously, "I...I think he wants you…"

Luke's head snapped up towards her, "Me? What do you mean me?"

She sighed and put her hands in her back pockets, "He...he misses you Luke. He doesn't understand why you aren't around anymore."

Luke glanced back at Paul Anka who was sitting at his feet again and wagging his tail, he sighed and rubbed him behind the ears. "Yeah...I guess I didn't think about that…"

"Neither did I…" Lorelai whispered sadly, "It was kind of the last thing on my mind…"

Luke nodded as he continued to run behind his ears, "Me too…"

She sighed and stepped down the stairs again, "If you can just get him inside...I'm sure he'll calm down eventually."

Luke looked back up at her and took her appearance in for the first time in almost a year. Sure he had seen her, but he often did his best not to look to hard and for too long. It hurt to much. Of course that didn't mean he wasn't aware of how beautiful she was...her image was branded into his memory. Every night when he closed his eyes...there she was. There was really no escaping…

Luke looked back at Paul Anka, "I'm sorry buddy...but I gotta go." Paul Anka whined up at him and nudged Luke's arm with his nose, he sighed. "I don't want him to run away again...I know that will scare you."

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at the night sky, "He misses you…"

Luke swallowed hard at her words, "Lorelai…"

She let the tears begin to fall, as she lowered her head to to look at him as she spoke honestly. "I miss you…"

Luke stood up, but he didn't dare to look at her. He kept his eyes right on Paul Anka who stayed at his side. "Lorelai I...I don't know what to say."

She whimpered, "I don't have the right to ask...but I just…" She sniffled and wiped at her eyes, "Do you miss me...at all? Did you really mean it when you said you weren't hung up on it? Did I not mean anything to you at all? Because that kills me Luke...to think that we meant so little to you when it meant everything to me."

He sighed and shook his head, "I didn't mean any of those things I said…" He said as he finally glanced up at her, "You know you meant the world to me...I didn't show that enough at the end. I should have…" He smiled sadly, "I should've tried harder…"

She let out a desperate breath, "Luke…"

He took a deep breath, "I heard...that…" He paused and grimaced, "He...moved out."

Lorelai stepped back nervously at his words, "Yes…"

Luke nodded, "Why?"

She let out a shaky breath, "Because we realized we made a huge mistake. I never wanted to marry him...but I was lonely and sad. And he was there...and telling me he loved me and he would take care of me and I jumped because I thought it would make the pain of losing you go away."

"But...it didn't?" Luke asked as he glanced down at his feet which Paul Anka was now resting his head on.

She laughed, "God no...if anything it made it worse."

"Was that the only reason he left? Because he knew it wasn't working?" Luke asked, he was surprised Christopher had given up so easily.

Her face flushed and she bit her lip before responding, "He...found the letter I wrote for your custody case with April." Luke's head snapped up and he was shocked by her words, "He...he said I wasn't over you."

Luke swallowed hard, "I'm sorry…"

She smirked at him, "No you aren't. And you shouldn't be…"

Luke couldn't help but smile, "You're right...I'm not sorry." He paused before speaking again, "But...I do want you to be happy. If he made you happy...I'm sorry it didn't work."

She sighed sadly, "Oh Luke...he never made me happy. Never has and never will."

He took a shaky breath, "Did...did I make you happy?"

She looked down and let the tears fall again, "Yes...in the beginning you made me happier than I ever had been Luke…"

He grimaced, "And then…?"

She sighed and suddenly felt weak, this was not how she was expecting her night to go. She sat down slowly and sank to the top step of the porch. He watched her study her hands, he could tell that she was contemplating her words carefully and he let her take her time.

Finally she began to speak, "Somewhere along the line...I guess around the time you met April…" She licked her lips nervously, "You forgot about me…forgot about us. And I wanted you to be happy...I knew how important it was for you to get to know April. So I stepped back...I wanted you to have that relationship with her because you deserve it. I HATE that Anna kept her from you for so long…" She looked up at him with tears pouring down her cheeks, "You didn't deserve that Luke...you're such a good man. And you…" She looked down and her hands trembled, "You were my good man...you were going to be my husband. And I felt so happy knowing we were engaged...and I was so afraid to lose you...so I smiled and let you think I was okay. And then...it just started getting harder and I felt so helpless. I felt you pulling away from me...I felt like you didn't want me anymore. And I didn't know what to do...I was so frantic. And then I just...I snapped Luke. I needed to know you wanted me...that you still loved me. And that's why I went to you that night...I know I handled it wrong." She wiped at her eyes, "I handled all of it wrong. And I hate myself for it...but I lost all control Luke. I wasn't me anymore…"

Luke's heart was racing as he listened to her words, he knew that he had contributed to their break up. But to hear how much he had hurt her was one of the worst feelings he had ever experienced. For years...he had watched her be hurt a million times and he hated all those people who had hurt her. He had always sworn that if he had the chance to be with her...he would never hurt her.

And yet here they were...he had hurt her more than any other man ever had.

"God Lorelai…" Luke said as he stepped closer to her and sat beside her on the porch, "I just...I don't know how I ever let this happen to us…"

"You didn't force me to go to Christopher that night…" Lorelai said suddenly feeling the need to protect him.

Luke shook his head, "No. Maybe not...but I pushed you to that point. You wouldn't have gone there if you weren't so upset…"

She licked her lips and wiped at her eyes, "I wanted to be your wife Luke...so much."

He closed his eyes and nodded, "I know...and I wanted that too."

They sat quietly for a few moments just letting the words they had shared sink in. They had spent so much time avoiding each other in the last year, and even at the end of their relationship because it was easier than facing things head on. And yet here they were...admitting that they had both made mistakes.

Paul Anka stood up and walked towards Luke, he placed his head on Luke's knee and whimpered, "I don't think he's going to let me go again…" Luke whispered.

She laughed sadly, "He's a smart guy…"

Luke glanced over at her again, "Lorelai…"

She took a shaky breath and turned her body towards him, "This is going to sound insane but I have to say it or I will regret it. Do you think...you could ever forgive me? Do you think you could ever want me again? Love me again?"

He sighed and glanced down at Paul Anka, "Lorelai…"

She shook her head, "I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say...I know it's impossible." She stood up quickly, scooped up Paul Anka and held him tight as he wiggled in her arms and she made it to the door.

"I think I forgave you a long time ago…" Luke whispered from his spot on the steps. "But I don't think I've forgiven myself quite yet…"

Lorelai stopped, placed Paul Anka down who immediately ran to Luke again and barked at him. She swallowed hard and leaned against the door and tried to control her breathing. She waited for him to speak again.

She watched him pet Paul Anka before standing up and turning to look at her again, "I spent 8 years thinking about what it would be like to be with you. I told myself if I had the chance...I'd do everything I could to keep you. And time and time again I failed you…"

"Luke…" Lorelai said sadly as tried to keep herself standing up right.

"In our first break up…" He laughed sadly, "Lorelai I didn't even realize we broke up. I didn't mean we were breaking up at Doose's...I just got stuck in my head and I said that I didn't want to be in the relationship. I didn't know you took that as us breaking up...but then I came here after you called and you called me your ex-boyfriend. I should have argued that...I should have corrected you but I didn't because I was stubborn and stupid. And I let us go weeks without speaking...and even when we got back together I still did it wrong. I did it all wrong...I didn't tell you what you meant to me. I just assumed you knew…"

"We both made mistakes…" Lorelai said as her heart pounded in her chest, "We both hurt each other…"

Luke nodded, "You were the only thing I ever wanted Lorelai...and I just let you walk away."

She whimpered again, "Why did you walk away that night? Why didn't you come after me?"

He sighed, "Because I didn't see how bad you were hurting. I should have...I knew you were feeling insecure in Martha's Vineyard but I couldn't wrap my head around everything. Learning about April through me for a loop...and I used her to push you away because I was feeling insecure. But it was never about you...I never stopped loving you. I was mad at myself...I felt this sense of failure knowing I had a kid for 12 years and wasn't around."

"That wasn't your choice Luke…" Lorelai said as she stepped away from the door. "You would have been there for April if you had known she was out there. I know you would have. You're' a good man."

"How can you say I'm a good man after the way I treated you? I was so mad at you when you told me about Christopher...it was so easy to blame it all on you. But you're' right...I pushed you away. I panicked...so much was happening and I wasn't sure how to process it. But I should have held onto you Lorelai...I should have pulled you closer instead of pushing you away." He said stepping up the first step.

"God I wish you had…" She cried as she felt her skin began to burn the closer he got. "I wanted to help. I wanted to be there for you...I would have done anything Luke."

He nodded as he continued to walk towards her, "I know that…"

She swallowed hard as he got closer and closer, "What are you doing?"

"I miss you too." Luke said as he stepped all the way in front of her, "I miss you in ways I didn't think it was possible to miss someone. I'm not even really living anymore...I'm just existing. You make everything brighter...you make everything better...and it's like my life is black and white now. It's grey...there's nothing there for me."

She felt her hands shake and she flattened them on the door behind her, "You have April."

He nodded, "I know...but she's in New Mexico. I live phone call to phone call...that's not enough Lorelai. I want more…"

She bit her lip as she began to smell the familiar mixture of his cologne, french fries and a faint taste of sweat. "Luke…"

"So to answer your questions...yes I could forgive you. I did forgive you months ago. Could I ever want you…" He smirked, "I've always wanted you."

She shook her head quickly, "Luke...don't…"

"And could I ever love you again?" He smiled and let out a slow breath as he inched even closer to her. "I never stopped." He whispered in that husky voice that drove her crazy.

"Lu-" She started to speak but his lips crashed against hers making it impossible to finish her sentence, she moaned into his mouth and felt her knees go weak and she stumbled.

He gripped her hips and pulled her against him as tight as he possibly could without crushing her. But even that wasn't enough, he wanted to become a part of her. Mind body and soul and he swore he would never let her go again in that moment.

"Lorelai?" A voice called from behind them.

Luke pulled away in time to see Babette and Morey standing on the lawn staring at them in shock. Lorelai fell against the door, her mind was running a mile a minute and she couldn't seem to find the the right words because she she suddenly forgot how to even speak. Lucky for her, Luke turned and stared at her neighbors as he cleared his throat nervously.

"Oh...uh...hi Babette...Morey." Luke said rubbing the back of his neck, "We uh...found Paul Anka. You guys can go home now…"

Babette smirked and nudged Morey, "Did you hear that Morey? He said 'we'!"

Morey nodded, "I heard...you better go call Patty."

"I'm on it!" Babette said as she ran towards the house with Morey in tow.

Luke chuckled to himself as he turned back to Lorelai who was still standing against the door, she looked shell shocked. He waited for a few moments expecting her to say something to him. But when she didn't...he began to get nervous.

"Lorelai…" Luke whispered as he stepped closer to him.

"No." Lorelai said putting her hand up in front of her, "Don't…" She shook her head adamantly, "You can't kiss me again."

He stopped and stared at her in confusion, "What?"

She shook her head again, "You can't let me fall for you...you can't make me think we have a chance. Because I can't handle it Luke. I'm barely holding on as it is...when you change your mind again it would kill me. Don't do this…"

Luke sighed and tried to reach her for her hand, "Lorelai…I-"

"We can't change everything that happened. And nothing has changed…" Lorelai said sadly.

Luke scoffed, "Everything has changed."

"How?" Lorelai asked, "You still have April...I can't live a life where when she's around I can't see her or you...I won't do that Luke. It's not fair. And I still married Christopher...I betrayed you."

"I told you I forgave you for that. It wasn't all your fault." Luke said shaking his head, "And as far as April goes…" He sighed, "I did it all wrong before...and if it wasn't for you I would have no rights to even see her. I'll find a way to balance that...because I can't do this anymore Lorelai. I can't live this way…"

She stared to cry harder, "It's not that simple."

"I don't think your crazy dog is going to let me leave again...so it might have to be…" He teased as he looked back at Paul Anka who was looking at them hopefully.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Luke…"

"And Babete has already told Patty at this point who has filled in the rest of the phone tree...we can't play with their emotions like this." He said with a smile.

"You can't play with my emotions like this!" Lorelai said putting a hand on her heart. "It isn't fair!"

"Tell me it's over." Luke said staring right at her, "Tell me you feel nothing...that you don't wish we could start over."

"I…" She grimaced and shook her head, "I…" She huffed, "That's not the point!"

"You can't say it." Luke said pointing a finger at her, "Say it and I'll leave."

She glared at him, "Luke answer me this...if Paul Anka hadn't run to the Diner tonight...would you be here telling me all this? Would you be here at all? Would you have ever come to me?"

Luke's smile faltered and he stepped back, "Lorelai…"

She smirked, "See...you wouldn't have. You waited 8 years to ask me out in the first place. How long did you think I'd wait to marry you?"

He groaned and rubbed the back of her neck, "Lorelai I have a hard time with this stuff."

"I understand that Luke...but I can't be with a man who can't tell me how he feels. I need the words." She said desperately. "And you can't give that to me…"

He stared at her for a moment and then sighed, "I love you Lorelai. I've always loved you…" He shrugged, "I just thought you knew that…"

She sighed, "No. I didn't. Not really…"

"Is it over?" He asked staring at her, "Us...is it really over?"

"I wish it wasn't…" Lorelai said with a soft whimper, "God I wish it wasn't…"

"Then that means something." Luke said stepping closer to her, "I've broken up with people before Lorelai...and after a month or two those feelings went away. But that hasn't happened...it hasn't gotten easier...it's only gotten harder."

She looked down between them and sighed, "I don't know what to do…"

He reached for her hand, "Tell me what to do and I'll do it…"

She smiled sadly at him, "It's not that simple Luke...we can't fix this overnight. And I can't be afraid that you will shut me out if it gets hard. And I can't be afraid that I'll run away if you do."

"I won't let you run away again Lorelai." Luke said squeezing her hand in his. "Never. That was the stupidest mistake I have ever made."

"I wish I didn't love you so damn much…" She cried as she held onto his hand.

"Tell me to go and I will. But I'll come back tomorrow and the next day because you can't tell me it's over. And even if you do I won't believe you. You've said the words and so have I. And it feels good Lorelai...it feels so good to finally stop pretending." He said with a hopeful smile. "It's not over…"

She whimpered as he got closer, "It's not over. It was never over...was it?"

He shook his head, "No...it wasn't."

She took a deep breath and then buried her face in the crook of his neck. She started to cry harder than she had all night and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Holding her made sense. It felt right. And slowly those broken little pieces of his heart were moving back into place.

"Luke...Oh God Luke…" She cried into his chest, "I'm so sorry."

He squeezed her and kissed the side of her head, "I am too. More than you'll ever know."

Paul Anka started barking and he ran up the stairs and jumped up to reach them. Luke laughed as he pulled away just enough to see Paul Anka but not enough to let her go. Lorelai smiled and leaned down to pet him, "Someone's happy…"

Luke squeezed her hips, "He's not the only one…"

She swallowed hard and dared to glance back up at him, "What are we going to do?"

He sighed and pushed her hair out of her face, "We're going to work on this. And it won't be easy...but we have to do it."

"We have to do it?" She said with a teasing smile.

Luke smirked at her, "Yes. Because I refuse to go back to what my life has been in the last few months. I want this. I want you. I want us. Plain and simple. And if I have to suck up my pride and really talk...then I'm going to try. And when I clam up again...remind me about what I'm going to lose."

"How am I supposed to do that?" She said with a laugh.

Luke opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted, "Oh we'll remind him for you dear!" Someone called from behind them.

Luke and Lorelai quickly turned to see half the town standing out front of her house. "Oh my God…" Lorelai said with a laugh as she put a hand over her mouth.

Kirk wiped at his eyes, "Thank goodness...I have been so lost since you two broke up. It didn't make sense!"

Taylor sighed, "I was going to talk to you soon Luke because you agreed to leave town if you two really broke up. It was getting too complicated!"

Lorelai squeezed Luke tight to her, "No. He's not going anywhere."

Patty smirked, "You better hold onto him this time honey...because if you don't I'll be taking over for you."

Lorelai laughed as she placed her head against his shoulder, "Hands off Patty!"

Luke groaned, "You're all nuts, you know that? Certifiable! You got a phone call and came running down here in the middle of the night?"

"We had to see if Babette was telling the truth!" Andrew yelled, "You two have been avoiding each other like the black plague."

"Yeah...and we needed photographic evidence." Gypsy said as she lifted her camera and took a picture, "I'll mail it to Rory in the morning!"

Lorelai laughed harder as Luke grumbled, "This town…"

"Is our town...this town is so glamourous…" Lorelai teased as she poked his sides.

"Lorelai if you are late to work in the morning…or you just don't feel like coming in at all..." Sookie winked at her awkwardly, "I'll know why and don't you worry about it! I'll cover with Michel."

"Oh dear God…" Luke said as he threw his head back.

"And we can go without the Diner for a day Luke!" Patty called out to him, "Stay in bed! Make up for lost time!"

"Luke…" Lorelai said as she leaned up to his ear, "Take me inside now…"

"They'll never leave…" Luke said laughing as he pointed towards them on the lawn.

Lorelai smirked, "If I promise to give you a play by play at the next town meeting will you all go home?"

"Lorelai!" Luke yelled but couldn't help but continue to laugh.

"There better be really good details sugah!" Babette called from her front porch.

"I'll draw pictures!" Lorelai yelled back as she opened the door, "Goodnight everyone!"

"Goodnight!" They all called back as the dispersed across the lawn.

Lorelai yanked Luke into the house and Paul Anka ran in behind them. She couldn't control her laughter but Luke stood behind her trying to look stern and angry. But her laughter was contagious, he had missed it so damn much that his neighbor's insanity didn't phase him in the least.

He stepped closer, and pulled her flush against his body and breathed her in again, "God I missed you...you have no idea."

Her laughter turned to tears as she clung to him, "I think I have a pretty good idea mister…"

He pulled away to look at her, "We're going to fix this…"

Lorelai smiled and nodded her head slowly, "Promise?"

He nodded and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, "I promise."

She leaned up to kiss him on the lips but before they could kiss Paul Anka barked loudly behind them. They both turned slowly to look at the dog who was running in circles near them.

"What the hell is he doing?" Luke said with a slight laugh.

Lorelai smirked, "That's the new thing he does when he's happy…"

Luke smiled and held her closer, "I guess I can't pretend to hate that crazy dog anymore…"

She smirked up at him, "Of course not. He brought us back together." She pulled away and rubbed Paul Anka's head, "That's Mommy's good boy! And it turns out Daddy does love you!"

Luke groaned and put both of his hands on his head, "I am not his Daddy!"

She turned and glared at him, "Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!" Luke yelled as he put his hands on his hips and glared at her.

Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him and smirked, "Yes. You are."

"Lorelai…" He said through gritted teeth as he tried not to laugh.

Lorelai positioned herself behind Paul Anka and lifted his front legs up and pretended to speak for him, "I missed you so much Daddy!"

"Stop." Luke said as he continued to laugh, "Lorelai...stop."

"Will you make me a hamburger Daddy? No one does it like you…" She said with fake whimpering dog sounds.

"You fit perfectly into this town...you know that? You are just as insane as they are." He said pointing his hand towards the door.

She poked her head out from behind Paul Anka and smiled, "But...you love me right?"

His face softened and he nodded, "I love you Lorelai. So much."

She sighed happily and put Paul Anka's legs down before standing up, "You're a good boy Paul Anka." She said patting his head, "Now Mommy and Daddy need to go make up properly...stay down here…"

"Lorelai…" He said with a laugh as she stepped back towards the stairs.

She turned her head over her shoulder and smiled, "Can we save the rest of the talking for tomorrow?" She tilted her head to the side and whispered, "I need you…"

Luke swallowed hard and stepped into the foyer, "I'm not going anywhere."

Lorelai smiled and began to walk up the steps, "Thank God…"

Luke watched her walk away for a moment before he turned and bent down to pet Paul Anka, "You are a good boy…" He ruffled his fur and smirked, "You can have all the hamburgers you want bud…"

"Luke?" Lorelai called from upstairs hopefully.

Luke smiled and stood up again, "But that's gonna have to wait until tomorrow…" He pointed at him as he walked back towards the stairs, "Stay…" Paul Anka sat and Luke smirked, "Good boy!"

He took the steps two at a time and made his way towards the bedroom. They had a lot to fix but they both knew they were going to do whatever it took to fix it. Because it had never ended for either of them and it never would.

* * *

 **So what did you think? Hopefully you liked it! I enjoyed writing this one a lot. I always felt like the town would have been so happy that they got back together which is why I added that little part. I will try and update soon!**


	6. I'm A Mess

**Hey guys! Here is the next chapter! Based on the song "I'm A Mess" by Ed Sheeran it takes place post Season 7 finale. It's always been obvious that Luke has a hard time talking about his feelings. And hearing this song for some reason made me come up with this idea of how and why it's so hard for him. But also a way for them to find their way back to one another. Hope you like it. Thanks for the feedback! Let me know what you think of this new one and I will update as soon as I can!**

 _Ooh I'm a mess right now_  
 _Inside out_  
 _Searching for a sweet surrender_  
 _But this is not the end_  
 _I can't work it out_  
 _How?_  
 _Going through the motions_  
 _Going through us_  
 _And though I've known it for the longest time_  
 _And all my hope_  
 _All my words are all over written on the signs_  
 _But you're my road walking me home_  
 _Home, home, home, home_  
 _See the flames inside my eyes_  
 _It burns so bright I wanna feel your love_  
 _Oh oh easy baby maybe I'm a light_  
 _Before tonight I wanna fall in love_  
 _And put your faith in my stomach_  
 _I messed up this time_  
 _Late last night_  
 _Drinking to suppress devotion_  
 _With fingers intertwined_  
 _I can't shake this feeling now_  
 _We're going through the motions_  
 _Hoping you'd stop_  
 _And though I've only caused you pain_  
 _You know with all of my words_  
 _With were always beloved_  
 _Although all the lies spoke_  
 _When you're my road walking me home_  
 _Home, home, home, home_  
 _See the flames inside my eyes_  
 _It burns so bright I wanna feel your love_  
 _Oh easy baby maybe I'm a light_  
 _Before tonight I wanna fall in love_  
 _And put your faith in my stomach_  
 _And for how long I've loved my lover_  
 _For how long I've loved my lover_  
 _And now, now, for how long, long I've loved my lover_  
 _Now, now, for how long, long I've loved my lover_  
 _Now now, for how long, long I've loved my lover_  
 _(And I feel loved)_  
 _For how long, long I've loved my lover_  
 _Feel it all over now, now_  
 _And I feel love_  
 _For how long, long I've loved my lover_  
 _Feel it all over now, now_  
 _And I feel love_  
 _For how long, long I've loved my lover_  
 _Feel it all over now, now_  
 _And I feel love_  
 _For how long, long I've loved my lover_  
 _Feel it all over now, now_  
 _And I feel love_  
 _For how long, long I've loved my lover_  
 _I feel it all over now, now_  
 _And I feel love_  
 _For how long, long I've loved my lover, now now_  
 _For how long, long I've loved my lover  
_

* * *

Lorelai walked into the Diner late that night after dropping Rory off at the airport. Her eyes were red and puffy. She felt emotionally drained. The last year had been a rollercoaster from start to finish, and it showed no signs of slowing down. Her daughter and main reason for living was jet setting across the country for her first real job. And last night, she had kissed the love of her life after a year of being a part. Nothing had been discussed, it wasn't the right time. But now...she couldn't wait any longer.

Luke poked his head out from the kitchen and smiled at her, "Hey...you okay?"

She sighed heavily and walked over to the counter, "Haven't decided yet."

Luke nodded, reached across the counter and got a large piece of cherry pie. He placed it on a plate, and then put a heaping serving of whipped cream on the top before sliding it in front of her with a fork.

Lorelai couldn't help but smile, "You know me well…"

"Yes. I do." Luke said leaning against the back of the counter.

She picked up the fork, cut a piece of the pie and then looked at him tentatively, "So…"

He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet nervously, "So…"

She brought the fork to her lips, and took the first delicious bite. She waited until she had swallowed it all before daring to speak again. "What...what did last night mean?" She asked in an uncertain, shaky voice.

Luke pursed his lips and thought for a moment, "What do you want it to mean?"

She sighed and put her fork down before pushing the pie away, "Luke…"

"I mean do we have to talk about it all right now?" Luke asked her curiously, "You're exhausted. Rory left today...and I'm sure you got no sleep last night."

She huffed, "I haven't gotten any real sleep in a year Luke...maybe even longer."

They stood in uncomfortable silence for a moment before he pushed himself away from the counter and walked around the side to sit beside her as he reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. "We don't have to figure it all out now."

She let out a soft breath before glancing down at their joined hands, "We...we don't?"

He shook his head, "No. Let's just...just enjoy being together for now. The rest will come in time."

She opened her mouth to protest, but something in his blue eyes held her back. She quickly closed it, felt herself nodding her head and watched as he smiled and leaned forward to kiss her lips gently. As he pulled away, he slid the pie back towards her and gave her a soft smile.

"Eat. It will make you feel better." Luke said as he stood up, kissed the side of her head and walked around the counter again to finish cleaning up.

Lorelai sighed as she reached for her fork again and began eating the pie he had offered. As she took tiny bites, she wondered where they were headed and if this was right. She tried to push the thoughts away and enjoy being closer again but there was still a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

Three weeks later, they were settling into a comfortable routine again. Most nights Luke spent at Lorelai's house as he had done so long ago. They went on dates, she met him at the Diner when he had to work late. He cooked her breakfast in the morning, fed Paul Anka, they hung out with friends, talked to Rory on the phone and on skype but still they never discussed them.

One afternoon, Lorelai walked into her house during her lunch break because she had forgotten her cell phone during her rush that morning. She was lost in thought and almost didn't notice that Luke was standing in the kitchen attending to the sink.

"Oh!" She yelled as she placed a hand over her heart, "Jesus Luke...you almost gave me a heart attack."

He smiled sheepishly at her, "Sorry. I tried to call you earlier but you didn't pick up your cell and Michel said you were in a meeting."

Lorelai sighed and walked to the counter where her cell phone was lying, "I forgot it this morning. When my meeting was over Michel was already on break."

Luke nodded and went back to his work, "No big deal."

She watched him carefully, "What are you doing?"

"I noticed the sink was leaking the other day and I've been meaning to get to it. The Diner was slow so I figured I'd run over, let Paul Anka out and see if I could fix it. Hope that's okay…" He whispered looking back at her."

She swallowed hard and nodded, "Oh sure. Thank you."

He nodded and looked back at the sink, "No problem."

She watched him work for a moment, she noticed that his shoulders were tense. He looked upset but she wasn't sure what could be bothering him. She licked her lips and glanced around before speaking again, "Where is Paul Anka?"

"Living room I think." Luke ground out casually still not looking at her.

She narrowed her eyes, "Okay. I'll go check on him." She said turning, but she heard him clear his throat and she glanced back at him, "What?"

He cleared his throat again and was facing her but not looking directly at her, "Your uh…" He grimaced, "Your TV broke...I had to take it down."

She frowned, "What do you mean it broke? It was fine last night when we were watching a movie."

Luke bit his lip, "Yeah...I uh bumped into it accidently and it sort of...smashed."

"How do you bump into a flat screen TV that is mounted to the wall and smash it?" Lorelai said unable to keep herself from laughing slightly.

His face hardened, "It just happened. I cleaned it up, it's out back in the trash. I'll buy you a new one." He turned and began tending to the sink again, this time working with more force.

She stared at his back and the way his muscles rippled under the usual flannel, "Luke-"

"Of course you could always call _Christopher_ and have him buy you a fancy new one if you want." He said bitterly, "I'm sure he'd come running!"

Her heart plummeted to her stomach and she took a deep breath, "What?"

He sighed and turned to face her, "It was sitting there mocking me about the months he spent here with you. In the house that I renovated to share with you. He was your husband HERE not me. And he put that stupid TV up. What else did he change?"

She stumbled to find the right words, "Luke...I-"

He grabbed a towel and began to wipe his hands off, "I can't figure out what's wrong with this. I'll have to call a plumber or something. I need to get back to the Diner."

He moved so quickly she barely had time to get her bearings but she grabbed his arm before he could flee from the house, "Luke stop. Don't leave like this."

He stopped when he felt her hand on his arm, and his anger softened but not enough to make him face her. "I can't talk about this right now. I need to go back to work."

"Luke please…" She whispered feeling the tears burning in her eyes, "Don't just walk way."

He turned and stared at her, he looked past her tears and shook his head, "I have to go."

He yanked his arm from her grasp and she stumbled forward slightly as she felt the rush of wind caused by his fast movements. She swallowed hard when she heard the front door slam behind him. When she could finally move again, she walked towards the living room and sighed when she saw the giant hole left in the wall.

It was clear that Luke had not accidently bumped into the TV. Instead he had yanked it forcefully from the wall and threw it on the ground. It was probably the very reason that Paul Anka was currently sitting in the corner of the room hiding behind a plant. She sighed and extracted him from his spot before pulling him closer and burying her face in his soft fur to try and keep from crying.

The day after the fight while Lorelai was at work, Luke had come and patched the hole in the wall and replaced the TV with a new one. When she tried to talk to him about it, he shook his head and insisted that she come into the Diner for dinner. She did. And still there was no talking…

* * *

Two weeks later, they fell back into their comfortable routine. Dinner dates whenever possible, visits to the Diner and the Inn during work hours. And long nights spent making love at Lorelai's house. Luke got a phone call one Tuesday night from April saying she wanted him to visit for parents weekend at camp. Anna couldn't make it because of her mother but she was hoping he would come. Of course he agreed and was booking flights when Lorelai got home that night from work.

"What are you doing?" Lorelai asked as she glanced over his shoulder and noticed him trying to work her laptop.

Luke jumped slightly as he had not heard her come in, "Um...trying to figure this thing out. Sorry, is it okay that I use it?"

Lorelai smiled and reached out to pet Paul Anka who had come to greet her, "Of course. Want some help?"

His face turned red and he shifted uncomfortably, "No. I'm sure I'll figure it out."

She smiled at him and walked closer to him with a mischievous look on her face, "What...trying to buy me a present?"

Luke shifted so the computer wasn unseen, "No…"

She laughed and sat down next to him, trying to crane her neck to see what he was doing. "What...are you watching porn?"

His face reddened and he groaned, "God! Come on Lorelai, no!"

She stared at him for a moment and crossed her arms over her chest, "Then...why won't you let me look?"

He sighed and turned the computer towards her again so she could see he was on the JetBlue website. "I'm trying to buy airline tickets."

She frowned slightly and nodded, "For where? You going on a trip?"

He closed the computer and stood up quickly before placing it down on the coffee table, "April asked me to come to parents weekend at her camp."

Lorelai's face softened slightly, they hadn't discussed April much but she knew this would mean a great deal to him. "Luke, that's great! You should totally go."

Luke nodded and glanced at her awkwardly, "Yeah I'm going too."

She stared at him for a moment, confused by his skittish behavior, it was much like the Luke that had brought them to their break up. "Okay...well I think that's great. But...why are you being so weird?"

He shook his head, "I'm not being weird. I'm just saying I'm going to see April. It's this weekend."

She swallowed hard and nodded, "Okay…"

"So I'll be gone for three days and...you're just gonna have to deal with it." He said quickly without thinking his words through.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "What's your problem? It's not like I said you couldn't go. You know I think it's great that you are taking this April thing so seriously. When did I ever tell you that you couldn't spend time with her?"

He crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm just saying I know you are insecure about me and her."

She opened her eyes wide, surprised by his words, "I'm only insecure about it because you make me feel insecure!" Lorelai yelled pushing herself off the couch. "You're the one that won't' let me around her. Even after all this time I'm still not good enough!"

He shook his head, "That's not what it's about."

She sighed, "Then what is it about Luke?" She asked hands on her hips, "You said it would be different. That we would be different. That everything would fall into place when it was time. And we're in exactly the same spot we were before we broke up."

"That's not true." Luke said stubbornly, "Things have been great. We've spent every single day together since Rory left."

Lorelai nodded, "Yes. We have. But we haven't resolved anything Luke. All the hurt is still there...all the anger. It's all still sitting below the surface and you won't let us talk about it. You keep me at a distance still and I'm to scared to say anything to piss you off so I've kept my mouth shut. But we're heading down the same path we were before!"

Luke glared at her and let the words leave his mouth before thinking it all the way through. "So what...you're gonna go screw Christopher because you aren't getting what you want?"

She instinctively reached up and slapped him hard across the face, "Get out."

Luke lifted his hand to his cheek and rubbed it feeling shocked by his own words and her reaction, "Lorelai…"

"Just go." She said turning towards the stairs as the tears began to spill down her face, "Get out! And don't come back."

Luke grabbed her arm quickly and spun her around before she could run away, "I shouldn't have said that."

"You said it because you still haven't forgiven me." She said without turning back to him as her body wracked with sobs. "And unless we talk about this you never will."

"I don't want to talk about it." Luke said angrily as he pulled his hand away from her arm, "I don't want to even think about it!"

She sighed and glanced back over at him with such sadness it broke his heart, "I don't either Luke...but we have too. Otherwise it's never going to work and we will just keep hurting each other over and over. I can't live like this!" She screamed in desperation.

"How do you expect me to talk about it?" Luke asked feeling his own pain bubbling up, "Then I'd have to admit that it kills me knowing you were with him…that you slept with him. You married HIM."

She licked her lips nervously. "What do you want from me Luke? I can't change the past and neither can you. But we're here...and we either need to move forward or end it. Because this isn't working for either one of us."

"I just want to be with you." Luke said softly as he stepped into her, "Why can't we just keep things the way they have been?"

She shook her head and stepped away from him, "Because we aren't living in reality Luke. Do you really think we can do this forever? You want to be 70 years old still technically living at the apartment and me here? Having casual date nights and blowing up at each other over stupid past mistakes but never really talking about it? Because if that's what you want you might as well leave for good now because I won't do it. I want more."

Luke searched her face as he felt her slipping away again, "Lorelai…"

"We need serious help if this is ever going to work." She said sniffling, "I think we should talk to someone."

Luke laughed and stepped away from her, "What, like a shrink? You can't be serious!"

She sighed, "Well you won't let me in Luke! You never do! So how can I talk to you if you keep your walls up?"

"I'm not going to pay some crack pot to dig into my psyche and tell me how monumentally screwed up I am when I can figure that out myself." Luke said angrily.

She pursed her lips and nodded, "Fine. Well if you can't do that with me...and you can't talk to me on your own then I think that this is over for real." She said as she took a shaky breath, "Because this isn't working for me...and I can't pretend anymore. You should go…"

She turned away from him and he grabbed her hand in his, "Lorelai...don't."

She put a hand over her face and shook her head, "Luke I can't…"

"But I…" He tried to force the words from his mouth but they got stuck somewhere in the back of his throat. "I…"

She turned back to him and whimpered, "See...you can't even tell me you love me." She let out a cry as she turned away from him, "Go home Luke. Lock the door on your way out, and leave your key."

He watched her walk up the steps and heard the slamming of her bedroom door as he stood rooted in his spot. After a few minutes, he turned, grabbed his keys and unhooked her house key before placing it on the coffee table. His feet lead him out the front door but his heart was still somewhere at the bottom of her staircase waiting to be pieced back together.

Lorelai waited until she heard the truck pull out of the driveway before she walked down the stairs again. She sucked in a deep breath when she saw that he had really left the key. She grabbed it in her hand and threw it across the room before crumpling to the floor and breaking down for what felt like the millionth time that year.

* * *

The following day, Lorelai went to work in a daze. It felt much like life in the months leading up to them getting back together. She was going through the motions but not really living. She was so distracted she barely noticed Morey and Babette standing in front of her at the desk.

"Lorelai?" Babette called for the third time, "Sugah, you okay?"

Lorelai snapped out of her daze and smiled at them, "Hey! Sorry. I'm a little sleepy today."

Babette smirked, "Oh you don't have to apologize honey. Still in that blissful make-up-sex stage with Luke, I take it?"

Lorelai grimaced, "Oh...yeah." She hadn't told anyone about the fight and she had no intention of doing so. "Um...so what are you doing here?"

"Well...we have a huge favor to ask." Babette said glancing over at Morey, "But our anniversary is this weekend."

Lorelai smiled, "That's right!" She said cheerfully, "I almost forgot. 30 years! You guys want to book the honeymoon suite? I know it's open."

"That would be great. But...we were also wondering if we could have a bit of a celebration here? We want to renew our vows." Morey said wrapping his arm around her, "I want to re-commit myself to my gorgeous bride."

Lorelai beamed at them, "That is so sweet…"

Babette leaned against Morey and sighed happily, "I know that it's sort of last minute...but do you think it would be at all possible?"

Lorelai nodded, "I think we can put together something! I'm just so honored you wanted to do it here."

Babette smiled, "It's the most pretty spot in all of town honey! It has to be here!"

Lorelai nodded as she stepped around the desk, "Well thanks Babette. Let's go talk to Sookie about food and all that and then we can start making phone calls!"

"So you'll be one of the guests of course. And Luke." Morey said as they walked.

Lorelai stumbled awkwardly, "Oh...well actually Luke is going to be away this weekend. He's going to see April at her camp. So...it will just be me."

Babette frowned, "Oh darn...I wanted to see him all dressed up."

Lorelai swallowed hard and tried to smile, "I guess you'll just have to wait until the next wedding in town."

"Which will no doubt be yours!" Babette said poking her sides, "We all can't wait for that! What a party that will be!"

Lorelai felt the tears burning in her eyes and she paused to let them past her, "Maybe! Why don't' you go in and talk to Sookie first...let me run to my office and grab a few things. I'll be you in a minute."

"Okay!" Babette and Morey said as they walked into the kitchen.

Lorelai watched them go before turning quickly and heading to her office. She slammed the door behind her, leaned against the door and tried to take deep breaths to keep from breaking into a million pieces again.

The following days passed in a blur. Lots of orders were made from flowers to dresses to food for the after party. Sookie was taking care of everything including the cake and Lorelai was in charge of setting up the yard to meet Babette's standards. She was so busy she hardly had time to think about Luke. It was only during the lonely hours of the night where she was alone in bed that the loneliness would creep in and turn her numb. He hadn't called...hadn't come by the house or the Inn and she told herself it was because he didn't really want her anymore.

Little did she know he was just as miserable…

* * *

That Friday, Luke was packing for his trip in the apartment when there was a knock on the door. He grumbled that it was open and was surprised to see Liz walk in.

"What are you doing here? I thought you guys were already up in New Hampshire for the Renaissance Faire?" Luke asked quickly.

Liz shook her head, "Well we were. But Babette called and told us about her vow renewal with Morey and we knew we had to come home."

"Renewal?" Luke asked curiously, "When's that happening?"

Liz frowned at him, "What do you mean when is it happening? It's tomorrow…" She laughed slightly, "At the Dragonfly...you know the Inn your girlfriend owns."

Luke swallowed hard and turned back to his bag, "Oh…"

Liz stopped and sighed, "Oh no...what happened? You guys were on track! How the hell did you screw it up already?"

He snorted angrily, "Why do you assume that I did something?"

Liz glared at him and put a hand on her hip, "Because you have that look on your face. And because when I talked to Lorelai at Rory's party after your kiss she looked so happy. She wasn't about to let you go easily. So what did you do?"

"Nothing." Luke said as he threw things into his suitcase and refused to look at her.

Liz rolled her eyes, "Literally nothing I assume."

"Liz! I don't want to talk about this! I don't want to talk to Lorelai about all that crap! I just don't want to talk!" He screamed loudly as he spun to face her.

Liz stared sadly at him, "Oh Luke...you gotta face the demons sometime big brother. You've been running for years. It's time to stop."

"You're delusional." Luke said pushing past her as he walked into the kitchen, "I have not been running."

"Maybe not physically. But emotionally you have." Liz said turning to watch him walk around the kitchen and pick up things he needed. "Since Mom died-"

"Don't even start with me." Luke said whipping back to look at her, "We aren't talking about it."

"Well I'm talking about it and you will listen." She said stubbornly as she stepped over to him, "The minute Mom died you and Dad both stopped talking and shut yourselves away. I was no angel but half the reason I ran was because I couldn't stand the silence anymore!"

"So you're blaming your mistakes on me? Because I wouldn't talk to you?" Luke said with his hand on his chest.

Liz sighed, "No. Luke. I'm not. I made my own choices. But I got tired of pretending everything was okay. Just like Lorelai. Don't you see a pattern here? You shut yourself off from EVERYONE and they run away. Rachel...clearly you had communication issues with Nicole. And now Lorelai...is that what you want? You want to be alone forever? If you do just admit it. But that makes me sad because I don't want that for you."

Luke swallowed hard and looked down at his feet as he leaned against the counter, "Liz…"

She sighed sadly and walked over to him to place a gentle hand on his arm, "I know you are afraid to lose people. When mom died...it broke you. It broke all of us. But...it happened Luke. And we pretended that it didn't. And then when Dad died...you shut yourself off even more. I thought with Lorelai you'd open up again but you keep pushing her farther and farther away."

Luke swallowed hard, "Mom wasn't supposed to die like that...not when we were so young. Both of them were supposed to live until they were much older. I wasn't ready. I still needed them. I still need them."

Liz felt the tears burning in her eyes, "I know. I know Luke. You know I do...but they aren't here. They had no choice on the matter...but you can't spend your life angry about it. Don't push her away again Luke…"

"I don't know what to do. I don't know how to talk to her." He said sadly as he put a hand over his eyes, "It's so hard…"

Liz nodded, "I know it is." She paused and walked away to grab her bag on the table, "I have something that might help."

He sniffled slightly feeling the tears threatening to fall, "What?"

She bit her lip nervously, "Do you remember when Mom was really bad? She...she wrote us letters."

Luke nodded, "I threw mine out. Never read it. I couldn't…"

Liz shook her head, "Yeah well...I saved it. I didn't want you to regret it someday. I saved both of ours...they are folded up in my wallet. I keep them with my always."

"You kept it?" Luke asked in shock, "I can't believe you went through the trash to get it. Did you read it?"

Liz shook her head, "No. I never read it. It's yours...not mine." She pulled the folded envelope out of her bag and reached her hand out to him, "Take it Luke. You need to let go."

Luke stared at the envelope in her hand for a moment. Then he grabbed it, leaned forward and kissed her temple before grabbing his bag, "I need to go to the airport. I'll miss my flight. I'll talk to you when I get back."

Liz watched him go, "Luke…"

He stopped in the doorway and looked at her briefly, "I gotta go sis."

She watched him go sadly and hoped that he wouldn't throw it out as soon as possible.

* * *

The following night, Luke was walking around the camp with April enjoying listening to her talk about all the things she had done so far. She would be coming home soon and couldn't wait to spend some time with him in Stars Hollow. She asked a million questions, mostly about Lorelai and he tried his best to keep the edge out of his voice.

But April was a smart kid and caught on quickly, "Dad...is everything okay?"

Luke took a deep breath and smiled at her, "Yeah! Everything's great. Why?"

She frowned at him, she sat down on a nearby bench and looked over at him. "Because you aren't acting like yourself. And every time I mention Lorelai's name you get all fidgety. I thought you guys got back together…"

Luke sighed and walked to her and sat down beside her, "We did…"

"Did? As in past tense meaning you aren't together now?" April asked in surprise, "I don't understand...I thought you wanted to be with her. You were so unhappy when you guys were apart. I could tell. I thought this would make you happy."

Luke groaned, "It's complicated kid...you wouldn't understand."

April narrowed her eyes at him, "Dad...I'm a lot smarter than you give me credit for." She said with a smirk, "Spill it."

Luke chuckled, "I know you're a lot smarter than I give you credit for. It's just hard...Lorelai and I both did a lot of things that pushed us apart. And...I don't like talking."

April rolled her eyes, "Really? I had no idea...I asked about Lorelai for months and you changed the subject every single time."

Luke sighed, "April...I'm not a talker. I'm sorry if that disappoints you but I'm just not."

April smiled sadly at him, "Don't you want to be happy?"

Luke nodded, "Of course I do…"

"And doesn't Lorelai make you happy?" April asked turning further into him.

Luke nodded slowly, "She does…"

"Seems simple enough to me. If you want to be with her...find a way to talk to her. Otherwise you're just going to both be miserable and if you ask me that's a waste of your time and energy not to mention your life." April said flatly.

Luke sighed, "You definitely get your ability to be blunt from me."

April smiled, "So they tell me." She paused and shrugged, "You should go home and fix it."

Luke looked at her, surprised by her words, "But I'm here to see you."

April nodded, "And I appreciate that you came all the way down here. We had a great time yesterday and today but you need to go home and fix this. And then I'll be back in Stars Hollow soon. We'll hang out then."

"But April-" Luke said stubbornly feeling the fear creep back in.

April shook her head, "I'm not taking no for an answer Dad. You have to do this and stop being so damn stubborn for once in your life."

"April!" Luke said trying to sound angry but he couldn't help but laugh.

She smiled at him, "Go home Dad. Figure it out. Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life regretting it. And I think we both know that you're tired of having regrets." She leaned up to kiss his cheek, "Come on...let's go get your stuff packed back up."

Luke followed her as they walked and began to realize she was right. Time was going by and nothing was getting better. He lost her once...and he couldn't lose her again. But how would he finally open up to her?

* * *

On the plane, Luke was unable to keep his feet from tapping on the ground. He felt anxious and scared. He didn't know what the hell he was going to do or say when he saw her. Hell, he wasn't even sure if she would want to see him or listen at this point. He ran a hand over his face and tried to find a way to breath through his nerves. His hand reached into his pocket and he pulled out the faded and folded envelope Liz had given him.

He stared at it for a few minutes before finding the courage to unfold it. Across the front he saw the loopy handwriting that was so familiar even though he had not seen it in years…He felt the lump growing in his throat but he couldn't turn back now. Carefully opening it, he extracted the letter and unfolded it so he could read.

 _My dearest Lucas,  
This isn't an easy letter for me to write. I wish that I could be there to watch you grow older. I know you will be such a good man. You are already such a good boy. You and Liz have been the best things that I have ever done in my life. I have enjoyed every minute I had being your Mom. I only wish I could give you more.  
You are always so strong, you've always been a responsible man trapped inside a boy's body. Often it made me laugh, but now I worry that you will feel like you have to take care of everyone before yourself. You're so much like your father in that way. As much as I love your father, I worry that he will shut down once I am gone. And I'm afraid you will follow in his footsteps. I admire how hard you work at being the perfect son and you are Lucas. But...you often put your needs after everyone else's.  
As your mother I just want you to be happy. I want you to do all the things you have ever wanted to do. I want you to explore and find the right path for yourself. I want you to fall in love. And I want you to give your heart to someone without being afraid. Because love is the most wonderful thing in the world Lucas. I love your father more than anything in the world. He has given me so much in my life and I want nothing more than for you and Liz to find someone who will make you just as happy as your father has made me.  
Please don't be afraid to let people in. Please open yourself up to people. Please show the world what an amazing person you are. Don't be afraid Luke...when you find the right person they will love you no matter what. I believe you will find that person and I wish that I could meet them. I love you my son. Now and always. And no matter what happens...I will always be with you.  
Love,  
Mom_

Luke finished the letter and was incredibly glad he had no one sitting beside him. He couldn't not cry reading the words his mother had written. If he had read it all those years ago...would things be different? He couldn't change the past...but he was sure as hell going to try and change the future.

* * *

The following day at the Inn Lorelai worked from early in the morning until late in the afternoon to make sure everything was exactly as Babette wanted. Being so busy was a good distraction from the pain that was bubbling over. Everyone kept asking about Luke and she expertly avoided the question not wanting to think twice about him and what was going on.

During the actual renewal ceremony, Lorelai sat in her seat and tried to keep the tears at bay. She wanted this so bad for her and Luke but it was clear to her that it wasn't going to happen now. She had thought they were on track to where they needed to be...but instead they were following the same path as before. She clapped along with her friends as Babette and Morey walked down the aisle and tried to wipe her tears away quickly.

Sookie noticed though, "Hey...you okay?"

Lorelai smiled, "Yes. I'm just happy for them." She sniffled, "I'm going to go check on a few things. See you at the table?"

Sookie watched her leave and nodded, "Sure…"

Lorelai walked back into the Inn and over to the front desk. She leaned against it for a moment trying to compose herself but it was useless. She put a hand over her mouth and tried to keep the sob in but it came just the same and she fell slightly against the desk feeling her knees go weak.

"Hey…" A familiar deep voice called out to her.

Lorelai stood up quickly and looked at Luke in shock as he stood in front of her in a suit and tie, "Luke. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with April."

Luke put his hands in his pockets nervously, "She sent me home on an assignment."

She wiped at her eyes and looked anywhere but at him, "She did?"

"Lorelai…" He said going to step around the desk but she stepped away from him and placed a hand up to stop him.

"Luke I can't do this. You made it clear the other night that you couldn't do what I needed you to do. And maybe that is selfish of me but I can't...I can't live like this." She said putting a hand on her stomach and trying to breath, "I'm falling apart."

He sighed and stared at her for a moment, "I don't want that." He thought for a moment before asking, "Will you take a walk with me?"

She licked her lips sadly, "Luke I can't…"

He sighed, "Just a walk...a chance for me to try my best to explain. And then if you still want me to go I will…"

She stared at him for a moment and noticed the bags under his eyes, he looked tired and sad. In some way it felt good to see because at least she knew that he wasn't doing well either. This wasn't easy for him…

She nodded slowly and took a few steps to follow him. They walked out of the Inn and around the grounds, past the people gathering in the reception area as Babette and Morey took pictures elsewhere. They walked in silence and she waited patiently trying to figure out what he wanted. They walked further into the yard until they came to a little clearing look out on the lake.

He stopped walking and she followed in suit, she looked past him and tried to keep herself from asking questions. Just as she was about to snap, he reached into his pocket and held out a piece of paper for her.

She stared in confusion at him, "What is this?"

"It's a letter from my Mom…" Luke whispered softly.

She cocked her head to the side and stared at him, "From your Mom?"

Luke nodded, "She wrote it when she knew she was…" He cleared his throat, "When she knew she wasn't going to make it. She wort Liz and I both letters…"

"I had no idea…" She said looking down at his name scrawled across the front of it.

"I threw it away after she died. I never read it...but Liz apparently saved it for me." He said glancing out at the clearing, "She gave it to me the other day...and I finally got the courage to read it." He looked back over at her, "You can read it if you want…"

She shook her head, "It's yours-"

"I want you to read it." Luke said more confidently, "Please…"

She licked her lips nervously and took the fragile letter from the envelope. He walked past her and waited to let her read. Her eyes scanned the page drinking in every word written by the woman she had never been able to meet. Her heart broke as she moved from line to line and when she was finally finished she looked up at him with tears spilling down her face.

He was staring directly at her and she sighed, "Oh Luke…"

He rubbed the back of his head before taking the letter and folding it up again and putting it in his pocket, "When she died...I shut down Lorelai. So did my Dad. We never talked about a damn thing. Even when Liz said she was pregnant...my Dad didn't even respond. She told him at dinner and he paused for a moment...and then just went back to eating. We just didn't do it...we didn't discuss things no matter how much we needed too."

She walked over to him and nodded, "Luke…"

"I don't know how to do it." He said as his own eyes brimmed with tears, "I don't know how to force the words from my mouth. They are there…" He said pointing at his head, "But nothing comes out…"

She stepped all the way up to him and took his hand in hers, "I'm right here Luke. I've always been right here. And you can tell me anything."

He nodded, "I know I can...but it's hard. It's so damn hard…"

She stood on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his lips gently and then one on each cheek and finally his nose, "Just...try. Try Luke…"

He swallowed hard and held her hand tighter in his, "There is so much to talk about...years of things but…" He sighed, "I guess we should start with recent stuff."

"Wherever you want. Wherever you feel comfortable." She said giving him a gentle squeeze to help him push on.

He nodded, "I...I know that I made mistakes. When I found out about April I should have told you right away. And I wanted too...but I was confused. And I felt ashamed. I couldn't wrap my head around it...and I was angry at Anna but also so excited to get to know April. And it was never about not wanting her around you...I just felt like I had to prove to myself that I could be a father before I brought her into our lives. I felt like I had to fix all of that before I could commit myself to you fully. And I should have said that...but I was just quiet and you thought that meant I didn't want you. But that's not true...I wanted and needed you more than ever but I couldn't figure out out how to say that."

He had tears in his eyes and she lifted her hand to wipe at them, "It's okay...you're doing great. I'm right here."

He nodded slowly and pushed on, "I just...I thought we were okay. I should have seen you slipping away. And even in Martha's Vineyard I just assumed we would be fine. But...that was wrong and I'm so sorry Lorelai. God I'm so sorry…" He reached for her hips and closed his eyes as he tried to find the strength to continue.

She kissed his cheek softly, "You're okay…"

"And then that night...you were standing there asking me to jump and I wanted too. I really did but I felt so stuck. And it wasn't your fault. I just didn't know what to do...I couldn't move. It's like my feet were cemented to the ground and I just watched you walk away and I couldn't figure it out. But I just assumed I could fix it...that I'd tell you I loved you and that you'd come back. But...the next day you didn't want to talk. And I understand that...you had no reason to talk to me. But…" He swallowed hard and looked up, "God I hate this."

She knew what was coming, and as much as it hurt to think about and talk about they had to keep going, "I know...but...Luke...we have too…"

He nodded and looked down at his hands on her hips unable to meet her eyes, "When you said you slept with him…" He swallowed hard and he knew she was holding her breath, "I thought I was going to die. I couldn't not see you with him...I couldn't not picture his hands on you and I want to throw up. I want to die."

She whimpered softly and gripped his arms, "I'm so sorry. God Luke I'm so sorry. I didn't mean...it wasn't intentional. I didn't plan it...I honestly barely remember it. I was so broken and it just happened and I hate myself for it."

He nodded in understanding, "I know you didn't do it to hurt me. But it did...it killed me."

She began to wipe at her own tears, "I know...I know…"

"But I should have known I pushed you there. It was easier to just be mad at you then face my own faults. So I let you go. Or at least I said I was letting you go...but I couldn't." He said shaking his head adamantly. "I can't let you go. Not really."

"I don't want you to let me go." Lorelai said softly, "I want to be with you Luke. I want that more than anything…"

He smiled and reached up to wipe her tears away, "I think maybe you were right…"

She leaned into his touch and stared expectantly at him, "What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath, "I think we should try and talk to someone...I know I need it. I need someone to help me figure out how to talk to you...because I don't want to ruin this. And I think I probably need it just for me…"

Lorelai wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him close, "Oh hon…"

"I'm sorry." He said holding her tight, "I wish I wasn't such a screw up. You deserve better."

She pulled away to hold his face in her hands, "You are not a screw up Luke. You are an amazing man. But you have never allowed yourself to deal with a lot of the things you've been through. No one can lose their parents like you did and just be okay babe...I understand it. But I want to be here for you...I want to build a life together. But the only way to do that is to be open with one another no matter how hard it is."

He sniffled and couldn't help but laugh, "I'm a mess."

She smiled at him, "So am I. But when we're good Luke...we're so good. And I think we can be again. We just have to try harder...we have to both want this. I want this...do you?"

"More than anything." He said squeezing her gently.

She took a deep breath, "Well that's good to hear…" She paused and stroked his face with her hand gently, "We are taking a good first step here…"

He nodded and leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers, "No more regrets. I spent years being to afraid to tell you how I felt. And then even when I got you I did it wrong...no more."

She held his hips and nodded, "I agree. No more regrets."

He held her for a moment and then pulled away slowly, "Lorelai?"

She let her eyes flutter open and she smiled up at him, "Yes?"

"I love you." He said honestly, "I should have told you a million times. I don't know why it's been so hard to say it but I'm going to work on it. I promise. You deserve to hear how amazing you are...because you are everything that is good in my life."

She felt the tears brimming in her eyes again, "Oh babe…"

He pointed back towards where Babette and Morey were off celebrating, "When the time is right and we figure this all out...I want that to be us."

She nodded quickly, "I want that too. God I want that...I love you so much." She leaned up and kissed him passionately, "Only you Luke. It's always been you."

"Thank you for listening to me...for allowing me to figure it out." He said with an emotional, raw voice, "I know it's not going to be easy. And we're going to argue again...but we're going to make this work."

She smiled hopefully, "We have too. I can't stand being without you. Nothing in my life makes sense."  
He nodded in agreement, "I know what you mean…"

She stepped back slightly and nodded her head towards the ceremony, "Come dance with me? You look so handsome and I want to show off my man…"

Luke smiled at her and reached for her hand, "You look beautiful by the way…my beautiful girl."

She blushed and pulled him up beside her as she wrapped an arm around his waist, "We're going to be okay…" She looked up at him as they walked and kissed his jaw, "Thank you for opening up to me...for taking that first step."

He continued to walk with her and nodded, "No other choice. Hurting you is the worst feeling in the world. I want to make you happy."

"You do." She said wrapping both of her arms around his waist, "You do Luke. And we will make each other happy. One step at a time, okay?"

"You'll be beside me?" He said giving her a gentle squeeze.

"I'm not going anywhere." She said as they joined the rest of their friends and and walked into the dance floor, "You're stuck with me."

He took a deep breath and pulled her against his chest, "Thank God for that."

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder as he positioned them and began to lead her on the dance floor. She breathed him in and held him close as they danced together. Across the dance floor, she caught Sookie's eye who gave her a knowing smile. Lorelai winked back at her and squeezed him tighter and finally began to feel the pieces of their hearts fall back together. When he whispered in her ear that he loved her, her heart swelled in her chest and allowed herself to finally give her heart to him fully without fear of it being broken.

And as he held her, he felt the weight of the years of pent up fears and frustrations begin to melt away. He felt the beginning of a much needed release and made a note to thank his sister for keeping his Mother's letter all these years. He felt a pang in his heart knowing that his Mom would never meet Lorelai. But as he continued to dance with the love of his life, he felt a rush of warmth fill him and he realized his Mom was a lot closer than he realized. And it was finally okay to say goodbye so that he could move on to his future. 

* * *

**A little more angsty than some, but I hope you liked it! Let me know and send a review! Thanks! :)**


	7. Photograph

**It's like you guys read my mind! The last chapter was all about Luke doing some self reflection to understand why he had the issues he had in his relationship with Lorelai. Well this time around it's Lorelai's turn to do some reflecting of her own. Set to the song "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran. If you can't tell I'm a big fan of his :) There will be more artists and songs to come later on! Thanks for your continued support!  
**  
 **"Photograph"**

 **Loving can hurt**  
 **Loving can hurt sometimes**  
 **But it's the only thing that I know**  
 **When it gets hard**  
 **You know it can get hard sometimes**  
 **It is the only thing that makes us feel alive**  
 **We keep this love in a photograph**  
 **We made these memories for ourselves**  
 **Where our eyes are never closing**  
 **Hearts are never broken**  
 **Times forever frozen still**  
 **So you can keep me**  
 **Inside the pocket**  
 **Of your ripped jeans**  
 **Holdin' me closer**  
 **'Til our eyes meet**  
 **You won't ever be alone**  
 **Wait for me to come home**  
 **Loving can heal**  
 **Loving can mend your soul**  
 **And it's the only thing that I know (know)**  
 **I swear it will get easier**  
 **Remember that with every piece of ya**  
 **And it's the only thing we take with us when we die**  
 **We keep this love in this photograph**  
 **We made these memories for ourselves**  
 **Where our eyes are never closing**  
 **Our hearts were never broken**  
 **Times forever frozen still**  
 **So you can keep me**  
 **Inside the pocket**  
 **Of your ripped jeans**  
 **Holdin' me closer**  
 **'Til our eyes meet**  
 **You won't ever be alone**  
 **And if you hurt me**  
 **That's OK, baby, only words bleed**  
 **Inside these pages you just hold me**  
 **And I won't ever let you go**  
 **Wait for me to come home [4x]**  
 **Oh you can fit me**  
 **Inside the necklace you got when you were 16**  
 **Next to your heartbeat**  
 **Where I should be**  
 **Keep it deep within your soul**  
 **And if you hurt me**  
 **Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed**  
 **Inside these pages you just hold me**  
 **And I won't ever let you go**  
 **When I'm away**  
 **I will remember how you kissed me**  
 **Under the lamppost**  
 **Back on 6th street**  
 **Hearing you whisper through the phone,**  
 **"Wait for me to come home."**

* * *

It had been a full two weeks since Rory's going away party. Luke and Lorelai had spent every minute possible together. There had been sweet and tender moments of nothing but fun and love between them. And there had been moments of pure anger and pain as they fought and pushed through all the demons. It needed to happen but it was the hardest thing they had ever had to do.

They had talked about pretty much everything, even the two hardest topics: April and Christopher. There had been tears and anger but they had pushed through because they were determined to fix things and to be better this time around. Luke was proud of the progress they had made, he was never easy for him to talk about such things but he knew it was important. Despite all their progress, there was still one topic that was nagging at him and he was waiting to bring it up.

Yes Lorelai had tried to talk to him in Martha's Vineyard about how unhappy she was. But there was more to do. He wanted to know why she had let it go for so long. He was aware that he was often closed off and even during their first break up when she tried to talk he pulled away. But he couldn't help but think it was more than just that...there was a reason for her being so quiet for so long.

Lorelai Gilmore was a woman who LOVED to talk. At least about the easy things like food, coffee, gossip, TV, movies, music. She could go on for hours about those things. But when it came to her deepest darkest secrets and insecurities she was like a vault. It killed him to know that for so many years she felt so alone and didn't have anyone to reach out too. He knew that if they were ever going to have a chance to make it they had to break down that final wall of hers.

He took a deep breath as he heard her walking down the stairs after her shower and waited until she sat beside him on the couch. He glanced over at her to gage her mood, she smiled at him and leaned up to kiss his cheek as she curled her legs up under her.

"I saw Lane and the babies today. I took about 100 pictures to send to Rory. She doesn't want to miss a thing." She said reaching for her phone as she flipped through them, "I can't believe how big they are getting."

Luke smiled, "I know. She brought them by the Diner yesterday, they are pretty cute."

Lorelai beamed up at him, "You like babies. I remember years ago they totally freaked you out!"

He blushed and shrugged, "They're cute...no big deal."

She poked his shoulder, "Admit it...you like babies!"

Luke shifted uncomfortably, "Okay fine. Babies are cute." She smirked, proud she had broken him down and before he knew what he was doing he jumped, "You still want more kids?"

Lorelai paused and shifted her eyes to him and back to her phone nervously, "What?"

He cleared his throat, "I just...is that something you still think you want? With...me?"

Lorelai swallowed hard and turned towards him, "I…" She licked her lips and nodded slowly, "I'd like that...if it's possible. And if it's what you want…"

Luke reached for her legs and pulled them up into his lap, "Good. That's good. I just wanted to check."

She watched him for a moment and could tell there was more brimming beneath the surface, "Luke...what is it?"

He took a deep breath and began to rub her legs to keep him calm, "I think...I think we've made a lot of progress during the last few weeks. Don't' you? We've talked about a lot of things. About difficult things...things we've avoided for a long time."

Lorelai nodded slowly, "Yes...I agree. I think we've talked about pretty much everything we need to talk about."

He narrowed his eyes slowly, "I disagree…"

She tried to pull her legs away from him but he held her tighter, "You disagree? What more is there to say? My head's still spinning from some of our conversations. I know it needed to happen and in a way it felt good but...it was hard. What more is there?"

Luke shifted slowly, "I want to talk about why you didn't come to me sooner about how you were feeling." She opened her mouth to protest, "I know what you're going to say and yes...I was the King of pushing you away when things like that came up. But...if you had brought it up over and over I'd like to think that I would have listened."

She stared at him for a moment, "Luke…"

"And I know that it's hard for you to talk about certain things...but we need too." He said giving her legs a gentle, affectionate squeeze. "We've faced so many things head on. And I've admitted that I need to be better about communication with you but...it works both ways in my opinion. I need you to come to me when you are upset instead of pretending like you're happy. I can usually read you...but I'm not perfect Lorelai. I can't see it all the time. And then it sits there in your head and it drives you crazy and then we end up in situations like we did last year…"

Lorelai pulled her legs away so fast he had no time to pull her back, "I'm not doing this."

He groaned as she stood up and walked out of the living room but he wasn't going to let her get away so easily. Instead he pushed himself off the couch and immediately followed her because he had agreed to never let her walk away again.

"Lorelai we have too. We have to talk about this. We've talked about everything else and I've been patient and tried to let you lead it but this is bothering me and I want to discuss it." He said stubbornly.

She stood in the kitchen with no real destination in mind, "I said I'd try harder. I said I'd try and talk to you about things...isn't that enough?"

He sighed again, "No. I don't think it is. We need to figure out why you don't want to talk about this stuff...why you don't like to open up to me or anyone about important stuff. We talked about me...and why it's hard for me. But not you...and I think that's a problem."

She sucked her lip into her mouth and shook her head angrily, "No."

He stepped closer to her trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible. "I'm not trying to upset you, okay? I just don't want to make the same mistakes we did before. There has to be a reason for this Lorelai…"

She looked up at him quickly and then walked past him, "I'm going out."

Luke got angry and went to follow her as she grabbed her keys, "You can't run away every time things get hard Lorelai. I know that's what you liked to do and that's an issue too. Would you stop and just talk to me?" He asked as he grabbed her arm as she reached for the door.

She paused only briefly and without turning back to him she sighed, "I need some air. I need to think…"

"Lorelai...come on." He said pulling at her arm slowly.

She shook her head again and turned back to him to leave a kiss on his cheek, "I just need a minute. I'll be back soon, okay? I promise."

"Lorelai…" He tried again with more desperation in his voice.

She knew what he was afraid of and she sucked in the tears, "I just...I need a minute to myself. I'm sorry. I know that's not fair...but I'll be back. And if you still want to talk...I'll try. But if you're gone…" She wiped at her eyes quickly not wanting him to see her cry, "I'll understand that too."

They way she was looking at him made him realize that whatever she was thinking made sense in her own head. He hated to admit that flashes of her running to Christopher were running through his he had to trust her. He had to believe that whatever she was doing was for them. So he took a step back and let go of her hand reluctantly. She watched him stand with his hands in his pockets as he whispered, "I'll be right here."

She inhaled sharply and then slipped out the door before he could change his mind. His heart ached when he heard the jeep start up and he waited until she was out of the driveway before walking to the living room. He plopped down on the couch and didn't protest when Paul Anka jumped up to sit beside him. Instead he welcomed the crazy dog and waited for Lorelai once again…

* * *

Meanwhile in the car, Lorelai had no real destination in mind. She just needed to be away from the situation which she knew was wrong. She knew that Luke was right...she had her own demons she needed to face. But admitting it and doing it were two very different things. The only thing she did know was she wasn't going anywhere near Christopher.

She drove and drove and before she knew what she was doing, she found herself in the driveway of her childhood home. It shocked her that her mind had brought her to this place, the one place she had learned her tactics to run away from. But her feet were moving and she was walking out of the car and up to the front door.

She knocked gently, aware that it was late but for some reason allowing her instincts to kick in.  
The door opened slowly and she was surprised to see her father standing on the other side.

"Lorelai…" He said, just as surprised as her, "What are you doing here? It's late. Is everything alright?"

She smiled sheepishly, "Everything's fine...I just went for a drive and somehow ended up here. I know it's late...I can go if you want."

He shook her head, "Oh no...it's wonderful to see you. Come in. Come in." He said stepping aside to let her in. "You're mother is at a DAR event. I wasn't up for that quite yet but I think I can handle a little company."

Lorelai smiled as she walked into the house, "How are you feeling? You look good."

He smiled as he shut the door behind him, "Getting better each day. I had physical therapy today and they had me try walking a little farther than normal. I'm a little tired but I feel good."

"That's great Dad." She said giving him a sweet smile, "I'm really proud of you."

He smiled, "Well you want a drink? I have been told I'm allowed to indulge from time to time." He said with a glint in his eyes, "And I can't think of a better occasion to have a little whiskey than an impromptu visit from my daughter."

Lorelai smiled as they walked into the Dining room, "Well I won't turn down a drink. But you're sure it's okay for you?"

"I promise. I've been following all my Doctors orders. I won't do anything to jeopardize my health." He said as he lifted a bottle and poured himself a glass, "What would you like?"

She shrugged, "Maybe for once I'll try your drink."

Richard raised an eyebrow and nodded, "Well okay then…"

He poured her a glass too and they clinked their glasses together in a toast. They took their seats in the Parlor and fell into comfortable conversation. They talked about the Inn, they talked about Richard's retirement and the possibility of traveling more. They talked about Rory and he shared the postcards and letters she had sent her grandparents in the last two weeks.

An hour later, and two glasses of whiskey each found them laughing about ridiculous dinner parties gone wrong in the past. Richard felt at ease with his daughter, but he could tell that something was bothering her. He tried not to pry, but since his heart attack he had begun to learn that he had to stop living with regrets.

"So...not that I haven't enjoyed your company. But there as to be some reason you came here. I heard you and Luke were back together...I figured you'd be with him." He said with a shrug, "Is everything okay with you two?"

Lorelai licked her lips nervously, "Oh...it's fine."

He smirked at her, "Lorelai I'm your father. I know the look on your face when you're lying. So spill it." He said as he began to pour her another glass.

Lorelai scrunched her nose up, "We've never been a very talkative family…"

"Well maybe we should start to be." He said putting the top on the bottle as he leaned back in his chair. "I'm not getting any younger. You have questions...ask away my dear."

She was quiet for a moment, "When I was little...we had fun. Sometimes...you let loose a little and you'd play with me. You'd just be my Dad...but then Mom would come in or a maid and you'd go back to being Richard Gilmore the businessman." She reached for her glass and looked back up at him, "Why?"

He sighed, "Well we're just jumping right in then aren't we?" He smiled sadly when she just stared back at him, "Lorelai...I made a lot of mistakes as a father. But I didn't really know what I was doing. I just did what my father did...I assumed it was enough and I know now that it wasn't."

"You weren't a bad father. You provided for Mom and I and gave us everything we needed." She said feeling her heart began to break, "You did the best you could."

He shook his head, "I could have done better." He sighed sadly, "I used to get mad at you because I thought you were intentionally trying to rebel against what your Mother and I wanted. But somewhere along the line...probably after you left with Rory I realized you didn't do it on purpose. You were just trying to be yourself and we wouldn't let you."

She swallowed hard, "I was no saint Dad. I know I disappointed you. I wasn't the daughter you wanted or expected."

If Richard hadn't recently had heart surgery he would have been sure that his heart was breaking in two, "Oh Lorelai...you were never a disappointment to me. I have always been proud to be your father."

She sniffled sadly, "Yeah...I'm sure you were real proud when your 16 year old daughter came home to tell you she was pregnant."

He sighed, "Sure...it wasn't my plan but that didn't mean I hated you or was disappointed. It happened. You could have had Rory and ignored your responsibilities. But you didn't. You took a difficult situation and turned it around. You worked hard and provided a better life for your daughter than I gave you and I had all the money in the world."

"Dad…" She whispered as she shifted on the couch.

He shook his head, "You have always been a hard worker. And you were always so full of life. I never fully appreciated that...but you amazed me Lorelai." He smiled, "In fact...I want to show you something."

She watched him stand up quickly and began to walk towards his office "Where are you going?"

"Come with me." He said pointing his cane towards his office, "You'll see."

Lorelai quickly grabbed her drink and then followed him back to his office. She closed the door behind her and watched as he went to the closet. He was humming as he reached up to the top shelf and pulled something down.

"Here take this." He said with a smile as he held out a box.

Lorelai quickly put her drink down on his desk and reached for the box in his hands. "What's in here?" She turned and saw him pull down two more boxes before walking them over to the desk and putting them down. "Dad?"

He smiled at her and opened the first box, "Ah...let's see here." He chuckled as he lifted something out of the box, "Do you remember making this for me?"

Lorelai looked at his hands and saw a cardboard cut out tie with the words "Happy Fathers Day" written on the front. "Wow...um barely."

"You were seven." He said with a laugh, "You said you didn't know what to get me other than a tie and didn't have a ride to the mall so you made one instead."

He handed it to her and she took it, shock written on her face as he reached into the box, "Oh and this! Do you remember this?" He said laughing even harder. "This was at one of your Mother's big DAR event around Christmas...and you came parading into it with tinsel wrapped around your dress she had sent out to France for you."

Lorelai took the picture from him, "Dad...what is this stuff?"

He smirked and reached into the box again, "And this was from your 13 birthday. I asked you to write down your life goals and this is what you wrote."

Lorelai's face flushed with embarrassment, "Oh God...I'm afraid to look."

He nudged her and handed her the paper to her, "Take a look."

Lorelai took a deep breath and looked down at the paper, she laughed as she read the first one, "Meet and marry Bono or David Bowie." She clucked her tongue, "First thing didn't happen...what a bummer."

He laughed and tapped the paper in her hands, "Keep going."

She shifted nervously and continued to read, "Hm...number 2 - Find a career that makes me happy."

He smiled at her, "Does the Inn make you happy?"

Lorelai's smile began to fill her face, "Very much so."

He nodded, "Okay...keep going." He said pointing at the paper again.

She cleared her throat and read, "Number 3 - fall in love with a good man." She swallowed hard and he urged her on, "Number 4 - Be a good mother." She sniffled, "Dad…"

He nudged her arm again, "Two more things. What do they say?"

She sighed, "Number 5 - Make Mom and Dad proud. Number 6 - Be happy."

He smiled and took the paper from her, "So...you've got a career you love. You've got a good man you love. And you are an incredible Mother. You make me very proud each day and your Mother even though it's hard for her to admit. Are you happy?"

She glanced over at him, "I...I think I could be. But I find stupid ways to destroy that possibility."

Richard nodded slowly, "Well you won't be marrying Bono or David Bowie and I'm okay with that. But I'm not okay with you not being happy."

She glanced down at the boxes, "Is this seriously all full of stuff from me?"

He nodded, "Yes. After you had Rory and left...I started collecting little things to remind me of you. And when I missed you...I'd go into the box and let myself to grieve. And when you came back into our lives...I continued to add to the boxes." He smiled and reached into the second box to reveal the program from her college graduation and the picture they had taken.

"Dad…" She said swallowing hard as the emotions overtook her. "I don't know what to say…"

Richard turned and leaned his hip against the desk, "Lorelai...these past few months I realized in some ways this is my second chance. And...I meant all those things I said to you at Rory's party. It takes an extraordinary woman to inspire that many people to do something like they did for that party. I know you don't think you are good enough...and that is partially your Mother's and my fault. But you should know that you are good enough...you've grown into an amazing woman and I am so proud of you. I feel lucky to be able to call you my daughter."

The damn quickly broke and Lorelai threw herself into his arms, "Dad…"

He held her tight against him and rubbed her back, "It's alright…"

She pulled away, "I just wanted so bad to be the daughter you wanted me to be. To be the Mother Rory wanted me to be...to be the woman that Luke wanted. But I'm afraid that being myself isn't good enough."

"Lorelai...you are good enough. You've always been good enough. Rory adores you...you've given her everything she's ever needed with very little help. And Luke…" He smiled affectionately at her, "I've never met a man more devoted to a woman in my life. After everything you have been through he's still right beside you. He loves you for you. You just have to let him in." Richard said giving her arm a squeeze, "You deserve to find that great love that you wanted...and you deserve to be happy."

"I want to be happy." She said with a sniffle, "I really do…"

"Then just let it happen." Richard said, "We've all wasted so much damn time trying to be what we think everyone wants us to be. It's time we just be who we are."

Lorelai smiled up at him, "Man...that heart attack did a lot for you, huh?"

He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders thoughtfully, "It gave me a different outlook on life."

Lorelai took a deep breath and looked back at the boxes in front of her, "What else is in here?" Her heart leapt in her chest when she saw an old photograph on the bottom of the box, "Wow…"

Richard smiled when he saw her pick up a picture of the first time he ever held her in the hospital, "You were so small…"

Lorelai glanced up at him, "I've never seen this picture before."

He smiled, "Back then we didn't have a lot of copies. And I wanted it for myself...I had it framed in my office at work. But awhile back I brought it back here."

She looked further into the box and laughed when she pulled out an old report card from grade school, "You even kept this stuff?"

He smiled, "Of course! You are so smart and I was proud of you. Still am."

She glanced over at him, "Thank you for showing me all this...it means alot to me."

He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head, "I should have told you all this a long time ago. If it can help you now...I'm happy to do it." He watched her glance further into the boxes, "Not that I don't enjoy spending this time together...but I'm beginning to fade a bit. I'm quite tired. Will you be okay if I head up to bed?"

She nodded, "Sure. I'm fine."

"You've had a lot to drink...feel free to stay the night." He said as he walked towards the door, "Or...call for a ride. You can leave the jeep here if you need too." He said turning back to face her.

She swallowed hard as he walked away, "Dad?"

"Call him." Richard said as he winked at her, "You'll regret it if you don't. Goodnight Lorelai. Don't be a stranger." He said as he walked out of the room and towards the stairs.

Lorelai stood still for a moment letting the last hour wash over her. She had never realized how much she had needed to hear her father say those things. To feel and see his approval of her meant more than anything. It it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She sat down at his desk and began to go through the boxes, she cried and laughed at all the memories good and bad. It was finally time to let go of all that pain.

After a half hour, she picked up the phone on her father's desk and dialed the number to Luke's apartment. When there was no answer, she began to panic but wondered if he was still at the house. He had said he would be...but she wasn't sure if he had meant it. She had run away once again and she wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to talk to her again.

She took a deep breath and dialed the number to her own home, after two rings she heard his deep voice. " _Hello?"_

She breathed a sigh of relief and leaned further into her father's chair. "Hey...it's me. Did I wake you up?"

 _She heard him shift on the other end, "No. I've been awake...just waiting for you to come home." He paused, "Are you coming home?"_

She sighed, "I've uh...had a bit to drink and don't think it's a good idea for me to drive."

 _The wheels started turning his head and he spoke quickly without thinking, "Where are you? Are you okay?"_

"I'm fine. I'm actually...at my parents." She said with a laugh knowing he would be shocked by her words.

 _"Your parents? You're kidding…" He said with a grumble. "Last place I expected you to go."_

She laughed, "Surprised the hell out of me too...but it turned out to be a good thing. I had a good talk with my Dad…Mom's out for the night."

 _"Do you want me to come get you?" He asked curiously._

She swallowed nervously, "Would you? I know it's not right of me to ask anymore of you...I shouldn't have walked away tonight. And I'm sorry."

 _"We'll talk about it when I get there, okay? I'm getting in the car now." He said quickly as he stood up, "Just...stay there okay?"_

"I'm not going anywhere." She said honestly, "I'll be here."

 _"Good. See you soon." She heard him say as he hung up the phone._

Lorelai took a deep breath, hung up the phone and rifled through the boxes some more. She let more memories wash over her and was thankful that she had wound up here. She was so lost in her thoughts, she was surprised at how quickly she heard the truck in the driveway. She stood up, walked out of the office and found her feet running out the front door.

She launched herself into his arms and held him tight, he caught her just like he always did. "I'm so sorry Luke." She whispered.

He held her tight, "It's okay...I know it's hard."

She pulled away slowly, "I think coming here was good...it made me realize you were right about a lot of things. And...made me think it all through."

He nodded slowly and brushed her tears away "Well that's good…I'm glad."

She nodded and reached for his hand to pull him towards the house, "Come with me. I want to show you something."

Luke silently followed her and walked into the very large and intimidating house. It still amazed him that she had grown up here, it didn't fit with her personality. She led him towards the back office, one room he had never really been in.

He glanced at the boxes, "What is all this?"

Lorelai smiled at him, "It's my life stuffed into three boxes."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "What do you mean?" He asked as they rounded the desk.

"These are all pieces of me...pieces of my past. And my Dad kept all of it. He has everything." She said laughing as she reached for an old card, "Birthday cards...gifts. Pictures. All of it."

Luke smiled at how happy she looked, "Wow…"

"I mean I did this for Rory. I have pretty much everything...every piece of artwork. Every big report. Pictures and gifts. It seemed like the right thing to do. But I never in a million years dreamed my Dad would have done this for me." She said glancing down at the boxes.

Luke nodded in understanding, "He loves you...even if he doesn't say it."

Lorelai smiled sadly, "I think I'm beginning to realize it…" She paused and nodded slowly before whispering, "I'm beginning to realize a lot of things actually..."

Luke leaned against the desk and smiled at her hoping it would encourage her to keep talking, he knew that this was difficult for her. "Like what?"

She swallowed hard and sat down in her father's chair again, "For my whole life...I felt like I was disappointing people. My parents expected to have the perfect child...the girl that would wear the cotillion dresses and marry someone with money...go to Yale and follow in their footsteps. And from the moment I was born...I was the complete opposite of that." She sighed and forced herself to keep talking, "I was everything they weren't...I was loud and abrasive. I said what I wanted to say, did what I wanted to do and wanted more to life than dinner parties and champagne toasts when someone got a 20,000 dollar raise."

He reached a hand out and rubbed her arm gently, "There's nothing wrong with being different Lorelai...I love that you love life. You make everything better by just walking into a room with that smile of yours."

She wiped at her eyes, "But...I've always felt like I needed to be someone else for everyone. For my parents...for my friends. For Rory...and definitely in all my relationships. With Max...I held back because I was afraid to show him the real me. I didn't think he'd like me if he really knew me. I let him think I wanted the same things as him because I was tired of being alone and I thought I'd be okay with it. But I wasn't happy…"

He nodded, "I know…"

"Even with you...I felt like I had to be perfect." She said as she swallowed her tears, "I needed to be perfect so you wouldn't regret me."

Luke sighed and knelt down in front of her, "Lorelai...no one is perfect. I just want you to be you. That's the woman I fell in love with…"

"But I didn't know that...I didn't understand that. Because I don't love myself Luke." She whimpered softly as the words left her mouth, "So I don't see how anyone could ever love me. It's too hard to admit how many times I've screwed up because I have to admit it to myself first. And I wanted so badly to make you happy. And knowing how long you had waited for us to be together...I was afraid to let you down. I was afraid you'd get to a point where you realized I wasn't worth the wait." She said in a soft broken voice.

"God Lorelai…" He said finally understanding her pain she had been feeling for so many years, "You have always been worth the wait. I'd wait forever if you needed me too…"

"I wanted to do it the way you wanted it. So when April came around...I wanted to make sure it went the way you needed it too. And I just assumed that at some point you'd figure out how to fit her into our lives. I was afraid that if I said something...I'd look weak or insecure or you'd get mad at me and think I was being selfish. I wanted to make our life perfect so you'd be comfortable enough to come to me when you were ready. But then you didn't...and I panicked. Because I finally had this one good thing I wanted so bad and I felt it slipping away. So instead of being rational about it I reacted. And I went to...him." She said looking down feeling ashamed.

"Lorelai…" He said feeling his heart begin to race.

"I know it was wrong. But in some way...Christopher is one of the only people that has ever seen me for me. Has ever really known me. When we were young...he was the only one that got it. He was the only one that listened. I knew that no matter what...no matter how badly I screwed up he'd still be there. I knew it wasn't right for us to be together...but I needed to see someone who loved me flaws and all." She said quickly, "I don't even know if that makes any sense. But it's just how I felt in that moment. I needed to feel wanted…"

He nodded slowly, "I think I can understand that…" He sighed and stood up, he lifted her slowly and sat down on the chair before pulling her onto his lap. "But Lorelai...I accept you for who you are. I always have. We're going to have moments where we fight...moments where we disagree. But it doesn't mean I don't love you. I'd never regret being with you because you're what I want. You're' the one person that really knows me Lorelai...and that's scary."

She nodded, "I know...it scares me that you know me too. Because I don't think I'm worth it. But my Dad said I have to start realizing I am…"

He gave her an affectionate squeeze, "You are Lorelai. To hear you say that you don't think you're worth it...that you don't love yourself it breaks my heart. I wish you could see what I see when I look at you."

She swallowed hard and wrapped her arms around his neck, "It just surprises me that you'd want someone like me. I'm loud...and stubborn. I'm messy and I eat more junk food than anyone else in the world. I'm a caffeine addict and a perpetual screw up-"

He shook his head adamantly, "I agree with the first few things but you are not a perpetual screw up. I'm not going to let you beat yourself up here."

She sighed, "But Luke...look at my track record. Pregnant at 16...two failed engagements and one ridiculously stupid marriage to the complete wrong man."

He shook his head, "We all make mistakes Lorelai. It's part of life. I mean look at me...I've spent most of my life pushing people away because I was to afraid to let anyone in. I got married to a woman I never loved and could never love. I had a kid that I knew nothing about for 12 years. And when I finally had the one thing I ever really wanted I let it slip away...I'm not innocent here either."

She leaned against him and sighed sadly, "But I want to be perfect for you."

Luke squeezed her hips and nuzzled the side of her face. "You are perfect to me. Flaws and all."

"That makes no sense." She said with a laugh, "To be perfect means to be without flaws."

"Not in my book." He said adamantly, "You are enough Lorelai. You're more than enough for me. And I want this to work...and we've been doing a lot of good work. I'm so glad that you're opening up to me about all this...but we need to keep it up. You can't be afraid to talk to me. And I can't push you away. Okay?"

She nodded slowly, "I'm trying…"

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek gently, "I know you are." He paused and rubbed her back, "Can I ask you something?"

She turned towards him slowly, "Yes."

"When Rory and you were fighting...was that part of all these feelings too? You wouldn't talk to me about it. You wouldn't let me in." He said sadly, "And I wanted to make it better for you."

She sighed sadly, before nodding in response. "Yes. It all falls back to this. I felt like I had failed again. I had failed Rory and let her slip away and I didn't know what to do. I was mad at myself and felt like once again I was disappointing everyone around me. So it was easier to not talk about it...to pretend I was okay with it."

He nodded, "I can understand that...but Rory is an adult now. She made her own choices. You didn't force her to buy a yacht or drop out of school. I could have helped if you had let me."

She nodded, "I know...and I know you wanted too. You proved that when you started plotting a way to kidnap her and force her to go to school." She said with a laugh and then her smile faltered slightly as she felt the weight of her words wash over her, "And in that moment I had never loved you more...I had never realized how much I needed you. So...I asked you to marry me."

He smiled at her, and answered honestly. "You surprised the hell out of me."

"Surprised me too." She said with a laugh as she ran a hand over his cheek affectionately, "But I had to have you there Luke. Forever. I didn't handle it right but that's why I asked Luke. I wanted you. I needed you. And after all this time still want you and still need you. I always will.

"That's good." He said with a smirk as he leaned up to kiss her gently, but he pulled away slowly and gave her a stern look. "There's one more part of this though…"

She grimaced knowing where this was headed, "The running away…"

He nodded slowly, "Yes. You can't do that anymore. Just like I can't run away from things. We need to face them head on no matter how hard it is. You can't run from me."

She nodded, "I know...it's just what I've always done. And it's hard to break that habit...I ran when I had Rory because I didn't see an alternative. And I was ashamed...not of Rory but of once again disappointing my parents. I ran when things went bad with Max...with you." She sighed sadly, "I know it's childish...and unfair to you. But it's the only way I've ever been able to deal with things...if I ran then I could just start over and try to forget about the past. Never really worked...but it was my only real solution."

He nodded, "I know it's hard to break old habits but we're going to have to try." He saw the apprehension on her face and he smiled, "Tell you what...I was a track star back in the day right?" He said with a smirk.

She turned towards him and smiled, "Yeah? What about it?"

"Well I still consider myself a runner…" He shifted slightly, "If you feel the need to run...you tell me first and I'll catch you. Got it?"

She took a deep breath and turned to bury her face in the side of his neck, "I love you."

He held her close and kissed the side of her face, "I love you too. Don't forget that." He said giving her a gentle squeeze for emphasis. "Now...I want to see embarrassing pictures of you when you were a kid." He said lifting her off his lap with ease as he looked into one of the boxes wanting to break the tension and give her a reason to smile.

She laughed and pulled at his arms, "No! You burned all yours so that's not fair!"

He snorted and looked back at her, "Lorelai...you saw the damn picture of my in my track uniform at the High School. If that's not embarrassing I don't know what is…"

She giggled, "How could I forget about Butch! My man was a fox back in High School. Still is!"

He groaned and pointed to his head, "Yeah...silver fox now. I'm not getting any younger!"

She smirked and hugged him from behind as he began to sort through her pictures, "Then I guess I'll have to make an honest man out of you sooner rather than later."

He smirked as he pulled out a picture of Lorelai trying on her mother's wedding dress, "You gonna wear this at the ceremony?"

Lorelai gasped, "Oh my God!" She tried to grab the picture from him, "I can't believe he has this!"

"We have to make copies of these." He said as he pulled away from her and pulled another one out of a young Lorelai covered in pasta sauce and spaghetti stuck to her cheek, "Oh look...your eating habits haven't changed a bit!"

She scoffed, "Hey!" She yelled in protest.

She tried to grab for the picture but he ran around the desk and grabbed another as he went, "Aww 80s Lorelai...nice hair!" He said with a loud laugh.

"Luke!" She said trying to sound angry but failing when she laughed, "I'm calling Liz when we get home. I know she has to have some pictures of you I can mock!"

"You can try." He said pulling out another photo, his smirk faded as he smiled down at a baby Lorelai being held by her father for the first time. "Now this...this is un-mockable…"

She swallowed hard and glanced down at the photo she had seen for the first time earlier that night, she glanced back at him and whispered honestly. "Luke…I want that. With you…" Hoping he understood what she meant.

He smiled and turned back to her to place a gentle kiss on her lips, "I do too."

She sighed and leaned against him, finally taking a moment to breath. "Take me home?"

He nodded slowly, kissed her forehead and put the picture back in the box. "Let's go. I hope you know I'll be asking your parents for more pictures of you though. Those were golden."

She laughed and pushed him towards the door, "I'll meet you at the car in a second."

"What are you doing?" Luke asked as he turned back to her.

She smiled as she sat down at her father's desk, "Just something I need to do real quick. Be there in a minute."

He gave her a gentle smile and then walked out of the office and over to the front door. Lorelai turned back to the boxes, she rummaged through them until she found what she was looking for. She took out the list that the 13 year old her had written her life goals on. She put a check next to numbers 2-5 and wrote next to 6 that said (on the right track to being happy). Then she crossed out number 1 and wrote 'Tell my father how much he means to me as often as I can.'

She took the paper, placed it on the middle of his desk and then put the boxes away where her father had taken them from. She turned the lights off in the office and walked out into the foyer. She was surprised to see her Dad standing at the top of the stairs with a smile on his face.

"Everything okay?" He said with a knowing smile, "I see Luke's truck outside."

Lorelai smiled at him, "We're working on it. Said a lot of things I needed to say...and that's thanks to you."

He shook his head, "It's always been in you Lorelai...you just needed a little reassurance. And as your father it is my job to give that to you."

Lorelai took a deep breath and stepped closer to him, "Thank you Dad...I didn't realize how much I needed to hear all that."

Richard walked down the steps and put his hand on his shoulder, "Let me know if you ever need to hear it again."

She reached up and gave him a tight hug, "I love you Dad. Just in case you didn't know."

He hugged her back, "I did know. But it's nice to hear." She pulled away and he cleared his throat nervously, "And I love you too…"

She smiled as she stepped towards the door before turning back to him, "Hey...what are you doing next Monday? Do you want to bring Mom for lunch at the Inn?"

He smiled, surprised by her words, "Well...that would be very nice."

Lorelai smiled, "Great. Have Mom call me and we can set up a time. Now go get some rest…"

"Goodnight Lorelai." He said as she opened the door.

"Goodnight Dad." She said as she gave him a gentle wave before exiting the house.

She smiled at Luke as she climbed into the truck, "Everything okay?" He asked her.

She nodded and slid across the seat to be closer to him, "Yep. Just wanted to say goodbye to my Dad."

He nodded and began to pull out of the driveway, "Good."

"Hey Luke?" She asked as he turned onto the road.

He turned towards her and put a hand around her shoulder as he continued to drive, "Yes?"

"Thank you for loving me...despite all the crazy." She said with a sheepish grin.

He smiled at her and kissed the side of her face, "I had no choice Lorelai. You ran into my Diner like a bat out of a hell and for whatever reason I fell hard for you."

She smirked, "You were pining for me…"

He rolled his eyes, "God...I am never going to live that down."

She giggled and wrapped her arm around his to snuggle up to him, "Nope. Never. In fact I think we should frame the horoscope." She paused slightly and bit her lip, "You...you still have it, right?"

He stopped at a red light and reached into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet. He handed it to her as he began to drive again once the light turned green. With trembling hands, Lorelai opened the wallet and closed her eyes, only opening one to peek into the pocket. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the familiar worn paper.

"It's still there…" She whispered more to herself than him.

He nodded as he continued to drive, "Still there…"

She closed the wallet, placed it on her lap and put a hand over his heart, "And I'm still here?"

He took a deep breath, put his hand over hers and then brought it up to his lips, "Always will be."

She smiled and closed her eyes as she leaned against his shoulder. For the first time in years she was beginning to let herself believe she really deserved that happiness she had always wanted. And here in his rusty green truck, Lorelai had never felt happier in her lie. There was no need to run anymore...not when she had all she needed right beside her. 

* * *

**It was always very clear to me that Lorelai never thought she was good enough for anyone. As strong as she always was, she was also very insecure in my opinions which of course lead her to make mistakes. This was just my interpretation of it and how she could work through it. Hope you liked it! Thanks! :)**


	8. Better Than Love

**Here's the next one-shot! It is based around the second episode of season 7 after they see each other in the grocery store. I wish that despite what Lorelai did...Luke had fought for her. I wish she had fought for him too. Lorelai screwed up, but so did he. And I think they could have fixed it if they really tried. So this is just an idea I came up with...hope you like it. Based on the song "Better Than Love" by Griffin House which is one of my absolute favorite songs. You should check it out. It screams Lorelai and Luke in my opinion! In fact a lot of his songs remind me of them so I'm sure there will be another one shot using one of his songs soon!**

 _Honey, when you doubt my love for you_  
 _Look into my eyes what Im going through_  
 _Even if we change and fall out of_  
 _You hold my hand and its better than love_  
 _You save me from myself_  
 _You got my back when I need help_  
 _Its no one else in the world_  
 _You will always be my girl_  
 _You will always be, you will always be_  
 _You will always be my girl_  
 _Sometimes dreams they don't come true_  
 _I was scared of that, the night when I met you_  
 _Well, I stayed patient and I was kind_  
 _Telling you to take your time_  
 _Turn my life around_  
 _You made it okay to let you down_  
 _Theres no one else in the world_  
 _You will always be my girl_  
 _You will always be, you will always be_  
 _You will always be my girl_  
 _So when Im walking down the road and feeling bad_  
 _Cant understand the things you do_  
 _Nothing turns out the way we planned_  
 _You're still my baby and Im still your man_  
 _Save me from myself_  
 _You got my back when I need help_  
 _Its no one else in the world_  
 _You will always be my girl_  
 _You will always be, you will always be_  
 _You will always be my girl_

* * *

Luke felt his arms moving as he reached into the freezer to get the food he needed to make for him, Liz and TJ. Liz's words were still echoing in his head about needing to be in the same wormhole with Lorelai. He had heard the words coming out of his mouth about them not being right for each other...but he didn't want to believe it. But sadly, he had too.

Just then he looked up and and saw the very woman he was thinking about, "Hey."

He saw her take a deep breath before she spoke, "Well, I guess both of us avoiding Doose's didn't work out that well, huh?"

He shook his head and put his food in his basket, "Well, I wasn't avoiding Doose's. Just the closest market to Liz and T.J.'s house."

Her lips formed a flat line and she nodded quickly, "Right. Because you're not affected by this. You're not mad. I forgot."

He sighed and stepped closer to her, "No, I...I was mad. I was really mad."

She nodded again, "Yeah, I kind of figured."

He looked at her sadly as he continued to speak, "I know I was a jerk. I was just...mad."

She shook her head adamantly and pressed on, "I was the jerk. I was such a jerk."

He felt the words coming out of his mouth before he thought it through, "I'm not mad anymore. Well…" He sighed, "That's not true, but... I won't be, you know, eventually. Really."

She stared at him, not believing his words, "Yeah?"

He nodded slowly, "Yeah…"

She swallowed hard and nodded once, "Okay."

He stared at her for a moment and once again he started to speak without really thinking it through, "It's not your fault. It's not my fault. It's just, we're not right together, you know? You're you, I'm me. I just… want to stop pretending we're something else. You don't belong with me. You belong with someone like Christopher. and I just... let's just stop fighting it, okay? And you go back to being Lorelai Gilmore. I'll go back to being the guy in the diner who pours your coffee."

The look on her face was one of pure defeat, her eyes were glassed over but she stayed strong, "My hand's getting cold." She muttered as she held up her carton of ice cream.

He tried to smile, "Okay."

Her eyes didn't meet his and she didn't smile, "Okay."

He watched her walk past him, not unlike that night not long ago. For a brief moment he let himself wonder what would have happened if he had stopped her from walking away. Would they still be together? Would they have gotten married? Would he not feel like someone had thrown his heart into a blender on high?

He sighed and shook his head, there was no using wondering about that now. He had let her walk away...and she had gone to him. She had slept with him. And now...they were over. With a heavy heart, he finished getting his groceries and made his way through the check-out line in a daze. He walked out to the parking lot and began to fill the truck with the bags, but he stopped when he noticed something lying on the ground a few feet away.

In the dark, he couldn't quite make it out but something about it pulled him closer to it. He leaned down and picked up the object and noticed it was a wallet. A vaguely familiar wallet. Curiously, he opened it and his heart jumped in his throat when he saw the driver's license. Staring right up at him were the brilliant blue eyes and smile of none other than Lorelai Gilmore.

"Go figure…" He muttered angrily, of course he would have to look at the picture of the woman he was trying desperately to forget.

With a groan, he pocketed the wallet and climbed into the truck, slamming the door harder than necessary. He drove back to Liz's and walked in with the groceries.

"He's a savior!" Liz said happily as Luke put the food on the table, "What are you making?"

"Actually...would it be okay if I head home? I'm not feeling so great all of a sudden." Luke said trying not to meet her eyes.

Liz frowned and stepped closer to him, "Aw man...I shouldn't have brought up Lorelai. I'm sorry. You don't have to go! I swear I won't mention her again!"

Luke shook his head, "No. You were fine. I just have a headache...need some sleep. Gotta get up early in the morning for deliveries so I might as well head to bed early."

Liz sighed, "Luke…"

He looked up at her and tried to put on his best face, "Liz...I'm fine. I swear...it's not the first time I've gone through a breakup. I'll live."

She shrugged sadly and pressed on, "Sure...you've had breakups but like this. Not with someone you really lo-"

"Liz. I gotta go." Luke said trying to cut her off before she could finish her sentence. "I'll call you tomorrow and we'll try again with dinner, okay?" He kissed her forehead and began walking towards the door. "Bye sis."

Liz sighed sadly as she watched him go and wished she could find a way to get through to him.

* * *

Back at Lorelai's she had put her ice cream in the freezer, suddenly not able to actually eat it. Seeing Luke at made the pain of losing him ever worse than before. She sat down on the couch and tried to keep herself breathing normally, Luke had basically just said they were never right together. Was that true? Did he believe that? Did she believe that?

No. She did not believe that. But it had to be that way for now because it's what he wanted and there was no way he would ever forgive her for cheating. Not that she blamed him. Nicole had cheated on him and she saw how much that had hurt him. She had to believe that this was worse.

She leaned against the back of the couch and tried to find something to think about that didn't involve Luke Danes. Sadly...every little thing at the moment reminded her of that very man. She was about to walk upstairs and just call it a night when she heard a knock on the door. She groaned, and thought about ignoring it for a moment. But she knew that whoever it was would see her car and all the lights in the house.

Her feet felt like lead as she made her way towards the door and opened it, she was shocked to see Kirk standing outside with roses in his hands, "Kirk?"

He smiled sheepishly at her, "Hello Lorelai. I know it's late...but it took me all day to work up the courage to come here so it had to be now."

Lorelai leaned against the door frame and stared at him in shock, "Kirk…"

She was so confused by his visit that she didn't seem to notice Luke walking up the path of her driveway. He had parked far away as to not signal any neighbors about his arrival not wanting to feed the gossip tree. Luke stopped when he saw Kirk standing in Lorelai's doorstep with flowers, he ducked behind Lorelai's jeep and watched in confusion and curiosity as the scene unfolded in front of him.

"I heard about you and Luke…" Kirk said, "And it got me to start thinking about a lot of things...about me and Lulu."

Lorelai glanced around, "Where is Lulu? Shouldn't you be at home with her? Are those flowers for her?"

"No. They are for you." Kirk said holding them out for her.

Lorelai swallowed hard and took them, "Oh. Wow. Kirk they are beautiful..that is so sweet. But um...why are you bringing me flowers?"

"Because I'd like to take you out on a date." He said flatly.

Her eyes bugged and Luke practically fell over as he crouched behind the jeep, "Kirk...um...I don't understand. You and Lulu are in a relationship."

"I broke up with her about an hour ago." Kirk said with a shrug, "Now that you're single again I thought I'd give it a shot."

"Oh Kirk…" Lorelai said sadly as she put the flowers down and pushed him onto the porch, "Why would you break up with Lulu? You guys were so great together."

Luke watched as they sat down on the top step together, "Well you and Luke were great together too but you broke up."

Lorelai swallowed hard and for a moment Luke thought he saw tears beginning to grow in her eyes, "Kirk...Luke and I…" She sighed and played with her hands nervously as she tried to find the right words, "It's complicated...it just didn't work out."

"But you guys seemed so perfect for one another." Kirk said, "It seemed like it was always going to lead to you being together."

Lorelai smiled sadly, "Yeah well...things change…"

"Do you not love him?" Kirk asked quickly, "Is that the problem?"

Luke's heart was pounding in his chest as he waited for her to answer, "Kirk...of course I love Luke." Her voice cracked as she continued to speak, "I will always love Luke…"

Luke had to kneel down on the ground because his legs were giving out from underneath him. Her words cut through him like a knife and he suddenly felt both anger and sadness of all that had happened between them.

"Then I don't understand why you broke up…" Kirk said sadly, "If you love him then why did you break up?"

She opened her mouth to answer but decided now was a good time to switch gears on him, "Well...don't you love Lulu? Why the heck did you break up with her?"

"I do love Lulu. She's great…" He said with a shrug, "But I sort of always wondered what it would be like to be with you. Plus I figured maybe love wasn't enough if you and Luke could end."

Lorelai frowned and put a hand on his arm, "Kirk…"

"Although I suppose it was stupid of me to come here thinking you'd give me a chance. I have asked you out before…" He said with a shrug, "You're way out of my league."

"Oh Kirk...you're a great guy. Any girl would be luck to have you." She said trying to soothe him, "I just...I don't necessarily feel that way about you."

Kirk looked over at her and stared at her for a moment, "You're very beautiful you know."

Lorelai smiled sweetly at him, "Thank you Kirk. That's very sweet of you to say."

"And you're funny. I don't always get your humor but I know that you're funny. Everyone says so. And you're a hard worker...and a great Mom. I'd be luck to have kids with you." Kirk said.

From where Luke sat, he wondered why it was so easy for Kirk to say all those things he should have told her. Why was it so easy for some people to express themselves and for others it was like pulling teeth?

"You're really smart and kind. You are always there to help out when people need you." Kirk pointed out, "You're just...you're great Lorelai."

She felt the tears burning in her eyes at her words, only Kirk would show up in a moment when she felt her worst and begin to build her back up again. "Wow Kirk...I...I don't know what to say. I mean I'm flattered you feel that way...but I think you are giving me entirely to much credit. I'm not that great...in fact I'm a bit of a mess."

Luke's heart ached at her words. He knew that despite her confident exterior, she was quite insecure about herself. She never gave herself the credit she really did deserve. All the things that Kirk had said were true and there was even more to Lorelai than all that. She was such a good woman. Yes she had made a mistake when going to Christopher, but he wasn't exactly innocent in all this either when he stopped to think about it. He had made her feel unwanted. Unloved. He had pushed her to her breaking point...and now here they were.

"Everyone's a bit of a mess." Kirk said with a smile, "I still live with my Mother and I'm a grown man."

Lorelai couldn't help but laugh, "But you're still a good person Kirk. You wouldn't hurt a fly."

"I actually kill flies when I see them. I don not like bugs." Kirk said with a flat tone.

"It's...it's just an expression Kirk. It means…" She paused when she saw that it wouldn't matter what she said, Kirk would stand by his statement. "I still don't really understand why you broke it off with Lulu. What do Luke and I have to do with you two?"

Kirk shrugged, "I always wanted what you guys had…"

"You and Lulu are great together. You make each other happy." She said with a shrug, "Most people would kill to have that…"

"Yeah…" Kirk said nodding, "I mean I do love Lulu. But I have always been afraid to go for things I want. It's not that I don't want Lulu...I just thought…" He turned to look at her, "We're not going on a date are we?"

Lorelai smiled sadly at him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "No Kirk. We're not."

"Is it because I'm too skinny?" He asked, "I try to gain weight but I can't…"

Lorelai laughed a little and shifted to be facing him better, "No Kirk...it's just that I am in NO way ready to be in a relationship. And...I care about our friendship too much to jeopardize it. Plus...I happen to like Lulu a lot. And I know she loves you so I think you should be with her."

"Did you not care about your friendship with Luke?" Kirk questioned quickly.

Luke grimaced at his words and Lorelai sighed, "Of course I cared about our friendship. Why do you think I didn't cross that line with him until 8 years after we met?"

"Because you were both stupid?" Kirk asked turning his head towards her.

Lorelai glanced at him for a moment, "You do have a way of being just very blunt...you never hold back."

Kirk shrugged, "Mother says holding back is a waste of time."

Lorelai smiled, "Guess she's right…" She paused for a moment, "But yes I cared about my friendship with Luke. And it kills me more than anything that ontop of losing my fiancé. I have lost my best friend. But I can't change it…

"Can't you?" Kirk asked with a shrug, "Can't you just tell him how you feel?"

Lorelai's eyes welled up with tears and she shook her head, "No...I'm afraid it's not that easy. I...I messed up big time Kirk. I don't really want to talk about it...but all I can say is that there is no way that Luke would ever forgive me."

"He loves you." Kirk said with a shrug, "Doesn't he?"

Luke waited for her to say yes, she had to say yes. But instead he heard her let out a shaky breath and whisper, "I'm not sure…"

His heart broke into a million pieces, it was already broken before but now it was shattered. How could she not know how he felt about her? Sure he didn't say it...but she could feel it right? I mean the last few months he had been a bit preoccupied, but his feelings for her hadn't changed. She had to know that…

"Why do you say that?" Kirk asked curiously.

Lorelai shrugged, "I mean...it's just…" She sniffled sadly, "Maybe at one point he did...but towards the end I think maybe he changed his mind. And it's okay...that happens. I mean...he didn't really want me around April. He didn't trust me. And that's his choice. So I just...I think his feelings changed. And now he definitely doesn't lo-" She paused and shook her head, "It's just changed…"

"I do love Lulu." Kirk said softly, "That hasn't changed…"

"Then why break up with her?" Lorelai asked again, "Just to ask me out? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me Kirk…"

Kirk sighed, "You and Luke both look so sad...and I don't ever want to feel like that."

"Oh Kirk…" Lorelai said squeezing his arm again, "I know it can be scary sometimes to let someone in but it's so worth it. Despite the pain I feel right now...I wouldn't trade my relationship with Luke for a second. He meant more to me than anyone ever has...more than anyone ever will. And when it was good...it was so good."

Luke leaned his head against the tire of the jeep and for the millionth time in the last few days he wondered how the hell they had gotten to this point. Things had been good. They were good together. But they also had their issues. He had just assumed that love was enough to keep them together...to keep them from falling apart. Boy was he wrong…

"So you'd go through this pain all again just to have him back?" Kirk asked.

Lorelai looked down at her hands again, "I think I would…" She paused and smiled softly, "I know I would…"

"Wow…" Kirk said softly, "You really do love him."

Lorelai wiped at her eyes and laughed sadly, "Kirk…"

"You should tell him that…" Kirk said to her, "Maybe he would change his mind."

Lorelai swallowed hard and stood up, "Kirk...you should go back to Lulu and tell her you made a huge mistake and we're just going through a little midlife crises. Tell her you would walk through fire to make it work with her. Tell her you don't want to be with anyone else but her."

"If Luke said all those things would it make a difference?" Kirk asked as he stood up to face her.

"Kirk...just…" She sighed and leaned against the railing on the porch, "Luke and me are over. We're over okay? We don't need to analyze it and try and make it better because it won't get better. It won't get better. I did it all wrong and I'm trying to make sure that you don't make the same mistakes as I did. Okay?"

"You think i should go back to Lulu?" Kirk asked staring at her.

She nodded slowly, "I think you should go back to Lulu."

"Why? I mean I love her...but I'm just curious." He said with a shrug, "Your opinion matters to me."

Lorelai swallowed hard, "I think you should go back to Lulu because if you're lucky enough to find someone who will put up with all your crap and all your stupid quirks you should hold on to them as tight as possible. You should make sure they never let you go and that you never let them go because the pain...the pain is…" She paused and Luke could feel his heart pounding as the level of her voice escalated, "The pain is unbearable when you lose them...and it makes you do crazy things that you would never in your right mind do. And I don't want you to feel like this Kirk...and I don't want Lulu to feel like this. I want you to do what I couldn't. What I will never be able to do...I want you to love someone with your whole heart and make it work no matter what it takes."

Kirk stared at her and nodded slowly, "Lorelai...I'm really sorry about you and Luke."

She sniffled and rubbed her eyes sadly, "It's not your fault Kirk...it's mine."

"But if you love someone enough...you're supposed to fight for them like you said. So why don't' you fight for Luke?" Kirk asked.

She swallowed hard, "Because I love Luke enough to know that I'm not what he wants. I'm not what he needs. And more than my own happiness...I want him to be happy. I didn't make him happy Kirk...and he deserves to have his chance to find the woman who will."

Luke's heart squeezed in his chest. He really had messed with her emotions. How could she think that she didn't make him happy? She was the one good thing in his life. She had been for a decade now. He made her happier than anyone ever had.

"Wow...you love him enough to let him go even though it will hurt you?" Kirk asked, "That's...that's real love."

She laughed sadly, "Maybe it is." She stepped down and led Kirk to follow her, "Go see Lulu, okay? Talk to her...make it right. Don't be like me and Luke...don't lose your chance because you're afraid. Just...love her. And don't be afraid to tell her...you'll be amazed at how much it means for her to really hear the words."

Luke sighed and cursed himself for being so monosyllabic. How hard was it to say those three words? Why hadn't he just said it?

Kirk stopped and put a hand on her arm, "Are you going to be okay?"

She tried to smile as she spoke, "Eventually yeah...you know once the pain dulls a little I'm sure I'll figure it out. I'll find a way to deal with it…"

Kirk turned to walk away but stopped and turned back to her, "Lorelai…"

She crossed her arms over her chest, "Can you do me a favor Kirk?"

He nodded slowly, "Sure."

She took a deep breath, "I know that you're close to Luke...and that you try and look out for him and I hope you continue to do that. But can you...can you not tell him I said any of this?"

"Why not?" Kirk asked, "Don't you want him to know?"

Lorelai shook her head, "No...it's like I said. I want him to be happy…" She shrugged, "You know Luke...he feels like he needs to fix things sometimes. I don't' want him to feel like he has to...I don't want him to pity me. I want him to move on with his life and just be happy...he'll be happy without me."

"No I won't…" Luke whispered sadly but neither of them heard him.

Kirk nodded slowly and started to walk away again before he turned to look at her again, "For the record...you deserve to be happy too Lorelai."

She swallowed hard and gave him a quick nod, "Thank you Kirk. And thank you for the flowers...you are so sweet. Lulu is a very lucky woman...I'll let her know that if you need any help getting her back. But I don't think you will…"

Kirk smiled and gave her a little wave before he walked down the driveway. Luke watched as Lorelai shivered and wiped her tears away before turning and walking up the porch steps and into the house. His heart was telling him to go after her, to tell her he did love her and she did make him happy. The weight of her wallet was burning in his back pocket telling him to make a move. And yet his head was pounding and telling him it didn't matter.

With a big sigh, he pushed himself off the floor and decided for once to listen to his heart, "It does matter." He whispered as he made his way up the familiar steps.

He stopped when he saw her through the window. She was packing things into boxes. He strained his eyes and then realized she was placing their memories in the boxes. One of his shirts, his favorite spatula, a picture of them. He took a deep breath as he watched her pick up a small black velvet box and wipe at her eyes before she placed it inside with the rest of his things.

He forced his feet to move forward and he began to knock on the door. And suddenly he was transported to their last break up when he had done this exact thing. He had come to her unannounced, knocked on the door and pulled her in for a kiss. They didn't' discuss anything, he wouldn't let them. He just wanted it to be better, he wanted them to be better and he assumed they would be. But yet here they were in worse condition than they were back then.

The door opened and he saw the shock on her face when she saw him, "Luke...hi. Um...what are you doing here?"

The panic had begun to rise in her throat. Kirk had not been gone that long...he couldn't have gone to Luke and told him what she had said already. Right? He had said he wouldn't. Plus when she saw him at the Market he said something about Liz and TJ. She assumed he would be with them, why was he here.

He took a deep breath and reached into his back pocket and held out her wallet, "Found this in the parking lot at the grocery store…"

Lorelai swallowed hard and took the wallet from him, she tried her best to have no skin contact with him but it had failed miserable. "Oh. Wow. I...I didn't even realize that I lost it." She flipped it open and saw her license, "That would have been a total pain." She tried to smile as she looked up at him, "Thanks for uh...bringing it back."

He nodded slowly, "No big deal."

She let her eyes fall to the porch between them, afraid to meet his eyes, "Well...um I really appreciate it. So...thanks." She tried to look up at him but her eyes betrayed her and she looked away again, "It's getting late...you should go. I'm sure you have to get up early and-"

"I heard everything you and Kirk talked about." Luke blurted out quickly because he didn't want his fear of opening up ruin them again.

Lorelai's mouth opened in surprise, "I...Kirk…" She shook her head quickly, "Um...you were here? I didn't...I didn't notice. I…" She looked around feeling her cheeks flushed, "Luke you should go…"

"You did make me happy. And I love you." He said matter of factly, "And I hate that you ever doubted that. That's on me."

The tears started falling and she shook her head "Luke...don't. Okay? This is exactly why I didn't want Kirk to tell you about it. I don't want you here because you pity me. I cheated on you Luke...and not only did I cheat on you...I did it with the one person you hated most. The one person you were most insecure about. I did this."

He shook his head, "I don't want to talk about him."

"Luke...just go." She said trying to shut the door.

He put his foot in the door, "I'm not going to just go. I can't just give up like I did before. I mean shit Lorelai...I just let you walk away!"

She rested her head against the door and shook her head, "You said yourself...we're just not right for each other."

"I didn't mean that." Luke said shaking his head, "I was just angry and hurt."

"And you have every right to be angry and hurt. I betrayed you." She said as the sobs wracked her body, "Luke just go...be happy, okay? That's all I want...that's all I ever wanted."

"Is that why you didn't shake me and realize what I was screwing up? You thought I'd be happier without you? You thought I'd be happy when you were so sad?" He asked bending to look at her straight in the eyes.

She closed her eyes and tried to take deep steadying breaths, "I just...I thought...I mean I didn't…"

"I don't know how to talk about this kind of stuff." Luke said in a choked voice, "But hearing you talk to Kirk...hearing how much you thought I didn't want you." He shook his head, "That killed me...I think it hurt more than hearing about you and…"

She laughed sadly, "I doubt it." She wiped at her eyes and stood up straighter, "Luke...you need to go. Go be with April...find someone who isn't as much a fuck up as I am. You deserve so much more."

She tried to shut the door again but he pushed his way into the house, "No."

"Damn it Luke!" She screamed as he shut the door behind her, "You can't just barge in here like this!"

"Hey...I was here to renovate the house for US. Not you. But US." He said pointing his hand on his chest, "It hasn't been that long since it was mine too."

She snorted, "Yours huh? We're you ever going to move in Luke? I've been packing up your stuff and I realized I don't have much because you still lived at the apartment."

"I just figured sometimes it was easier because I had to wake up early." Luke said with a shrug. "I didn't want to bother you."

She stared at him in disbelief, "At some point...I'd like to think we were going to get married. Would you have still stayed there when we got married because you didn't want to bother me?" She asked as she crossed her arms over her chest, "I mean do you really hear yourself right now?"

He sighed and shrugged, "I guess that was a stupid reason."

"It was a lie." She said shaking her head, 'It's not why you did it. You didn't want to be here. You didn't want to be with me. You realized it was wrong...you wanted out but didn't know how to say it. But I wish you had just said it Luke…"

"I didn't want out." Luke said angrily, "I did want to be here, I never thought it was wrong. That we were wrong...I wanted to marry you Lorelai."

She stared at him for a moment, "Look...I know that I made you wait with Rory. I was distant...and I'm sorry for that. It was wrong."

"I wanted to help." Luke said softly, "I wanted to make it better for you…"

"I know. And I wanted to help with April…" Lorelai said quickly, "I wanted to help you figure it out but you didn't want me around her."

He shook his head, "It wasn't like that…"

"Then what was it like?" She asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"I just...I was so damn confused. And I know it was wrong to hide it from you...trust me I knew what I damn hypocrite I was with the no secrets thing." He said with a snort, "I hated myself everyday that I didn't tell you...but I couldn't."

"But why?" Lorelai asked, "We used to tell each other everything…" She laughed, "Ironically that was before we started dating...and then we came became so closed off. What the hell is wrong with us?" She laughed again, "Obviously we aren't meant to be together...maybe we are just supposed to be friends. Although I don't know how to be your friend now…not when we...how would we go backwards? I don't want to go backwards!"

"Lorelai stop talking." Luke said putting a hand up, "You start to ramble when you get nervous."

"Well I'm nervous. I can't help it. I mean first I run into you at the store where I was to try and avoid running into you. And then Kirk shows up and asks me out with beautiful flowers. And now you're here and-" Her hands were flying through the air.

He grabbed them quickly, "Stop talking."

"I…" She paused and quickly took her hands out of his, "You're not my boyfriend anymore. You can't tell me what to do."

He raised an eyebrow, "I haven't been your boyfriend in months. I was your fiancé. And fine I am neither of those things at the moment but I'm still telling you to shut up."

She scoffed at him, "Don't talk to me like that!"

"Lorelai. Shut up!" He screamed back quickly, "For once in your life shut up and let someone else get a few words in!"

She stepped back slightly, "Luke…" She whispered taken aback by his tone.

"I need you to be quiet so I can get the words from my head…" He said pointing to his head frantically, "Out of my mouth!"

She swallowed hard, stepped back into and let her back hit the wall and waited for him to speak. He began to pace up and down the small space in the foyer as he rubbed his hands together and tried to figure out exactly what to say.

"I felt like a failure. I know that Anna didn't tell me about April so I couldn't know about her. But I felt like I had to fix all that before I could make us work. Not that we didn't work before...I just mean that I felt like I had to fix that situation before we got married. I wanted to give you that whole package you had always wanted. And I didn't think I could do that if all these things were up in the air with April. But I was afraid to piss off Anna because I figured she'd take her away again. And I didn't want that. I wanted to know my kid. And I wanted to marry you. I wanted to be that guy you wanted. The guy you needed. But I didn't think I could be that guy if I didn't know how to be a father. Because why would you want to marry me if I couldn't' be a father? How would you trust me with Rory? Or if we had another kid? You said you wanted kids. I wanted kids but I didn't think about the whole father part. I'd be crap at that. I mean April is older so it's a little easier but obviously I can't do two things at once. So I had to figure that out and-" He was so lost in thought he didn't realize she was standing beside him.

"Whoa. Breathe Luke. Breath." She said grabbing his shoulders and making him turn to face him, "You're face is bright red. You need to calm down…"

"I don't want to calm down!" Luke yelled, "I hate this! I hate that we are in this position."

She sighed and turned him towards the couch, "Luke...slow down."

"I don't want to slow down." Luke said shaking his head, "I slowed down when April showed up and it made you think I didn't want you and God I never wanted that…I'm an idiot."

Lorelai pushed him down on the couch and shook her head, "You are not an idiot."

He looked up at her, "Yes. I am. I let you go. I let you down. I had you...the one thing I ever wanted and I made you feel unloved and unwanted. And then I just let you walk away."

She paused and stepped away from him, "You know what...I think maybe you should go now."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her down to the couch, "No. I should be here. I belong here." She opened her mouth to protest but she couldn't seem to make herself say the words, "Right? I belong here...right here. Things didn't turn out the way we planned but you're still mine...and I'm still yours."

She looked down and felt the tears coming again, "Luke…"

He quickly reached up and lifted her face to look at him again, "I belong right here."

For a moment he thought she was going to let him in, but instead she buried her face in her hands and began to sob. "I hate myself."

Luke sighed and went to wrap an arm around her, "Lorelai…"

She flinched and stood up again, "No. I didn't...I shouldn't have...God what I did was so wrong. I hated every second of it. I didn't want it to happen but I was so sad and I thought…" She shook her head, "No. I didn't think! I didn't think because I never think! I reacted! I jumped! I ran. It's all I know how to do. And I hurt you." She paused and put a hand a hand over her mouth as she stared at him, "Oh God...I hurt you Luke. Sookie told me not to tell you but I had too...I needed you to know how terrible I was so you'd leave. So you'd find someone who is good because you are good. You're so good Luke and I'm just the worst person alive."

He stood up quickly, "Hey...don't talk about the woman I love like that." He said defensively.

She shook her head, "No! You don't love me and you can't love me! I betrayed you!"

He shook his head, "I do love you and I can love you. And...Lorelai I betrayed you too. We both hurt each other."

She continued to cry as she looked up at him, "Why are you here? Why are you doing this?"

"I'm here because I want to fix this." Luke said quickly, she opened her mouth to protest but he kept talking, "You told Kirk to go back to Lulu and make it work. You told him if you're lucky enough to find someone who will put up with all your crap and all your stupid quirks you should hold on to them as tight as possible. You should make sure they never let you go and that you never let them go."

"Luke…" She said backing away, "Don't…"

He stepped closer to her, "You told him to love someone with his whole heart and make it work no matter what…"

"We aren't Lulu and Kirk…" She said shaking her head, "Are problems are deeper than night terrors and a lack of social skills."

He nodded, "Our problems are that we don't talk to each other. We don't tell each other what the other needs. And we need to change that which is why I'm here. Do you want to know what I need?"

She shook her head, "Come on Luke…"

"I need you." Luke said stepping all the way up to her, "I need you in my life because you make things better.I meant what I said...nothing in my life seems real if you're not in it and I'm not sharing it with you. I've been walking around in a fog for days now...and I just want to make it right."

"But it can't be right." She said still not looking at him, "I let him...I slept...I didn't…"

"We'll get past it." He swallowed hard, "I'll get past it."

"You can't." She said finally looking up at him, "You'll always look at me as the girl who broke your heart...the girl that betrayed you. And then Rory won't be able to have a relationship with her father because she won't want to upset you and-"

"He's Rory's father." Luke said with a nod, "It's her life and I can't control it. If she wants him in her life...then I accept that."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "It's not that simple…"

He nodded slowly, "You're right...it's not that simple." He looked down at her hands, "It's going to be hard. Really hard...and we're going to have to work on it. And we will."

"Luke…" She said crying harder, "I just...I can't…"

"You can." Luke said nodding his head, "Do you love me?"

She looked up at him, "You know I do. I mean I know what I did made it seem like I didn't...but I do. God I do...I just want you to be happy which is why you should leave now."

"I'm not giving up on this again." Luke said shaking his head, "You're not walking away and neither am I."

"It hurts…" She said closing her eyes tightly, "It hurts so bad…"

He swallowed hard and stepped even closer, "Trust me...I know. It's killing me...which is why I know that it isn't over. That we need to fix this…"

"Luke…" She whispered, her voice and body were shaking as she spoke to him, "I'm so sorry...I'm so, so sorry."

"I am too." He said as his own tears filled his eyes, "You have no idea how sorry I am…" He pulled her up against him and held her tight, "We need to fix this...because I don't want a life without you."

"It hurts…" She wailed into his chest as she held him close, "It hurts knowing I hurt you...I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to be the one that hurts the man she loves."

"And I don't want to hurt the woman I love…" He said squeezed her tighter, "I'd be out of my mind to walk away from this…"

She pulled away and looked up at him, "I was out of my mind when I walked away from this…"

He nodded slowly, "I know...I know you weren't yourself. I should have seen that…"

"You aren't a mind reader." She said shaking her head as she clung tighter to him, afraid he would change his mind, "I should have said something…"

"You tried...and I didn't listen." He said sternly, "And I'm sorry…" Her grip was so hard he had to pull away just slightly, "Lorelai...don't draw blood okay?" He teased.

She jumped and let go slightly, "I'm sorry...I'm just…"

He nodded slowly and leaned forward to try and kiss her, "I know…" He pulled back slightly, "What?"

"I just...I don't know...we can't just jump back into this Luke." She swallowed hard, "I wish we could. I wish it was that easy...but it's not."

He sighed and leaned his forehead against hers, "You're right…"

She nodded and closed her eyes as she leaned further against him, "So what do we do?"

"We work on it. We keep talking…" Luke said softly, "We fight for each other. We make it work because I did not like watching Kirk ask you out."

She laughed and pulled away, "Luke…"

"And I don't want him or anyone else to ask you out." He said sternly, "I don't want…" He swallowed hard, "I don't want to lose you...so we need to fix this. I need you."

She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm so sorry. For everything. I never want to hurt you...I never want to cause you pain."

He held her tight, "I don't either." He buried his face in her hair, "We're going to figure it all out, together. Okay?"

She swallowed hard and pulled away, "You think we can do it?"

"I don't think we have any other choice." Luke said shaking her head, "Because despite what I said...we are right Lorelai."

She nodded slowly and caressed his face, "We're right…"

"I don't want to be the guy that just pours your coffee…" He whispered as he leaned into her hand.

She tilted her head to the side and shook it, "You were never just the guy with the coffee. You were always so much more…"

He breathed a sigh of relief, "That's good to know…"

She looked down slowly, "So...I guess we have some talking to do. Do we do it now or later?"

He shook his head, "I don't want to wait…"

She swallowed hard, "Okay…" She paused slowly and bit her lip, "Can I have some ice cream first? Because this has taken a lot of energy out of me...I need a little something to keep me going."

He couldn't help but laugh, "You make me crazy…"

"You really want to be stuck with me?" She asked as they walked towards the kitchen, "Because this is your last chance to get out…"

He put his arm around her and ignored her as she tensed, "I'm not letting you go again Lorelai...never again."

She sighed happily and let him hold her close, "Thank you for eavesdropping on me and Kirk...I'd hate to think about what would have happened if you didn't."

Luke sighed, "Thank you for being clumsy enough to lose your wallet and not notice."

"Hey!" Lorelai said shoving him lightly trying to sound offended by failing miserably.

Luke ignored her protests and continued to talk, "I don't know if I should punch Kirk tomorrow or give him extra pancakes."

She laughed, "Go for the pancakes…"

Luke smiled and let her go to the freezer to get her ice cream. As he sat down at the table, he knew that the night was far from over. And he knew they had a long way to go. But for once he was going to fight for what he wanted. No matter what it took he was going to make it work. Because life without her was not a life worth living... 

* * *

**So what did you think? I hope you liked it. Obviously they would have a lot of work to do after this...but it is just a one-shot. Why didn't they just talk to one another? It could have solved so many damn problems!**

 **PS-I tried to find the Entertainment Weekly issue with the Gilmore Girls on it but I can't find it. I need to read it! I can't wait any longer for the damn revival. How will they handle the Luke/Lorelai relationship? It better be good! I need them together! Okay...rant over hahaha. I will try and update soon and have more non break up related one-shots. More happy ones if I can think of some ideas!**


	9. Remedy

**Hey guys! I was in the middle of a different chapter with a different song and this song came on my computer. It made me think of Lorelai trying to get Luke to realize he can lean on her just as much as she leans on her. Takes place after the finale during Luke's first Dark Day back with Lorelai. Will she be able to help him finally deal with all that pain he's been holding onto since his Dad's death? Based on the song "Remedy" by Adele. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the continued feedback! :)**

"Remedy" by Adele

 _I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be_

 _So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe_

 _Right before my eyes I saw, my heart it came to life_

 _This ain't easy it's not meant to be_

 _Every story has its scars_

 _When the pain cuts you deep_

 _When the night keeps you from sleeping_

 _Just look and you will see_

 _That I will be your remedy_

 _When the world seems so cruel_

 _And your heart makes you feel like a fool_

 _I promise you will see_

 _That I will be, I will be your remedy_

 _No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you_

 _Come whenever I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through_

 _Your love, it is my truth_

 _And I will always love you_

 _Love you_

 _When the pain cuts you deep_

 _When the night keeps you from sleeping_

 _Just look and you will see_

 _That I will be your remedy_

 _When the world seems so cruel_

 _And your heart makes you feel like a fool_

 _I promise you will see_

 _That I will be, I will be your remedy, oh  
_

* * *

Lorelai Gilmore walked down the stairs of the Dragonfly. It was another day like any other day. Except things were much different than last year. Last year she embarked on a disastrous relationship with Christopher Hayden to try and mask the pain of her failed relationship with Luke Danes. It had been a nightmare for all of them.

But somehow...Luke and Lorelai had found a way back to each other. After Rory's party and after dropping her off at the airport, they began to work hard for the things they wanted. They had talked about everything. The good the bad and the ugly that resulted in the breaking of their relationship. It hadn't been easy. In fact it had been the hardest thing either one of them had ever had to do. But it had been worth it. Because now they were together and finally communicating the way they should have from the beginning.

As Lorelai rounded the front desk, her eyes fell on the calendar laid out in front of her. Her eyes fell on tomorrow's date and her heart dropped to her stomach. Tomorrow was Luke's dark day…

She didn't know how he had dealt with it last year. She hated to think of their time apart. But she was worried that his dark day would pull him away from her again. She didn't want all their hard work to be destroyed. She knew how hard it was for Luke to talk about or even think about the passing of his parents. She couldn't imagine what it felt like for him to be faced with that pain.

They had spent pretty much every day and night together since they had gotten back together. But she was sure that tomorrow...Luke would go off on his own. She knew it was what he needed to do to cope. But she wanted to find a way to remind him that he wasn't alone anymore.

Michel walked up to the front desk and she tried to smile at him, "Hey uh...things are pretty slow here. Would you kill me if I head out for the day? There's something I need to do…"

Michel sighed and rolled his eyes, "Did it ever occur to you that I have things to do too?"

Lorelai grimaced, "Yes. I know you have a life too. And I promise to make it up to you...you can take any day off you want. Just...not today."

Michel narrowed his eyes at her, "I want to go to Sweden to ski over Christmas."

Lorelai sighed, "Fine. Fine Michel. Do whatever you want, okay? Can I go?"

Michel waved a hand at her, "If you must."

Lorelai didn't wait for him to change his mind, she grabbed her bag and coat and ran out to the jeep. She quickly got in, and drove over to the Diner. She parked beside his truck and made her way into the full Diner.

"Hey handsome." She said as she watched him clean up behind the counter.

His face lifted to see her, the worried lines around his eyes were back. She could tell he was already anticipating tomorrow. She watched him glance at the clock and then back at her, it was an unusual time for her to be visiting.

"What are you doing here?" He asked sounding more harsh than he had intended.

She took an empty stool and shrugged, "I like looking at you."

Luke tried to smile as he reached for the coffee pot, "Coffee?"

She reached across the counter and held his arm tightly, "Actually...think I can steal you away for a few minutes?"

He frowned, "Well...we're kind of busy."

Lorelai nodded, "Right...I know. Just a minute?" She turned to to Caesar, "Hey...can I steal the boss man for five minutes?"

"Go ahead. Everyone's got their orders. I'll just be cleaning up a bit." Cesar said giving her a slight smile.

She turned back to Luke and smiled at him, "Upstairs?"

Luke sighed and nodded slowly as he waited until she walked towards the curtain and up the stairs. He followed her and quickly entered the apartment behind her.

"So...what's up?" He asked not looking her in the eye.

She swallowed hard and put a gentle hand on his arm, "I just...wanted a minute with you."

He shrugged, "Well here it is...so...what?"

She frowned, she forgot how cold he could be when he was sad. He had been so attentive since they got back together. They had moments of anger and they had said hurtful things but they were things that needed to be said. Now he was just being cold to push her away because he didn't want to let her in.

She swallowed hard, "Luke...I know what tomorrow is."

He flinched and pulled away from her, "Lorelai. I'm not talking about this." He walked towards the kitchen.

She sighed, "I know it's hard but I-"

"I'm not talking about it!" Luke yelled turning back to her, "You know I don't like to talk about it so why are you pushing me?"

She sighed and glanced down, "I just...I don't want you to push me away again Luke."

"Just...go home. I'll see you the day after tomorrow, okay?" He said turning to pretend to do the dishes in the sink.

She watched him for a moment and decided for once not to give up on him. She walked up to him, put a hand on his back and she felt him tense. But then he relaxed slightly and didn't push her away. "I know...I know okay? But…" She sighed and leaned forward to kiss his back softly, "I love you. And I'm here. Just...remember that...okay." He didn't respond and she just nodded to herself, "Okay…" She whispered more to herself than to him. She kissed him again, let her hand run down his back before she turned and walked out of the apartment.

Luke turned when he heard the door close behind her and he wished he knew what to say. But when it came to his parents...nothing anyone said could make it better. Not even Lorelai. He hated that it was like this. They had come so far in the last few months and he didn't want to go backwards...but he didn't know how to let her in. With a sigh, he pushed himself away from the counter and walked back down to the Diner to work for the rest of the day.

* * *

Back at home, Lorelai was sitting on the couch trying to think of a way to get through to Luke. She didn't want to force herself on him. But she also didn't want him to have to face things alone anymore. If they were going to work this time, they had to be a team. She wanted to be there for him through the good and the bad. She wanted him to realize just how amazing he was.

She knew that right now he was never going to listen to her. So how could she get through to him? Suddenly her mind flashed to when he had asked her to write a letter of reference for his custody battle. As hard as it had been in the beginning to figure out what to write...it felt good to fully express herself without being interrupted or fear of rejection.

She took a deep breath stood up and went to the desk to find everything she would need. For once in her life, she wasn't going to just give up. She was going to fight for the man she loved and make him see how far she was willing to go to make him happy.

* * *

Luke spent most of his day in a daze, he went through the motions of work. Take orders, cook the food, deliver the food, clean up. Today felt like the months without Lorelai had felt like. Everything was in black and white. It was the same every year...it brought up all the bad memories he wanted to forget.

When it was finally time to close up, Luke called out to Caesar to remind him that they were closed tomorrow. Caesar just gave him a knowing smile and a quick wave before he went out the front door. Luke followed him, turned the sign to closed, locked up and pulled all the shades down.

He went directly up to the apartment and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He sat down on the couch and took a long swig of the brown liquid. His mind drifted to all those years before when he knew that his father's life was coming to an end. He was unresponsive and getting sicker by the day. He knew he was in a better place, but he wished more than anything that he was still here.

Maybe if he was he'd be able to be more open with Lorelai. They had come so far in the last few months and he didn't want to make her think he was going back to his old ways of keeping things from her. Why couldn't he talk about this? He sighed, pushed his beer away and stood up to get ready for bed. He was to tired to think anymore, sleep would be easier because then he wouldn't have to think at all.

When he crawled into bed, he made a mental not to go to Lorelai first thing on Sunday and find a way to fix things. Until then, he was going to have to just live in his Dark Day by himself. Or so he thought…

* * *

Sometimes past midnight, Lorelai finished her letter. She had folded it up, put it in an envelope along with a pile of pictures she had found to emphasize her points. With a determined mind and heart, she her to the jeep and drove to the Diner. She knew he was upstairs, his truck was parked in its usual spot. The lights were off, she knew he was probably asleep.

Taking a deep breath, she got out of the jeep and walked to the front door. She reached for the spare key above the door and as quietly as she could unlocked the door. She crept up the stairs, used her key to open the apartment door and tiptoed into the dark apartment. She was glad Luke was a sound sleeper...she walked to his bed side table and placed the envelope down beside him.

She stared at him as he slept soundly beside her. Even in his sleep she could see the pain etched into his face and her heart broke for him. She wished more than anything that she could crawl into bed and hold and make all the pain go away. But she knew that he wasn't ready for that yet. He needed his space, and she would give it to him. But she would also make sure he knew just how much she loved him.

Leaning down, she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and smoothed his fine hair back. He rolled over onto his side after he felt her but he didn't wake up. She took a deep breath and then tiptoed back out of the apartment and made her way home once more.

* * *

The following morning, Luke woke up and glanced out into his dark apartment. It was raining outside, he could tell. He could hear the steady pitter patter on the windows. He sighed, sat up and realized he probably wouldn't be going fishing today. But the idea of being stuck in the apartment all day a nightmare in itself.

He groaned, rolled over and tried to reach for the clock on the bedside table but his hands hit a piece of paper instead. He frowned, pulled at the paper and noticed that it was an envelope with his name on it. He didn't remember seeing it there last night. And when he squinted his eyes, he realized he knew that handwriting well. It was Lorelai's writing. He sat up and looked to the other side of the bed, half expecting to see her lying beside him.

But she wasn't. Because she knew it was his dark day. She was staying away because he had pushed her away yesterday. He lay back on the bed, put her envelope down again and rolled over determined to sleep just a little while longer. He wasn't ready to face it all yet…

* * *

At Lorelai's, she had woken up early unable to sleep. Her dreams were haunted by Luke. In every dream he was in pain somehow but she couldn't get to him. She wanted more than anything to make him feel better, but she didn't know if he would let her. She wondered if he would even read the letter...would he throw it away? Would he ignore it? She sighed and pulled herself out of bed realizing that sleep was not going to come easy to her today.

On a rainy Saturday, she decided to do all the things that she had been avoiding for weeks. About a month ago, Rory had confessed that she had hidden Lorelai's, 'Luke Boxes' in the garage. But she had yet to go find them, she wasn't ready to face those memories quite yet. But today felt like as good a day as any...it was raining and cold and Luke was sad. Time to face it all…

She threw on a pair of sweatpants, a sweatshirt, her rain boots and a rain coat and ran out to the garage. She remembered that Rory said it was in the back buried under many of Rory's old toys. Lorelai quickly located the boxes and ran back to the house to begin her day. There was no time like the present…

* * *

Two hours later, Luke rolled over again feeling groggy from all the sleep. He wasn't used to staying in bed all day. But he also didn't want to face the emotions of the day. But nature called and he rolled out of bed to go to the bathroom. He missed his step and kicked the bedside table making the envelope to fall and a frame to hit the floor.

He groaned and leaned down to pick up the frame, and he noticed that there seemed to be a picture hiding behind the one in there. The picture in front was of him and April. The one behind it was an old picture of him, Liz and their parents during a summer trip when they were quite young. Seeing his mother and father's face stirred something in him and he felt his heart ache.

He fell back on the bed and sighed, sometimes life was a real bitch. He sat up again and felt his foot slide on the envelope underneath his foot. He bent down, picked it up and put it on top of the frame before going to the bathroom. When he was done, he walked to the kitchen and began to make a cup of tea to try and settle his stomach.

When it was ready, he walked back to the bed and placed the cup on the bedside table. He picked up the envelope and decided it was time to face things head on for once in his life. He opened the envelope and pulled out a paper as a pile of pictures fell onto the bed.

He glanced down and smiled at what he saw. There were pictures of Rory and Luke, April and Luke, Jess and Luke, Liz and Luke, Paul Anka and Luke, even Kirk and Luke. And the very last two pictures were of him and Lorelai. The first was from years earlier when Rachel had taken a picture of them. He had admitted to Lorelai recently that it was one of his most favorite photos ever. And the second, was a more recent picture of Lorelai and Luke on his boat. The had decided to take a weekend away just the two of them on the ocean to just be together.

Lorelai had insisted that they take the picture, she had taken the camera, pointed it at them and pulled him as close as possible. At the last second she had leaned in and kissed his cheek as she snapped the picture which had made him laugh. He stared at his own face and realized how happy he really looked. He knew that happiness was all thanks to Lorelai...she was his reason.

Suddenly his heart ached and he wanted her to be beside him. That's when he remembered the letter and he quickly unfolded it to read whatever it was that she had written.

 _Dear Luke,  
It's never easy for me to really express how I feel about you. During the last few months, I think I've come a long way but there is still more I wish I could say to you. Knowing that you are going through so much pain right now is killing me. I want nothing more than to be the one you turn to for help. You've always been that person for me. Since the day we met you have had my back through the good and bad. I love you in ways that I didn't realize it was possible to love someone Luke.  
I know that today is difficult for you. I know that you think you need to be alone to deal with it. Maybe you don't want me to see you sad but Luke...I wish you'd let me in. I want you to know that even though you feel you're alone you aren't not really. I'm still here. I will ALWAYS be here Luke. I will be beside you through the good and the bad because I love you.  
I will never make the same mistakes twice. When things went bad before, it was because I was afraid to push you. And I don't want to push you away...I just want you to realize that there is nothing you could do or say that would make me leave again. I know you think you need to figure things out on your own...it's why you pushed me away with April. But in a relationship...we're supposed to figure things out together. And we have figured out all of our problems in the last few months. We still have work to do and it hasn't' been easy but it's been so worth it.  
I'm not sure if you will even read this. Or maybe you will read it and it won't' change anything. But for once I just wanted to tell you how I felt. Today is your dark day and you can handle it the way you think you need too. But I'm here. You know where I am and if you let me help you get through this day. But if you aren't ready...then I will see you tomorrow. And when I see you I will tell you how much I love you and how much our relationship means to me. You are my best friend Luke. You are my reason. And I am going to continue to fight for our relationship because I know it's worth more than anything. I love you Luke Danes. And I'll always be beside you._

 _Love,_  
 _Your Lorelai_

When Luke finished her letter, he had tears in his eyes and for once he wasn't afraid to let them fall. He knew that it wasn't easy for her to be so open either. But she had been able to express herself to him in her letter. She had said the things he needed so badly to hear but was to afraid to listen too. And suddenly he realized she was right...he wasn't alone anymore.

And it wasn't just Lorelai he had. He looked down at the pictures and saw Rory, April, Liz, Jess, Paul Anka and Kirk. She knew she had put those pictures in there to prove to him that he had a lot more people who loved him than just her. Looking around his dark apartment, he realized he didn't want to be alone anymore.

He jumped up, through on his boots and grabbed his coat before running down the apartment stairs. He had to let her in once and for all.

He made it to Lorelai's house in no time and was surprised to see the light son downstairs. It was barely 9am on a Saturday morning. It was raining and cold. She would usually be asleep by now. He walked up the porch steps, used his key and unlocked the door and walked straight into the living room. He found her on the floor sorting through boxes in front of her.

"Lorelai?" He called softly.

Lorelai's heart jumped in her chest, she turned and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him. "Oh Luke…"

He watched her scramble off the floor and run at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Hey…" He whispered into her hair. "Sorry I'm all wet…"

She shook her head and pulled back to look at him, "I don't care. I'm just…" She stared at his sad face and stood on her tiptoes to rest her forehead against him, "I hate it when you're sad...it breaks my heart. I wish I could fix it for you...make it better."

He breathed her in and nodded against her head, "You do. You do make it better. Thank you…" His voice cracked, "For your letter...and the pictures. Just…" He sighed and pulled her as close as possible, "Thank you…"

"Come here…" Lorelai said pulling him towards the couch, "You don't have anything to thank me for Luke."

He sighed sadly, "Last year was the worst dark day of them all...because you were gone too."

She sighed and curled up on the couch and pulled him close, "Come here…"

He pulled his coat off, toed off his shoes and curled up with his head in her lap as he let the words flow out of him. "I wanted to call you...but I didn't. I couldn't."

She pulled his cap off and began to thread her fingers through her hair, "I wish it hadn't been that way."

"We both made mistakes." Luke said leaning further into her, "We've talked about all that…"

Lorelai nodded, "Tell me what you're feeling right now...what you're thinking."

Luke closed his eyes and relished in the feel of her hands against his scalp, "I'm thinking about the fact that I inherited my Dad's stubbornness and ability to push the most important people away."

Lorelai frowned, "You're a good man Luke...the best man I know. I will never understand why you don't' see that. Yes you can be stubborn...and you think you need to do everything on your own. But you don't. You are ALWAYS there for everyone else. You were there for me so many times when I didn't deserve it. Let me be there for you...let me take the burden sometimes."

Luke swallowed hard, "I don't want to look weak…"

Lorelai pushed his body slightly so that he would look up at her, "You could never look weak in my eyes Luke. You are the strongest man I know."

"I feel weak right now…" Luke whispered staring up at her, "Allowing myself to feel all this...makes me feel weak."

"Allowing yourself to feel real emotions and pain doesn't make you weak babe. It makes you brave…" She said running a hand across his stubbly cheek. "We are all human...we feel pain. I wish we didn't...I wish I could take it from you but I can't. But I can hold you when you need it. Just like you do for me…"

"I don't' like it when you're sad." Luke said with a frown, "I hate it."

She smiled down at him, "Well I feel the same way…you always take care of me. Why can't I take care of you?"

"Because…" He said stubbornly as he looked up at her.

She let out a slight laugh as she placed a hand over his chest, "Because? That's not an answer Luke."

He rolled his eyes, "Because I'm a guy Lorelai...I'm supposed to take care of you."

"Oh God…" She pushed him up so that he was sitting and she could look directly at him, "That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard Luke Danes."

He huffed, "Well it's how I feel."

She sighed and scooted closer to him, "Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel real emotions Luke." She took his hand in hers, "If that were true...if you were an emotionless man you wouldn't have cared that we broke up."

He pulled her hand into his lap and squeezed it tight, "I did care. I do care. It sucked. And I don't want that to happen again."

She nodded slowly and used her other hand to hold his face, "I know that. But if we're going to have any chance of really making it work this time...you gotta let me in babe." She put a hand on his chest and gave him a sad smile, "The moments when you let me see the real you...the Luke that no one else gets to see are the best moments. You're always my rock...let me be yours. I'm not going anywhere…"

He sighed and leaned against the back of the couch, "It's just hard…"

"I know...believe me I know." She said wrapping an arm around his shoulders and rubbing his neck softly, "It was hard for me to let you in...but I have in the last few months. I've told you things I've never told anyone because I trust you enough to know that you will keep that information safe. That you will keep me safe."

He leaned further into the couch and looked at her sadly, "I will keep you safe…"

"I know." She said leaning forward to kiss his lips softly, "And you're safe with me too. I just want you to be happy...I want you to lean on me like I lean on you. You can't do everything on your own…"

He sucked in his bottom lip and thought for a moment, "You'll still love me?"

"Oh hon…" She pulled him against her chest and cradled his head, "I will always love you. Thought I made that clear with the God awful karaoke…"

He smiled against her and closed his eyes, "You have a beautiful voice…"

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah well...you're the only one that thinks so. But yes...I will always love you Luke. If we can survive the last year...we can survive anything. But we need to do it together. Okay?"

He turned his head enough to look at her, "Okay…"

"Good…" She whispered as she threaded his fingers through her hair again, "Just relax...we can hide away all day. Just you and me…"

"Crappy day…" He murmured against her as his eyes fluttered closed.

She nodded and started to rub his back with her other hand, she knew he wasn't just talking about the weather, "I know...I know. But I'm here…"

Luke nodded slowly and let himself drift off into a comfortable sleep. The first sleep in over 48 hours that wasn't filled with nightmares.

* * *

An hour later, Luke woke up feeling relaxed and at happy. He was on the couch, but somehow he had ended up alone. He frowned and turned his head to look for Lorelai, he didn't see her in the living room.

Sitting up quickly, he called out for her, "Lorelai?"

She walked from the kitchen and sat on the coffee table across from him, "Still here." He handed him a cup of tea, "Here. Thought you could use this."

He took the cup and took a sip, "How did you get up without me noticing?"

"Luke it would take an earthquake to wake you most days." She said with an eye roll, "How do you think I snuck into the apartment to leave the letter?"

He smirked and put his cup down, "There is one thing that you can do to wake me up…"

She laughed and swatted his arm playfully, "Perv…"

"Just saying...you know for future reference." He said leaning against the back of the couch as he smiled up at her, "But um...thank you for that letter it was…" He sighed and couldn't help but smile, "It was amazing Lorelai…"

Her cheeks flushed and she shrugged, "Thought it might be easier to get you to listen if I wrote it all down…"

He swallowed hard and leaned forward again and took her hands in his, "It reminded me of the reference letter...God you have no idea how badly I wanted to come back to you after hearing that."

She sighed and tried to keep the tears at bay, "It's kind of where I got the idea…" She glanced up at him slowly, "I meant every word in both letters. You're my reason Luke...you're my best friend. And I just…" She shook her head as the tears began to spill down her cheeks, "I don't ever want to lose you again. "

"You won't." He said lifting her head to make her look at him, "You won't…" He repeated more confidently.

She breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, "Good…"

He leaned forward and kissed her lips gently, "What did you do while I snoozed?"

Her cheeks flushed again, "Oh well...I was putting some things away that have been missing around here for much too long."

He pushed some hair out of her face, "What kind of things? Is that what was in those boxes?"

Lorelai nodded slowly, "They were my Luke boxes…"

He raised an eyebrow curiously, "Luke boxes? What's a Luke box?"

She smiled sadly at him, "After every break up I've ever had...I put all the things that reminded me the guy away in a box. And I'd store it away in case someday I wanted to remember. But with you...I packed it all away and told Rory to get rid of it all."

He frowned, "You didn't want to remember me?"

She shook her head, "I always remembered you Luke...everything reminded me of you. Things packed away in boxes didn't help me forget. I thought if I got rid of them...I'd be able to let go."

"How were you putting things back of you told Rory to throw them away?" He asked trying to keep up.

She smiled sweetly at him, "Because it turns out my kid is much smarter than both of us...she knew I'd regret it one day. And I think she also knew we'd end up back here one day…"

"So she kept the boxes?" He asked with a smile, Lorelai only nodded in response. "Remind me to thank her next time she calls…"

She smirked at him, "I will."

"So...what was in these Luke boxes?" Luke asked curiously, "Will you show me?"

Lorelai laughed, "Well most of it is put away...little silly things really." She cleared her throat, "That big red mug you always brought me coffee in before leaving for work. That camo skirt I woke that time we went to see Jarhead…"

"The one you were wearing when you threw up?" Luke asked curiously, "Why would that have to go?"

"Because it reminded me of you being a sweet and caring boyfriend." SHe said with a pout which made him nod, "Um...some Pom Pom socks."

"The Pom Pom socks…" He said with a chuckle, "I was wondering where those were…"

"Some books I recommended that you never read...Al's Panckae World menu's because I missed your rants. Um...the waffle Iron and your spatula." She said with a shrug, "Silly little things…"

"Things that made you think of me…" Luke whispered as he nodded.

"I didn't want to think about you…" She whispered sadly, "Because it hurt."

He nodded, "Yeah...I know the feeling."

She frowned sadly, "Um...there is one more thing in the box. One thing that I told her to give back to you...but I guess she didn't." She stood up and went to the box that was now sitting on the stairs, she came back and held out a black velvet box.

Luke inhaled sharply, "She uh...she tried to give it back to me actually."

Her eyes opened in surprise, "She did?"

Luke nodded, "Yeah. Um...about a week or two after it happened." He sighed and took the box from her to open it slowly and admire the sparkling diamond. "She came into the Diner on her way back to school...it was dead. We sat there awkwardly for a bit...made stupid conversation. And then she took it out of her pocket and said you wanted me to have it back…"

"But you didn't take it…" Lorelai said softly, he just shook his head, "Why?"

"Because it was yours." Luke said looking up at her, "Because taking it would mean that I had to admit it was really over. Because the only place I wanted to picture it was on your finger...not locked away in my safe mocking me every time I opened it. I kind of just assumed she gave it back to you."

She sighed, "Well it's been lying in a box in my garage for a year…" She licked her lips nervously and pulled at her shirt, "You should take it. Maybe...maybe Kirk will let you sell it back."

He looked up at her strangely, "You want me to sell it back?"

She felt herself shrink a little, "I mean...I don't know. We're not...we're not ready for that."

Luke nodded slowly, "No...we aren't."

She sighed sadly as she saw the sadness creep back onto his face, "Hey no...no more being sad babe. It's okay."

He reached for her arms and pulled her up off the couch and made her sit in his lap. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck as he held her. "Lorelai…"

She shook her head, "Not now. Okay? Just...let me take care of you. Please…"

He nodded slowly and relaxed as her hands rubbed his back, "Okay…"

She smiled and kissed the side of his face before standing up and holding her arms out for him to take, "Come with me…"

"Where are we going?" He asked as he let her pull him up.

"We're going to take a nice long hot shower…" She said rubbing his back as she lead him towards the stairs, "And then we're going to crawl into bed and just be you and me...and I'm going to take care of you."

He smiled, "Lorelai…"

"Come on…" She said taking his hand in hers and leading him up the stairs.

* * *

After their shower, Lorelai positioned Luke on the bed so she could massage his back. She slipped into a pair of sweatpants and her favorite flannel shirt of his that she had conveniently stolen back once they got back together. At first Luke had protested when she told him she was going to give him a massage, but she reminded him that he had agreed to let her take care of him.

The storm outside was still raging as he settled into the bed on his stomach and she lit a few candles around her room before crawling onto the bed and straddling his hips. "This is supposed to relax me? It makes me want to do other things…"

She laughed and put her hands on his warm naked back, "Later...just let me focus on you first, okay?"

He sighed when he realized she wouldn't give in and he rested his chin on his hands as he stared off across the room, "So what do I do?"

She shrugged, "You can snooze a little again...relax...whatever you want."

"What if I want to talk?" He asked in a soft voice she didn't recognize.

Her hands stilled against his back but she quickly regained her composure, "Well then I'm here to listen…"

He took a deep breath and started to talk, "Remember my first Dark Day when we first got together?"

Lorelai continued to rub her hands on his tense back, she felt him relax with every movement. "I honestly thought you were going to break up with me when you saw that I had the boat in my garage…"

"I was mad because you didn't listen. I was being stubborn." Luke said softly, "But then when I calmed down...I realized it was the best gift you could have given me."

"I just didn't want you to regret it…" She whispered, "How do you feel now about Kirk owning it?"

He laughed slightly, "It's kind of weird that he has it...but it was the right thing to do. I needed to let go in some ways."

"It wasn't because of me...was it?" She asked afraid of his answer, "I'd hate to think that it was…"

"No it wasn't. Not really...I just realized I was holding on to something that I was never going to finish. Holding on to those memories of my Dad...and they are still there. I don't need the boat to keep them." He said softly. "Plus now I have the new boat and it's much bigger...and we have made some good memories on it."

She smirked thinking back to how many times they had "rekindled their love" on that boat as she had referred to it, "Yes we have…"

"We definitely wouldn't have been able to do a lot of those things on the old boat...not enough room." He said in that husky voice that drove her crazy."

"Very true…" She said with a laugh, "I have no complaints about the new boat. I just...wanted to make sure you were okay with it."

He nodded, "I am. Besides….I still see it. Kirk will probably never take it more than a foot away from the dock."

Lorelai laughed, "That's probably safer for him…"

"Probably." He said with a soft smile.

Silence filled the room as she continued to massage him gently. She could tell that he was thinking hard about what he wanted to say. He knew what he wanted to talk about...his Dad. He wanted to tell her about him...he never really had. Not much anyway. There was so much about his past life she didn't know and he knew that it was time to really let her in.

He was grateful that she was so patient even though he was sure the silence was killing her. Finally he took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he started to talk.

"My Dad...you know he was stubborn and stuck in his ways." He paused and wondered if she would respond but she didn't, she only waited for him to continue when he was ready, "But he was also kind...and very generous. He'd do anything for anyone…"

"Sounds like someone else I know... " Lorelai whispered as she continued to gently massage his worries and anguish away.

Luke smiled and continued, "I remember one time when I was six...it was one of the hottest days of the summer. All I wanted to do was go down to the lake and swim all day...and my Dad said we would. But then our neighbor Mrs. Wilkin's came over and she was frantically searching for her cat. Her cat was the fattest cat I had ever seen...to this day I will never understand how the thing even moved around let alone got lost." Lorelai laughed as he spoke, "And I kept pulling on my Dad's arm saying we had to go...I wanted to go swimming. But my Dad just looked at me and said something's are more important than swimming. I was so mad at him...I ran back to the house stomped upstairs and slammed my bedroom door. A bit dramatic and bratty…"

She smiled imagining a little Luke stomping away from his father, "You were six. You were supposed to be a little dramatic and bratty…go ask Emily Gilmore just how bratty and dramatic I was at 6 and every other age. I'm sure she could write a book."

Luke smirked, "I'll make sure to ask her next time you drag me to Friday Night Dinner." He said dryly, "But anyway...I stayed up in my room all day stubbornly. Refused lunch when my Mom brought it up despite the fact that I was starving. I had two fans running in my room because I was so damn hot. And finally sometime later that afternoon...I happened to glance out the window. And I saw my Dad...he was covered in sweat. I mean he was just dripping...but he showed no sign of giving up. Somehow Mrs. Wilkin's cat had climbed into this hole under her porch but couldn't get back out. He had searched all morning and into the afternoon for that cat...and then once he found her he had to dig her out. By the time he got her out...he had spent his entire day helping Mrs. Wilkins...and I realized that my Dad was right. Somethings are more important than a day at the lake…"

She bit her lip, "He was a good man…" She leaned down and kissed his ear gently, "And you are so much like him Luke…"

He sighed sadly, "I try to be...I try to do what's right but I don't always do it."

"No one's perfect babe." She said as she went back to her massage, "But you do the best you can do. You've done so many amazing things for the people in your life...you took Jess in when Liz asked you and that wasn't easy. You did a great job with him." He snorted and she knew he was going to protest, "Luke look at where he is now...he wouldn't be so successful if he didn't have to make him see his potential. And Liz adores you...you are like a hero in her eyes. Mine too…" She said giving him a gentle squeeze.

"My Dad was my hero…" Luke whispered sadly as his voice got thick with emotion, "And I miss him...I miss him so damn much."

Lorelai crawled off of his back and turned him around so she could see his face, she had tears in her eyes as she looked at him, "I know…"

"All these years later...I thought it would get easier but it hasn't. It's only gotten harder." He said as the tears burned in his own eyes, "There are so many things I want to tell him. To share with him...I want him to know April. And see how far Liz and Jess have come. I want him to meet Rory and you...to see how you have changed my life."

Watching him tear up broke his heart and she bent down to place soft kisses across his face, "He knows babe...he knows."

Luke wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest, "God I don't know how I survived the last year without you...whether you realized it or not you did take care of me Lorelai. You made me enjoy life again…"

She let him hold her close as she traced patterns on his chest, "I love you Luke…"

He breathed her in and nodded slowly, "I love you too…" Luke swallowed hard and put a hand over his eyes as he tried to keep from crying, "Lorelai… " He whispered softly.

Something in the rawness of his voice made her sit up so she could look at him, "Hey…" She whispered softly as she pulled at his hand, "I'm right here…"

He stared up at her and let the tears he had kept hidden for so long fall without shame, "I just...I need you."

She leaned forward and kissed him softly understanding perfectly what he meant. "You have me…"

"I need you." He whispered again as he rolled them over and his hands slid up underneath his shirt, which was more hers than his after all this time. "I just need you. I need to be you and me...I need to be us."

She watched as his hands frantically pulled at the buttons as if he was afraid she'd change her mind. "Slow down…" She said grabbing his hands in hers. "It's okay…I'm not going anywhere." She repeated again.

"Lorelai…" He whispered as he stared down at her with such need and desire it sent a shiver through her spine, "Please…"

She inhaled softly and she nodded before unbuttoning the rest of the buttons for him and letting him fall into her, "I'm all yours…" She whispered as he leaned against her neck and kissed her softly, "I always have been…"

He nodded against her as he felt her bring him back to life piece by piece. He pulled away just enough to look her in the eyes and he saw all the love he had ever needed staring back at him. He was so caught up in her eyes that it took him a moment to register the fact that she was indeed half naked underneath him. He let out a shaky breath before he leaned down and kissed her slowly.

She led him take the lead knowing that this was what he needed. But she relaxed when he realized he was finally beginning to understand that she wasn't going anywhere ever again. He was slow and let her take care of him the way he needed her too. It wasn't about sex or physical contact. It was about them being together, about becoming one. For the first time ever on this day, he didn't feel weak. He felt stronger because he had her beside him and finally his day didn't seem so dark… 

* * *

**I hope you liked it! Once I heard the song...it just felt right. Lorelai was always the bright spot in Luke's life. But he was afraid to let her see his vulnerable side. I'd like to believe that after they got back together he was able to let her in just a little more. And I'd also like to believe she took care of him the way he needed. I will try and update soon! Reviews are very much appreciated!**


	10. The Wanderer

**Just an idea I came up with this afternoon when this song came on my iPod. The song is called "The Wanderer" by Marc Broussard. For some reason it made me think of when Luke was away helping Liz and TJ after the first big kiss. Just an idea I came up with where he comes home to surprise Lorelai for a quick weekend during his time away. Hope you enjoy! Also please check out my new story "Searchlight" which is a sequel to "Raging Fire". I'll be updating both Searchlight and this one as I often as I can. Thanks guys! :)**

"The Wanderer" by Marc Broussard

 _Dance for me sweetheart while I strum my guitar,_

 _You sure look pretty tonight,_

 _I've just come off the road and I could use the company,_

 _That would suit me just fine_

 _Now I've seen a lot of special things around this world,_

 _You can see them too, you can,_

 _What's that you ask?_

 _I have no name I have no name,_

 _For I am known only as man,_

 _I am known only as man_

 _I'm a wanderer,_

 _I have no place or time,_

 _I'm just drifting on this lonely road of mine,_

 _If you like you can come along with me,_

 _But I promise you that I am not the man I used to be_

 _Now you and I we've seen our share of ups and downs,_

 _Somewhere we just lost hope,_

 _I can't change the past but who cares?_

 _Your love is all I've ever known,_

 _Your love is all I've ever known_

 _I'm a wanderer,_

 _I have no place or time,_

 _I'm just drifting on this lonely road of mine,_

 _And if you would accept me for me,_

 _Then I promise you that there's a better man inside of me (x3)_

 _Dance for me sweetheart while I strum my guitar,_

 _You sure look pretty tonight  
_

* * *

Luke Danes had been at the renaissance faire for the past three weeks helping his sister and new Brother-In-Law out after their accident. It had been three weeks since he had kissed Lorelai Gilmore. It felt like a blur to him, especially since they had hardly had a moment alone together since. They had talked on the phone most every night since he had left...but it wasn't the same. He wanted to be with her...to start this next step of their relationship. He was afraid that the time apart would give Lorelai the chance to change her mind and he couldn't stand the idea of them ending before they really had a chance to begin.

He sighed as he lifted a box of jewelry onto the stand and began to unload it, "Hey Big Brother…" Liz whispered softly.

Luke nodded towards her, "Hey."

Luke had not told his sister about what happened with Lorelai. He knew that she would be excited about it, she had insisted that they were perfect for one another. But it was still new and he wasn't totally really to talk about it. Despite the fact that he had not said a word, it had not gone unnoticed by Liz that every time his phone rang his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"So TJ's brother is coming up this weekend. I was thinking...maybe you could head home. Check on the Diner and all that…" Liz said with a shrug.

Luke stopped placing the necklaces on their stand as he turned back to her, "Really?"

Liz smiled at him, "Of course. You were so great to drop everything and run up here. But I know you have a business of your own…" She shrugged, "And a life…"

Luke's face flushed and he looked around, "I mean...it would be good to check on things. But I don't want to go if you guys really need the help."

"No we'll be just fine." Liz said with a smile, "It will be good for you to get away for a few days. Don't you think?"

"You mean to be in a place that doesn't only serve turkey legs and where people don't speak in old English? Yeah I'd like that a lot." He said with a smirk.

"Well good! He should be here pretty soon...why don't you go back up your bag and get on the road. It's a long drive back to the Hollow." She said with a smile.

"You're really sure about this?" Luke asked skeptically, but on the inside his heart was doing flip flops at the idea of getting two full days to spend with Lorelai Gilmore.

Liz nodded, "Yep. Get out of here."

Luke nodded slowly and glanced around, "Okay well..you call if something changes and I'll come right back up. If not then I'll be back sometime Sunday night."

"Great." Liz said as she watched him back away, "Say hi to everyone back home…" She said with a sparkle in his eyes.

Luke smiled, "Uh...I will."

When he was out of her eye sight, he practically ran to his truck and packed up everything he would need for the next few days. He glanced at his phone and noticed it was dead, he would charge it in the car. He thought about calling Lorelai to tell her about his visit, but he thought surprising her would be more romantic. He couldn't wait to see her face...and he seriously hoped he'd get the chance to kiss her again. Three weeks was torture…

* * *

At the Inn later that afternoon, Lorelai was going through the motions of her day as she had done for the last three weeks. She was still barely speaking to Rory and she missed Luke more and more with each passing day. It was crazy to her that they had barely even begun their relationship but she was already happier than she had been with any other man. Luke had been her best friend for so long that she thought that it would be strange to transition from just friends to something more...but so far it felt easy.

Then again other than a few kisses, they had really only been able to talk over the phone. Luke had been gone for three weeks and she had no idea when he would be home. He had asked her to not change her mind before he came back...but she wasn't worried about that. She knew that this was right and it was about damn time for it to happen.

She had her back to the front desk as she wrote herself a note about what they needed in inventory when she suddenly heard a familiar voice, "Excuse me but I was wondering if I could speak to the owner?"

Her head snapped up and she practically fell over as she turned, "Luke?"

He smiled at her and her knees buckled, "Hey…"

"Hey!" She said with a nervous laugh, "What...what are you doing here?"

He shrugged, "TJ's brother was going up this weekend to help out so Liz said I could come home for a few days."

"I…" She looked him up and down for a moment and wondered how she had ever been able to not be this physically attracted to him, "I...I can't believe you're actually here."

He shrugged nervously, "Yeah..I'm having a hard time believing it myself."

She glanced around the Inn, "When did you get back into town?"

"Just now." He said softly as nervousness began to creep into his voice, it seemed much easier to speak over the phone.

"You didn't check on the Diner first?" She asked as she cocked her head to the side.

He shook his head, "Nope. Came straight here. Thought this was more important...wanted to make sure nothing had changed."

She gave him a small smile as she whispered, "Nothing's changed…"

He nodded slowly, "Good...that's really good." They stared at each other for a moment before he snapped out of his Lorelai daze, "So um...I know it's kind of last minute...but do you want to maybe grab dinner tonight?"

Lorelai grimaced, "Damn...I wish I could Luke. But I uh...I'm working tonight."

He felt a pang of regret run through his chest, "Oh...I didn't realize you were going to be working nights here too."

"Just sometimes…" Lorelai said nervously, "I've been picking up more shifts just because…" She shrugged, "You know...not much else going on. I didn't expect you to be home...I wouldn't have if-"

He shook his head, "No hey. It's alright. I should have called or something...I was just trying to uh...surprise you."

She smiled at him, "Well you did. You let your actions speak...it's the romantic way to do things damn it."

He laughed a little and looked down, "Uh yeah...I've heard that somewhere."

She swallowed hard wishing more than anything she could run off with him for the night, "God I'm sorry Luke...I so wish I could blow work off. But since the place is barely a month old…"

He nodded slowly, "I get it. Don't worry. I'm here until Sunday afternoon...so maybe we can do something before then?"

"Absolutely." Lorelai said beaming at him, "I would love that."

He nodded again and nervously cleared his throat, "Okay...great. Well I'll...I'll call you." He glanced towards the door, "I guess I'll head to the Diner...make sure it's still standing."

She smiled regretfully at him wishing he could stay, "It's still standing. But it's not the same without you. Caesar's burgers are dry…"

He smirked, "I'll try and give him a lesson to make sure that the Burger's are up to your standard from now on."

"I appreciate that." She said with a hopeful smile, "Call me later? I'm here all night and I'm sure I'll be pretty bored."

Luke smiled, "You got it."

Luke turned to walk out of the Inn and he smiled when he made it to the door. Three weeks ago he had done one thing he had wanted to do for years...in this very spot he had kissed Lorelai Gilmore. He turned slowly with a little smirk on his face and he saw that she had a matching smile on her own.

"Call me later." Lorelai whispered again.

Luke put his hand on the door knob and nodded, "I will. Goodbye Lorelai."

"Bye Luke." She said giving him a slight wave as he left.

When she heard the truck pull away she sighed and suddenly wished she had not opened the damn Inn. If she didn't have a job she'd be free to have her first official date with Luke Danes. But then if she hadn't of had the test run, she figured that magical kiss may not have happened at all. She took a deep breath and tried to keep herself from running out the door after him.

"Earth to Lorelai." Sookie called from beside her as she waved a hand in front of her.

Lorelai jumped and looked over at her best friend, "Oh hey! Sorry...what's up?"

Sookie smiled, "You're thinking about Luke…"

Lorelai blushed and bit her lip nervously, "He just came by to visit. TJ's brother is helping out for the weekend so he came home for a few days."

"He's here? If he's here why the heck are you not with him?" Sookie asked excitedly.

Lorelai sighed, "Uh because I'm working tonight…"

Sookie frowned, "Can't we make Michel do it?"

Lorelai laughed, "I wish I could Sook but I can't. He will be here until Sunday and I will make sure that we have time together before he leaves."

Sookie sighed, "Aw man...this must be driving you crazy."

Lorelai leaned against the desk and sighed dreamily, "I just couldn't believe that he was actually standing in front of me...everything happened so fast and then he was gone! It's been hard to process it all."

"But you're happy right? I mean you want this? You want to be with Luke?" Sookie asked.

Lorelai nodded slowly, "I mean I'm scared to death Sookie...Luke has been such a huge part of my life. He's an amazing guy...and I don't want to screw this up."

"I know. But you guys have been dancing around each other for years. This is your big chance! Don't be too afraid to let him in." Sookie said sadly.

"I don't want to be and I don't think I am. I just have to work tonight so I can't hang with him...I'm not running." She said pointing a finger at her friend, "I know that look on your face...I'm not running from Luke."

Sookie nodded, "Just checking…" She looked around and suddenly got an idea but she made sure to keep it from Lorelai, "Okay. Well I need to run to Doose's to pick up a few things for dinner tonight. I'll be back quick. Do you need anything?"

Lorelai pouted, "Just another 24 hours to fit in that hunk of a man I'm kind of seeing?"

Sookie laughed, "I'll see what I can do about that. Be right back!"

Lorelai gave her a slight wave and once again tried to keep herself from getting distracted.

* * *

Sookie quickly got in her car and made her way into town. She had no real reason to go to Doose's, she had another destination in mind. She pulled up outside of the Diner and hopped out of the car as she practically skipped into the Diner.

"Hey Luke!" Sookie said clapping her hands excitedly.

Luke turned from his conversation with Caesar and glanced at Sookie, "Hey Sookie...what are you doing here?"

"Lorelai said you were home and I have a proposition for you." Sookie said walking over to the counter.

Luke raised an eyebrow, "A proposition about what?"

"Well since Lorelai has to work tonight...and you guys should be spending the day together...I think we can arrange that." Sookie said, "I usually make Lorelai take a dinner break around 7 and I thought I could make you guys dinner and you could come by and have dinner with her!"

Luke thought about it for a moment, "I don't want to interrupt her during work…"

"Oh come on Luke! She is so upset that she has to work. She wants to spend as much time with you as she can while you're home. This is the perfect opportunity! She will just be doing inventory and hanging around the Inn. She will need company! Don't you want to spend time with her?" Sookie asked giving her a pretend angry look.

He sighed, "Sookie of course I do. You know I do. But...are you sure?"

Sookie smiled, "Being part owner I can guarantee that it is more than okay Luke. Come by at 7 and I'll have everything else taken care of."

"Okay…" Luke said softly, "I'll be there. Should I call and tell Lorelai?"

Sookie shook her head, "No. Let's surprise her. She'll be so excited! How romantic!"

Luke smirked, "I was trying to surprise her and be romantic by not telling her I was coming in the first place and it didn't work out so well…"

"Would you stop worrying so much? I've got this under control." Sookie said as she walked to the door, "Don't be late!"

Luke gave her a quick wave, "I'll be there…"

* * *

At 6:55, Lorelai was in her office searching for her paperwork she needed to do inventory with. She kept glancing at her phone and wondered when and if Luke would call her. Her stomach was starting to rumble and she was just about to get up and go to the kitchen when Sookie walked in.

"Hey! I'm starving! Any leftovers?" Lorelai asked.

"I have dinner waiting for you actually." Sookie said with an excited face, "And you have a guest joining you."

Lorelai frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Come with me…" Sookie said as she grabbed her elbow and started to lead her out of the office, "He's waiting."

"Who's waiting?" Lorelai asked curiously, they rounded the corner and Lorelai gasped when she saw Luke standing in the Dining room by a table set for two.

"Hey…" Luke whispered nervously.

"Hey…" Lorelai said with a huge smile, "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I told him to come." Sookie said pushing her towards the table, "I made you dinner. You are going to sit and enjoy it together. And you aren't going to worry for a second about work."

Lorelai glanced back at her friend as she shoved her towards Luke, "Sookie I'm technically on the clock here."

"Yes but you you are part owner so it doesn't matter and I own the other half and I sure as hell don't care." Sookie said giving her a hard shove.

Lorelai tried to catch herself but Luke grabbed her first to keep her from falling, "Smooth Sookie…"

Sookie smiled devilishly, "Have fun you two!" She dimmed the lights and turned on slow romantic music as she ran back to the kitchen.

Lorelai swallowed hard and looked back at Luke who was still holding her, "Um...thanks."

He shook his head, "No problem." He let her stand up quickly and walk to her side of the table, "Is this too much?"

Lorelai glanced back up at him, "No! No it's great. I'm sorry I just...wasn't expecting this. Gotta go from work mode to…"

"Date mode?" He asked with a slight smirk.

Lorelai blushed and she nodded slowly, "Yes...date mode."

Luke took a deep breath and reached for her chair to pull it out for her, "So...want to sit?"

She smiled and took the seat, "How very chivalrous of you…"

Luke smiled as he sat across from her, "There is a certain way to do this...and I plan to do it right."

Lorelai put her hand under her chin and smiled up at him, "A certain way to do this huh? Your Mom taught you right..."

Luke smirked, "My Mom and my Dad. You pull a chair out for a woman...hold the door open for her. Buy flowers…"

Lorelai smiled, "You already covered that part. But...I thought you said you never bought a girl flowers before."

Luke's face flushed and he shrugged, "Nope. You're the only one."

"Well I feel special." She said with a soft nervous smile as she glanced down at her hands.

"You are special." Luke said in a confident sexy voice that sent a shiver down her spine.

She swallowed hard, "I think I need a drink…"

Luke smiled and reached for the bottle of wine Sookie had brought out and began to pour her a glass, "Here you go m'lady."

Lorelai giggled, "What are you going to drink?"

Luke smirked and held up a beer, "Sookie's got it covered…"

Lorelai smiled, "She's quite a woman that Sookie...I'll have to remember to thank her later."

Luke nodded, "I promised her a life supply of danishes if she made this happen tonight…"

Lorelai smirked and took a sip of her wine, "Anxious to get me alone again?"

Luke chuckled as he took a swig of his beer, "Uh yeah…"

"Been thinking about me while you've been away in the woods Butch?" She said with a flirtatious smile.

He smirked, "What do you think?"

She blushed and looked down again, "You're the one that kissed and ditched me…" She teased and looked back up at him with a pout, "World's biggest tease…"

"Trust me it wasn't part of the plan." Luke said sighing, "And neither was Kirk interrupting us butt naked."

She threw her head back and laughed, "You'll be happy to know that he can now sit in a chair comfortably and he does not think there will be any permanent damage."

Luke groaned, "I wasn't worried to be honest but thanks for the update."

She smiled, "He has said that he owes you for saving him from the assassins." She said trying to talk with a serious face, "He says you are forever his hero."

"Great…" Luke said rubbing his hands on his thighs, "I can only imagine what he'll try to do to make it up to me."

"I heard through the grapevine he was meeting with Miss Patty to orchestrate some sort of dance in your honor." She said with a hand on her heart, "We'll get front row tickets to the show of course."

"Uh no thanks. I'll pass on that." Luke said with a dry laugh.

"Spoilsport." Lorelai said with a smile, she took another sip of her wine. "So…"

He took a swig of his beer and smiled at her, "So…" He cleared his throat, "How's Rory?"

Lorelai's smile slowly faltered and she looked down at her glass, "Oh. She's great! Enjoying Europe with my Mom. I'm sure it's a very different trip than the one we took last year."

Luke studied her expression before whispering, "You ever going to tell me what happened between you two?"

She looked up at him quickly, "What do you mean?"

He smiled softly at her, "Lorelai I've known you for eight years. I know when something is bothering you. Every time I have brought up Rory on the phone you have found a very clever way to avoid the question. What's going on?"

Lorelai sighed, "It's complicated…"

"You know you can tell me anything…" Luke whispered, "I want to help if I can."

Lorelai grimaced, "It's not that I don't trust you Luke...it's just I'm not sure it's something Rory would want you to know."

Luke frowned, "Is she okay?"

Lorelai nodded quickly, "Yes. Yes she's fine. I promise. She's just…" She let out a shaky breath, "She's going through a weird transition right now…" She smiled sadly, "She's just making some bad choices…"

"But...she's not in any trouble or anything?" Luke asked as he leaned against the table, "She doesn't need help?"

Lorelai smiled at his concern for her daughter, "I promise that she is okay. If it was anything really serious...I'd tell you."

Luke nodded slowly, "Well good...because I'd do anything for Rory."

"I know." Lorelai said with a soft voice, "Trust me...I've never had any doubt about that."

Luke looked down nervously and smiled, "I'd do anything for you too...just in case you weren't sure."

"I think giving me thirty thousand dollars to make my dreams come true pretty much sealed the deal on that for me." She said never taking her eyes off of him.

He looked up and shrugged, "It was no big deal…"

She rolled her eyes, "Luke it was a big deal. A very big deal and you will never know how grateful I am for what you did. This place wouldn't be standing if it weren't for you."

Luke shook his head, "No...you would have figured it out on your own. You always do."

"Sometimes you give me too much credit…" Lorelai said with a smirk, "I'm not as put together as I appear."

Luke shook his head, "Sometimes you don't give yourself enough credit...you're an amazing woman Lorelai Gilmore."

She took a deep breath and smiled, "Well you definitely know how to sweet talk a girl Mr. Danes…"

He shook his head, "Not trying to sweet talk to you. Just being honest…"

Lorelai looked down and began to play with the ring on her finger, "Luke...you're a good guy. A really good guy…" She glanced back up, "I've never dated a good guy before...not like you."

Luke swallowed hard as he shifted nervously in his seat, "Is that a good thing?"

She smiled, "I think so...I mean I hope so. I just...don't want to screw this up."

Luke shook his head, "Neither do I…"

"Well at least we can agree on that." Lorelai said lifting her glass, "Here's to not screwing it up."

Luke smirked and lifted his beer, "I'll cheers to that."

They both took a sip of their drinks and couldn't take their eyes off of each other. The kitchen door opened again and Sookie and two servers came out with plates full of food.

"Okay! Dinner is served! It took me awhile to decide on what to make...didn't want anything too spicy or garlicky because you know that will be awkward to make out with later." Sookie said pointing between them.

"Sookie!" Lorelai said as Luke laughed from his side of the table, "Subtlety has never been your strong suit…"

Sookie rolled her eyes, "Oh please...do you know how long I've been waiting for this to happen? No reason for me to be subtle…" He smirked at Lorelai and put a hand over her mouth to whisper to her, "I bet this table would be good for-"

"Thanks for dinner Sookie! Looks delicious!" Lorelai said jumping up as she pushed her towards the kitchen and took the plates, "Go home to Jackson now! We'll be fine."

Sookie poked her head around the corner and smirked, "I want a play by play tomorrow."

"Go home Sookie!" Lorelai said with a laugh as she handed Luke his plate of food.

"Fine. Have fun! And be safe!" Sookie said quickly as she ran through the door.

Lorelai sat down and put her head in her hands as Luke laughed across from her, "I need new friends…"

"At least I know that your friends already approve of me." He said with a smirk, "Takes part of the pressure off."

Lorelai laughed, "You don't have to worry about Sookie. She's been waiting for this for a long time…"

"Well that makes two of us." Luke said as his smile faltered slightly and he looked directly at her.

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Yeah?"

He laughed, "Uh yeah...does that freak you out?"

She shifted in her seat, "No…" She paused and swallowed hard, "Yes…"

He smiled, "We can take this at your pace Lorelai...I'm not going anywhere."

"That's good to know." She said softly, "Um...so we should eat. You know before the good gets cold…" She said looking down at her plate. "And sadly I have to get back to work at some point."

Luke nodded, "Right...I forgot."

She sighed, "I'm sorry…"

He shook his head, "Don't you dare apologize. Let's just...enjoy dinner, okay?"

Lorelai smiled and nodded, "I'd like that…"

"Good." Luke said as he glanced back at his plate, "Bon Appetit…"

Lorelai smiled at him and took her first bite of her food. She made a mental note to find the best way possible to thank Sookie in the morning for giving her her extra time with her hunky new man. This was definitely worth every second of the waiting during the last three weeks.

* * *

An hour later, dinner had been eaten and cleared and now they were standing by the front desk again. Lorelai was stalling for as long as possible but she knew at some point she had to get some inventory done.

"I really wish I didn't have to work right now…" Lorelai said looking down at her hands on the desk, "But I have so much inventory to do."

Luke shrugged, "I can uh...help if you want?"

She looked back up at him in surprise, "You want to do inventory with me?"

He smirked, "It probably isn't the first activity I'd choose to do with you…" He paused and laughed at her smirk, "That was kidn of dirty wasn't it?"

She nodded slowly, "A little…"

He groaned and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I didn't mean it to me...I just meant."

She laughed and reached for his hand to calm him down, "I know. It's okay."

He nodded slowly and glanced down at their joined hands, "I happen to know a thing or two about doing inventory...I can help." He shrugged, "If you want…"

Lorelai smiled at him, "I guess you really like me if you're willing to give a night off to sit in a closet with me." She grimaced, "Wow that was kind of dirty too…"

Luke laughed, "What are we playing 7 minutes in heaven or putting away soap?"

"Can we do both?" She asked with a saucy smile that made him swallow hard, she giggled and walked towards the office, "I'll let you think it over for a minute…"

Luke watched her walk away and he was pretty sure that she was swaying her hips a little more than usual. He took a deep breath and tried to remind himself this was only their first date and he had to be as patient as possible. He didn't want to scare her away before he fully got his chance to prove how much he wanted to be with her.

Lorelai walked back out of the office and smiled at him, "Ready?"

Luke took a deep breath and followed her, "Lead the way…"

Lorelai smiled and lead him to the back room where the inventory took place. She pushed aside a few boxes and put the paperwork out on the clear shelf.

"Okay so...basically all the shelves are labeled because I'm still at the stage where I care about organization." Lorelai said with a smirk making Luek laugh, "So if you can just count things and put them on the shelf they belong on that would be great. CHeck it off on the list when it's done and that's about it…" She turned towards him slowly, "Or you can still get out of this if you want."

Luke shook his head, "I want to help. I figure if you get it all done tonight...maybe you'll have more time to hang out with me tomorrow?"

She smiled at him as she handed him the first box, "So you have purely selfish motives?"

Luke nodded and opened the box, "Precisely." He groaned when he saw what was in the box, "I hate these damn robes…"

Lorelai glanced down into his box and laughed when she saw the yellow robes staring back up at her, "Still haven't gotten that image out of your head huh?"

"It's permanently burned in there." Luke said pointing to his head, "I wish they made bleach for your brain."

She smirked, "They do...it's called massive amounts of tequila."

Luke laughed, "I'll have to try that."

She smiled and took the box from him and whispered flirtatiously, "Or maybe someday I can just give you a better visual with the robes…"

Luke swallowed hard, "Are you flirting with me?"

She smirked, "Luke...we've been flirting for 8 years now."

He nodded slowly, "True...but this is a little different. Don't you think?"

She blushed, "Definitely different...but in a good way right?"

He stepped closer to her slightly, "Definitely in a good way…"

She bit her lip nervously as she looked down at his lips, "You know...if you wanted to try for that third kiss...I can pretty much guarantee that Kirk won't interrupt us this time."

He licked his bottom lip and stepped closer still, "Are you sure? We are in a closet?"

She put the box on the shelf and turned back to him, "I think I like your idea of 7 minutes in heaven much better than doing inventory…"

He groaned as she put a hand on his chest, "Lorelai…"

"Three weeks Luke…" She said with a breathless voice, "Kiss me."

He didn't need anymore prompting as he grabbed her hips and pulled her close for a passionate kiss. They both moaned at the initial physical contact and she soon melted into him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her as close as humanly possible and they stumbled backwards until Lorelai's back hit the far wall.

"Sorry…" Luke mumbled as he pulled away slowly.

"S'okay." Lorelai said inbetween kisses, "I hardly noticed." She kissed him again, "Very distracted at the moment…"

Luke sighed into her mouth as he whispered, "Is this really happening?"

She bit his bottom lip and traced it with her tongue, "It better be...because if this is another one of my torturous dreams I'm going to be really pissed when my alarm goes off."

"Lorelai…" He said with a laugh as he pulls away slightly, "Wait…"

She tried to catch her breath, "What...did you change your mind already?"

He caressed her cheek slowly and shook his head, "No. I haven't changed my mind about a thing...I just...I don't want to rush this."

Lorelai put her hand over his on his cheek and smiled, "I didn't say I was dragging you upstairs just yet...I just…" She took a nervous breath and felt color flood her cheeks, "Three weeks Luke...you can't kiss a girl like that and then run off...makes her feel a little self conscious."

Luke leaned forward and kissed her softly, "Trust me...I didn't want to leave. Not when I had finally got you where I want you…"

She smiled at him, "I know. But you have to leave me again soon...so make the most of the time we do have."

"This is insane...we're in a closet…" Luke said with a laugh as he glanced around him, "We're surrounded by mini shampoos and towels...hardly romantic…"

She shook her head, "I disagree...definitely on my top three romantic moments so far."

He raised an eyebrow, "I'm afraid to ask what the other two are. I'm assuming it's a thousand yellow daisies…"

She shook her head slowly, "Didn't make the cut. But dancing with my best friend at his sister's wedding and him kiss me for the first time in my new Inn did…"

Luke took a deep breath, "Lorelai…"

"I want this." Lorelai whispered, "I think I've probably always wanted this Luke...I've just been afraid to let it happen. You mean so much to me...and I hate to think about the possibility of losing you."

"You won't." Luke said squeezing her hips gently, "No matter what happens...I'll still be here."

She nodded slowly, "You say that now…"

"I mean it." Luke said, "You mean a lot to me too Lorelai...more than you could possibly know. I'm not taking this lightly...this isn't just something I decided I wanted overnight. I've thought about it a lot…"

"Yeah?" She said asked as she leaned into him slightly, "How do you think it's going so far? You disappointed?"

Luke smiled and shook his head, "Not in the slightest. It's much better than I ever dreamed it would be."

She raised an eyebrow and smiled softly, "And to think it's just the beginning…"

"That's the exciting part." Luke said tracing her jaw with his strong fingers, "Can only get better from here, right?"

"If it gets much better it might kill me…" She said with a laugh as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I've never…" She blushed and looked down.

"I know what you mean…" Luke whispered softly as he lifted her face to meet his again, "That's why I know that this is right…"

She nodded slowly, "It is...isn't it?"

"Yes." Luke said as he leaned forward, "I'm going to kiss you again...is that okay?"

"It's more than okay…" She said pulling him closer, "You don't have to ask."

Luke smiled as he leaned all the way in and let his lips meet hers. They successfully made out for more than the allotted seven minutes until Luke pulled away claiming any longer might actually kill them. Lorelai smiled as he stood beside her and did the inventory to insure that the rest of their weekend could be spent in a non work environment.

* * *

The next day and a half passed in a blur. Other than sleep they spent every waking minute together. She dragged Luke to another one of Taylor's crazy summer festivals and he pretended to hate every second. But they both knew he was was quite happy to be there with her. That night she had reminded him that he still owed her dinner and a movie which he gladly took her too. He was even happier when she picked a scary movie which made her all the more willing to sit as close as humanly possible on the big red couch. She was practically sitting in his lap by the end and he had no complaints about it…

He had walked her home...and they sat on her porch laughing and talking late into the evening. And of course...there had been more kissing. Each kiss somehow got better than the last and Luke wasn't sure how he had possibly lasted the last three weeks without her. And he sure as hell wasn't sure how he was going to leave the following day. When he finally dragged himself back to his apartment, he asked her to come by the Diner in the morning for breakfast before he left. She was more than happy to oblige but hated to to think about the part about him leaving…

That night she had lay awake in bed staring up at the ceiling trying to calm her racing heart. She had had her fair share of relationships in her life. But not one of them had felt like this. Not one of those other guys made her heart race the way Luke did. She wondered how she had let the last 8 years pass by without pouncing on him before now. And now he had to leave again...and she was pretty sure the next few weeks were going to be even more torturous than the last three had been.

When she pulled herself out of bed, she made sure to take extra care in getting ready. She wanted to look her absolute best since it would be the last picture Luke had of her for awhile. She decided to walk to the Diner because it was such a beautiful day and it would give her time to calm herself enough before seeing him.

When the bells above the door jingled, he looked up from behind the counter and smiled brilliantly at her, "Morning."

She smiled and walked up to the counter, "Morning."

"Give me two minutes." Luke said as he poured her a coffee cup to go.

She frowned when he handed it to her, "Oh...I thought I was having breakfast here?"

Luke shook his head, "Changed my mind...we're having breakfast together by the lake."

Her smile grew, "Really?"

He shrugged and whispered as he leaned closer to her, "Last time I get to see you for a bit...I don't want any distractions." He said nodding his head towards Kirk, Patty and Babette who were staring directly at them.

Lorelai blushed, "Smart thinking…"

Luke smiled, walked into the kitchen and she watched him talk to Caesar. She was sure he was checking in with him before he headed back to New Hampshire. She bit her lip nervously as she waited and wished she could stretch the new hour or two out as long as possible. She smiled when he came back over to her, picked up two bags and beckoned for her to follow him.

She walked with him through the back entrance and out to the truck which was all packed and ready to go. He opened the passenger door for her which earned him a smile and a soft peck on the lips before she climbed in. They drove off towards the lake in comfortable silence and Luke handed her a blanket as he carried out the food for them.

Lorelai set out the blanket near the edge of the lake and sat down as she picked up her coffee again, "This was a good idea…"

Luke nodded and opened the first bag, "I just made breakfast sandwiches...hope that's okay. Pancakes don't travel well."

Lorelai smiled and took hers from him, "It's perfect. Thanks."

Luke watched her for a moment and noticed that the light in her eyes from the night before had dulled slightly, "Hey...you okay?"

She looked over at him and tried to give him a big smile, "I don't want you to leave…"

He sighed and looked down at his own breakfast, "I know...I don't want to go either. But Liz needs me…"

Lorelai nodded slowly, "I know. And I love that you are going to help her...it shows what a great man you are. It's just…" She picked off a piece of bacon from her sandwich and chewed it softly, "I need you too…" She blushed as she looked over at him and took a deep breath, "And that scares me…"

"I'm not going anywhere…" He whispered and then rolled his eyes, "I mean technically yes I am...at least for a few more weeks. But...I'll be back."

She nodded slowly and tried to smile, "And you think you'll still want…"

"Yes." He said quickly without letting her finish her sentence, "Of course I will. Is that what you're afraid of?"

She sighed and put her sandwich down on the bag in beside her, "No...I mean not really. I just…" She swallowed hard and looked out over the lake, "You've known me for eight years...so why now?"

Luke let out a nervous breath and sighed, "Um...I guess I just couldn't ignore it anymore. I didn't want to ignore it...I didn't want to wait."

She looked over at him and smiled shyly, "You could have anyone you wanted Luke...why the heck do you want someone as messed up as me?"

"Lorelai...I told you the other night. I think you're amazing. You drive me completely insane sometimes with the coffee and junk food consumption...but everything about you intrigues me. I feel like I've gotten to know you pretty well...but I want to know more." He shrugged, "I just want a chance…"

She leaned into him, "I haven't changed my mind if that's what you're worried about...just making sure you haven't changed yours."

He shook his head, "Nope. And I can guarantee I won't."

She nodded slowly and picked up her sandwich again, "Good. I can eat now that that is settled."

Luke chuckled, "You're nuts…"

"About you." She said with a smirk, "And now you're stuck with me so get used to it."

Luke smiled at her, "You know...I think I will…"

She blushed and continued to eat as they fell into a comfortable conversation again. Neither one of them wanted to think of their separation again. So for now they were happy with what the had, just a few stolen hours by the lake with no prying eyes to interrupt their time together.

* * *

Once they were done, Luke drove Lorelai to the Inn so she could get some work done. He got out ofthe car and walked around the side to let her out, he could see that her eyes were welling up with tears and he sighed.

"Lorelai…" He whispered softly as he pushed her gently against the side of the truck.

She sighed, "I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me. It's not like you're going off to war…" She said with a laugh as she wiped at her eyes, "I'm being really stupid. Liz and TJ need you, you should go."

He took her hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze, "I'll be back as soon as I can."

She nodded and glanced up at him with tear filled eyes, "I'll be right here."

"God this sucks…" He said as he leaned his forehead against hers "I would finally get the courage to ask you out and then have to leave...just my luck."

She laughed and held onto his arms as his hands went to her waist, "I'm not going anywhere Luke...I promise."

He pulled back just enough to see her eyes, "Good."

She ran a hand over his cheek and smiled, "You should get in the car before I think of a thousand excuses as to why you should stay…"

"I only need one." He said with a smirk, "One really good one…"

She laughed and pushed him back slightly, "No...you're going back. You have too. Besides...they say that absence makes the heart go fonder…" She said with batted eyelashes.

"That's true…" Luke said wiping away a stray tear, "Will you thank Sookie for me? Tell her as soon as I get home she can have all the danishes she wants. All on the house."

Lorelai laughed, "I'll tell her. But what about me?"

He rolled his eyes, "You hardly pay as it is...what do I get out of this relationship?" He teased.

She smirked at him, "Well…" She leaned forward and kissed him passionately on the lips, "I'll leave you with that preview and reminder that I did promise to give you a better visual with the robes…"

Luke groaned, "Is that supposed to make it easier for me to leave? Because it's making it much, much harder…"

Lorelai giggled, "Dirty!" She said slapping his chest.

"I meant it to sound dirty." Luke said with a smirk, "That was mean…"

She shrugged and leaned against the truck again, "Now you know how I felt...you kissed and ran buddy. Not nice…"

He sighed and rested his hands on her hips again, "I am going to the next Doctor's appointment with TJ and Liz. I need an exact timeline as to when they can walk on their own again."

She smiled at him, "Whether it's two weeks...or ten...I'll still be here." She leaned forward and kissed him softly, "But I'd prefer two...or even one."

Luke smiled back and kissed her gently, "I'll see what I can do."

She groaned and scurried away from the truck, "Go...if you don't leave now I'll never let you leave me again."

He smiled, "I wouldn't worry about it too much…"

"Drive safe?" She asked softly as she crossed her arms over her chest suddenly feeling cold from the absence of him.

He nodded, "I will. I'll call you later too."

"Good." She said looking down as he walked around the truck and got into his seat.

He started the car and rolled down the window so she walked back over and leaned her elbows on the edge. He stared at her for a moment before leaning forward and she smiled and met him halfway to kiss him gently.

"Hey Luke?" She whispered as she pulled away slightly.

His eyes fluttered open and he nodded, "Yeah?"

"Remember how you asked if anything had changed?" She asked as she ran a hand across his jaw.

Luke nodded slowly, "Yeah…"

She smiled gently and kissed him again, "I was wrong...everything has changed…"

He smiled and kissed her again, "I guess you're right. It's a good thing, right?"

She nodded slowly and pulled away a little, "It's a very good thing. Now get on the road before I change my mind and make you stay."

He nodded slowly, "I'll be back soon."

She smiled and winked, "And I'll be right here."

Luke took a deep breath, gave her a small wave and then reversed the truck out of the driveway. Lorelai smiled as she watched him drive way. As hard as the next few weeks would be...she knew after the last few days the wait would be more than worth it… 

* * *

**I figured after all the angsty post break up one's...it was time for a lighter one. Hope you liked it! I will update soon and like I said please check out my new story! Feedback is always appreciated ;)**


	11. Let Me In

**Heard this song on my ipod the other day and got this idea. It takes place during the episode Written in the Stars. Parts of their date we didn't get to see after he talked about the horoscope. Also back at the apartment but there is no real smut so no change in the rating. Based on the song "Let Me In" by Griffin House. Enjoy!**

 **She's out of my league**  
 **And that's the kind of girl I need**  
 **I am the underdog**  
 **But I'm about to take the lead**  
 **You ain't gotta worry about the others**  
 **They could never turn my head**  
 **And every time I'm with another**  
 **I wish it was you instead**  
 **And I'm not trying to force it**  
 **But I've got one thing on my mind**  
 **I'm not going anywhere soon**  
 **I'm on a mission, baby, I've got the time**  
 **Let me in, might as well be with you**  
 **Let me in, I know how to make you miss me**  
 **I got what you need**  
 **No hesitation when I bring**  
 **I'm your man**  
 **It's a promise and a ring**  
 **I got a secret for you**  
 **If you promise not to tell**  
 **Sometimes you feel a little closer to heaven**  
 **When you raise a little hell**  
 **Never give up on desire**  
 **You know how long I've waited around**  
 **You're only adding fuel to the fire**  
 **I won't be leaving till I wear you out**  
 **Let me in, I have got your number**  
 **Let me in, we're not getting any younger**  
 **You ain't got worry about the others**  
 **They could never be this real**  
 **And even if you're with another**  
 **You'll remember how I feel**  
 **Let me in, knock it out with just one touch**  
 **Let me in, I'm not asking for too much**  
 **I know how to make you miss me**  
 **You'll feel it when you kiss me**  
 **You'll feel it with me**  
 **You'll feel it with me**

* * *

"Hey, do you remember the first time we met?" She asked softly.

He stared at her surprised by her statement, "What?"

Tilting her head to the side she continued, "I'm just trying to remember the first time we met. It must have been at Luke's, right?"

He smiled and nodded, "It was at Luke's, it was at lunch, it was a very busy day, the place was packed, and this person -"

She gasped and pointed to her chest, "Ooh, is it me? Is it me?"

He smirked and continued, "This person comes tearing into the place in a caffeine frenzy."

Her smile grew on her face as she responded, "Ooh, it's me.

"I was with a customer. She interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee, so I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. So finally I turn to her, and I tell her she's being annoying - sit down, shut up, I'll get to her when I get to her." He said trying to sound annoyed.

"Y'know, I bet she took that very well, 'cause she sounds just delightful." She said with a smile.

"She asked me what my birthday was. I wouldn't tell her. She wouldn't stop talking. I gave in. I told her my birthday. Then she opened up the newspaper to the horoscope page, wrote something down, tore it out, handed it to me." He smirked at her.

Lorelai rolled her eyes and sighed, "God, seriously. You wrote the menu, didn't you?"

He ignored her comment and continued on, "So I'm looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under "Scorpio," she had written, "you will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away." I gave her coffee."

She laughed slightly and responded, "But she didn't go away."

Luke reached for his wallet "She told me to hold on to that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and carry it around with me," He pulled the worn piece of paper from his wallet and handed it to her, "one day it would bring me luck."

She inhaled slowly and watched him for a moment before taking the paper, "Well, man, I will say anything for a cup of coffee" She swallowed hard and looked down at the paper, "Um...I can't believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet?" She looked up and saw how serious he looked, "You kept this in your wallet…" She whispered again.

He gave her a quick nod, "Eight years."

She sucked in a breath and repeated his words, "Eight years."

Luke sighed and took the horoscope back to put safely back in his wallet before turning back to her, "Lorelai, this thing we're doing here - me, you - I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in." He paused to watch her reaction, when she didn't answer he pushed on, "Does that, uh - are you, uh, scared?"

The intensity from his gaze made her glance down quickly needed a moment to breath, "Um…"

"Too much?" He asked shifting nervously in his seat, he was worried he had ruined his chances before they had even really started.

She swallowed hard and ran her finger along the rim of her glass, "A little…"

He nodded in understanding. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, "I just thought you should know...that this isn't just a fling for me. This is something I've thought about."

She nodded slowly, "Me too…"

He raised his eyebrows slowly, surprised by her words, "Really?"

She laughed slightly, "Of course Luke. I mean...did you really think I felt nothing for you until you kissed me at the Inn? You've…" She inhaled sharply and looked down again, afraid to meet his eyes because she was sure it would give her feelings away, "You've been my best friend for…" She trailed off nervously.

"Eight years?" He said with a slight smirk.

She looked back up at him and smiled, "Yeah...eight years. That's a long time…"

He nodded and shifted a little closer to her, "Yes it is…"

"I mean Sookie and Rory are my best friends too. But it's…" She felt the rambling coming, it's what she did when she was nervous, "Well it's…"

"Different." Luke finished for her sensing she was nervous, he could always read her so well.

She nodded quickly and continued to glance at her hands, "Different. Yes. Very different. Not different in a bad way...but a good way. At least I think so…."

He nodded and smiled slyly at her, "Well I can safely say that I am glad you don't have the same feelings for me that you do Rory or Sookie." He shrugged, "Otherwise this date thing would be a little awkward…"

She couldn't help but laugh, "Luke…"

He tentatively reached for her hand and held it in his, "Look...I know this is a lot to take in. It's a big change for us."

"But at the same time it's not…" She whispered finally meeting his gaze, "In some ways...it's all been leading up to this. Hasn't it?"

He took a deep breath and nodded slowly, "I think so…"

She nodded and looked down at their joined hands, "That's the part that scares me I think…" She smirked, "Or at least one of the things that scares me…"

He let her have a moment before he whispered, "You know I'd never hurt you, right?" She glanced back up at him and gave him a look that said she wanted to believe him, "Not intentionally." He added.

She nodded slowly and scooted closer to him, "I do know that…"

He leaned in ever so slightly, "Good. That's good…"

She licked her lips slowly, she had been dreaming about kissing him since the night of the trial run. They hadn't had a moment alone together since and she was beginning to wonder if she had put too much hype into those few kisses. She needed to test the waters again to really know what she was feeling was right.

"Luke…" She whispered softly as they both leaned further in.

"Yes?" He asked as his eyes searched hers and their lips almost met.

She closed her eyes, expecting him to kiss her but was jolted from the moment when she heard Maisey's voice again. "Okay! Here we go. Dinner is served!"

Lorelai jumped back and slid to her side of the booth again, "Oh! Looks great Maisey! Th-Thank you!" She mumbled.

Luke took a deep breath, glanced from Lorelai to Maisey and tried to hide his disappointment, "Yeah. Looks great Maisey. Thanks."

"You holler if you need anything else." Maisey said as she walked away again and gave them a gentle wave.

Luke watched her go and then glanced back at Lorelai whose face was bright red as she stared down at her food, "Lorelai-"

"So...how are Liz and T.J. getting along without you?" She asked as she picked up her fork, "I'm sure they miss the extra help."

Luke shifted in his seat and sighed, the moment had passed and he was worried it wouldn't come back, "Oh uh...yeah I talked to Liz today. She said they were doing fine. T.J. was mumbling in the background about feeling abandoned," He rolled his eyes but she only laughed, "But I know for a fact he is just fine."

Lorelai smiled at him, "Not used to having him as your brother-in-law yet?"

Luke groaned, "I don't think I'll ever be used to it."

"Oh come on...compared to the others, he can't be that bad. Can he?" She asked as she took a bite of her food before she gasped. "Oh wow...this is good!"

Luke smirked, "Yeah Buddy and Maisey know what they are doing in the kitchen. And yeah I guess he isn't as bad as the others…"

Lorelai smiled, "Maybe he will grow on you." She took another bite, "By the way...you have some serious competition now my friend. I'm going to expect you to take me here again." Her face flushed at her words implying there would be another date.

Her words hadn't gone unnoticed by Luke and he couldn't hide the smile, "I'm sure they'd like that…"

Her face flushed and she looked down at her food, "Would they be the only ones who'd like it?"

He reached across the table and squeezed her hand again, "Definitely not."

When she looked up again, he was happy to see the light in her eyes was back, "That's good." She said letting herself relax slightly.

He smiled as they continued to eat and settled into comfortable conversation about everything from Rory, to the Inn, to Luke's ever growing hatred of Taylor Doose. By the time dinner was finished, Lorelai was full and happy. Maisey had brought them chocolate cake to go and they had said their goodbyes.

Luke put a hand on the small of Lorelai's back making her skin begin to burn with desire as he lead her towards the door. They walked silently to the truck and Luke opened the door for her. She paused slightly and turned back to him nervously.

"So...you know what goes good with chocolate cake?" She asked with a nervous smile.

He smirked at her, "Let me guess…" He put a hand on his chin pretending to think, "Coffee?"

She smirked right back, "You know me so well." She said giving his arm an affectionate squeeze as she climbed into the truck.

Luke let out a nervous breath and shut the door before walking around the side of the truck and climbing into the driver's seat. He started the car and began the journey back to Stars Hollow. He watched happily as she turned on the radio and hummed softly to some song he had never heard. He watched her fingers nervously drum on the take out box as she stared out the window.

Tentatively, he reached over and took her hand in his to still her movements. She glanced back at him, surprised by the physical contact. But he relaxed when she smiled back and scooted just a little closer to him. When they finally reached town, he pulled into his usual spot in the alley beside the Diner. He opened the door for her and she climbed down slowly as he lead her towards the Diner door.

"So…" She said as he unlocked the door, "You're really not going to give me any lectures about how coffee will rot my insides?"

He smirked as he closed the door behind her and watched her walk to the counter, "I figured I'd hold off on that until the second date."

She laughed as she took her usual stool, "Good to know."

He flipped the lights on and walked around the counter to put on a pot of coffee, "Yeah. I figured I have a better chance at a second date if I don't do to much nagging during the first one. And by the second date...we'll have worked out a few kinks so you may overlook the nagging and allow there to be a third date."

She smiled as she looked down at her hands on the counter, "I wouldn't worry too much…"

"No?" He asked as he leaned against the counter, "You want there to be a second date?"

She sighed happily and put her hand under her chin, "Very much so."

He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned his hips against the counter across from her, "Good. Me too."

She smiled sheepishly and licked her lips, "But maybe we shouldn't talk about a second date because the first date is still going...one at a time, right?"

He nodded slowly, "Right. I'm following your lead here...just so you know."

She raised an eyebrow, "That's never happened before…"

"You mean with me or in general on dates?" He asked curiously as he cocked his head to the side.

She smiled sadly, "I mean in general on dates. Most guys...assume things." She said with a blush creeping up in her cheeks "Probably not their fault...having a kid at 16 makes them think that...I'm…" She grimaced and shook her head quickly, "You know what...never mind. I don't know why I even brought that up."

Luke reached for her hand and held it in his, "Well most guys are jerks. So you had a kid at 16...so what? You're a great Mom. You're an amazing woman...and for the record I would never assume anything. Whatever you are comfortable with...I'm comfortable with."

Her eyes welled with tears as she glanced up at him finally feeling the weight of her feelings over take her, "You're not most guys…" She whispered.

He looked down at their joined hands and swallowed hard, "I like to think I'm not." He paused for a moment, "I mean it's not that I'm not…" He cleared his throat and nervously whispered, "attracted to you. Just to be clear…"

She smirked, "Well that's good…"

He glanced up at her quickly, "I'm very attracted to you…" He whispered in a husky voice, "But I would never pressure you for anything."

She nodded slowly and took her hand from his and lifted it to caress his cheek softly, "I know that...and I appreciate it. More than you could possibly know."

He nodded slowly and pulled away slightly as the timer went off on the coffee pot, "Let me get your coffee…"

She paused and grabbed his hand, "I'm not so sure I want coffee anymore…"

He turned back to her slowly and gave her a questioning look, "Oh. Okay...well do you want the cake? Or...do you want me to take you home?"

She swallowed hard and shook her head, "No. I don't want you to take me home."

He stared at her for a moment, trying not to read too much into the situation, "Lorelai…" He whispered.

"I think...I think I want you to take me upstairs." She said with a nervous breath, "I mean...I don't know if...not that I…" She sighed and couldn't help but laugh, "Man I suck at this."

Luke switched off the coffee, walked around the counter and sat beside her, "Lorelai...you don't have to feel like you need to prove something. I'm right here...and I'm not going anywhere."

She stared at him for a moment, trying to find the right words, "I just...I don't want tonight to be over yet. I don't know if that's what I want...I just...want to spend some time with you."

He smiled softly at her, "We are spending time together…"

Lorelai laughed and pointed towards the windows of the Diner, "I want to spend time with you in a place where no one else can see us…"

Luke followed the path of her finger and sighed when he saw East Side Tilly standing outside the window with shock written all over his face, "Aw Geez…"

Lorelai laughed and stood up, she took his hand in hers, "Come on...take me upstairs to your swinging Bachelor Pad. Let her mind wander. She's been lagging behind Patty and Babette on the gossip train...give her a little edge on them."

He chuckled, "Lorelai…"

Her face softened and she pulled him up as she squeezed his hand in hers, "I just...want to spend some time with you Luke. Please?"

Knowing he could never say no to her, he gave her a slight nod and quickly flipped off the lights. He gave Easy Side Tilly a wave and a smirk making Lorelai laugh as he walked back over to her, took her hand and led her up to the apartment. Lorelai waited patiently as he unlocked the door and stepped aside to let her into the apartment.

She gave him a small smile as she walked into the familiar space and looked around. She gasped as she looked into the corner and pointed to his bed, "You got a bigger bed!"

He blushed slightly and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah I...I figured it was time." He cleared his throat, "I figured if I was ever gonna let anyone in...I'd have to make space for them." He stopped and then back tracked, "Not that I'm assuming you'll be in my bed but-"

She laughed and walked over to him and gave his arm a squeeze, "Relax would you? I was just surprised...I wasn't teasing you."

He sighed, "I just don't want to screw this up…

She smiled and stepped all the way into him, "Luke...I'm not worried about you screwing it up."

He swallowed hard as he breathed in her perfume, "You're not?"

She shook her head and ran a finger along his jaw making him shiver slightly, "No. If anyone will screw it up...it will undoubtedly be me. It always is me…"

He hated to see the sad frown on her face that showed how little she believed in herself. He decided to take a risk and place a gentle hand on her hip making her eyes pop just for a moment before she relaxed into him, "Lorelai…

She licked her lips and let her eyes travel down to his, "I just...don't really get why you'd want me. For years I thought you couldn't stand me." She said with a laugh.

He smirked, "It was all an act. I was trying to pretend I didn't like you...because I didn't think you'd ever like me."

"You're a good man Luke." She said looking up at him before replying honestly, "Probably the best man I've ever known."

He swallowed hard, "Lorelai…"

"You've been the guy that always had my back…the guy I could call for anything. Even if it was the middle of the night and Rory was sick...you were there when I needed you. Always." She said swallowing hard as she felt the tears welling up in her eyes.

He squeezed her hips affectionately, "I'll always be there for you."

She nodded slowly and glanced down at his chest as her hands rested there, "I know…"

"Hey…" He whispered as he lifted her chin with his thumb and pointer finger, "What is it?"

She sniffled slightly, "Remember that...best friend thing we were talking about earlier?"

He nodded slowly, "Yeah...what about it?"

She took a deep breath and looked back at her hands as she rubbed the smooth material of his sweater, "I don't want to lose my best friend…"

"Oh Lorelai…" He said sadly as he pulled her closer.

"I don't want you to regret this decision...and change your mind. I'm afraid you'll realize that you made a mistake. That you should be with someone like Rachel or Nicole...someone who has it together more than me. I'm a hot mess Luke…" She said with a laugh as the tears fell, "I always have been and I probably always will. You deserve so much more…"

"I don't want Rachel or Nicole or any other woman for that matter." He said looking directly into her eyes, "I tried to make it work with them because I didn't think I'd ever get here with you. If you let me in...I can be that guy that you've been waiting for." He said nervously, "If you want me to be…"

She swallowed hard, "I do want you to be that guy...I want you to be MY guy."

He smiled at her, "I've always been your guy Lorelai." He smirked, "Why do you think Nicole hated you so much?"

"She hated me?" She said stepping back, "What did I ever do to her? I was always nice!"

Luke smiled, "You were. But she saw it…"

"Saw what?" She asked feeling annoyed that Nicole disliked her so much...not that she couldn't pretend she didn't like her either.

"That I wanted you." He said with a shrug, "So did Rachel...that's why she left last time."

Lorelai gasped, "Really?"

Luke smiled at her, "I told you...eight years Lorelai. Even when I was with them...I always wanted you."

She took a few calming breaths before she stepped up to him again, she had made up her mind, "Luke?"

"Yeah?" He asked as his hands settled on her hips again.

"I need you to kiss me again. I need to know I wasn't making it all up in my head." She said closing her eyes nervously, "I mean I feel it right now...but I…" She opened her eyes, "I need you to give me a little push so I won't be afraid to let you in…"

He licked his lips and pulled her flush against his body just as he had done that night all those months ago. He felt her trembling slightly and he tried to hold her still to assure her, he rubbed soothing circles on her back and felt her body relax against his. Without further hesitation, he tilted his head and pulled her lips against his like he had been dreaming about for months.

She moaned into his mouth as soon as they made contact and he felt her body relax more, he had to steady her to make sure her knees didn't give out. They stumbled only slightly and then he deepened the kiss making her cling to his sweater.

"Luke…" She whispered as he pulled away just enough to gage her reaction.

"What's the consensus?" He asked with a slight smirk trying to look more confident than he felt.

She giggled softly, "I definitely wasn't making it all up in my head…" She took a breath and wrapped her arms around her neck, "And I think we're both idiots for waiting so long to do that."

He chuckled as he pulled her close, "I can't argue with that…"

"Do me a favor?" She asked with an innocent smile that made him weak in the knees.

"What?" He asked trying to his mind from racing a mile a minute.

"Don't wait another eight years to do it again…" She whispered as she pulled at the soft hairs at the base of his neck.

He shook his head adamantly and leaned all the way in, "Definitely not happening." He mumbled before his lips found hers again.

He was surprised as her body shifted and she began to walk back towards the direction of his bed. He continued to kiss her but tried to pull himself from the fog growing inside of his head. As much as he wanted this...he wanted her to be comfortable first.

He pulled away just as the back of her legs met the edge of the bed, "Wait…" He said breathlessly as he tried to shake his head to find his bearings, "Lorelai I don't want you to think that you have too. I told you...I'm not going anywhere. This can wait…"

She took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of his bed to look up at him, "Luke...for the first time in my life I don't feel like I have to do anything. But I want to...I don't want to wait anymore. We've waited long enough…"

He swallowed hard and reached out his hand to caress her face, "Are you...sure?"

She put her hand over his and tilted her head slightly, "Are you sure you want to be my guy?"

He bent down just enough to kiss her and nodded as he pulled away, "More than anything…"

She nodded and moved her hands to the hem of his shirt, "Then I am sure I want to be with you." She said in a soft passionate voice, "Really be with you…"

He inhaled sharply when he felt her hands run along his abs, "Lorelai…"

"It's okay…" She said with a slightly nervous smile, "I won't bite." She smirked, "Unless you're into that sort of thing…"

"Lorelai…" He said unable to keep from laughing, "This is...I mean us...taking that step…"

"It's big…" She said as she stood up again, "I know...I can feel it." She said swallowing hard as she took his hand and placed it over her heart, "My heart's beating so fast I think I might pass out."

He laughed again, "Well I don't want that to happen...I definitely want you conscious for this…"

"Luke…" She whispered as she leaned up to kiss him again, "I trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone. I know this is right…"

He nodded slowly, "I just want to make you happy...I want you to feel safe and wanted."

"I do." She said beaming up at him, "With you I do...I want this." She said giving him a gentle kiss, "I want you…"

Luke's heart started pounding, "God...you have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that." He said crushing his lips against hers, "I want you Lorelai...I always have…"

She smiled and went to lie down on the bed, she stared up at him affectionately, "Show me what 8 years of wanting me feels like…"

He groaned and quickly pulled his shirt up over his head eager to feel skin on skin contact, "You're gonna be the death of me…

She laughed as he lay over her, "Yeah but what a way to go!" She yelled as his lips attacked her neck.

"No more talking." He said against her skin, but then paused, "Actually...you can talk a little…" He said biting down on her collar bone.

She gasped and felt a shiver run down her spine, "Luke!"

He grinned against her neck, "That's the kind of talking you can do…"

She laughed and pulled him against her again and crushed her lips against his. For the first time in a long time...she felt truly safe in the arms of a man. This was exactly what she had been waiting for all those years and she was damn glad she was finally letting him in.

* * *

An hour later, Lorelai rolled onto her back and tried to catch her breath, "Seriously? That's what I've been missing all these years?"

His face flushed and he felt both embarrassed and proud of himself, "Yeah well...there's a lot going on under the flannel the rest of the world doesn't get to see."

She giggled and snuggled up to his side, "Well I plan on being the only one that gets to see it from now on. You okay with that?"

He smiled and reached up to push her hair behind her ear, "More than okay with that…"

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him before settling into his side as she began to play with his hand, "I can't believe you kept that horoscope." She whispered in awe.

He smirked and took a deep breath, "You're just lucky I never clean out my wallet…"

She rolled her eyes, "You can't take it back now. You've exposed yourself. You've been pining for me…"

Luke laughed loudly, "I have not been pining…"

She nodded her head adamantly, "I'm your Ava Gardner."

"God help me." He said with a sigh, then he paused and glanced over at her, "Okay. Let's get something out of the way right now." He pulled away and reached into his nightstand for a pad of paper and a pen.

She watched him curiously and called out, "What? What are you doing?"

He settled in next to her and pointed at the paper, "Tell me what CD's to get so I don't have to hear about it."

The small gesture made her heart melt, "Seriously?"

"And skip any '80s groups where the guys dressed up like pirates. I draw the line at pirates." He said making sure to make a point.

She smiled and kissed his shoulder happily, "This has been a really great first date."

He smiled and turned his head towards her, "It only took us eight years to get here."

She took a deep breath, positioned her head and kissed him twice before pointing at the paper again making sure he didn't lose track of his initial purpose.

He nodded and turned back to the paper as he began to write, "Okay. So, U2, right?:

She pushed some hair out of her face and nodded, "Yeah, Bono is a must, and Blondie and, um, ooh - Sparks, especially the new one, plus Bowie."

He scoffed and turned back to her, pointing the pen at her, "Okay, I know he dressed up like a pirate."

She shook her head and replied, "Space man."

He turned back to the paper and nodded, "Space man I can deal with."

"Pat Benatar and any other female rocker because obviously they spoke to me in my youth." She said with a smirk.

"Obviously." Luke said with a laugh as he continued to write, "Any other requests?"

"Um…" She smiled, "The Bangles for sure! Oh and Madonna!"

"Oh great...the sales guy is gonna think I'm cracked." He said with a snort.

She laughed and kissed his shoulder again, "Just tell him you're trying to make your girlfriend happy and he'll understand."

He had been writing Madonna and he paused slightly to look over at her, "Girlfriend huh?"

Her face flushed and suddenly the nervousness was back, "I just...I sort of assumed...I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"

He put the paper down and rolled back on top of her, "Lorelai stop."

"I just...I mean this meant a lot to me so…" She swallowed hard and stared down at his chest hovering over hers.

He leaned down and pushed her face up to kiss her gently, "I only said that because I was figuring I'd ask you properly first…"

She raised an eyebrow and couldn't hide the smile on her face, "Oh really?"

He smiled and kissed her again, "Lorelai Gilmore...you wanna be my girlfriend?"

She sighed dramatically and pretended to think, "Do I get free coffee?"

He chuckled, "You practically get free coffee everyday anyway…"

She smirked up at him, "True...but is it guaranteed now?"

He laughed, "Sure. You can get all the free coffee you want."

She smiled triumphantly, "I'm gonna need to get that in writing." She paused again and ran her hand down his back, "Do I get you like this whenever I want?"

He groaned and nodded slowly, "Yep. You say the word, doesn't take much for you to get me riled up just so you know."

She giggled, "Very good to know. Any weaknesses I should know about?"

He laughed, "There are many. But if I tell you them I'll be a dead man and lose the little power I do have in this relationship."

She smiled at him and kissed him softly, "You have more power than you think my friend."

He pulled away and smirked down at her, "Friend?"

She bit her lip and shook her head, "I meant boyfriend…"

He smiled and kissed her softly a few times, "Does that mean you are accepting my proposal?"

She giggled and pulled him closer as she spoke in a fake southern accent, "Why yes Lucas I'd love to go steady with you! I thought you'd never ask!"

He laughed and pulled her close again, "I'd pin you but since you're naked...I should probably wait."

She threw her head back and laughed, "Please do!"

"Commere crazy lady…" He said with a smile as he rolled over onto his back and pulled her on top of him.

She sighed happily and sat up against his waist, the sheet fell around her hips and she smirked, "See something you like?"

"Mhm…" He whispered as he ran a hand up her side affectionately.

She bit her lip as her body began to react to his touches again, she sighed softly and let her eyes flutter shut as she whispered, "What's the consensus? Worth the wait?"

Luke leaned up slowly and cupped her face in his hands before pulling her down again, "More than worth it...but I am glad I don't have to wait anymore."

"Me too…" She whispered as she crushed her lips against his, "By the way...I hope you weren't planning on getting up early to work. I'm not tired yet…"

Luke inhaled sharply as her teeth bit into his earlobe, "Yep...definitely going to kill me." He groaned as her giggles sent vibrations through his body.

She pulled away, "So just checking here...you like the biting?"

He laughed and squeezed her hips encouragingly, "Uh huh…"

She raised an eyebrow and sat all the way up, "Good to know…" She scooted back slightly and smirked at him, "Although...I'll try not to bite during this…"

Luke gasped as she moved further south, his eyes found the ceiling and sighed happily, "Well looks like I made it to heaven...was never really sure they'd let me in. But damn...it's nice here."

He smiled when he felt her laughing against his skin and he said a silent prayer thanking who ever had given him the courage to finally admit his feelings. Lorelai Gilmore was definitely worth the wait...but he was glad the wait was finally over.

* * *

After another very satisfying round of getting to know each other...Lorelai lay against him and traced invisible patterns on his chest. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through her dark curls and kissed the top of her head.

"Happy?" He asked slowly as he felt her relax into him.

She lifted her head and smiled innocently at him, "Oh I'm sorry...I thought that was implied a few minutes ago…"

He smirked, "I didn't mean about that...I just…" He cleared his throat, "Just making sure you don't regret it…"

She inched up closer to hold his face in her hands, "Not even a little bit babe…" She leaned forward and gave him a sweet kiss, "I'm very happy."

He ran his hand along her spine and smiled, "Good. That's good…"

She nodded and bent down to rest her head in the crook of his neck, "So...um…" She shifted nervously and wrapped her leg around his, "Can I stay?"

He squeezed her tightly and nudged her to make her look at him, "You really think I'd make you leave?"

Her face flushed and she shook her head, "Well...I mean no but." She cleared her throat nervously, "I don't want to invade your personal space or anything…some people have certain sleeping routines they need to live by."

He couldn't help but laugh, "Seriously? Lorelai it took me 8 years to get you here...if you think I'm just gonna say see ya later you're crazier than I thought." He said giving her a teasing pinch on the behind.

She gasped, "Hey!" She laughed and swatted at his chest, "I was just asking…"

He squinted his eyes at her, "Have you seriously had guys who have asked you to leave?" He grimaced and closed his eyes quickly, "Wait...I don't want to think about other guys being with you at the moment. In fact I never want to think about it."

She smiled at him, "Um...you remember Jason?"

He frowned, "The putz with the Mercedes that showed up at the Inn?"

Lorelai laughed at his obvious jealousy, "Uh yeah...that'd be him."

"He made you leave?" Luke asked turning to look at her, complete shock written all over his face "God he's more of an idiot than I thought."

She laughed again, "Well he didn't make me leave...he just sort of preferred it if I stayed in his guest room. So he could have his space...or whatever."

Luke rolled his eyes, "God you've dated some big time losers. Who the hell in their right mind would ask you to sleep in a separate room? Is he insane? Did he not look at how gorgeous you are? Man if I ever see him again I'll make sure to give him a piece of mind." He said stubbornly.

She blushed again, "Well I appreciate the confidence boost. But aren't you kind of glad he was an idiot...that way I broke up with him which brought me here." She shrugged, "Not that I don't' think we would have ended up here anyway…"

He smiled and glanced back over at her, "Yeah well...he's an idiot."

She smiled and kissed him gently, "Looks like I traded up."

He frowned sadly, "I don't drive a Mercedes or have a hefty paycheck. I own a Diner." He said with a snort, "And I live above that Diner in the place that used to be my Father's office." He rolled his eyes, "Looks like you traded down…"

She looked at him sternly and held his face in her hands, "Hey! Don't talk about my guy like that."

"Lorelai…" He said with a sad sigh, "All those other guys we're very different from me…"

"And all your ex's are very different from me." Lorelai pointed out, "Do I scream snotty lawyer to you?"

He smirked, "Uh no...and trust me I'm thankful for that. I was trying to be with anyone just so I could forget about you for awhile...didn't work though."

She smiled at him, "We both were just picking the wrong people...but now we picked the right one." She swallowed hard, "You're different from those other guys because for some crazy reason you like me...crazy and all you like me. You don't want me to be someone different, right? You don't want to change me or make me eat french food?"

He smirked remembering their conversation years before, "No french food. But I'd like it if you drank less coffee…"

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah well...keep dreaming buddy cuz that's never going to happen." She ran a hand over his chest and smiled at him, "I'm happy Luke. Happier than I've ever been and we've only had one date." She lifted an eyebrow, "One exceptional date but still...I can't wait to see what happens next."

"Exceptional, huh?" He asked tucking her hair behind her ear, "Big word."

"I mean it." She said smiling as she lay on her back and pulled at his arms, "And for the record...you'll learn to love my coffee addiction."

He tilted his head to the side and looked at her curiously, "How do you figure?"

She smirked and leaned up to whisper in his ear, "Gives me lots and lots of energy…"

Luke laughed and braced himself on either side of her, "Remind me to make your coffee extra strong from now on."

She giggled as his lips found their way to her neck, "You'll get no complaints from me!"

She held him close as he kissed her from head to toe once again that night. Never in her life had she felt so comfortable and complete. This was not how she had pictured their evening to go...but she knew it was right. This was exactly where she belonged...and after 8 years she wasn't going to waste anymore time. It was finally time to let him in...

* * *

 **Pretty busy studying at the moment and working on my other story "Searchlight". But I will update when I get inspired and write a new chapter. Thanks guys! :)**


	12. Can't Let Go

**Hey guys! I was watching the episode "Say Something" from season 5 and the scene where Lorelai calls Luke and begs him to come over made me think up this story. This is actually based in season 7 just days after Lorelai tells Luke she slept with Christopher. And this time around...he's the one that calls her when he needs her. Just something I came up with and it goes with the song "Can't Let Go" by Adele. Enjoy!**

 _When did it go wrong...  
I will never know...  
I have loved you all my life  
How did it slow down  
I go round and round  
Thinking about it all the time!  
I gave you heaven on a platter baby  
I gave you everything you never gave me  
I never lied and I never faked it  
Only wanted for you to save me  
This love, it ain't all greed  
There's too much that I haven't said  
Did you find the note that I wrote!?  
I hid it in the seam of your coat  
It was hard to write with a lump in my throat  
Do you even know I can't let go?  
Why were you so cold, let the truth be told  
Tell me was it all for the thrill?  
What was I thinking, I gave you everything  
But you still went for the kill  
I gave you heaven on a platter baby  
I gave you everything you never gave me  
I never lied and I never faked it  
Only wanted for you to save me  
Did you find the note that I wrote?  
I hid it in the seam of your coat  
It was hard to write with a lump in my throat  
Do you even know I can't let go  
Ooohhhh sometimes I feel like I'm in the dark  
Ooohhhh I thought I died in your arms  
Did you find the note that I wrote?  
I hid it in the seam of your coat  
It was hard to write, I had a lump in my throat  
Do you even know that I can't let go  
Hope you know  
I won't let go..._

* * *

Luke Danes was sitting alone in his apartment. There was only one light on, the curtains were drawn and he didn't know what time it was. He was in deep. He lost count of all the beers he had consumed in the last few hours. But it didn't matter.

Downstairs there was a giant hole in the front of his Diner. And up here...there was a giant hole in the space where his heart used to be. He lifted the bottle to his lips again and took another long swing. It had been two days since he stood outside her house begging her to run away with him. He had bared his soul...something that did not come easy for him. And yet he had to do it...he had to tell her. Because in all their time together...he never told her how much she meant to him.

Anger and regret bubbled in his chest and he swung his arm back and tossed the bottle across the room. He heard it shatter but didn't care. He didn't care about a damn thing at the moment. All he cared about was the fact that his whole life had just completely crumbled in front of him.

He kept going over and over what happened the night that Lorelai showed up at the Diner. He had been looking for her for days but she seemed to be avoiding him. And then she was standing there and talking a mile a minute. Her eyes had looked tired and afraid and he wanted to comfort her. But she was telling him it was now or never and his heart and head couldn't get on the same page.

Of course he wanted to marry her. He thought she knew that. They wouldn't be engaged if he didn't. Yes...she had asked him. But he would have gotten around to it eventually...right? He grimaced and thought back to his unfortunate lack of communication with that beautiful woman. Hell he had waited 8 years to be with her because he was to afraid to admit how he felt. And even after he had her...he never really said it.

The first time he had said it, her eyes had welled up with tears and she had launched herself at him. He was dumbfounded by her reaction but when she pulled away and prepped his face with kisses and repeated over and over that she loved him too he just held her close and reveled in the feeling of her lips on his. He didn't say it much after that...if at all.

She wasn't an open book either, but there were times where she would say it. Sometimes when leaving for work, sometimes after they had made love. But he never said it back...only offered her a small smile. He thought that told her how he felt. But maybe she needed the words...Lorelai was a talker. Maybe she needed to hear it.

Why hadn't he said it? Why had he been so hesitant to set a date after April showed up? When Rory and Lorelai wasn't speaking he was the one pushing to set a date. He wanted to start their life together. He had a plan. He was ready and willing to jump as soon as she said go.

And yet everything had changed when April showed up. His life changed. And Luke Danes didn't do well with change. He needed time to process it. That's what he had been doing...processing. Right?

He sighed when he thought really hard about it, he realized he had been pushing her away. He didn't mean too. He just was trying to find a balance for everything but it wasn't coming together. And Anna called all the shots and he had to admit he was afraid of her. But Lorelai had stood there and said she wanted to help. She had done such an amazing job with the birthday party, not that he was surprised. She was amazing at everything she did.

But then Anna got mad...and Luke made it clear once again that Lorelai had to stay away. He remembered telling her about his conversation with Anna...and now that he thought about it...the look on her face should have clued him in. She had looked crushed that he was so upset. And after that...they had bickered. And instead of working through it...he had left and said he was going home.

But wasn't her house supposed to be his home? He had overseen all the renovations and he was happy with the way they had turned out. So why was he spending so much damn time in his old apartment? They were engaged. The logical step was to move in together. And yet as usual...he had dragged his feet.

Luke groaned and pulled himself up on wobbly feet before he stumbled over to the bed and fell down on it. He was exhausted, he hadn't slept much since they broke up. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw Lorelai with Christopher. The first time it had happened he had physically gotten sick at the mental image.

But now it just made him sad. It made him angry too. Why had she gone to him? Yes...Luke knew she was desperate. He knew that she was hurting. But why not go to Sookie? Or Rory? Why run straight to the person he hated most. And then it hit him...she was hurt. And when she was hurt...she ran. And she had to find a way to make him feel her pain. And boy did he feel it now…

Luke pulled himself up on the bed and reached for the phone. He didn't know what he was doing but he had to hear her voice. It rang and rang and then the machine picked up, he sighed but listened to her voice and noticed she had not changed the message. When they were redoing the house she had insisted that she put his name on it because she said eventually people would call the house looking for him. He felt a twinge of regret and waited for the beep.

"Lorelai?" He said in a slurred voice, "Are you home?" No response, "I don't know what time it is...maybe you're at work. Maybe you're…" He grimaced when the image of Christopher popped up again and he sighed, "I...I need to see you. I need to talk to you...but I'm mad. I'm so mad at you. But I think I'm more mad at me…" He groaned and rolled to his side, "Lorelai...my Lorelai...I loved you. Did you know that? Probably not. I never said it. I'm sorry. No...I shouldn't have said loved. I love you...present tense. That's right? Right? Yes. I love you. But...I'm angry. And I'm sad...and I…" He took a deep breath, "I need to see you...can you come over? Please? Please Lorelai? Please come over…"

He heard the beep signaling the end of his message and he sighed and put the phone down again. He felt a pain in the pit of his stomach and he rolled out of bed and practically crawled to the bathroom. He collapsed in front of the toilet and started throwing up, he was so tired he fell onto the floor and didn't dare to try and move. Everything hurt...but mostly his heart.

* * *

At Lorelai's, she was sitting on the couch staring blankly at the message machine. She had heard every word he had said. She had heard the slurring, and the pain and her heart shattered more than it already was. He was hurting...and he was alone. She wanted to run to him, but he was mad and she knew he had every right to be mad.

She had done the ultimate betrayal. She had slept with someone else...and not just anyone. She had slept with Christopher Hayden...the one man that Luke hated most. She pulled herself up off the couch and replayed the message to make sure she hadn't imagined it all…

 _"Lorelai?" He said in a slurred voice, "Are you home?" No response, "I don't know what time it is...maybe you're at work. Maybe you're…" He grimaced when the image of Christopher popped up again and he sighed, "I...I need to see you. I need to talk to you...but I'm mad. I'm so mad at you. But I think I'm more mad at me…" He groaned and rolled to his side, "Lorelai...my Lorelai...I loved you. Did you know that? Probably not. I never said it. I'm sorry. No...I shouldn't have said loved. I love you...present tense. That's right? Right? Yes. I love you. But...I'm angry. And I'm sad...and I…" He took a deep breath, "I need to see you...can you come over? Please? Please Lorelai? Please come over…"_

She sighed when it was over and leaned against the table the machine rested on. She wiped at her own tears and tried to decide what to do. She wanted to see him. But she was also afraid...she knew he was angry. She didn't know if she could handle that level of anger at the moment. She was so fragile and she knew one blow to her heart would send her into the final tailspin of a complete break down.

But he sounded so desperate in his message. He said he needed to see her. He had begged her. And suddenly...she was transported to a time long ago during their first break up when she had done the same thing. In a moment of complete desperation, she had called him. She didn't even remember what she had said...but she knew whatever it was it was enough to scare him. Because he had come running. He had broken into her house to check on her despite the fact that they were broken up.

She swallowed hard and pushed caution to the wind. She had to see him. She had to know that he was going to be okay. Because the thought of him lying alone in his apartment drunk was enough to want to make her die right then and there. She grabbed her keys and ran out of the house without giving herself time to change her mind.

She pulled up in front of the Diner and was shocked to see how much damage there actually was. She had successfully avoided driving by. But now as she saw the boarded up windows she wondered if it was beyond repair. But in that moment she knew she was wondering if the Diner was beyond repair...she was wondering if they were.

She sighed, walked around the back and used her key to get into the Diner. She tiptoed up the stairs towards his apartment and was surprised to find the door open. She slipped into the dark room and noticed the empty beer bottles strewn all over the place. She glanced around looking for him but didn't see him anywhere.

But soon she heard a moan from the bathroom and her heart skipped a beat. She walked quickly and sighed when she found him on his side lying in front of the toilet. "Oh Luke…"

He didn't respond, only groaned again and she swallowed hard. She grabbed a towel from the rack, ran it under some water and knelt down behind him, "Luke? Can you hear me?"

It took him a moment but he rolled over and smiled sadly at her, "Lorelai?"

"Hey…" She whispered nervously, "Come on...we need to get you into bed." She pulled at his arm, "Can you stand up?"

"You came…" He whispered as he reached a hand out to touch her face, she flinched but he traced the edge of her jaw, "You came…" He repeated still in shock that she was there.

She bit her lip and tried to keep from crying, "Come on...I need you to help me a little. Stand up...we'll get you cleaned up and into bed."

Luke groaned as she pulled him up off the floor and he swayed back and forth. "Whoa…"

"Careful…" She whispered as she held him firm in front of her, "Let's uh...wash your face a little. Maybe brush your teeth? Might make you feel better…"

He frowned, "Nothing is going to make me feel better…"

She grimaced again and ignored his comment before she steered him towards the sink. She flushed the toilet, washed her hands and ran the cool towel over his sweaty face. He leaned against the sink and she felt him nodding off again.

"Come on Luke...just hang on for another minute." She put the towel down, grabbed his toothbrush and quickly ran it under the water and put toothpaste on it, "Open up…"

Luke chuckled, "This is weird…"

She rolled her eyes, "Luke...come on. Work with me here. If you pass out again I'm not sure I can lift you...so the sooner we get you in bed the better."

Luke sighed and then opened his mouth, "Fine…"

She couldn't help but smile as she ran the toothbrush over his teeth and tongue. He just stood there and let her do what she needed to do. She pulled the toothbrush out of his mouth and rinsed it in the sink. "Spit…"

Luke leaned forward and groaned as he felt his back crack, "Ow…"

She instinctively put a hand on his lower back and kneaded it but she felt him tense and she quickly pulled it away feeling the blush grow in her cheeks. She wasn't allowed to touch him like that anymore. He spit into the sink, splashed more cold water on his face and stood up slowly. He turned back to her, and bared his white teeth.

"Sparkling?" He said in a slurred voice.

She cracked a smile, "Sure. Come on…" She turned him towards the door and lead him out of the bathroom, "Do you uh...do you think you can change yourself?"

Luke looked down at his clothes and realized he was still in his jeans, "Um…"

She sighed and walked over to him, "Arms up…" She commanded.

Luke slowly lifted his arms and stared at her, he could tell she was uncomfortable, "You've seen me naked before you know...thought you weren't afraid of it anymore." He teased her.

She stopped what she was doing and stared at him for a moment, "Don't make this anymore awkward than it already is…"

He frowned as she pulled the flannel up over his head, the words slipped from his mouth before he really registered what he was saying. "Who's better in bed? Me or Christopher?"

Lorelai quickly stepped back and practically crashed into the wall, "Luke…"

"So...him?" He said with a sad smile and tried to pretend not to care, "Okay…"

She shook her head quickly, and stepped back towards him. She made to reach for his arm but pulled away at the last second."What? No. I didn't say that. You. Of course you but...but I-don't...don't ask me...I didn't…"

He smirked at her, "So...me?" She swallowed hard and nodded slowly feeling incredibly vulnerable and afraid, "Well at least I do one thing better than him…"

She stood awkwardly to the side as he pulled his clothes off until he was just in his boxers. She thought about running out the door now that she knew he was okay. But he crawled into bed and pulled the pillows up around him.

"I can't sleep…" Luke whispered, "I tried...but I can't. Can you uh...do that thing I like?"

She grimaced, "Luke please don't…"

He rolled his eyes and couldn't help but chuckle, "Not that one…" He pointed to his head, "The thing with my hair…" He stared at her for a moment and she swore she saw a pout, "Please? It helps me sleep…"

Her hands were trembling as she walked over to the bed. Her head was screaming at her to run far, far away but the desperation in his voice drew him too her. Just as it had done on the machine...she took a deep breath and toed off her shoes. She climbed in beside him and he settled his head against her lap as her fingers began to thread through his fine hair.

"I didn't know we broke up…" Luke whispered softly against her legs.

Her fingers stilled for a moment and she waited for him to speak again but when he didn't she pressed him to go on, "What?"

"The first time." He said as he snuggled further into her, "You called me...I went over. Broke in cuz you finally locked the damn door." He chuckled, "But you weren't there...and I was running all over the place looking for you. You showed up...and you started apologizing. And you called me your ex-boyfriend. But...I didn't know we broke up."

She frowned down at him as she thought back to that night, "But...you broke up with me...how did you not know?"

He shook his head and looked up at her, "What at Doose's? No I didn't…"

She pushed him back slowly and stared down at him in disbelief, "You said you couldn't be with me anymore…"

He shook his head again and stared up at her, "You asked what I was thinking in that moment so I told you. But it wasn't what I wanted...I didn't think it meant it was over."

She stared at him in shock, "I...Luke…"

He smirked, "Should have known then I had to work on the whole communication thing." He sighed, and then settled back into her lap, he lifted her hand when she didn't make a move and place it on his head.

It took her a moment but she began to stroke his hair again, "Luke…"

"I probably should have corrected you...but I was stubborn and angry. But mostly I was sad...and so I stayed away thinking it would work out eventually. Cuz you know...I always just wait for things to happen on their own. I don't act." He huffed, "Not like you...you jump. You wanted to jump the other night...you were ready."

She sighed and rested her head against the backboard, "Luke come on...you need sleep. Just...just go to sleep."

He shook his head and held held her legs tighter, "I don't want to go to sleep...I want to talk. Because I never talk to you like I should…"

She felt the tears burning in her eyes and she tried to keep her voice steady, "Luke...please...I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry...but I can't…"

"I should have told you. I should have let you know how much I loved you. But I didn't…" He pulled her even closer afraid she was going to bolt, "I don't know why I didn't...I just thought you knew." He laughed sadly, "Everyone knew...but I should have said it more. I should have made sure you knew…"

She couldn't hold the tears in anymore and she pulled her hand away from his head but he put it back quickly, "Luke…"

"But I've been pushing you away...right? I've been distant. I'm sorry...April just…" He sighed again and let his eyes flutter open, "This whole thing threw me for a loop…"

"I know Luke...but I wanted to help you." She said softly, "I tried…"

"Yeah…" He whispered, "You did. But I wouldn't listen...cuz I'm stupid." He said angrily.

She gave him a squeeze, "You are not stupid Luke. You are a wonderful man...and I hate myself for doing what I did."

He swallowed hard, he waited a moment before whispering to her, "Do you love him?"

"No." She said quickly, "God no...of course not. Luke it wasn't...I didn't…" She put a hand on his back and resisted the urge to pull him closer.

"Do you love me?" He asked in an even softer voice, at first she wasn't sure he had even said it.

She whimpered softly as he heart thumped in her chest, "More than anything…"

He nodded slowly and finally let his eyes close, "I love you too…I think that's what makes this so hard. We really loved each other...and it still didn't work."

Lorelai felt him relax against her and heard his breathing begin to even out. She wanted to crawl away from him and leave. But she couldn't...she needed him just as much as he needed her. She let herself slip further down the bed and he snuggled into her. She sighed, kissed the top of his head and let her own eyes close.

* * *

Just before the sun came up, Lorelai woke up tangled up with Luke. It took her a moment to remember where she was. But she finally took a deep breath, looked down at the still sleeping Luke and grimaced. She had to get out of here...last night he had been drunk. He had let her in. But she was sure that when he woke up the alcohol would be long gone and the anger would return. And as selfish as it was, she couldn't bare to be here for that.

She slowly pulled herself away from his embrace. He rolled over and started to snore, she knew that it would take a herd of elephants to wake him at the moment. She looked around the apartment and noticed the clutter of bottles lying around. As quietly as she could, she picked them all up and put them in a trash bag. She threw his clothes in the hamper, cleaned up the bathroom and then peeked back at him.

He was still fast asleep. She sighed, walked into the kitchen and filled up a large glass of water. She grabbed a bottle of aspirin and a banana, something he always ate when he was hungover. She walked back to the bed, placed the three items on the table beside him where he would see it first. She sat down beside him for a moment and stared at the man she had given her whole heart too.

She felt her heart ache, and the tears burning in her eyes. She leaned forward slowly, placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and tried to deny the fact that it would probably be the last kiss she ever gave him. She quickly pulled herself away from the bed and dashed out of the Diner hoping that no one was around to see her make her walk of shame back home.

She walked into the house, let Paul Anka out and fed him. She practically had to crawl up the stairs to the bedroom and it took every ounce of strength she had to start the shower. But she had to wash away the smell of him. It hurt too much. As she climbed into the tub, her hands started shaking and she slid to the bottom of the cool porcelain. And she let herself cry…

* * *

A few hours later, Luke rolled over in bed and felt the banging in his head. He groaned and put a hand over his tired face. He blinked a few times before he finally turned to his side and saw the glass of water, aspirin and a banana. He frowned, trying to remember if he had laid them out himself. By the state of his current hangover, he was pretty sure he hadn't done much of anything last night.

And then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Her scent. It filled his senses and he sat up quickly ignoring the pounding in his head. He had washed his sheets after they broke up in an attempt to rid her of the apartment. But now the scent was stronger than ever. He turned to the opposite side of the bed but she wasn't there. And then he remembered...he had called her. And she had come to him...she had been here. He had let her see his pain and his vulnerability. And she had sat here with him, she had soothed him to sleep. When he looked around the apartment, he knew that she had clearly cleaned up as well.

He sighed, threw his feet over the edge of the bed and reached for the water. He took a large gulp and popped two of the pills to help dull the ache in his head. He sat for a moment wondering what he should do. And then...he realized there was only one thing he could do. He pulled himself off the bed, walked to the bathroom and quickly turned on the shower.

* * *

An hour later, Lorelai was on her way out the front door deciding a little retail therapy would make her feel better. And if it didn't...at least it would be a distraction. She had just shut the door behind her when she heard his voice.

"Hey…" He whispered softly.

She stopped moving and put a hand on the front door to brace herself, she had not been expecting this. She was sure he would remember a thing from the night before. And she was even more sure that he would never speak to her again even if he did.

She turned slowly and stared at him with a look of fear and regret, "Um...hi."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at her for a moment, "Um...thanks for putting out the water and aspirin. Couldn't stomach the banana today though…"

She bit her lip, "No problem...how do you feel?"

He laughed sadly and looked down at his shoes, "Been better…"

She nodded and pushed a curl behind her ear, "We've all been there Luke…"

He didn't speak and she felt the nerves building in her lower stomach. She felt the tears burning in her eyes and she had to get away from him. She took a deep breath, stood up straighter and tried to smile, "I um...I have some errands I have to run. So...if there was something specific you wanted…"

He ignored her comment and stepped into her, "Why did you come over last night?"

She flinched and stepped back until her back hit the door trying to get as much space between them as possible, "Because you called me…"

He nodded slowly, "You could have ignored it…"

She sighed and shook her head, "No...I couldn't. I had to know that you were going to be okay…"

He shook his head before whispering, "I'm not okay…"

She looked down and let her bag fall to the porch beside her, "Neither am I."

"Lorelai…" He whispered as he stepped all the way up to her.

She shook her head, lifted her hands and pushed back on his chest, "You need to go home Luke. Go home…"

"This is my home…" He said pointing to the house, "It was supposed to be my home…"

She laughed to herself and sent a death stare his way, "Yeah well you weren't in any hurry to move in, were you?"

He frowned, "I should have…"

She sighed again and leaned down to pick up her bag, "It doesn't really matter now Luke. I have to go…"

She tried unsuccessfully to walk past him but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back, "Don't just walk away again. Please…"

She sighed and stumbled as she tried to turn back to him, "Luke don't...don't do this okay? I came over last night because you needed help. I was happy to do it. I'm glad you're okay...but let's just leave it be. Let's just move on, okay? You'll be so much better off without me."

He pulled at her arm again making her eyes snap up towards his, "No I won't. I won't be better off without you. How am I supposed to just move on Lorelai? Tell me how and I will but I can't figure out how that would ever be a possibility."

She was fully crying now as she shook her head, "Please Luke...please...just let me go."

"No." He said more forcefully as he pulled her flush up against him, "No."

"Luke I can't do this…" She said as he held her against him, cursing his stubbornness, "I can't…"

"Damn it Lorelai…" He said as his own eyes welled up with tears, "Why didn't you shake me or something? Why didn't you stand in front of me and scream at me and tell me I was going to lose you? You know I'm slow with this kind of stuff. I need a push sometimes…why didn't you push me!"

"Because when I tried you pulled away more." She said sadly, "And I was trying so hard to hold us together I figured one push…" She shrugged and offered a gentle smile, "and you'd be out the door."

"But you walked away." He said stubbornly pointing at her, "You were the one that walked away from me…"

"Because I couldn't hold on anymore…" She whispered in a pained voice, "I couldn't hold on for the both of us. And I snapped and I…"

Her voice trailed off and he frowned as he stepped away from her, "You were hurt so you wanted to hurt me…"

She closed her eyes tightly, he knew her to damn well, "I didn't mean too...it just happened. I was so confused...and my brain was all jumbled. You didn't come after me and so I thought it was over."

"I didn't know it was over." He said putting a hand on his chest, "I thought you just need some time…"

She sighed and her eyes glared back at him, "I didn't want more time Luke! I wanted action! I wanted you to fight for me! I was tired of fighting for us alone."

He stepped back, surprised by her outburst, "Lorelai…"

She jutted her hip out and crossed her arms over her chest, "Look I know what I did is the ultimate betrayal. And believe me even though you hate me...you couldn't possibly hate me more than I hate myself. I never ever wanted to hurt you like this...and seeing you last night broke my heart. It broke it more than it already was which I didn't think was possible. But now there's just this hole there...this giant space of nothing. And I feel like I can't breath...and I'm trying really hard to pull it together. But I'm not sure I can. And I definitely can't if we keep seeing each other like this. So...the only way to deal with this is to just...just cut all ties." She said all this without looking at him because she knew she would lose her nerve if she did.

Luke was stunned by her words, his mouth was hanging open as he tried to think of something to say, "What do you mean cut all ties? Never see each other again?"

She chanced a glance at him and she had to look away quickly when she saw the pain in his deep blue eyes, "It's the only way Luke…" She pulled at her blouse and stared at her shoes, "I'll have someone drop off your things...and we'll figure out the rest somehow. But from now on...it will be better if we just pretend that the other doesn't exist. It's the only way to move on from this…"

"So that's it?" Luke asked with a laugh, "You're just going to pretend you don't know me? Pretend that the last couple of years meant nothing? Hell that the last ten years meant nothing? Is that what you really want? You want to pretend I don't exist? You want me to pack up and move out of Stars Hollow and never see you again?"

She put a hand over her heart and stared longingly at him, "Luke you know it's not...but it has to be this way."

He sighed and walked closer to her, he tried to reach for her, "No it doesn't…"

"Yes it does!" She yelled angrily as she turned and shoved him away from her, afraid that if he touched her she'd given in, "Yes it does because I can't look at you without wanting to break down. And I can't think about you without wanting to crawl into bed and never get up. I can't remember because it will kill me Luke. It will kill me...it is killing me. Please...I'm begging you."

"Lorelai…" He whispered softly, he hated to hear the rawness in her voice and it took all his strength to not pull her to him, "Don't…"

"I'm begging you to just walk away...move on with your life Luke. Find someone who will make you happy. Find someone who isn't me…" She said with a laugh as her hands nervously flailed around her, "Because you deserve so much more than me...and God I hope you find it. And when you do…" She swallowed hard and looked up at him, "Let her know how damn lucky she is to have you…"

"Lorelai…" He whispered again as she started to walk away, "Please don't go…"

"I have to go Luke…" She said as her shoulders shook and she stumbled down the porch steps, "I have to go…"

Luke stood for a moment glued to his spot but he quickly realized he once again was letting her walk away. He flung himself off the porch not even bothering with the steps. She jumped when he slammed the door to the jeep in front of her.

"Luke please…" She whispered, "Please don't do this...just let me go."

"Lorelai…" Luke said as he leaned down and tried to find her eyes, but she was doing her best to hide from him, "Damn it Lorelai! Look at me!"

She jumped at the anger in his voice and slowly turned to look at him, "Luke I-"

"I can't move on…" He whispered, "I can't move on because you are burned in here…" He said pointing to his head, "You have been for years and you will never leave...you said you'd go away that day I met you but you lied."

She grimaced and turned from him again, "Luke don't…"

He grasped her face gently and turned it to force her to look at him again, "You said you'd go away...but you stayed. And I am so glad you did…"

"Don't…" She pleaded again, "Please Luke...I'm begging you to just leave me alone. I can't do this...I can't face you right now."

"Well that's too damn bad." Luke said with a tensed jaw, "Because we are going to do this now. Right now. We are going to talk about this and deal with it like adults."

She bit her lip as she stared at him, "Luke...we can't fix this. I cheated on you...I went to him...I'm an idiot. I didn't mean to do it but I did and now I have to live with it. So just go back to the Diner. Go away…"

She turned back to get in the car but he grabbed her keys out of her hands, "You're not going anywhere."

"Hey!" She yelled as she tried unsuccessfully to reach for her keys which he held above his head, "Luke stop it! You're acting like a child! Give me my damn keys back!"

"Where are you going to go?" He asked as he twisted his body away from her to keep her further from the keys.

She struggled for a few seconds to reach them and then sighed, "What?"

"Where are you going?" He asked as he stared down at her, "Where are you going to go Lorelai?"

She stared at him for a moment and then realized he wasn't asking where she was going this second, but rather where she was going to go to avoid him forever. "Stop it."

"You like to run." He said stubbornly, "You run when things are hard and yeah...maybe I do too in my own way. But guess what...I'm not running." He said angrily, "I'm not running Lorelai. I'm gonna face this."

She turned away from him and stubbornly started walking away towards the street, "If you won't leave I will."

He growled and quickly walked behind her, "I can walk just like you can Lorelai...and if you run we both know I can outrun you."

She angrily swung around making him slam against her chest, she shoved him back and glared at him, "Well then why the hell didn't you run after me the other night Luke? Where was this passion when I needed it? You made me feel like a total fool! I was standing there begging you to marry me...begging you to want me…"

He swallowed hard and stepped back slightly, "Lorelai...I didn't-"

"Why didn't you want me? What did I do wrong? God Luke...I've been going to crazy trying to figure out what I did. I was trying so hard to do things your way. And the party went well and I thought you were finally letting me in. And then Anna got mad and you got mad...and we fought. And I panicked." She said as she put a hand over her heart as she tried to calm herself, "I had Patty lie and say I wasn't home because I was so sad I couldn't face you."

"You were home that day?" He asked as he stared at her confused by her words, "What-"

"God no! It doesn't even matter!" She said with a laugh as she turned and stared to walk away again, "It's over Luke. It's been over for awhile now but I cemented the truth when I let Chris-"

He grabbed her arm and spun her around, "Just stop for a second. Stop running."

"No." She said stubbornly and she flung around and walked away, "Go home Luke!"

He let out a frustrated breath and then cut her off again making her stumble back, "For once in your life would you stop being so damn stubborn!"

She glared at him, "What do I need to do to get you to leave me alone? Want me to put a banner in town that says it's over? Want me to send you a candygram?"

"It's not over." He said angrily as he gripped her arms in his, "And you know want to know why I know that?"

She stuck her chin out definitely, "How? Please...enlighten me Luke."

"Because you came to me last night." He whispered softly to her as he let his grip loosen, "You came to me when I needed you the most…"

She felt the anger subside and the pain fall in line again, she shook her head and tried to pull away, "Luke stop…"

"You showed up. You took care of me...you helped me sleep. You woke up...cleaned my apartment and left me everything I would need to recover today." He said searching her face, trying to force her to look him in the eyes.

She felt her knees give out a little and as she stumbled he held her up again, "Luke come on…"

"And because you told me you loved me." Her head shot up and he smiled at her, "And I told you Iove you too. And not loved...but love. Present tense lorelai. Right now. I love you. And you love me."

Her head hung between them and he felt her body shaking, "I can't look at you...I can't look at you Luke."

He sighed and turned her body back towards the house, "Come on…"

She didn't fight him as he lead her towards the steps on the porch. She waited until she had sat down, and then he took the seat beside her. They say quietly for a few moments, the only sound he heard was her soft crying.

He sighed and turned to look at her slowly, "Look...I don't know what the hell we're supposed to do here. But I'm not walking away...alright?"

She glanced at him quickly and then looked back out at the lawn, "You should."

He lowered his head and took his cap off, he tossed it to the side and ran a hand through his thin hair, "I can't…"

She swallowed hard, "Luke...I do love you." He lifted his head to look at her hopefully but she shook her head, "But I love you enough to tell you to walk away...you'll be better off without me."

He bared his teeth and scooted closer to her, "Jesus...would you stop saying that? You sound ridiculous."

She flinched at the harshness in his voice, "Luke I chea-"

"I know what you did." He said as he closed his eyes tightly, "Trust me...I keep seeing it in my head. Makes me sick…"

She swallowed hard, "I'm giving you permission to walk away here Luke. Guilt free...just go. Walk away."

He slammed his hand on the porch and stood up in front of her, "Stop it! Stop saying that!" She opened her mouth to respond but he but he put his hand up, "You wanted me to fight Lorelai. So here I am! I'm fighting. And just so you remember...I am just as stubborn as you. You want me to stand here all damn night until you give in? Try me Lorelai. Try me. I'm not walking away. You came over last night because you love me. Just like I did that night when you called me...but I was stupid back then and walked away. Maybe I learned my fucking lesson for once!"

She took a deep breath, "You told me last night you didn't know we broke up that night…"

He smiled and stepped towards her, "No. I didn't...I mean looking back on it I understand why you thought that." He sighed and sat down again, "But Lorelai...I don't want to be out. I don't want to be your ex anything…"

She bit her lip nervously and then slid over beside him, she slipped her arm under his and took his hand. They sat quietly and he was staring at their joined hands trying to understand what it meant. She waited a few moments to formulate the words in her head before she cleared her throat and started to speak.

"It's not over…" She whispered softly more to herself than to him.

He shook his head and glanced up at her face, "No. It's not…"

She let out a puff of air, "It should be…"

He shrugged, "Maybe…" He looked down at their hands, "Or maybe this was the push we needed to stop being so damn stubborn. To stop hiding...and fight for what we want."

She tried to pull her hand away again as she spoke, "How can you even look at me right now?"

He grimaced and pulled her hand back, "It hurts...trust me it does...more than anything. But…" He sighed and looked back up at her, "What hurts more is thinking about never being with you again...about letting you go."

She bit her lip nervously and then scooted even closer to rest her head on his shoulder, "What do we do now?"

He sighed, let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her, "I don't know…"

She closed her eyes and leaned further into him, "But...you still don't want to leave?"

He took a deep breath and shook his head, "Nope."

She sighed sadly and looked out at the space in front of him, "What a fine mess we have got ourselves into Mr. Danes…"

Luke smiled sadly, "Lorelai...it's going to take time. I know you don't like time…"

She sighed and pulled away from him, "No. I don't...but I understand."

He nodded slowly and took her hand, he rubbed the space where her engagement ring used to be, "I'm gonna marry you...when we're ready."

She felt the tears burning in her eyes again, "Luke...oh God Luke...I never…"

He nodded slowly and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, "I know you didn't. And I didn't either…" He sighed and rested his forehead against hers, "But...we're going to figure this out. In time...but I'm not walking away again. Are you?"

She glanced up at his face as she pulled away and she lifted a hand to trace the lines on his face, "You're still in?"

He nodded slowly and leaned into her hand, "I'm still in…"

She breathed a sigh of relief and nodded slowly, "That's all I needed to know Luke...that you were still in."

He frowned, "I'm sorry I made you ever doubt that…" He paused and then whispered, "Are you still in? Are you going to walk away?"

She shook her head, scooted closer and leaned her head back down on his shoulder. "If you're in...I'm in Luke. I'm staying right here…"

He turned his head to rest it against the top of hers and let out a nervous breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He gave her arm a squeeze and let the moment pass between them. He knew they had a long way to go if they were ever going to fix this. And it wasn't going to be easy...and they were going to have to fight. Really fight…

And for the first time in their life...neither one of them were scared. Because they weren't ready to let go. It wasn't over...they would never be over.

* * *

 **So there is the latest installment of that. I will try and update soon. Almost done with the next chapter of "Searchlight" so I will update that soon as well. :)**


	13. Kiss

**Okay so...I know I just updated this last night BUT...I was at the gym and one of my favorite Prince songs came on and inspired me. What a terrible loss for the music world. Prince was a legend and his music will live on. This takes place about a month after Lorelai and Luke get together. Just a cute one-shot about their time together and how they are getting along as a new couple. It's much shorter than a lot of the other one-shots but that's kind of how I meant it to be. Short and sweet. Hope you enjoy.**

Prince: "Kiss"

 _You don't have to be beautiful_  
 _To turn me on_  
 _I just need your body baby_  
 _From dusk till dawn_  
 _You don't need experience_  
 _To turn me out_  
 _You just leave it all up to me_  
 _I'm gonna show you what it's all about_

 _You don't have to be rich_  
 _To be my girl_  
 _You don't have to be cool_  
 _To rule my world_  
 _Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with_  
 _I just want your extra time and your_

 _Kiss,_  
 _Oh oh_

 _You got to not talk dirty, baby_  
 _If you want to impress me_  
 _You can't be to flirty, mama_  
 _I know how to undress me, yeah_  
 _I want to be your fantasy_  
 _Maybe you could be mine_  
 _You just leave it all up to me_  
 _We could have a good time_

 _Don't have to be rich_  
 _To be my girl_  
 _Don't have to be cool_  
 _To rule my world_  
 _Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with_  
 _I just want your extra time and your_

 _Kiss_  
 _Yes, oh oh oh_

 _Ah_  
 _I think I want to dance, uhh, ooohh_  
 _Gotta, gotta, oh_  
 _Little girl Wendy's parade_  
 _Gotta, gotta, gotta_

 _Women not girls rule my world_  
 _I said they rule my world_  
 _Act your age, mama (not your shoe size)_  
 _Not your shoe size_  
 _Maybe we could do the twirl_  
 _You don't have to watch Dynasty_  
 _To have an attitude_  
 _You just leave it all up to me_  
 _My love will be your food_  
 _Yeah_

 _You don't have to be rich_  
 _To be my girl_  
 _You don't have to be cool_  
 _To rule my world_  
 _Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with_  
 _I just want your extra time and your_

 _Kiss_

* * *

Lorelai Gilmore was standing behind the desk of the Inn staring off into space. She had a huge smile plastered on her face and there was no use trying to hide it. She sighed happily as she ticked down the minutes until her shift was over. Sookie rounded the corner and smirked when she saw the happy look on Lorelai's face.

"Well...well...well…" Sookie said as she leaned against the front desk, "Someone looks deliriously happy...what could you possibly be thinking about?"

Lorelai sighed and turned towards her best friend, "My incredibly handsome boyfriend…"

Sookie giggled, "You are in so deep Lorelai Gilmore…"

Lorelai pouted softly, "I know Sook. It's crazy...we've only really been dating for a month and I just can't stop...I can't stop thinking about him. I want to spend every second with him. And even that's not enough. What is wrong with me?"

Sookie shook her head and reached out to give her hand a squeeze, "There's nothing wrong with you sweetie...you're just happy. Really happy...in fact I've never seen you this happy before. It's nice…"

Lorelai stood up slowly and straightened out her dress, "It is nice...but it's also a bit scary. I've never felt like this before...I've been smitten sure...but…" She groaned and shook her head, "But this is so much more than that…"

"I know." Sookie said with a smile, "You and Luke have known each other for a long time...you've also been dancing around each other forever. So naturally it's going to be intense...there's a lot of pent up sexual tension."

"Oh God Sookie the sex…" She said putting a hand over her stomach as she felt the butterflies growing, "Sookie...I have never…" Her cheeks blushed, "He is something else...I thought he'd be good but...damn he's amazing."

Sooie squealed and clapped her hands, "So now we know he can do more than cook delicious burgers!"

Lorelai smirked, "He can do so much more Sook...no man has ever made me feel the way he does. I keep thinking it can't get any better and then it does." She paused and put a hand over her heart, "And the thing is...it's so much more than sex. I mean don't get me wrong he is so talented...but he's also so…" She let a small smile spread over her face, "He's so sweet...and gentle when I need him to be. He puts me first...he takes his time...he lets me know how important I am…" She sighed happily and leaned against the desk again, "Sook I'm falling so hard for this man…"

Sookie smiled and leaned against the desk, "That's okay Lorelai...let it happen."

Lorelai nodded slowly and bit her lip nervously, "But what if...what if I screw it all up like I always do? I don't know if I could stand that pain Sookie...and that terrifies me. I need him in my life…"

Sookie gave her hand a squeeze, "No one can predict the future Lorelai...but do you want to spend another 8 years pretending that you don't have feelings for the man? Do you want to go backwards instead of forwards?"

Lorelai shook her head quickly, "God no."

Sookie smiled and patted her hand softly, "Well good...then just let it happen Lorelai. I have a feeling that this time around...things are different."

Lorelai squeezed her hand back, "I really hope so…"

Sookie smiled and looked at the clock, "I won't tell Michel that you skipped out a few minutes early. Get out of here and go see your man…"

Lorelai's face lit up, "Yeah?"

Sookie nodded, "Yes. Go...get a burger. And…" She wiggled her eyebrows, "Maybe a little more…"

Lorelai laughed, grabbed her bag and coat and gave Sookie a small wave. She practically skipped out to the jeep as she drove directly to the Diner, she had no intention of going home. She pulled up near his truck in the alley and hopped out before she walked quickly to the door and practically floated through the door.

"Hey handsome!" She called as she walked to the counter and sat down.

Luke's face blushed as a few people snickered around him, but he offered her a small smile, "Hey...you're out early."

Lorelai smiled and leaned against the counter, "Well it helps when you own the place. I get to make the rules…" He put a plate of french fries in front of her, "Plus Sookie told me to skip out early and come see you…"

He smirked, "She did, huh?" He poured her a cup of coffee and slid it over to her and then he finally noticed just how happy she looked, "Someone's in a good mood…"

She sighed happily and sat back slightly, "Yep." She grabbed the plate and the cup and winked at him, "Mind if I take these upstairs?"

He shook his head and watched her round the counter, "No...you want something else? I should be done here in a bit. I can bring it up…"

She shook her head, "No thanks. I just need you…" She winked again, blew him a kiss and practically danced up the steps.

Luke stood at the counter trying to figure out what had her practically floating around his Diner. He thought back to that morning before they both left for work, and he couldn't help but smirk at the memory of what they had done. She had woken up early and snuggled into his chest, her usual signal that she wasn't ready for him to leave for work yet.

He had smiled, pulled her close and rolled her on top of him for a fiery kiss. It had been one month since their first date, but he was still amazed that she was allowing him to touch her after all these years of wanting her. He had dreamed about what it would be like...fantasized and obsessed about how she would feel pressed against him. But it felt so much better than he could have dreamed.

But it was more than that. It was more than just a physical need. He needed her in every way possible. And as scary as that was...he knew that this was supposed to happen. He couldn't deny his feelings for her anymore. And now that he had her...he wasn't about to just let her go. He snapped out of his daze and decided to work at double speed to make sure he got up to her sooner rather than later.

* * *

Upstairs, Lorelai had stripped down to her underwear and slipped on her favorite blue flannel. Since their first date, it had become common knowledge to him that she had claimed it. Yes he wore it sometimes and it sent butterflies to her core when he did. But when she was here...like this with him. It was all hers.

She breathed in the familiar scent of him and smiled to herself as she looked around the apartment. She took a sip of her coffee, bit into a fry and then walked over to the CD player. She flipped through some of the cases for a few moments and then smiled when she saw one she had slipped into his collection. She put it in the player, pressed play and began to dance around the apartment as she cleaned up for him.

He had been in quite a hurry this morning after their morning love making. She knew he hated clutter so she figured since she had distracted him...it was only fair that she clean up for him. She let her body move to the music and her lips mouthed the words. She smiled to herself and wondered how much longer it would be before Luke was up here with her.

Downstairs, Luke finished the last few orders, talked to Caesar about the following day and the deliveries. He washed his hands, said his goodbyes and started to walk up the stairs to the apartment. He could hear the music pumping through the speakers and he smiled to himself. He could hear the familiar sounds of Prince's "Kiss", and he smirked to himself. But when he opened the apartment door, his breath caught in his throat at the sight before him.

She was facing her back to him, at the sink as she dried some dishes. Her hips were swaying as she belted out the words to one of her favorite songs. He closed the door, leaned against it and continued to enjoy the show before him.

After a few more seconds she spun around with her hands in the air and her eyes were closed as she continued to sing pretending to hold a microphone. Luke put a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing, he knew it was only a matter of time before she realized he was there. And he wanted to enjoy this for as long as possible.

Suddenly her eyes popped open and she stumbled back, Luke smirked at her and he could see the blush growing in her cheeks. He waited for her to say something, as if challenging her. And suddenly the embarrassment was gone and she seemed to be bold again. She started to sway her hips to the beat again as she made her way over to him and started singing out loud.

 _"You got to not talk dirty, baby. If you want to impress me"_ She sauntered towards him and his heart rate sped up, but he he stood still and decided to enjoy the show, " _You can't be too flirty, mama. I know how to undress me, yeah…"_ She wiggled her eyebrows at him and started to unbutton his flannel that she was wearing, she watched him swallow hard. " _I want to be your fantasy. Maybe you could be mine…"_ She leaned in and nipped at his earlobe playfully, he groaned, _"You just leave it all up to me. We could have a good time."_ She pulled him away from the door and continued to sway back and forth as she dragged him further into the room.

"Lorelai…" He said with a smirk as he watched her dance.

She shook her head at him and kept singing and dancing, " _Don't have to be rich, To be my guy…"_ She sang guy instead of girl and he smirked, " _Don't have to be cool, To rule my world. Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with I just want your extra time and your…"_ She leaned in and puckered her lips, " _Kiss…"_

He smirked and met her halfway in a sweet kiss, "Lorelai…"

She pulled away and danced around him, "Yes?"

He chuckled and turned to try and look at her but she was to fast and was already moving around him again, "Lorelai…"

She hummed along with the words as she pushed his flannel off her shoulders and let it pool at her feet, "What is it handsome?"

He growled and spun quickly to grab her hips, "You make me crazy…"

She giggled and continued to sway back and forth, "Crazy good? Or crazy bad?"

He squinted and leaned in further to kiss her lips, "Crazy good...definitely crazy good…"

She smiled up at him and started to sing again, _"Don't have to be rich, to be my guy. Don't have to be cool to rule my world. Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with! I just want your extra time and your…"_ She smirked at him and leaned up on her toes, "Kiss…" She whispered as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer.

"You can have whatever you want Lorelai…" He said as his hands ran down her sides, "You're adorable by the way…"

The blush crept in her cheeks again and she shrugged, "Like my half naked dancing, did ya?"

He nodded slowly, "Yes ma'am."

She smiled, nuzzled his nose and pulled away a little, "Glad you enjoyed the show. I usually charge my customers...but you're cuter than my normal customers. So I'll let you have this one for free." She said with a wink as she turned away from him and picked up his flannel before slipping it over her shoulders, but she didn't bother to button it.

Luke watched her walk to the fridge and get a beer for each of them, "These shows...how often do you perform them?" He teased as he popped the top off of her beer and handed it back to her, then did his own, "Should I be concerned?"

She sighed and sat down at the kitchen table, "Nah...I've decided to give up that life. It was getting too demanding...I like my free time."

Luke smiled, leaned down to kiss her lips gently and then walked over to the CD player to turn it down a little, "Good to know…"

He walked back to the kitchen, leaned against the counter and watched her. She was sitting in her chair with a large smile plastered on her face as she hummed to the next song on the TV. She wasn't looking at him, just staring off across his apartment and she was tapping her foot to the beat.

He leaned against the counter and lifted his beer to hips lips as he watched her in awe, "Is there a particular reason you are in such a good mood?"

She turned at the sound of his voice and offered him a sweet smile, "No. Just happy."

Luke took another swig and then nodded, "Happy about….what?"

She let out a content sigh and pushed herself off the chair leaving her beer on the table, she walked to him and put her arms around his shoulders, "About...this."

He stared at her for a moment and put his beer down on the counter beside him. He let his hands rest on her hips as he pulled her close, "What do you mean this?"

She bit her lip nervously and began to play with the curls at the base of his neck under his cap, "This as in...us. You and me…"

Luke smiled as he pulled her a little closer, "Oh yeah?"

She nodded slowly and then let her eyes meet his, "Really happy…"

He lifted his hand and pressed it against her cheek, she closed her eyes at the sensation and leaned further into him, "Lorelai…"

She took a deep breath and let her eyes flutter open a little, "Sookie said I just have to let it happen…"

He cocked his head to the side and stared at her, trying to catch up to her thoughts, "What do you mean let it happen?"

She sighed and lowered her hands to his chest, she played with the buttons on his flannel, "She said I have to not be afraid...and just let this happen."

He was quiet for a moment before he lifted her face to look at him again, "Lorelai...why are you afraid? I don't want you to be afraid of me…"

She shook her head and her heart ached when she saw the pain on his face, "No. I'm not afraid of you...I'm…" She swallowed hard and then couldn't help but laugh, "I'm afraid of myself Luke...of the million and one ways that I can screw this up."

He frowned and pulled her closer still, "Lorelai…"

She looked up at him and tried to fight back the tears, "I'm not good at relationships Luke. I'm afraid to let people in...because I think if they see the real me then they'll change their mind. Walk away just as I get attached…"

Luke shook his head, "Lorelai I've known you for eight years...I know you. I know the real you...and I happen to think you are the most amazing woman in the world."

She smiled sadly, "Then I think you are crazy…"

"Maybe." He said with a shrug as he leaned towards her, "Or maybe I'm just crazy about you…"

She licked her lips and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his lips, "Why would you want a girl like me Luke? Huh? I mean...I'm a total mess."

He shook his head, "I disagree with that. I think you're the total package."

She laughed a little, "How do you figure that?"

He cupped her cheek again, "Lorelai...you're tough. You're stronger than most people I know. You fight for the things you want...you have passion. And not just in a romantic sense...you have passion for life and all the things you love. You've worked so damn hard to build the life you have and I am so proud of all you have accomplished. I mean look at you Lorelai...you're an amazing mother. Rory adores you...and she's a great kid. And you built a business from the ground up with very little help…"

She shook her head, "I have a thirty thousand dollar check that says otherwise…"

He rolled his eyes and continued, "That's just money Lorelai. You did the rest all by yourself." He leaned forward to kiss her forehead, "You make me laugh...you make me come out of my shell and actually enjoy life. You are smart and compassionate...you would do anything for the people you love. And you…" He swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath, "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen...you take my breath away."

She inhaled sharply and tried to step back but he held her close, "Luke…"

"I mean...sometimes…" He laughed, "Sometimes I look at you and think how the hell did I get so lucky?" he sighed and ran a hand through her curls, "For years I dreamed about you...fantasized about having you in my arms. And here you are...dressed in my shirt after doing the most adorable dance I could have ever witnessed and you're here with me…"

She blushed, put her hands over his arms as he held her face and leaned into him, "Luke…"

"You've got me under your spell Lorelai Gilmore…" She lifted her head to look at him again and he smiled, "I told you I'm in...I'm all in."

She bit her lip and shifted her weight to her other foot, "You make me so happy Luke Danes…" She leaned forward and hugged him close, "So damn happy...and it's only been a month."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her back and tangled one hand in her hair, "Well hopefully I can continue to make you happy...that's all I want to do."

She snuggled into him and smiled as she pulled away just enough to kiss him gently, "Hey Luke?"

"Yes?" He asked as he ran a finger across her cheek, "What can I do for you?"

Her eyelashes fluttered open for a moment and her smile grew, "Take me to bed...make me really happy."

Luke felt his heart thumping in his chest as he reached out to grip her hips, "As you wish…"

She giggled as he started to lead her backwards towards the bed, "I see you've been watching my favorite movie without me?"

He chuckled, "It was on during my lunch break today...caught a little bit of it."

She smiled and leaned up to kiss him, "Luke…"

He bent his knees slightly and lifted her up, she gasped and wrapped her legs around his waist, "You're so sexy…"

She smirked against his ear as he walked them back to the bed, "You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on…" She sang.

He laughed as he lay her down on the bed, "Lorelai…"

She pulled the buttons open and ran her hands down her smooth skin, "I just need your body baby...from dusk till dawn."

He growled and lowered his lips to the smooth skin of her stomach, "You don't need experience...to turn me out." He mumbled against her navel.

She smiled and sang on, "You just leave it all up to me...I'm gonna show you what it's all about…" She said lifting his head to look at her.

He smirked, leaned over her and whispered, "You don't have to be rich to be my girl…"

"You don't have to be cool...to rule my world." She teased as she slid her hands under his shirt.

"Ain't no particular sign I'm compatible with!" He said in a high voice that made her laugh as he leaned into her, "I just want your extra time and your…"

"Kiss." She whispered before she captured his lips with her own.

After that, there was no more talking. Only kissing and touching and there was no turning back. Luke pinned her arms above her head and devoured her body and soul and she let herself finally feel happy without fear.

* * *

Later that night, she was lying at the foot of the bed wrapped in his flannel again. She had her feet up in the air as she lay on her stomach and ate grapes from the bowl in front of her. Luke sat at the head of the bed leaning against the headboard watching her.

She hummed softly and popped another grape into her mouth before she turned towards him. She blushed when she saw how intense his gaze upon her was, "What?" She asked nervously.

He shook his head and pulled his leg free from the sheet to rub her thigh with it slowly, "Nothing...I just like lookin at ya."

She smirked and popped another grape in her mouth, "Feelings mutual...trust me."

"So you like looking at yourself?" He said with a smirk.

She laughed and threw a grape at him which he caught easily and threw into his mouth, "No jerk...I like lookin at you…"

He chuckled and sat up to move closer to her, "Well that's good...it's very good."

She sighed happily as he lay on his stomach before her, she smiled and offered him a grape which he took gladly, "You're cute…" She whispered as she popped another one in her mouth, "And handsome...and sexy." She smirked and traced his bottom lip with her finger, "And incredibly talented in and outside of the kitchen…"

He blushed and he nipped her finger gently, "Lorelai…"

She giggled and pulled her hand back, "Just telling the truth…"

He smiled and reached for a grape and offered it to her, "So...you're satisfied then?" He asked in a nervous voice.

She smirked at him and leaned forward to kiss him gently, "Luke…"

"Just want to make sure…" He said shifting nervously under her intense gaze, "Because if there is something different you like...or want I can…"

Lorelai smiled, took the bowl of grapes and placed it on the floor at the foot of the bed. Then she pulled herself up, rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips. He stared up at her as she leaned down to kiss him passionately. He moaned at the sensation and his hands instinctively went to her waist and gave her a squeeze.

She pulled away just enough to look at him, "Luke...satisfied doesn't do you justice. You are without a doubt…" She bit her lip sensually and leaned down to kiss him again, "The most amazing lover I've ever had…"

He swallowed hard and glanced up at her in awe, "Really?"

She smiled and started to prep kisses along his face and neck, "No man has made me feel the way you do Luke...no one. And I can't get enough...I want you all the time."

Luke groaned as he squeezed her waist again, "You can have me whenever you want me…"

She giggled and pulled away, "So if I ripped your shirt off in the middle of the Diner and pushed you down on the counter in front of the whole town...you wouldn't complain?"

He blushed, "Geez Lorelai…"

She laughed and kissed him again, "You said I can have you whenever I want you...and trust me…" She licked the sensitive spot below his ear and whispered, "It's hard to keep my hands off of you when I see you walking around the Diner...especially when you roll your sleeves up and I can see the muscles in your arms. I imagine you pinning me against the wall with your strength...God it turns me on so much…"

He groaned when she wiggled her hips against him, "Lorelai…"

She bit her lip as she pulled away, "I can't get enough…" She leaned forward to kiss him again, "But...just so we're on the same page here…" She pulled away and started to push the flannel off of her body again, "Are you satisfied Luke?" He groaned as she moved her hips again, "Is there anything else you need from me? Want from me? I want you to tell me…"

He sighed and let his head fall further into the mattress as she pressed down on him, "If you give me anymore I might die…"

She giggled and ran her hands across his chest, "Well I don't want that...I definitely want you alive and well."

He smirked and took her hands off his chest and shocked her by rolling them over so he was above her again, "I am more than satisfied Lorelai...you are everything I have ever wanted and more. Trust me...just having you here like this is enough for me. You don't even need to touch me and you get me going…"

She smiled triumphantly at him, "So...we don't have to have sex ever again?"

He groaned and shook his head quickly, "Hell no...that's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying?" She said with a teasing look.

"I'm saying...all I need is you. You are more than enough for me...much more than enough." He said as he leaned down to kiss her, "I just want your extra time…"

She giggled and leaned up to give him a peck, "And your…"

"Kiss." He said as he leaned down again, she laughed as he buried his face in her neck and tickled her sides.

She held him close and reminded herself to put on shows for him more often. If this was the kind of reaction they would produce...they were more than worth the embarrassment. But if she was honest with herself...she wasn't embarrassed. She felt so incredibly comfortable and confident with him and that was something she valued above all else. All she needed was him...the rest would fall into place over time. And for now...all that mattered was that her happiness was growing with each passing moment with this man.

* * *

 **So there it is...just a quick cute one. Hope you enjoyed! Searchlight will be updated again either today or early tomorrow morning. :) Enjoy!**


	14. Reflecting Light

**Hey guys! It has been such a crazy week for me and I haven't had time to write. But I remembered I had this one shot saved on my computer so I figured I would upload it. Takes place in season 5, not based around any episode. It's my take on the first time they say I love you and the song "Reflecting Light" comes into place :) I know all you L/L lovers love that song! Enjoy. I will try and update this and "Searchlight" really soon!**

 ** _Now that I've worn out_**  
 ** _I've worn out the world_**  
 ** _I'm on my knees in fascination_**  
 ** _Looking through the night_**  
 ** _And the moon's never seen me before_**  
 ** _But I'm reflecting light_**

 ** _I rode the pain down_**  
 ** _Got off and looked up_**  
 ** _Looked into your eyes_**  
 ** _The lost open windows_**  
 ** _All around_**  
 ** _My dark heart lit up the skies_**

 ** _Now that I've worn out_**  
 ** _I've worn out the world_**  
 ** _I'm on my knees in fascination_**  
 ** _Looking through the night_**  
 ** _And the moon's never seen me before_**  
 ** _But I'm reflecting light_**

 ** _Give up the ground_**  
 ** _Under your feet_**  
 ** _Hold on to nothing for good_**  
 ** _Turn and run at the mean dogs_**  
 ** _Chasing you_**  
 ** _Stand-alone and misunderstood_**

 ** _Now that I've worn out_**  
 ** _I've worn out the world_**  
 ** _I'm on my knees in fascination_**  
 ** _Looking through the night_**  
 ** _And the moon's never seen me before_**

 ** _But I'm reflecting light_**

* * *

Lorelai was standing in her empty Inn frustrated that once again the snow had led to cancellations. The impending storm was promised to be the worst so far this year, heavy snow, strong winds and potential power outages. As much as Lorelai loved snow, she hated when the power went out, especially now that Rory wasn't home. The idea of being home alone in complete darkness where anyone and anything could come for her scared her to death.

But now she was dating Luke, they often spent most nights together. Would Luke want to stay with her i the power went out? She hoped he would. But she wasn't sure. She was interrupted from her thoughts when Michel walked up to the front desk.

"I am leaving. There is no point in me being here with no guests. And I refuse to get stuck here and have to sleep on anything less than my 400 count egyptian cotton sheets." Michel said in a low annoyed tone.

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Fine. I'll try and call you tomorrow depending on the weather we may have guests…"

"I highly doubt it." Michel said as he grabbed his coat and keys, "I will be using the snow day to do a 24 hour cleanse. Do NOT bother me."

Lorelai laughed as he walked past her, "Drive safe Michel!"

He only raised his hand to wave quickly as he walked out into the snow which was starting to come down pretty hard. She walked to the window and looked out her usual friend and wondered if she could hack being alone for the night in the cold. Just then the lights flickered and Lorelai realized there was no use staying at the Inn either.

She walked back to the desk, grabbed her keys and went to lock up the Inn. She made her way through the whipping winds and into the jeep. She drove as slow as possible until she finally reached her house, she was surprised to see Luke's green truck parked in the driveway. Her heart jumped in her chest as she quickly got out of the car.

The door was already open when she got to the top of the steps, "Get in here. It's freezing."

Luke pulled her into the house and quickly slammed the door behind her, Lorelai shivered and turned towards him. "What are you doing here?"

Luke shrugged nonchalantly, "Diner was dead. Everyone is pretty much already locked up in their houses. It's supposed to get pretty bad out there."

The lights flickered again and a frown fell over Lorelai's face as she hugged herself tightly, "I hate when the power goes out…"

Luke smiled and gave her arm a gentle squeeze, "I know. Which is why I didn't want you to be alone."

Lorelai smiled and leaned forward to wrap her arms around him, "I figured you'd run for the hills when the power went out. You really wanna be stuck with me? You know how bored I get. I'll probably never shut up."

Luke laughed as she pulled away, "I'll think of some ways to shut you up…" He growled in a husky voice.

Lorelai blushed, "Oh really?"

He smirked as she pulled away, "Yup. In fact I already have a few ideas…" He said tracing her bottom lip with his index finger.

Lorelai smiled that smile that drove him insane as she leaned in and whispered, "Oh honey...we both know I am never quiet...especially in bed." She nipped his ear playfully and then pulled away before going down the hallway towards the stairs. "I'm going to change and call Rory. Just want to check in on her...see how the weather is up there."

Luke swallowed hard thinking about what she had said first, trying to knock the words from his head he nodded slowly, "Sure…"

"Did you bring food?" Lorelai asked hopefully as she glanced over her shoulder at him.

Luke smiled, "Yup. And beer."

"Angel baby, you've got wings!" She said winking at him as she flew up the stairs and up to her bedroom leaving him alone downstairs once more.

Up in her room, Lorelai took a deep breath and plopped on the bed before calling Rory's number. _"Hey Mom."_

"Hey sweets. How's the snow up your way? It's getting pretty bad here. Inn's empty." Lorelai said as she twirled her hair between her fingers.

 _"Yeah. It's starting to pick up here too. Paris is already freaking out about missing classes." Rory said with a sigh, "She doesn't realize that a snow day means staying in bed and reading all day."_

Lorelai scoffed, "In your world yes. In my world it means sock puppets, eating all the food in the fridge before it goes bad and finding new ways to annoy Luke."

 _Rory laughed, "Is he there?"_

"Yes. My amazing boyfriend surprised me by closing up the Diner to come keep me company because he knows I hate being alone in the dark." Lorelai said with a smile.

 _"Well that's nice." Rory said with a soft smile, "I'm glad things are going so well with you guys."_

"Me too kid." Lorelai said with a happy sigh, "It's really good…" She looked out the window and saw the wind picking up, "Are you okay? Warm enough? What happens if the power goes out? Will you starve?"

 _"Paris and I went to the store yesterday and stocked up on the essentials. Pop tarts, every kind of cereal known to man and all other kinds of junk food. We should be fine. Plus Yale has generators so we should be good." Rory assured her Mom._

"I knew there was a reason they charged the big bucks." Lorelai said sitting up. "But seriously...I'm glad you'll be safe. Stay inside and read your books...don't let Paris bug you too much. Call me if you need anything...I'll make Luke shovel a path to Yale if he has too."

 _Rory laughed, "I'm sure he'd love that."_

"Even if he didn't...we both know he would." Lorelai said with a happy smile.

 _"True. Try and go easy on him...don't drive him to crazy. I think you actually want to keep this one." Rory teased._

Lorelai chuckled, "I definitely do."

 _"Good. Well just remember that when you are doing the whole sock puppet thing." Rory said with a laugh._

"I'll do my best. But I make no promises. Love you kid. Talk to you later." She whispered into the phone.

 _"Love you too Mom. Enjoy being snowed in with Luke. Bye." Rory replied before hanging up._

Lorelai smiled, shut her phone and quickly started to change into some warm and comfortable clothes so she could get back to Luke. She dressed in layers figuring the power was bound to go out sooner or later as the lights were flickering again. Once she was ready, she bounced down the stairs and smiled when she saw Luke starting a fire for them.

"Look at you all being all outdoorsy." Lorelai said as she curled up on the couch.

Luke chuckled and turned back to her, "Just figured we could use it for heat when the power does go out."

At his words the room went dark and Lorelai jumped, "Geez...how'd you do that?"

Luke laughed and stood up before joining her on the couch, "Purely coincidental."

Lorelai snuggled into his side and pointed at his chest, "If I didn't know any better...I'd say you planned this whole snow storm with Mother Nature so you could keep me locked away for at least 24 hours."

Luke rolled his eyes, "Yes. You caught me. This was all my master plan."

She smirked up at him, "What are you going to do with me?"

Luke chuckled and brushed his lips against her temple, "Everything."

She shivered against his touch and turned to rest her head on his chest so she could stare at the fire. "You know...it might not be so bad...being powerless I mean. With you…"

Luke smiled and reached for the blanket behind the couch and draping it over her as he ran his arm up and down her arm, "No...I don't' think it will be that bad. No annoying customers to interrupt us…"

"Think Kirk will survive 24 hours without Luke's?" She teased, "Sometimes I think he is more dependent on you than I am."

He groaned, "God I hope not...he's a grown man."

She turned her head so she could stare up at him, "He looks up to you Luke...I think it's sweet."

"Looks up to me? Why would he possibly look up to me? I've never done anything special." Luke said with a snort, "I live above my Diner...and I'm almost 40. I have one failed marriage under my belt and have never traveled much farther than the New England borders."

Lorelai frowned and moved to be able to look at him, "Hey...don't talk like that. You're an amazing guy Luke Danes."

He scoffed, "You have to say that. You're dating me…"

Lorelai scooted closer and held his hands in hers, "Luke...I think you are amazing. I wouldn't date you if I didn't think that. Of course Kirk looks up to you...you're loyal and supportive of everyone in this town no matter how much they drive you insane. You work hard and have built a business for yourself from scratch...built a life for yourself that he doesn't have. Not to mention you have taken care of this crazy woman who has an addiction for coffee and junk food which you hate without expecting anything in return. That's pretty amazing."

Luke smirked as he reached up to tug at one of her curls, "Well...you were cute so I dealt with the coffee and the junk food."

Lorelai smiled and leaned forward to kiss him gently, "Please don't ever say you aren't' special because you are very special. Especially to me." She said with a sad smile, she hated when he didn't see how amazing he was.

Luke stared at her for a moment before whispering, "Okay…"

"Okay…" She whispered as she nuzzled his nose and then turned to lean her back against his chest again to stare at the fire.

"So…" Luke whispered as he resumed rubbing her arm gently "How's Rory? All safe and set up at school?"

"Yup. She went to get the essentials with Paris yesterday for food. Plus that fancy school of hers has generators to keep her with power unlike the rest of us." She said with a click of her tongue.

Luke chuckled and kissed the top of her head, "Well I'm glad she will be safe."

"Mhm." She said as she leaned into him, "But I told her if she needed anything you'd of course shovel a path from here to Yale to save her."

Luke smiled and gave her arm an affectionate squeeze, "Of course I would."

Lorelai smiled happily as her eyes stayed shut, "See...that's why I love you so much." As soon as the words left her mouth, her eyes popped open and Luke's hand stilled against her arm. She sat up quickly and pulled herself off the couch, "Um...did you say something about beer? You want one? I'll go and get one...um...and maybe a snack...I should-"

"Lorelai." Luke said as his body turned towards her slowly trying to register what had just happened.

"I think I have vodka too...if you want something different." She said unable to meet his eyes. "I think I want vodka...stronger...should I call Babette and check on her? Or maybe I don't want to interrupt her and Morey...god knows what they are doing."

"Lorelai." Luke tried again as he stood up to walk towards her.

She stepped back towards the kitchen again wanting to put as much distance between them as possible, "I'll just bring the vodka and beer...and you can decide. And then...then I'll-"

"Lorelai!" Luke yelled, a little louder than he intended to, but he was frustrated and needed answers.

She jumped and swallowed hard to look at him nervously, "I…"

He sighed and walked all the way up to her, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell at you." He cleared his throat, "I just...you said…"

Her eyes welled with tears and her hands were shaking, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that…"

Luke's heart dropped to his stomach at her response, "Oh…"

"I...it's okay." She said shaking her head, "To soon right? It's okay...you don't have to say anything back. I...I shouldn't have." She looked towards the kitchen, "I'll go get that drink...you can um…"

Luke watched her walk out of the living room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. She had said she loved him...and yet now she seemed to be taking it back. So...she didn't mean it? Did she just say it as a joke? He knew how he felt...sure he had never said it...he just sort of assumed she knew. The whole keeping the horoscope in his wallet for 8 years was kind of a dead give away to his feelings in his opinion. But...what did she feel about him?

She came back in, not looking at him as she set the drinks on the counter and she took a rather large swig of her cranberry and vodka drink. "So...there's your beer. Did you want a glass? Should I get you one? I can...let me go-"

She turned to leave again but his hand quickly found her wrist to still her. "Stop."

She sighed and turned towards him, "Luke…"

"Just...did you mean it or no?" He whispered afraid of what her answer would be.

Lorelai licked her lips to turn to face him, "I…" She paused, "I've never said that to anyone Luke...I mean no one other than Rory. Sure I've probably said it to Sookie...you know she's my best friend but…" She paused and her eyes filled up with tears, "I've never said that to a guy before…"

Luke nodded slowly understanding her nervousness, "But...did you mean it?"

She closed her eyes and felt her hands shake as she nodded slowly and honestly, "Yes."

Luke let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, feeling extremely relieved. "Lorelai…"

She sighed and opened her eyes again, "Oh man...I ruined everything didn't I? I shouldn't have...I'm sorry. I just...you were here...and being so sweet...and the fire...and you said you'd rescue Rory."

"Of course I'd rescue Rory…" Luke said with a soft smile, he cocked his head to the side and stared at her curiously. "You know I'd do anything for her. For you…"

Lorelai nodded, "I know...and that made me fall for you Luke. And...I probably felt it way sooner than I realized. And...it scares me...and it feels big...I've never said that. Not even to Max...and I was going to marry him! But I didn't say it because I didn't feel it.."

Luke sighed and stepped closer to her, "Lorelai…"

"And I don't want to do anything that's going to scare you away. But I feel like I just did...and I feel so stupid." She slammed her palm against her forehead, "God, I'm such an idiot. I did this all wrong…"

Luke pulled at her arm and held her close, "Would you be quiet for a minute? You didn't screw anything up."

"But I-" She started to speak again but he cut her off with a kiss, her eyes fluttered open when he pulled away and she tried to catch her breath. "Luke…"

"I love you too." He whispered as he held her face in his hands and smiled down at her in the dark room.

She swallowed hard and took a moment before answering in the softest voice he had ever heard from her, "You...you do?"

Luke smiled and pulled her even closer, "I kind of thought the keeping the horoscope in my wallet for 8 years implied that…"

She licked her lips and held his hips tightly to try and steady herself, her head was spinning, "You love me…"

Luke smiled and leaned down to kiss her again, "I love you…" He whispered huskily against her lips.

She breathed him in and nodded, "You love me...and I love you…"

Luke chuckled and nodded slowly as he stroked the side of her face, "Seems to be the consensus…"

She pulled back slightly wanting to look directly at him. "Wow…"

He rubbed her arms gently, and took a deep breath. "Yeah...wow…"

"This is...this is big." She paused and looked up at him slowly, and still a little unsure. "I mean...this is big right? It feels big..."

Luke smiled at her nervousness "I think so…"

She nodded slowly, "Okay…"

Luke smiled and glanced out the window, "Guess you were right...good things always happen when it snows."

Lorelai smiled and wrapped her arms tighter around his waist, "Very good things…"

Luke smiled and leaned down to kiss her softly, "You still want that drink you made?"

Lorelai shivered as his hands slid down her arms, "No…"

He smiled as he watched her swallow hard, "What do you want? Snacks? Heard you mention sock puppet shows to Rory...that could be entertaining…especially if they are dirty."

Lorelai's nails bit into his hips as she sighed feeling his left hand begin to run under the hem of her sweater, "Nuh uh…"

He smiled and leaned against her ear, nipping at the sensitive flesh there, "What do you want Lorelai?"

She sighed happily and held him close. "You Luke. I want you."

"Good answer." He groaned as he crushed her lips against his and pulled her as close as humanly possible. "Upstairs…" He mumbled against her lips.

"To cold…" Lorelai gasped as he bit on her earlobe. "Fire. Floor. Now...oh please Luke…"

He pulled away and stared down at her, her eyes were brimming with tears, "Lorelai?"

She swallowed hard, "I just…" She laughed slightly as she wiped away her tears and looked down at the ground, "Is this really happening? You really said...you really feel…"

"Hey…" Luke whispered as he lifted her chin with his finger, "Of course I do. I would never say it if I didn't..."

She let out a ragged breath, "I didn't think anyone ever would love me…"

"Well I do." Luke whispered as he led her towards the fireplace, "I definitely do."

Her hands shook as she lifted them to place on his chest, "I do too…"

"Good. That's good…" He cracked a small smile as he reached for the hem of her shirt and began to pull it up slowly.

"Very good…" She whispered as her smile grew and she beamed up at him in the light of the fire to let him show her how much he loved her.

* * *

Hours later, Lorelai lay on her stomach resting her head on his chest as they lay in front of the fire. Luke had propped up couch pillows behind his head and thrown blankets over them to keep them warm by the fire.

"Well you really hit the romance jackpot today…" Lorelai teased as she played with his hand gently, "Snow storm...my personal weakness...finally admitting to each other how we feel...making love by the fire…" She turned her head slightly to look over at him, "Perfect."

Luke smiled down at her, "Mhm…"

She scooted closer so that her face was closer to his, "Did you ever thing we would get here?"

Luke rubbed her back gently, "I always hoped so…"

"Can I ask you something?" She asked with a soft nervous smile.

He nodded, "Sure."

"Do you remember that night at the Diner...when you showed me that spot behind the counter...it was one of your Dad's orders?" She asked slowly.

Luke swallowed hard, "Uh yeah...why?"

"Did you want to kiss me that night?" She asked curiously.

Luke sighed and tugged gently at her hair, "That was one of the millions of times I wanted to kiss you. Probably the closest I ever got though…"

Lorelai nodded once, "So...when I called you about the loose chick in the house?"

Luke chuckled, "Yeah...I didn't think you had a loose chick in the house. I just...sort of assumed you wanted something else…Or I guess I hoped you did."

She smiled softly and nuzzled his chest gently, "Oh Luke…"

He gave her a small squeeze, "It was a long time ago Lorelai…"

She sighed, "I know...but sometimes it makes me sad to think we wasted so much time. I wish I had just...stopped being so afraid before…I didn't want to lose you as a friend. I still don't."

"You won't." He whispered as he ran a hand through her hair, "I'll always be your friend."

She pouted softly, "You can't guarantee that…"

He sighed sadly, "I guess I can't...but no matter what happens...if you really need me...I'll be there. You know me Lorelai."

She smiled, "Yes. I do. And you're right...you're a good man Luke. Exactly why Kirk looks up to you."

Luke groaned, "Don't mention Kirk when we are like this…" He grimaced as he gestured between their naked bodies.

"Still haven't gotten the image of Kirk's naked butt out of your head?" She teased as she poked his side.

He huffed and sat up, "Moment ruined…"

"Oh no! No. Come back…" She laughed as she tugged at his arm.

"Bad, bad images…" Luke said through gritted teeth, "Stupid Kirk and his night terrors ruined that…"

"Didn't ruin it…" Lorelai whispered as she nuzzled his cheek from behind, "It was a really great first kiss. Best one I've ever had."

"Better be the last first kiss you have." He countered quickly with a smirk as he glanced back at her out of the corner of his eye.

She squeezed him affectionately, "God I hope so…" She kissed his cheek and tugged at his arm again, "Come back…please...I won't mention Kirk or his naked butt anymore."

He couldn't help but laugh, "Lorelai…"

"Last time...I promise!" She said with a laugh as she lay down and pulled his arm again, "Come keep the girl you love warm…"

Luke turned to glance at her with a soft smile, "You're going to use that against me now, aren't you?"

She smiled playfully, "Uh...probably."

He rolled his eyes and lay next to her, "God help me…if you do it with hair flip I'm a gonner."

She giggled and turned to rest against him once more, "This feels nice…"

"Yes it does…" He said as he watched the firelight dance on her skin. "Very nice…"

"See now you can't hate snow...snow is good. Snow makes wonderful things happen." She said closing her eyes as he massaged her scalp gently.

"I will never doubt the magic of snow again…" He said honestly as he saw her smile gently. "Although I will protest the whole walking out in it when I could be sleeping…"

"Hey...I made it up to you when I came back into the apartment…" Lorelai said nudging him playfully, "I didn't hear you complaining in the morning…"

"True…" Luke said with a laugh, "Snow makes you happy which makes you excited to share that happiness...so I guess I like snow."

She rolled her eyes, "Pig."

He laughed again, "What can I say? You're beautiful Lorelai…"

Her cheeks flushed at his words, "Flattery will get you out of pretty much everything my friend…"

"I'll remember that." Luke said with a smile as he watched her close her eyes again.

"Rory took her first steps in the snow…" Lorelai said with a happy smile, "She would stand up...but she wouldn't really walk. I was beginning to worry...I didn't know much about babies. And then one day I was locking up the potting shed...and I placed her down in her little snow suit. And when I turned back around...she was taking steps towards the Inn. I couldn't believe it. Of course she didn't make it very far...hard to walk in snow pants." She said with a laugh, "But she looked so damn cute…"

Luke chuckled thinking of a pint sized Rory waddling in the snow, "I can imagine...she was always a cute kid."

She smiled, "She had you wrapped around her finger from the moment you laid eyes on her."

"Like mother like daughter…" Luke said with an eye roll, "I had no chance of escaping you two and your powers…"

"Damn right…" Lorelai said with a triumphant smile, "You're under our spell."

He smirked, "Guess so…"

Lorelai looked around the dark room, "This makes me think of this one time...must have been about a year after we moved in and I missed the electrical bill. We lost power...and I had no money to pay for it. The whole homeowner thing seemed great until I remembered I had to pay bills. Poor Rory was so confused...I told her it was just an adventure we were going to embark on. She didn't really buy it...but she didn't argue with me. She was a good kid."

"About a year after you moved in? I remember that...you didn't come into the Diner for weeks." Luke said with a frown, "I thought you were mad at me about something…"

Lorelai shook her head, "No. I just was saving every penny I had to make sure that I could pay the bill for the following month. Sookie was good...she knew better than to offer money...so she just accidentally made too much food every day so that Rory and I wouldn't starve." She smirked at him, "Something you did plenty of times…"

"Why didn't you ever ask me for help?" Luke asked giving her a squeeze feeling his heart ache over the pain she had so often felt.

Lorelai laughed, "Luke I always asked for help. How many damn times did you fix things for free around here?"

Luke shook his head, "It was no big deal...I wanted to help. I still do."

Lorelai sighed and glanced over at the fire, "Yeah I know. Everyone did...but I just…" She swallowed hard and tried to keep the tears at bay, "I wanted to do it myself ya know? She was my kid. She was my responsibility and I just felt so much guilt about needing help. I got pregnant at 16. I chose to keep Rory. It was my job to take care of her. No one else."

"Lorelai…" Luke sighed and sat up slightly.

"I should have done more...I should have given her more…" She said as her eyes closed and a few stray tears escaped the corners, "She deserved such a good life...a real family."

Luke stared down at her and put a hand on her face, "Hey...you gave her an amazing life Lorelai. Not many people in your shoes would have been able to do what you did. Rory adores you...you gave up everything for her. She knows that."

She sighed, "I just...wonder sometimes what her life would have been like...if I had stayed. I didn't want to stay with my parents...but they could have given her so much more."

Luke moved to lean down to kiss her, "Then she wouldn't be the kid she is today...she is who she is because of the life you gave her. And if you ask me...she's a damn good kid."

"You're kind of biased." Lorelai said with a sad smile.

Luke shrugged, "Maybe. But I remember the first time you brought her into the Diner...usually kids drove me nuts. They were loud and demanding. Rude and messy. But Rory sat there...read her menu...glanced up at me with those blue eyes and said, 'I'll just have a grilled cheese please.' Handed me the menu and probably said thank you about 100 times." He laughed, "I had never seen anything like her…"

Lorelai smiled, "Yeah well...I got lucky."

Luke squeezed her arm, "So did she. She got you for a Mom. She hit the jackpot if you ask me."

Lorelai's smile widened, "Luke…"

"And from now on...when you need something…" He shrugged, "You ask me. Okay? You're not alone anymore Lorelai...

Her eyes welled with tears again, "See...really great guy." She whispered and reached to cup his face in her hands, "Damn I got lucky…"

Luke blushed, "I'm just saying...we're in a relationship now...I want to help you with things if I can. No matter what it is."

"It works both ways. You can ask me for help too...you know that, right?" She said as she ran her hands through his hair.

Luke nodded, "I do…"

She smiled, "Good. Now kiss me Burger Boy."

Luke chuckled and leaned down to kiss her just as a low hum and the flickering of the lights signaled the power was back on. "Look at that…" He said as he pulled away.

Lorelai looked around at the now lit up room and suddenly missed the romance of the moment, "Hey Luke...wanna know a secret?"

He glanced back down at her, "I don't know...do I?"

She smiled, "When you left to go help TJ and Liz at the Renaissance fair...I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Luke's face reddened as he cleared his throat to respond, "I couldn't stop thinking about you either…I had had a taste of Lorelai Gilmore and I wanted more. I was just afraid you'd change your mind before I got the chance to come back."

Lorelai shook her head and reached out for his flannel, "Didn't change my mind. Couldn't change my mind."

He watched her pull away from him and slip on his shirt, "Where are you going?"

She stood up and smiled brilliantly at him, "About two weeks after you left...I was feeling a little sad. I missed you." She walked over to the corner where the CD player was and began to sort through the pile on the floor. "So Sookie and I went shopping one day...and I did a little searching."

He sat up and pulled the blanket over him, "Searching for what?"

Lorelai found what she was looking for and smiled, she turned back to him with a twinkle in his eyes and then turned to turn off the lights again. She saw a confused expression on his face as she opened the CD player and popped a disk in and skipped to the right track.

It took him a moment to to recognize the song, but soon his mind was filled with memories of Lorelai in a pink dress and flowers in her hair. He remembered how nervous he felt asking her to dance, how his heart had nearly burst from his chest when she had said yes, and how good it felt to hold her close.

"This is the song from Liz's wedding…" Luke said with a small smile.

Lorelai turned back to him and tip toed back to him on the floor, he opened his arms and she settled into his lap. "I had to have it. Every time I really missed you I would play it. So naturally I probably listened to it a thousand times while you were gone…"

Luke gave her hips a squeeze, "Lorelai…

"I was so surprised when you asked me to dance...not just because you had told Crazy Carrie that you couldn't. But because...we had never really crossed that line before. It was something so...intimate and new for us. And I was terrified at first...but then when we were dancing…" She sighed happily and shrugged, "I felt safe with you…"

He put his left hand in her curly hair and smiled, "You are safe."

She nodded, "I know I am. For the first time in my life I really believe that…" She licked her lips and smiled at him, "Did you like my pretty pink dress?"

Luke laughed, "I think you picked it out just to torture me."

She fluttered her eyelashes innocently, "I was just trying to figure out what you wanted…"

He groaned and let his hands run down her back, "Oh I'll tell you what I wanted…"

She giggled and nuzzled the side of his face, "And then you walked me home...and asked me out. And I couldn't believe it…"

"You and me both." Luke said with a laugh, "But I couldn't let it end at that...I wanted more."

She pulled away slightly, "I'm glad you did…"

Luke stared at her for a moment, "I had no choice Lorelai. You're what I want...no one else. Just you."

She sighed sadly, "Sometimes I don't understand why...but I'm damn glad you feel that way."

Luke cradled her body against this as he lay her down in in front of the fire again, "I'm always going to want you Lorelai. That I can guarantee...if I haven't been able to shake you in the last 8 years...nothing is going to change that…"

She held his face in her hands as she stared up at his face that was lit only by the light of the fire, "Remind me to remind you of that very statement whenever I find a way to screw this up."

"Shhh…" Luke whispered as he leaned down to kiss her gently, "No more talking."

She inhaled sharply as his hands slid under the bottom of his shirt and caressed her stomach, "Done with the talking?"

Luke nodded and let his lips trail from her cheek to her neck, "Yes."

She gasped as he bit down on the sensitive spot under her ear, "You want me to do a dirty sock puppet show?"

Luke chuckled as he ran his tongue across her earlobe, "No."

"Do you want me to pull out the ouija board? Rustle up some spirits from good old Stars Hollow?" She teased as his hands began to unbutton his shirt.

"Lorelai…" He couldn't help but laugh at her ability to keep him guessing.

"Oh I know!" She said with a brilliant smile, "You want me to turn on my Madonna CD and recreate the concert I saw before I got pregnant with Rory. I know all the moves! You want a little material girl?"

"You're insufferable…" He said laughing as he leaned his forehead against her chest and felt her body shake with her own laughter.

She smiled and lifted his face to look at him, "What do you want Luke?"

He let out a slow breath before leaning up to capture her lips, "You. I want you Lorelai…"

Her smile widened as he stared down at her in the fire light, her face glowed and she felt the love he felt for her. "Good answer…"

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her again. She pulled him as close as possible wanting to feel his body right up against hers. She sighed happily into his mouth as his hands roamed her body but she looked up at him when he pulled away.

He smiled as he listened to the song playing, "Did you put it on repeat?"

Lorelai laughed, "Yup. Get ready to get this song branded in your head babe. Because you aren't allowed to move from this spot until I've had my way with you…"

Luke laughed and looked down at her, "I can live with that…"

"Kiss me." Lorelai beamed up at him as he pulled her close again.

She rolled them over and reveled in the feeling of having the man she loved as close as possible. Once again, the magic of snow had given her a gift. This time, it was the greatest gift of all. Love.

* * *

 **So what did you think? Just a cute little one to tide you over until I have time to really write again! Stupid school keeps getting in the way. I promise I will write something this week! :)**

 **I do have an idea and song for the next chapter, but my idea would be pretty M rated. So...if I do it I will post a note on here saying to look out for it in the M section. Not sure how people will feel about that hahaha but I might give it a shot anyway.**


	15. Jealous

**Hey guys! The next chapter for this is rated M so it is in the M section under the title "Luke and Lorelai: A Playlist (The rated M chapters). :) Thanks!**


	16. Warning Sign

**Hey guys :) Here is another** **G rated one! Don't forget to check out the other one-shots in the M section. Working on another one right now. This one-shot is based on one of my all time favorite songs "Warning Sign" by Coldplay. Set after Lorelai sings "I will always love you" in season 7. Enjoy!**

 **A warnin' sign**  
 **I missed the good part, then I realized**  
 **I started lookin', and the bubble burst**  
 **I started lookin' for excuses**

 **Come on in**  
 **I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in**  
 **I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones**  
 **That I started lookin' for a warnin' sign**

 **When the truth is, I miss you**  
 **Yeah, the truth is, that I miss you so**

 **A warnin' sign**  
 **It came back to haunt me, and I realized**  
 **That you were an island, and I passed you by**  
 **And you were an island, to discover**

 **Come on in**  
 **I've gotta tell you, what a state I'm in**  
 **I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones**  
 **That I started lookin' for a warnin' sign, yeah**

 **When the truth is, I miss you**  
 **Yeah, the truth is, that I miss you so**  
 **And I'm tired, I should not have let you go**

 **So I crawl back into your open arms**  
 **Yes, I crawl back into your open arms**  
 **And I crawl back into your open arms**

 **Yes, I crawl back into your open arms**

* * *

Lorelai stood outside the Diner, contemplating going in. Just nights before she had sung "I will always love you" to a crowd of her friends at KC's...but mostly she had just sung it to Luke. She tried to tell herself and everyone else it didn't mean anything...but of course she knew that was a lie. Sure, it had started out as a joke for Rory...but the moment he walked in something in the room shifted and the song became a declaration of love to him. But...he had done nothing about it. He hadn't mentioned it, he hadn't showed any sign of feeling the same way. Yes, he had smiled at her as she sang, but maybe he was just being polite. Or maybe...he was incredibly embarrassed for her.

With Rory graduating and heading off to a new job, she decided it was time to make some big decisions of her own. The idea of Rory moving so far away and being all alone in that big house was to much to handle. She was to vulnerable. She was too empty and it had nothing to do with Christopher leaving but everything to do with the giant hole in her heart left by none other than Luke Danes. Christopher had been a good distraction from the pain. But now he was gone and it was all she could think about. And the longer she stayed at her house, the more the pain intensified which she knew she couldn't handle anymore.

So...she had made a decision. It was time to move on once and for all. Luke didn't want her, not that she could blame him. But she couldn't sit here and wait anymore. She didn't need all that extra space, and all those reminders of the house that they had rebuilt together thinking they would live in it forever. Two days ago she had contacted a realtor who was a friend of her parents and would be selling the house. Luke had spent a great deal of money on renovations and it only seemed right for her to tell him she would be selling so she could give him part of the profit. She figured it would be an awkward but quick conversation, they would agree to have their lawyers speak and that would be the end of it. Because after all...he didn't love her right?

With a deep breath, Lorelai pushed open the Diner door, heard the familiar bells jingle above her as she stepped into the familiar place.

"Hey Lorelai!" Babette and Patty called from their spots at the counter, "It's so good to see you in here again."

Lorelai blushed, "Yeah...um. Have you seen Luke? Or is he out?"

"He just stepped in the back I think." Babette said with a knowing smile, "But I'm sure he wouldn't mind it if you went back there...considering everything…"

"Um...I'm not sure what you are talking about?" Lorelai said feeling her heart pound in her chest as she looked around at anyone but the two biggest gossips in town.

"The song!" Patty said with glee, "That song...you could feel the pent up tension and emotion. The way you locked eyes with him…it was so romantic!"

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Oh...the song? Yeah...I mean...that was for Rory. And I had had so much tequila…" She said waving her hand nervously as she tried to laugh it off, "It wasn't like that...Luke doesn't…" She paused, "Um...Luke doesn't feel that way so...it doesn't matter. But...I think I'll go talk to him quick. Shouldn't take long. Bye ladies." She said quickly walking past them towards the familiar store room.

Her heart was hammering away as she thought about the times when they were dating and she often snuck up on him in the store room. He would pretend to be angry, but as soon as her lips found his he gave in and pulled her close. Those days seemed like a million years ago…

She took a breath to steady herself as she knocked on the open door, "Luke?"

He knew that voice, he heard it haunting his dreams for years. Especially this past year. He quickly stood straight from his spot behind a few shelves and popped his head around the corner to see her standing there nervously. He hadn't seen her since kareoke night...when she sang that damn song. Everyone kept saying it meant something...and he wanted it to mean something...but did it really?

"Lorelai...hi." He pushed boxes aside as he walked closer to her, "Um...everything okay?"

She felt her hands began to shake and she quickly put them behind her back hoping he wouldn't notice, "Oh. Yeah. Everything is fine. Just wanted to talk to you about something...Patty said you were back here. I um...I can come back if this isn't a good time?"

Luke brushed his hands off and stepped all the way up to her, "Oh no. Now's fine…"

Lorelai nodded and stepped through the threshold of the room, "Good. Good…"

Luke watched her for a moment, trying to read her expression. She seemed nervous, something she never showed before their breakup. She was always so damn confident, waltzing into the Diner like a million bucks and making him fall harder and harder for her with each passing day. But now...now there was an awkwardness between them which was something he hated. Sometimes he wished it could go back to the way it was all those years ago...just friends. At least then he'd have her in his life in some capacity.

"So...what did you want to talk about?" Luke asked shrugging.

Lorelai suddenly felt her mouth go dry, "I...I'm selling the house." She blurted out without thinking.

Luke's face had shock written all over it, "Your house? You're selling your house?"

She grimaced slightly at his words but urged herself to continue so that this conversation could be over as soon as possible. "Yes. I...I'm not sure if you heard that Rory got a job. She's leaving for Iowa soon…"

Luke nodded quickly and tried to slow his breathing, "Babette mentioned it…"

Lorelai tried to smile, "Yeah...big deal. She's very excited."

He nodded again trying to figure out what she was really saying, "Right. We are all proud of her." He paused and cleared his throat, "But what does that have to do with you selling the house? You need money or something? Can't your parents help or Chri-"

Lorelai cut him off quickly before he could say his name, "Oh no. I don't need money...I just…" She licked her lips and looked down at her bright red heels, "It's a big house. And...it will just be me and Paul Anka now. Seems silly...all that extra space. Just more rooms for me to clean...which we both know will never happen. So they will just collect dust and I'll develop asthma and-"

"Lorelai." Luke quickly cut her off, not in the mood for one of her rants. "You love that house."

She took a deep breath and glanced up at him "I do...it's a great house."

"We didn't move because you loved that house." Luke said incredulously, "You didn't want too. You wanted to stay there so we fixed it up so you didn't have to leave."

She swallowed hard and tried to keep the tears at bay, "That was then…"

"Lorelai…" Luke said with a sigh as he stepped closer to her.

"I don't need that much space. It's just...it's time." Lorelai said with a shrug as she backed away, "I just wanted you to know because I think it's only fair that you get part of the profit from it. You did put a lot of money into it…"

Luke couldn't help but laugh, "You think I want the money? You think I care about that?"

"It's the right thing to do." Lorelai said stubbornly as she tried to push away the ache in her chest.

"I don't want your money...especially not from that…" He said angrily, "Why would you think I would do that? Why would you think I would want you to move out?"

She opened her mouth to respond but couldn't seem to find the words. So instead she opened her bag, took out her lawyers and her realtors cards and held it out to him with a shaky hand.

"Even if you don't want it...I'm still going to give it to you. My lawyer will call and we will figure out percentages and all that." She said awkwardly holding her hand between them.

Luke didn't move to take the card, he only put his hands on his hips and stared at her angrily, "You're serious right now? This isn't one of your bits? You're actually selling that damn house?"

Lorelai sighed and dropped her arm, "Luke...I can't be there, okay? I just...I…" She paused and shook her head sadly, "It's too much...it hurts to much…"

Her words cut through him like a knife, just like the song had and suddenly he was standing outside the Diner with her begging him to marry her. "Lorelai…"

She sniffled as the tears began to fall and she placed the cards on a nearby shelf, "I'm sure they will call you soon. Have a good day Luke."

With that she turned on her heel and walked as quick as possible out of the store room. And Luke once again stood rooted in his spot watching her walk away. The same thing he had done months before which brought them to this very moment. His head was screaming at him to run after her and say something. Anything. He couldn't let her way away...not again. And yet...he did. With a groan of frustration, he kicked a box on the ground and let his head fall to his chest in defeat.

Lorelai walked as fast as she could down the hallway, through the Diner and ignored Patty and Babette calling out to her. She knew people were staring, they were all staring...just like they had done at karaoke. But it didn't matter...none of it mattered. He didn't want her. He had said they had to stop fighting it and just go back to her being the customer...and the guy that poured her coffee. That's what he wanted. She slammed the door behind her as she quickly climbed into the Jeep and drove to the Inn.

She sat in her car trying to catch her breath, trying to stop the tears but she didn't seem able too. She was snapped out of her daze when she saw Sookie standing outside her window.

"Honey?" Sookie whispered as she opened the door, "What's wrong?"

Lorelai sighed, "I'm selling the house."

Sookie reared back, "What? What do you mean you're selling your house? You're moving? Does that mean you don't want to work here? Are you going to sell your half of the Inn too?"

Lorelai shook her head, "No. I don't think so...maybe I'll get an apartment nearby. I'll still work here."

Sookie stared at her, "Is this about Rory? I knew you were lying when you said that you weren't upset she was leaving."

Lorelai groaned, "I want her to be happy Sook. And this is her dream...she needs to follow it. I just…" She hiccuped through her tears, "I was lying in my room last night thinking...Luke and I fixed up that damn house to live in together. And now...now I'm alone. And Rory is leaving and it's too damn big for just me...and I'm sad when I'm there. And I don't want to be sad anymore."

"Oh hun…" Sookie said finally understanding where this was coming from.

"And I just had to sing that stupid song the other night and make myself look like a total jackass. And he just stood there...with that smug look on his face. I poured my heart out to him. And I know I said it doesn't mean anything but it does Sookie...it does. But he doesn't feel the same way...and I don't blame him because I totally screwed up." She hiccuped again and wiped at her tears, "But I can't stay in that big house with all these reminders of what could have been...I'm depressed enough. This could damn near kill me…"

"Lorelai…" Sookie said pulling her out of the jeep, "You still love him."

Lorelai groaned, "Of course I still love him Sookie. He was the one...and it all got screwed up. I made a ridiculous mistake by going to Christopher and now Luke hates me and I get it...but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell."

Sookie pulled her in for a hug, "I'm so sorry Lorelai…"

"I went and told him at the Diner…" She said against her shoulder, "Because...technically part of the money should go to him for all the damn work he did there. And he looked mad at me...like I was doing something stupid. But…" Lorelai pulled away and through her hands up, "Doesn't he know that I'm not like him? He's the one that said he's not still hung up...that he isn't sad. But I can't do that...and I can't be surrounded like all the reminders like he can."

"He was mad?" Sookie asked as she rubbed her arm softly.

"He seemed it." Lorelai said with a sniffle, "He said he didn't want the money. But I'm going to give it to him one way or another. It's the right thing to do."

"I just...don't know what to say." Sookie said with a sad smile, "I'm so...so sorry Lorelai."

Lorelai wiped her tears away again, took a deep breath and sighed softly, "It is what it is…"

"Are you sure though? Are you sure about selling the house?" Sookie asked, "You love that house...Rory grew up there. You grew up there…"

Lorelai nodded, "I'm sure. I have to do this Sookie. I just do...Rory knows. We talked about it last night and she understands. Besides...she's going to jet set around the country now. She doesn't need me…"

Sookie shook her head, "She will always need you."

Lorelai smiled weakly, "Yeah maybe…" She sighed, "You know what...I have a million things I need to do. I want to get this going as soon as possible...think it will be okay if I check out for the rest of the day? I just…"

Sookie nodded, "Sure. We'll handle everything here." She watched her best friend get in jeep again, "Is there anything I can do?"

Lorelai smiled sadly, "No. No. I'll be okay...I need to do this Sook. On my own."

Sookie sighed, "Okay...but you'll call if you do need anything right?"

Lorelai nodded, "You're on speed dial." She smiled and began to pull out of the driveway.

She didn't know where she was going but she needed time to think away from it all.

* * *

Back at the Diner, Luke had stomped upstairs to the apartment and threw himself down on the couch completely lost in thought. He couldn't believe she was going to actually sell the house. She loved that damn house. No matter how many things broke in it, it was her little sanctuary. And now she was just going to move...did that mean she was moving out of Stars Hollow? She hadn't mentioned that…

Luke sat up quickly, his head spinning as he did. Would she really do that? Would she leave? Would she sell her half of the Inn to Sookie? Was this it? Was he never going to see her again after this? He couldn't pretend that somewhere deep down in his soul...he never really believed this was it for them. Even at the hospital when he saw the ring on her finger...it didn't feel over. But this...this felt like it was about to end for good.

He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and tried to sort through his thoughts. But there were too many, and he couldn't stop the screaming in his head to do something.

"Luke?" A soft voice called from the doorway.

Luke's head snapped up when he saw his sister, "What are you doing here?"

Liz smiled sadly and stepped into the apartment, "I was coming in to visit...I saw Lorelai running out of here like like her house was on fire…"

Luke snorted, "Nope. It's still standing...but she's selling it."

Liz looked shocked as she sat down beside him, "No way…"

Luke groaned and leaned back against the couch, "She came in to tell me she was selling it and that her lawyer would contact me. She wants me to have part of the profit since we did the renovations together."

"Wow." Liz said turning in her spot to look at him better, "What did you say?"

"I asked her if she was serious." Luke said with a laugh, "I mean she can't be...that house means everything to her."

"Well maybe there are too many memories there now…" Liz said, "I heard Rory was moving away...maybe it's to hard." She watched his expression for a moment, "Maybe it makes her think about you…"

"Liz…" Luke said in a warning tone as he pushed himself off the couch.

"Oh come on Luke! You already know what I think. I told you to talk to her after I heard about the song. She loves you Luke…" She said as she watched him pace.

"Liz...it's complicated." He growled as he stomped back and forth. "To much crap has happened between us."

"Do you really believe you can't work it out?" Liz asked, "I know how you feel about her. How you've always felt about her...is this what you want? You want her to sell the house? What if she moves out of Stars Hollow? You'd be okay with never seeing her again?"

"Of course I wouldn't be!" Luke yelled, "This isn't what I want. None of this is what I wanted."

"Then you need to tell her that!" Liz yelled as she stood up to face him, "How is she supposed to know how you feel Luke? You said it yourself...you waited to damn long to tell her how you felt. And then when you finally did...you still kept things from her. She can't read your mind...you need to tell her."

Luke stopped pacing and turned towards his sister, "I heard you talking to TJ when you stayed here...something about finding the right wormhole. Do you really believe that? Do you really think her and I are supposed to be together?"

Liz smiled and walked over to him, she took his hand in hers, "All I know is that I have never seen you light up the way you do with her. And yes...things got really bad at the end…" She shrugged, "But no relationship is perfect...and you can't just walk away when things get tough. TJ makes me mental half the time...but I still love him. And I choose to make it work. So now you have to make your own choice...what do you want Luke?"

He swallowed hard and let himself finally say the words he had been holding in for months. "I want her."

Liz smiled, "Then go and get her big brother...because this is your last chance. This is your wormhole...don't let it pass by."

Luke took a deep breath and looked around the apartment, "I don't know what to do…"

Liz pushed his arm, "Just go...it will come to you. Go and get her. Don't let her walk away again."

Luke stared at her for a moment and then smiled, leaned forward and kissed her cheek. He grabbed his wallet and his keys and took off out of the apartment. He made a quick stop in the storeroom to pick up the discarded cards she had left on the shelf. He scrambled out to his car and took off without thinking twice.

* * *

Later that evening, Lorelai was sitting in the living room looking at apartments for rent in the newspaper. She figured she might as well make a move on finding somewhere to live. She had circled a few potential places when her cell phone rang distracting her from her thoughts.

She quickly opened it and answered, "Hello?"

 _"Lorelai. Hi! It's Nora from the realtors office your parents recommend. I wanted to call to let you know I got an offer on the house today." She said into the phone.  
_  
Lorelai's heart dropped to her stomach, "What? Already? I didn't think it was officially on the market yet. There isn't even a sign outside…"

 _"I know! But someone came by my office a few hours ago and inquired about it. And he made an amazing offer. More than we were discussing selling it for." Nora said._

"More? I...but who…" Lorelai stopped and felt the blood in her veins begin to pump faster, "Luke…"

 _"Yes! Do you know him? Luke Danes. He said he didn't want me to put it up on the website. He wanted it to be a quick transaction. Of course I needed to clear it with you but I really think you should take it. I can't see you getting a better offer than this."_

Lorelai's head was spinning, "Nora...I'm going to have to call you back."

 _"Okay. I know it's sudden and you have things to consider...but you should really take it. It's an amazing offer!" Nora said._

"I'll call you tomorrow." Lorelai said as she snapped her phone shut.

She stood up quickly, grabbed her coat and made a dash for the front door. She slammed it behind her before she stumbled and hit a mass of hard muscle.

"Whoa...what's the hurry?" Luke asked as he reached out to steady her.

Lorelai reared back and glared up at him. "You!"

Luke's face fell, his romantic gesture was suddenly seeming like his worst idea yet, "Um…"

"You complete bastard!" She said shoving him back making him stumble on the porch, "You dared to put an offer on MY house?"

Luke held a hand up and pointed a finger at her trying to give her a playful smirk which he hoped would break the awkward tension, "To be fair...it was OUR house at one point."

Her eyes narrowed at him, "Seriously? We're going to do this right now? Why Luke? Why on earth would you buy my house? Just wanted to throw another knife at my heart? You want to move in here with April and find some other woman to spend your life with? Fine. Take the damn house. I don't care. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. You're just the guy who pours the coffee and I'm the customer, right? We meant nothing. I was nothing to you."

Luke sighed, "You know that isn't true. And I would never bring another woman into this house."

"What are you doing here Luke? Why are you doing this to me?" She asked as her eyes welled up with tears, "I already feel like a total idiot...between thinking you loved me...and then singing that stupid song the other night. I-"

"Did you mean it?" Luke asked feeling his heart pound in his chest and ignoring everything else she had said, he needed answers, "The song...did you mean it?"

Lorelai paused and held her coat against her chest, "I...I was singing it for Rory."

Luke's jaw tensed and nodded, "Right...but then I walked in. And you kept looking at me...and...I want to know if it meant something. Everyone keeps saying it did...but I need to hear if it did or not from you."

"What does it matters if it did?" Lorelai asked stubbornly as she turned her face away from him, "You don't love me."

He sighed and stepped closer to her, "That's not true…"

Her head snapped up quickly, "Are you sure about that? Because it doesn't feel like you love me...it hasn't felt like that since-"

"Lorelai...I don't want you to move. I don't want you to sell this house and give up all the things you love." Luke said honestly.

"None of it matters anymore...it's all just memories that haunt me...I can't stay here." She said shaking her head as she wiped quickly at her tears.

"It does matter." Luke said stepping in even closer, "It always mattered and it always will. That day when you told me about...about...him." His voice cracked at his words.

Lorelai whimpered and tried to back away, "Luke...don't…"

"It killed me Lorelai. And I ran away...and I tried to pretend that I didn't care anymore. I tried to pretend that I was over you...but I'm not. And I never will be. And the other night hearing you sing that damn song...I knew that it wasn't over. It can't be over." Luke said stubbornly. "It hurt like hell seeing you with him...but it didn't change how I feel about you."

"But...but I married him." She said with a desperate cry, "I didn't want too...but I did because I needed you to be gone. But you aren't gone...you're still there...and Christopher knew that. And Rory and everyone else in this damn town knew that...but we can't Luke. We don't fit…"

Luke quickly grabbed her hand and held it firm as she tried to pull it away, "We do fit. You know we do. We just...we got lost. Everything got so screwed up...and I didn't know how to handle it so I pushed you away. I pushed you too him…"

Lorelai looked down at their joined hands, "Luke it hurts…"

He nodded and pulled her closer, "I know. Believe me I know...I've been walking around in a haze for months. I meant what I said that day...nothing makes sense if you're not there and I'm not sharing it with you."

"But how could you forgive me?" Lorelai asked staring up at him with sad puffy eyes, "How could you just...forget what I did?"

"By remembering that I played a part in this too." Luke said sadly, "I never should have let you walk away that night Lorelai...I should have fought for you. I should have done so many damn things...which is why I am here now. I missed all the warning signs. If this is my last chance than I'm going to take it and make sure I have no regrets."

She whimpered and closed her eyes feeling the weight of her emotions come crashing down on her, "You bought my house?"

Luke shrugged, "Technically I only put an offer in...you have to approve it first." He said with a hopeful smile.

Her eyes snapped open, and something in his smug smile made her angry and her walls went right up again, "Well then I'm not approving it." She said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Luke's face fell and he scoffed as he dropped her hand, "It's way more than you were asking!"

"So?" Lorelai said with a shrug as she leaned against the door behind her, "I don't care about the money. And I don't want YOU living in MY house."

Luke groaned and threw his hands up in frustration, "My God you are the most frustrating woman in the universe! Did you know that? All the damn work it takes to deal with you! Liz says to do something so I do it! I make an offer on the house as a response to the damn song but now you won't take the damn offer!"

"Your response to the song is to buy a house? Bit of a jump don't you think?" Lorelai said with a exasperated look.

"I was letting my actions speak!" Luke yelled angrily back at her.

"Because it's the romantic way to do things damn it?" Lorelai said with a soft smile.

Luke looked over at her and shook his head sadly, "Lorelai…"

"What exactly are you going to do with my house, Luke?" Lorelai asked curiously.

"I was buying the house to show that I want to be with you and then you wouldn't move out!" Luke yelled feeling his frustration level rise with each passing second. "I thought that was sort of implied!"

"Well sometimes a girl needs words Luke...not just actions." She said stubbornly.

Luke's eyes narrowed at her, "What words do you want Lorelai?"

She opened her mouth to speak but she shook her head, "It doesn't matter."

"Stop saying that." Luke said with gritted teeth, "It does matter. What do you want me to say?"

She rolled her eyes, "Luke it doesn't count if I have to feed you the lines…"

He ran a tired hand over his face, "Fine. You don't want me to buy the damn house then I won't. Move away Lorelai...run from your problems just like you always do."

She gasped at him, "I'm no better than you Luke! You completely ignore things! You aren't the good guy in this situation!"

He hung his head sadly, "No. Maybe I'm not...but at least I tried." He stepped away from her, "But I see that it's no use now…" He turned on his heel and walked back towards his truck.

Her head was screaming at her to say something but she felt angry and hurt more than anything else. So she stubbornly turned around to walk back into the house. Her hand hit the doorknob and she tried to turn it slowly and almost fell backwards when she realized it was locked.

"Seriously!?" She yelled as she reached down to lift the turtle up, she groaned when she remembered she had taken the spare key out awhile back. "Damn it…"

She was just about to turn around to walk to Babette's when she felt him push past her and heard the sound of a key in a lock. Her face showed shock as she turned to look at him, he pushed the door open for her and then just gave her a look.

She waited a moment before whispering, "You still have the key?"

He shrugged and reached down to take it off, "I couldn't seem to get rid of it…"

"Luke…" She whispered softly as his fingers nimbly worked the key off the ring, "I-"

"Here." He said taking the key and placing it in the palm of her hand before closing her fingers around the cool metal, "I hope you find happiness Lorelai...that's all I ever wanted for you."

She stood in shock as he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and then turned away to go back to the truck. Her feet were glued to the porch until she heard the engine roar to life and pull away. After a moment she walked into the house, shut the door and then slid down to the floor. Paul Anka pitter pattered into the hallway and up to her side, she sighed and pulled him closer to drown out the sound of her tears.

* * *

The following evening, Luke was in the storeroom emptying boxes from his latest shipmen. His body felt like it was working on it's own. He had barely slept the night before but he had forced himself to come to work. He had spent most of the morning hiding in back not wanting to get any sympathy looks from his customers.

He had seen Babette running back into the house as he pulled out of Lorelai's driveway last night. He was sure their argument had already been spread across the town like a wildfire. He sighed and tossed a can of peas across the room before sliding down to the floor with a groan.

He had just closed his eyes when he heard his cell phone ringing. He was about to ignore it but decided to answer incase it was April. "Hello?"

 _"Hello Mr. Danes? This is Nora Burke. We talked yesterday in regards to a house you wanted to buy." She said into the phone._

Luke's heart dropped to his stomach, "Oh...yeah. Um...I actually don't think that is going to work out anymore."

 _"Well that's okay. Because I was calling to tell you that-" She started._

"She denied my offer. I know." Luke said with a sad smile, "Trust me I know…"

 _"Well actually I was going to say that the seller has decided not to sell the house after all." She said gently, "Sometimes people have a change of heart…"_

Luke sat up quickly, "She's not selling the house?"

 _"Nope. It looks like Miss. Gilmore has decided to stay in Stars Hollow after all. I'm sorry to disappoint you. But if you are still interested in another property I'd be happy to hel-"_

"No. That won't be necessary. But thank you for calling." He snapped the phone shut and pushed himself off the floor.

He was about to walk out of the storeroom when the door opened and he bumped into a soft, warm body and the scent of pomegranate shampoo filled his senses, "Oh!" He heard her gasp.

Luke grabbed her shoulders to steady her, "Lorelai…"

She glanced up at him sheepishly, "We really have to stop doing that…"

He swallowed hard and studied her face for any sign that would clue him into what she was currently thinking, "You aren't selling the house?"

Lorelai smiled softly, "I see Nora already called you then?"

He stepped back just enough to take in her appearance, she had a dark pair of jeans on, flip flops and a worn grey t-shirt. Her hair was a mass of curls around her head which she said she hated and she had no makeup on. And yet...she looked like the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He watched as the emotions coursed through her again, "Look Luke I-"

"Why aren't you selling it?" He asked quickly as he looked deep in her eyes, "Why aren't you selling your house?"

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and then shrugged before looking down at the floor, "I love that house…"

"I know you do." He whispered, "Which is why I couldn't understand why you would want to sell it…"

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, "Because I don't like being there alone...it makes me think about how you were supposed to be there with me."

He stood up a little straighter and stepped closer to her, "Lorelai…"

"I love you." She said as she lifted her face to look at him, her eyes were full of tears, "I love you Luke. And I don't know how not to love you...but you hurt me. And I hurt you...and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that. And it would be so much easier to just walk away…"

He reached a hand out to touch her face gently, "I love you too…"

"I don't know what to do…" She whispered, "But I don't want to leave...not again…"

He breathed her in and pulled her close wanting to kiss her, but a clatter from the Diner caught him off guard. He saw the disappointment wash over Lorelai's face and he quickly steered her further into the Store Room. He closed the door behind him and then plunged his hands into her hair and pulled her against him. He heard her gasp but he smothered it with his lips as her hands quickly grabbed onto his forearms.

After so long apart, it felt like coming home to Luke. He groaned and pulled her even closer before he spun her around and pressed her into the hard door. She whimpered slightly as he braced his hands on either side of her head and his lips went down to her neck. She felt dazed and tried to bring herself back to reality. But the feel of his lips on her skin, and the scent that was so Luke filled her nostrils and she was lost in him.

"Oh God…" She moaned as he bit down on her collarbone which always drive her nuts, especially when he traced it with his tongue afterwards which he was doing now. "Wait...Luke...wait…"

He shook his head and frantically leaned up to kiss her again, "No. No more waiting Lorelai...no more. We've wasted so much damn time…"

"But I-" She tried to push him away but he grabbed her hands and placed them against his chest instead.

"I have missed you in ways I didn't know it was possible to miss someone." He said honestly desperately wanting to make her understand, "And I can't go another day without you...are those the words you needed me to say Lorelai? Is that what you need to hear? Because it's true. All of it. I'm an idiot for letting you go...and I don't want to make that mistake again…"

She felt the tears pouring down her face now but she didn't care, "I feel like I can't breath...I can't function. Nothing makes sense...I feel so trapped in my own head."

He wiped at her tears gently, "I know the feeling…"

"You have no idea how much I hate myself for what I did." She sobbed softly, "I didn't want too...I barely even remember it. But I did it and I hurt you so bad...and that kills me. And then he kept pushing me to marry him...and I was so alone. And I thought...I thought if I said yes it would somehow make losing you better but it didn't. And I feel like a fool Luke...I feel so stupid."

He shook his head and leaned in to kiss her again, "We're both stupid...and stubborn. But no more…"

She continued to cry as he held her close, "I'm sorry I was so mean to you last night..I was just scared. I'm still scared...but then I saw you still had the key…"

He smiled softly at her, "I tried to get rid of it...I tried to get rid of a lot of things but I couldn't."

She smirked, "You're braver than me. I made Rory throw most of the things that made me think of you away…"

He shook his head and gave her a small smile, "She didn't throw them away…"

She stared up at him with a confused expression, "What do you mean?"

Luke cocked his head upwards, "She left it outside my apartment door one day with a note…"

"A note?" Lorelai asked timidly.

Luke smiled, reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. She watched with interest and fear as he pulled out both the faded horoscope and a tiny note with Rory's hand writing on it. He handed it to her and read it outloud, "For when you both stop being so stupid…" She laughed, "Kid graduates from Yale and that's the best she can come up with? What the hell were my parents paying for?"

He chuckled, "Lorelai…"

She sighed sadly and let her her hand drop to her side, "We were stupid. So stupid…"

"I agree." He whispered as he reached out to play with one of her curls, "I should have seen you slipping away. I know I need to work on how I handle things...I get so stuck on one thing at a time. But I need to be able to multitask...not that I think our relationship is work or anything but-"

She laughed, "That's not what you said last night...you said I was a lot of work."

Luke rolled his eyes, "Okay so it's a little bit of work...but it's worth it. Most things in life that are worth it require work right?"

She nodded slowly, "I guess…" She paused for a moment "But...it wasn't all you Luke. I should have told you sooner...about how I was feeling. But I was trying really hard to make things easier for you...but it all got so complicated. And I'm so sorry...I mean showing up the way I did and giving you an ultimatum...so stupid."

"You needed to know if I was still in. I know that now." He said honestly, "But I never should have let you just walk away...I should have gone after you and talked it through."

"Why didn't you?" Lorelai asked curiously, "Not that it matters now...but I kind of want to know why…kind of need to know why…"

Luke sighed and pulled away a little, "I don't know…"

She pouted, "You don't know? That's it?"

He grimaced, "I just...assumed you'd still be there when I got my head around what was going on…" He paused, "Which is ridiculous...I don't know why I thought you'd wait around forever."

She sighed, "Well...I made you do your fair share of waiting too…lots and lots of waiting."

"Which is why I don't want to wait anymore." Luke whispered softly, "I don't want to wait to make us happen…"

She sighed, "Luke...we can't just jump back into the way things were before. As much as I'd love too...we just can't."

He stared at her for a moment, "I guess you're right…"

She bit her lip and then reached into her pocket, "But that doesn't mean that we can't...be together. That we can't...try harder." She shrugged and lifted a shiny object out to him.

He looked down and couldn't help but smile when he saw the key in her hand, "My key?"

She smiled softly and then felt the tears welling up in her eyes, "Come home Luke…"

He let out a shaky breath and took the key from her hand and put it in his pocket. He stepped all the way up to her, wrapped a hand in her curls and pulled her flush against his body, "I never should have left…"

She smiled up at him as her hands gripped his hips tightly, "You gonna kiss me now?" He just nodded, "So incredibly predictable…"

He chuckled as his lips crashed against hers and she pulled him as close as physically possible. He breathed her in as he pushed her against the door again and reveled in the feel of kissing Lorelai Gilmore again. It was his favorite feeling...kissing her...being with her in any form was his favorite thing and he had almost lost this forever.

"So stupid…" He whispered against her lips.

"Hmm?" She asked as she started to prep kisses from his lips to his cheek and then to nibble at his ear, "What did you say?"

"That I'm stupid...for thinking I could ever live without this." He whispered as she traced her tongue along the underside of his jaw. "That I could live without you…"

She pulled away slowly and smiled gently up at him, "I can't live without you…and I don't want too. So...we have to make this work Luke. No matter what it takes...we have to fight for this. Fight for us…"

He nuzzled the side of her face and whispered, "I'll never let you go again…"

"Thank God…" She whispered back as she pulled his face back to hers and crashed her lips against his.

They were exactly where they were supposed to be. And this time...they wouldn't miss the warning signs. They'd fight for each other. Fight for what they wanted. And make sure they never stopped talking. They were finally home...

* * *

 **Hoped you liked it :) Working on the next chapter for "Searchlight" as well. I will try and post it either tomorrow or Monday! Thanks!**


	17. Can't Help Falling In Love

Hey guys! Chapter 17 is another rated M chapter so it is under the "Luke and Lorelai: A Playlist (The rated M chapters!) in the M section. It is based around Wedding Bell Blues after Luke takes off after the fight with Christopher. Only this time he comes back and overhears Lorelai admit something to Christopher he desperately needs to hear. Based on the song "Can't Help Falling in Love" originally by Elvis Presley but this version that inspired me is sung by Haley Reinhart. So beautiful :) Hope you enjoy!


	18. Do You Love Me?

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been awhile since I have updated this but with my other stories and school I have been so busy. But anyway here is the next chapter. This takes place during season 5 in Jews and Chinese Food after the play. I happened to watch this episode the other day and it got me thinking. Based on the song from the play "Do you love me?"  
** **Hope you enjoy :)  
**  
 _ **(Tevye)**_  
 ** _Golde..._**

 ** _Do you love me?_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _Do I what?_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _Do you love me?_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _Do I love you?_**  
 ** _With our daughters getting married_**  
 ** _And this trouble in the town_**  
 ** _You're upset, you're worn out_**  
 ** _Go inside, go lie down!_**  
 ** _Maybe it's indigestion_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _"Golde I'm asking you a question..."_**

 ** _Do you love me?_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _You're a fool_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _"I know..."_**

 ** _But do you love me?_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _Do I love you?_**  
 ** _For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes_**  
 ** _Cooked your meals, cleaned your house_**  
 ** _Given you children, milked the cow_**  
 ** _After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _Golde, The first time I met you_**  
 ** _Was on our wedding day_**  
 ** _I was scared_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _I was shy_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _I was nervous_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _So was I_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _But my father and my mother_**  
 ** _Said we'd learn to love each other_**  
 ** _And now I'm asking, Golde_**  
 ** _Do you love me?_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _I'm your wife_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _"I know..."_**  
 ** _But do you love me?_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _Do I love him?_**  
 ** _For twenty-five years I've lived with him_**  
 ** _Fought with him, starved with him_**  
 ** _Twenty-five years my bed is his_**  
 ** _If that's not love, what is?_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _Then you love me?_**

 ** _(Golde)_**  
 ** _I suppose I do_**

 ** _(Tevye)_**  
 ** _And I suppose I love you too_**

 ** _(Both)_**  
 ** _It doesn't change a thing_**  
 ** _But even so_**  
 ** _After twenty-five years_**  
 ** _It's nice to know_**

* * *

Lorelai stood backstage packing up the costumes and materials she had brought from her house. She felt like her heart was going to burst from her chest. She had been closer to Luke in the last few hours than she had in weeks. Standing beside him while Kirk and the other actress belted out "Do you Love me?" had almost sent her into a tailspin.

Why had she never told him that she loved him? Sure that was a huge step for her. She couldn't remember ever telling a man that she loved them...not even Max...the man she was supposed to marry. She vaguely recalled drunkenly telling Christopher she loved him before Rory was conceived but she knew now that was only puppy love.

What she felt for Luke Danes was was so much more than puppy love. She had visualized herself in a wedding dress standing beside him at the altar and committing her life to him. But then it had all gone to hell. She had kept something major from him and then Christopher had sealed the deal in their relationships demise. She sighed and picked up her boxes and bags and went to walk out of the school towards her car. She most definitely needed to wallow tonight…

She was almost out of the auditorium when she heard a high pitched laugh. She stopped, turned to her right and saw Crazy Carrie practically throwing herself at Luke while he packed up his tools. She cringed...she knew Luke didn't want her. In fact she knew that Luke couldn't stand Carrie...but to see him with any woman that wasn't her at the moment broke her heart even more. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she saw Carrie place a hand on his bicep...and she tried to remember the last time she was wrapped up safely in his arms.

"Lorelai?" A soft voice called from beside her.

She snapped out of her daze and tried to smile when she saw Lulu, "Oh. Hi! I was just heading out...did you need something else?"

Lulu shook her head and glanced towards Luke and Carrie, "No...I just wanted to see if you needed help carrying things to your car."

Lorelai shook her head quickly, "Oh no. I'm fine. Thanks though."

Lulu watched Lorelai turned back to Luke with pain and longing in her eyes, "I appreciate that you helped us with the costumes…"

Lorelai didn't turn back towards Lulu, her eyes seemed locked on the man that got away, "No problem Lulu. I was happy to do it. The kids did great...Kirk too." She glanced towards her quickly and smiled, "He's talented…" She turned back to Luke.

Lulu was quiet for a moment, "Did you get to talk to him?" She asked.

"Who? Kirk?" Lorelai shook her head, "No...he was to nervous about missing his cues. And then after the show he went to the Ice Cream Shoppe to celebrate with the kids. I'll have to catch him another time to let him know how well he did…"

"I meant Luke…" Lulu said with a soft smile.

Lorelai's head snapped back towards Lulu, "Oh...um. No not really. We were both pretty busy." Another laugh from Carrie made her turn back towards the two people in the auditorium.

"Maybe you should try…" Lulu said with a shrug.

Lorelai smiled sadly and shook her head, "No...there's no use. He doesn't want to talk to me and I don't really blame him." She took a deep breath and lifted the items in her hands, "I should get these in the jeep. I'll see you later?"

Lulu nodded slowly, "Sure...thanks again."

"Anytime." Lorelai said with a smile as she began to walk away.

She tried to ignore the laughter coming from Carrie. She tried to block out the deep voice of Luke's that sent shivers down her spine. She pushed the heavy doors of the school open and began walk back to her jeep. Her eyes were full of tears and everything was a bit of a blur. She could barely see two feet in front of her and didn't notice the curb…

She tripped sending boxes and bags flying in all directions. She yelped and fell to the ground feeling her jeans at her knee split open, the warm feel of blood began to trickle down her leg and she groaned.

"Damn it…" She said cried as she turned and sat on the curb, she pulled her knee up and she tried to assess the damage.

"Lorelai?" A familiar voice called out to her, "Are you okay?"

She glanced up and grimaced when she saw him standing there, "I'm fine Luke. I've had many a skinned knee. I'll survive."

She heard him put his tool box down and slip his keys into his pocket, "Want me to take a look?"

He bent down in front of her and she cringed when he reached out to her, "Don't touch me." She said in a harsher tone than she meant.

He lifted his hands in retreat and looked at her, surprised by the anger in her voice. "Okay…I was just trying to help."

She had taken it this far and she wasn't about to let him see her cry. He had already seen her breakdown when she had called him and begged him to come to her house. He had seen how weak she was and she wouldn't allow that again. She had to be strong. She had to prove that she didn't need Luke Danes to take care of her.

She pushed herself up off the curve and began to collect her things trying to ignore the ache in her knee. She watched him stand up slowly and start to reach for garment bags lying around the pavement.

"I got it Luke. Go home." She said as she pulled a bag out of his hand and tossing it into the jeep.

He sighed, "I'm just trying to he-"

"I don't need your help." She said as she continued to refuse to look at him as she started to shove items into the car.

"What's your problem?" Luke asked suddenly losing his patience.

"I don't have a problem." She said picking up the last box, "I just want to go home. I'm sure you do too. I know what an inconvenience helping out the kids was to you."

He huffed, "Lorelai what are you-"

"You made it pretty clear that you you had much better things to do than build a few sets." She said slamming the passenger side door. "Well now it's over so you can go home and carry on with your life now. See you around."

She started to walk around the jeep to the driver side, she had just opened the door when she heard it close again.

"What the hell?" She asked as she turned to see him standing behind her with a fuming expression on his face.

He glared at her, "I showed up at this stupid thing because YOU signed me up for it. I did exactly what I was supposed to do because once again I do whatever Lorelai Gilmore wants."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Lorelai wants me to paint the Diner so yes! I'll paint the Diner!" Luke said throwing his hands up in the air, "Lorelai says I need to buy an apartment...hell I'll buy a whole building if it makes her happy!" He screamed.

She swallowed hard and crossed her arms over her chest, "Luke-"

"Buy my basket Luke! Let me use your truck Luke! Teach me how to fish so I can throw myself at yet another loser Luke!" He screamed.

"Hey!" She screamed back at him, "I never-"

"Luke I need 30 thousand dollars to make my dream come true! Let me sign on the dotted line and once again prove I'm whipped!" He growled.

She stepped back and gasped, she walked back to the jeep and he watched her for a moment. She didn't' get in like he expected, instead she reached for her purse and ripped it open. He watched her pull out a checkbook and he groaned, "Lorelai-"

"You want your money back Luke? Fine! I don't give a damn!" She scribbled her name on the check and shoved it to his chest, "Now you're off the hook! You never have to see me again!"

She turned to get back in the truck when he whispered, "But that's the problem...I want to see you again!"

She sighed and turned back to him, and watched as he crumpled up the check"What are you babbling about now?"

"I want to see you all the time." He said stepping closer to her, "I NEED to see you. Nothing makes sense when you aren't around. Since the moment I met you I have all of a sudden become a fool for you . I'd do anything you asked me too if I thought it would make you look at me as more than just the Diner guy."

She frowned, "Luke...you were always more than just the Diner guy and you know that."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Yeah? How was I supposed to know that Lorelai? I watched you date every guy out there except for me for eight years. I stood there patiently waiting for you to notice me but you never did."

"I did notice you!" She said impatiently. "You're the one that never noticed me!"

"Bullshit!" Luke said throwing his hands up again, "That's total bullshit Lorelai! How could I not notice you? You never shut up long enough for anyone else to speak. Trust me I knew you were always there."

She glared at him again, "Well then your life must be nice and peacefully now without my loud mouth interrupting every second of your day."

She turned again and she heard him groan again, "It's too quiet and I hate it."

She swung around and glared at him again, "What the hell do you want from me Luke?" He was surprised when she stepped up to him and pushed his chest back, "I'm annoying as hell but you want to see me. I never shut up but your life is to quiet when I'm not there. What do you want?"

"I want you." He said quickly, "That's what I want Lorelai. I want YOU. But I can't have you."

It was her turn to groan, "Now I'm calling your bullshit! You had me Luke! You had all of me and you let me go!"

His eyes narrowed slightly, "I didn't let you go."

"Yes you did! You said you couldn't be in a relationship with me anymore." She said feeling her frustration grow with each passing second. "You ended it. I was trying to fix it and you ended it."

"Because you lied to me!" He said angrily pointing a finger at her, "You lied to me about that night with Christopher."

She sighed and nodded her head, "Yes. I did. Okay? I know now that I was wrong. I wanted to tell you but-"

"But what?" Luke asked stepping closer to her, "You had plenty of time to tell me. Why did you choose that exact moment to say it? Because you figured he would say something about it?"

She growled and put a hand in her hair, "I don't know okay? I was going to tell you the morning after but Rory stopped me and then I got confused. I felt like I did something wrong but I didn't. Nothing happened. I was just trying to be supportive-"

"Your idea of being supportive is staying up all night and getting drunk on tequila with your ex and the father of your daughter?" He said with a raised eyebrow, "You could have sent the guy a nice fruit basket with a note sending your sympathy."

She pursed her lips, "I didn't intend to get drunk...it just happened."

He nodded slowly, "Right. Got it. Any chance to be with the perfect Christopher and you'll jump on it. I got the memo loud and clear."

"It wasn't like that!" Lorelai yelled, "I just...I felt weird when my parents told me about his Dad. I knew them for so long and they hated me. God they hated me." She said shaking her head, "But I knew that Christopher was probably a mess so I went there...but I don't think that was wrong of me. Not telling you was wrong...I know that. But the other part wasn't."

"Fine nothing happened." He said with a shrug, "But you still hid it."

She nodded, "Rory made me think I did something wrong. And then I was afraid you'd get upset and obviously I was right about what your reaction would be. So I just thought it would be easier-"

"To lie to me. Your boyfriend." He said pointing a finger at his chest.

She grimaced slightly and then felt anger bubble up in her again, "Yeah well you lied to me too Luke! So don't act so innocent!"

He laughed angrily, "I lied to you? When the hell did I lie to you Lorelai? Please enlighten me."

She pushed him back again, "You said you were all in and that was a huge lie!"

His eyes widened, "How do you figure it was a lie? I meant it when I said it."

"Luke being all in means being ALL in. Not running away when things get tough. It means putting your big boy pants on and working through things instead of breaking up with me." She said through clenched teeth, her eyes started to water and she could feel herself breaking, "I let you in. I thought I could trust you. I didn't think you'd give up on me. I didn't think you'd walk away but you did. Just like every other loser I let into my life." She said with an eyeroll using his words from earlier. "And I'm the idiot that fell for it."

He let his shoulders slump slightly, "Lorelai…"

"I let myself fall in love with you." She said staring directly at him, she saw his eyes widen at her words, "I let myself think I'd finally have that future I always wanted. But you didn't want it. You didn't care about me enough to try and work through it. So yes Luke I hid something from you...but at least I tried to fix it. At least I didn't walk away when it got hard."

She turned and started to walk towards her car, "You loved me?"

He had said it so softly she wasn't sure she heard him correctly, she turned to look at him as she wiped at her tears, "What?"

He took one step and then stopped again before whispering again, "You loved me?"

She shook her head, "No not loved…"

He inhaled sharply and felt like the wind had been knocked from his sails, "Oh…"

"I said love. Not loved. Loved would be past tense." She said as she rubbed at her eyes, "But unlucky for me I can't seem to shake you so I'm stuck here loving you and there's nothing I can do about it because you don't want me anymore. And I-"

Her words were cut off as soon as his lips crashed into hers. She gasped and stumbled back but his grip on her hips held her up straight. He pulled her all the way against him and traced her bottom lip with his tongue begging for entrance but she denied him as she pulled away.

"What are you doing?" She asked wiping at her mouth as if he had disgusted her.

He tried to catch his breath, "Lorelai-"

"You can't do that! You can't just kiss me like that and then go back home! That isn't fair!" She said as the tears started to spill out of the corner of her eyes, "You don't get to listen to me pour my heart out to you and expect a kiss to just be-"

"Would you stop talking?" He asked feeling frustrated, "Maybe I could explain myself if you did."

She stepped back, "Well maybe I don't want to hear what you have to say!"

He threw his head back and ran a hand over his face, "Do you know the amount of work it takes to keep up with you?"

She crossed her arms stubbornly, "Well you should be glad you don't have to put up with me anymore then!"

She turned to step back to the jeep and he once again spun her around, "Don't." He said watching as she opened her mouth to respond, she had anger in his eyes but he shook his head, "It's my turn to talk now."

She huffed and leaned against the side of the jeep, "Fine. Make it quick. I want to go home."

He rolled his eyes, "To what? Your new special alone space?" He grimaced slightly and the anger burned in her eyes again, "Sorry. I'm sorry! Okay? Forget I said that. I'm still a little angry."

She snorted softly, "A little?"

He sighed and shrugged, "Well what do you expect Lorelai? Here I was standing at this ridiculous party that I didn't even want to be at...but I went because you asked me too. And you were there in this beautiful dress and I kept thinking she's here with me...she's mine. And then all of a sudden you were telling me about Christopher and I was trying to digest it and then he was there telling me you guys were meant to be together-"

"But Luke-" She said stepping towards him.

He put his hand up, "I'm not finished." He saw her swallow hard and step back again, "Do have any idea how difficult it was to hear another man tell me that he was supposed to be with the woman I love? Do you know how many years of insecurities that brought up for me?"

She sighed and stepped towards him again, "I'm sorry. Christopher is an idiot. He has always had a way at blowing things up at the perfect moment." She said with an eye roll, "It's an art form for him. In fact he should medal in it. He'd get gold in the Olympics every day time!"

Luke couldn't help but laugh, not only was she babbling but she had glossed over the fact that he had told her he loved her, "Lorelai…"

"But the thing is that Christopher is just Rory's father to me..he's always going to be in my life yes. But he's not the man I lo-" She stopped suddenly and then felt herself stumble back until she hit the jeep's side again, "Wait…"

He smiled as he saw the wheels turning in her head, "What?"

"Did you say you loved me?" She asked very slowly.

He shook his head and she gasped, "Not loved…" He smirked at her, "Love. I love you Lorelai."

She let out a puff of air and let her arms fall to her sides, "You love me."

It wasn't a question, but a statement, a declaration and he nodded slowly and stepped towards her again, "Yeah...and from what I understand you love me too."

Her breath started to quicken and she put a hand out to stop him before he got to close, "Don't."

He put his hand over hers on his chest, "Lorelai…"

"Don't…" She said shaking her head back and forth, "Don't kiss me. Don't tell me you love me. Don't tell me you want to be with me. Don't tell me your all in because you aren't."

He frowned and squeezed her hand slightly, "Lorelai…"

"My life is always going to be complicated Luke. It's never going to be easy and that bothers you. I see that now. You may think you want to be in...but you can't be. And I can't pretend that you are because it will kill me when it ends again." She wasn't looking at him but he could see the tears cascading down her rosy cheeks.

"Hey…" He whispered as he reached his other hand to lift her chin, "Look at me…"

She closed her eyes quickly, "I can't Luke...I can't. It hurts to damn much."

He waited a moment and then tried to push forward, her hand holding him at a distance fell and she braced herself. His lips found hers again and she was up against the jeep with nowhere to go this time. This kiss wasn't as fast or hard as the previous one. It was slow and passionate...and a bit sloppy. She was crying and he wanted to kiss her until she stopped. But then the sobs grew and she turned her head away from him.

He sighed and pulled her up against his hard chest. She seemed to melt into him. Her forehead rested in the crook of his neck as she cried harder than he had ever seen her cry. All he could do was wrap his arms tightly around her and rock her back and forth.

"It's okay…" He whispered softly rubbing soft circles against her back.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled into his chest, "I'm so sorry. So sorry. Luke I'm-"

"Shh…" He whispered squeezing her tightly to him, "It's okay...we're fi-"

She pulled away and pushed him back, "I need to go home."

He frowned as he watched her grab the door handle again, "What?"

She whipped the door open so fast he couldn't even react fast enough, "I have to go." She said slamming the door shut.

She was pulling away before he registered what was happening. One minute she was wrapped in his arms and he was holding her where she belonged. And now she was driving away from him which was the last thing he wanted. He growled, turned around, picked up his tool box and stomped towards his truck.

He slid the key into the ignition and whipped out of the parking lot as fast as he could. He drove back towards her house, the one place he had avoided as much as possible for the last few months. He parked behind her jeep and walked up the path towards the front door, for once he was happy she didn't lock her door.

He heard her crying from upstairs, he sighed and walked through the familiar house. He walked up the steps and grimaced when he saw a pair of ripped jeans lying on the hallway floor. He walked towards the bathroom and found her sitting on the tile floor, leaning against the tub. She had her bare legs pulled up against her chest as she dabbed at her bloody knee.

"Lorelai…" He whispered as he walked into the bathroom.

Her head snapped up to look at him and she sighed, "Luke what are you doing here? Go home!"

"You should lock your doors if you don't want unexpected visitors." He said with a frown.

She rolled her eyes and started to dab at her knee again, "Ha ha!"

He sighed and sat down on the far end of the tub away from her, "You want a bandaid?"

"Seriously Luke I'm not wearing any pants right now...can you just go?" She growled at him.

He smirked, "Nothing I haven't seen before…"

She tossed the bloody paper towel into the trash beside her, "Get out."

He watched her scramble up off the ground, the fact that she was wearing one of his favorite pair of panties didn't go unnoticed by him. She walked confidently passed him towards her bedroom and slammed the door shut. He huffed, pushed himself up off the tub and stomped back towards her bedroom.

She gasped and grabbed a blanket now because she had already discarded her top, "I said get out!"

"We aren't done talking!" Luke said pulling the pillow away and throwing it on the bed.

Her eyes turned from shock to fury, "Luke if you don't leave this second I swear I will-"

"You will what?" Luke said asking standing hands on hips. "What Lorelai? What are you going to do?"

She glared at him and grabbed a t-shirt from the pile of clean clothes on her dresser. She slipped it on over her torso and grabbed a pair of pants to slip on over her legs. "What do I need to do to make you leave?"

"You can start by explaining to me what the hell happened before you came home." Luke said, "We both just admitted we loved each other. I'm holding you one minute and then all of a sudden you couldn't leave my side fast enough."

She plopped down on the bed and shrugged, "I wanted to go home so here I am. I answered your question…" She pointed towards the door, "Now go!"

He ignored her and sat down beside her, "Stop being ridiculous."

She looked down at her leg and noticed she was bleeding through her pants again, "Son of a bitch…"

She went to get up but he stopped her and walked back towards the bathroom. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she wanted to run away again. But this time she had nowhere to go. He was in her house.

She watched as he walked back into the room with her makeshift first aid kit. She was quiet as he knelt down on the ground and reached for the bottom of her pant leg. She flinched and looked at him with a grimace but he ignored her. He pushed the fabric up and reached into the kit for a bandaid.

"Luke…" She whispered softly.

He ignored her words and pushed on, "Still only have the Barbie bandaids huh?"

She smiled at the memory of placing the barbie bandaid on his hand so long ago, "Why did you marry Nicole?"

He cleared his throat nervously, "Well wasn't expecting that question…"

She pushed her hair back and sighed, "Sorry...I don't know why I asked that." He didn't say anything as he started to clean up, more words tumbled from her mouth, "Did you love her?"

He laughed a little as he pushed himself off the ground, "Not at all."

She watched him close the kit and place it on the dresser. He went towards the bathroom and washed his hands before coming back to her room. She was in the same spot he had left her, but instead of sitting beside her he leaned against the dresser across from her.

"You didn't love her…" Lorelai whispered slowly.

He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head, "Nope."

"But...you love me?" She asked softly.

He let out a breath and lifted his head just enough to look at her, "Yup."

She pulled her legs up onto the bed and ignored the ache of the pain on her knee. She suddenly felt cold and wanted to curl into a ball and cry but she couldn't. Luke studied her for a moment and tried to read the expression on her face. He wanted to know what was running around in her head.

She took a moment before whispering, "You shouldn't have balled up that check...it wouldn't have bounced."

He couldn't help but start to laugh, "Are you serious right now? That's what you want to talk about?"

She smirked and wiped at her tears as they started to fall again, "It was the only slightly safe topic I could think of…"

He sighed and walked over to the bed, he sat down beside her, "I don't want your money."

She frowned, "You said you were whipped...that you did everything I asked you to do."

He grimaced, "I didn't mean it like that...I was just frustrated and upset. I would give you the money again if you asked me too. I was happy to do it…"

"What about all the other crazy stuff I've made you do?" She asked softly.

He sighed and turned to look at her gently, "I'd do all that again to…"

She glanced down at her hands in her lap, "Luke…"

"Why'd you take off?" He asked in a whisper, "Back there we were just…" He sighed and shrugged, "Why'd you run?"

She whimpered softly and brushed at more tears as they fell, "Because I was scared…"

He tentatively reached a hand out to place over her arm, "Of me?"

She shook her head and tried not to pull her hand away from his, "No...of how you make me feel."

Luke nodded slowly, "I think I understand that...I get scared of my feelings for you too."

She lifted her lead to stare at him, "What are we supposed to do now?"

Luke sighed and kicked off his shoes. She watched him curiously as he peeled off his flannel and lay back on the opposite side of the bed from her. He put his arm out and used his other hand to pat his chest signaling her to lay down with him. She hesitated only for a moment before lying down, she rested her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm tightly around her.

He rubbed her arm gently and breathed in the familiar scent of her. He had missed her so much that he was pretty sure he'd like to never leave this spot again. "Luke?" She whispered softly.

He sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "All I know right now is that I want to be here...I want to be with you."

She lifted her head only so she could rest her chin on his chest, "But what about-"

He shook his head, "Look...I was angry. Alright? I was pissed when I realized you hid that from me. I felt totally put on the spot...and then he was standing there saying all that crap and I just snapped. I needed space…"

She swallowed hard, "Sookie said if we had to much space we'd miss our middle...and I didn't want that. I didn't want to wait another 8 years to fix it…"

He glanced over at her slightly, "I don't like when people push me to make decisions...I'm a thinker."

She smiled softly, "Well I'm a doer." She paused and chuckled slightly, "Wow that was dirty…" She lowered her head and pressed it against his t-shirt and started to laugh.

He couldn't' help but join in on her laughter, "God I missed you…"

She bit her lip as her laughter subsided and the tears started up again, her voice cracked as she spoke. "Luke…"

"Hey…" He pushed her back so that he could hover over her, she put her hands over her face to hide her tears, "Don't...don't cry. Please don't cry anymore…"

She shook her head and continued to keep her face hidden, "I can't help it. It hurts Luke. It hurts so damn much."

He sighed and pressed his forehead to her chest, "I know…"

She lowered her hands to rest on his head, "I've never loved anyone Luke…" He didn't lift his head to look at her so she pressed on, "I mean I love Rory...but I meant I've never loved a man before…"

He let out a breath and lifted his head to rest his chin on stomach, "I've never loved a woman before…"

She pushed his hair back from his face, "Not Nicole…"

He shook his head, "Not Nicole…"

"Not Rachel?" She asked curiously.

He cleared his throat slowly, "I think I thought I did at one point...years ago. But it never felt like this."

"What does that mean? Like what?" She asked as she continued to massage her head.

"This intense…" He whispered as his eyes began to flutter close, "I've never needed someone...wanted someone the way I want you. And when I felt you slipping away at the wedding I just ran before you could see how badly it was hurting me. I didn't want you to see me like that...I wanted to look strong. I wanted to pretend for a moment that you didn't have that power over me."

She traced the line across his forehead and whispered, "Luke?"

His eyes opened slowly and he stared at her for a moment, "Yeah?"

"I love you." She whispered, she watched a small smile appear on his lips, "I love you and I don't think anything is going to change that. I think…" She bit her lip nervously before pushing on, "I think that we could be good together if we weren't both so…"

"Stubborn? Stupid? Irrational?" He said with a chuckle, "Should I go on?"

She smiled and shook her head, "No. I think that about covered it…"

He smiled, pushed himself up to hover over her, "Well...I love you too. And I know nothing is going to change that...I've been pining for 8 years remember? If nothing changed in that time I don't think it ever will…"

She nervously ran her hand over the fabric of his t-shirt, "I'm so sorry…"

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I'm sorry too…"

She pulled him closer, "You know...this is not how I pictured tonight to go."

He smirked and cocked his head to the side, "How did you picture it going?"

"I figured after the show I'd come home and eat a gallon of ice cream and watch a super sad movie." She said with a smile, "Pretty much same thing I've done every night since we broke up…"

Luke nodded slowly, "No more sad movies."

"But can I still have the ice cream?" She asked with a smile.

He chuckled, "I'm pretty sure that if I tried to keep it from you...you'd break up with me again."

She smiled, "Well that's probably right."

He smirked and leaned down to kiss her gently, "How about we skip the ice cream at least for tonight?"

She smiled up at him, "What do I get instead?"

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, sending a shiver up her spine, he pulled away and smiled, "Better than ice cream?"

She giggled and pulled his face down to her, "So much better!"

He started to press kisses against her neck and to her collarbone. She pressed up into him and sighed his name happily. She felt the pieces of her broken heart start to mend.

"Luke…" She whispered as he continued to kiss her, "There are still things we need to talk about…"

He pulled away just enough to see her face, "I know...I know we do. And we will…but right now I just…" He sighed and pressed further into her, "I need you…"

She cupped his face in her hands and nodded slowly, "You have me Luke. You have all of me."

He took a deep breath and pressed her lips to hers again. She pulled him as close as possible needing to be a part of him. Her night had been a roller coaster of emotions and she had never expected to end up back here with him but boy was she glad she did.

Suddenly a thought popped up into her head, "Did you make out with Crazy Carrie?"

Luke lifted his head away from her neck and frowned, "What?"

She laughed, "In High School...did you make out with Crazy Carrie?"

He couldn't help but laugh, "Why the hell are we talking about this right now?"

"Because I wanted to claw her eyes out when I saw her talking to you back at the show. So did you make out with Crazy Carrie under the bleachers or not?" She asked.

He groaned, "Not intentionally."

She gasped, "Luke Danes!"

He laughed and pressed his forehead to her chest again, "Why are we talking about this?"

She giggled, "Just need to know who I should keep my eye on…"

He rolled his eyes and looked back at up at her, "Crazy Carrie is the last person you have to be worried about Lorelai. You don't have to worry about anyone. You're the only woman that I ever think about...9 years now and you're the only woman that's been burned in my head. Nothing is going to erase you...no one is going to erase you."

"See that's real love…" She said with a smile.

Luke smirked at her, "I guess it is…"

She pulled his face towards hers again, "To bad I didn't know you back then...I totally would have made out with you behind the bleachers Butch."

He chuckled, "Good to know. But how about we make out right now?"

She smiled, and lifted her head to press her lips to his. She was grateful that Luke had not blown off the play today. She had been wanting to see him. Needed to see him. And now here he was in her bed once again. Right where he belonged…

* * *

 **I am still waiting impatiently for the Revival. The wait is killing me! I need to see how Luke and Lorelai ended up :) Hope you liked this. Will try and add more soon!**


	19. Eternal Flame

**Based around the episode in season 3 when Luke teaches Lorelai to fish. What if she read the signs by the look on his face and cancelled on Alex? What if she went fishing with Luke instead? A possible way for them to have gotten together soon based on the song "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles :) Enjoy!  
**

 _Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling_  
 _Do you feel my heart beating?_  
 _Do you understand, do you feel the same?_  
 _Am I only dreaming, is this burning an eternal flame?_

 _I believe it's meant to be, darling_  
 _I watch you when you are sleeping_  
 _You belong with me, do you feel the same?_  
 _Am I only dreaming or is this burning an eternal flame?_

 _Say my name, sun shines through the rain_  
 _A whole life so lonely_  
 _And then you come and ease the pain_  
 _I don't want to lose this feeling, oh_

 _Say my name, sun shines through the rain_  
 _A whole life so lonely_  
 _And then you come and ease the pain_  
 _I don't want to lose this feeling, oh_

 _Close your eyes, give me your hand_  
 _Do you feel my heart beating?_  
 _Do you understand, do you feel the same?_  
 _Am I only dreaming or is this burning an eternal flame?_

 _Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling_  
 _Do you feel my heart beating?_  
 _Do you understand, do you feel the same?_  
 _Am I only dreaming, is this burning an eternal flame?_

 _Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling_  
 _Do you feel my heart beating?_  
 _Do you understand, do you feel the same?_  
 _Am I only dreaming, an eternal flame?_

 _Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling_  
 _Do you feel my heart beating?_  
 _Do you understand, do you feel the same?_  
 _Am I only dreaming, is this burning an eternal flame?_

 _Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling  
 **  
**_

* * *

 _LUKE: So, tell me why you're doing this._  
 _  
LORELAI: Because you told me to._

 _LUKE: I mean, tell me why you're learning to fish._

 _LORELAI: Oh. I told you, some of my friends are going._

 _LUKE: What friends? Sookie?_

 _LORELAI: What?_

 _LUKE: Is Sookie going fishing?_

 _LORELAI: Well –_

 _LUKE: Or Rory – did Rory suddenly get the overwhelming urge to dig for worms and stand in the middle of a lake at five a.m.?_

 _LORELAI: Yes? Okay, fine, I met this guy._

 _LUKE: Ah._

 _LORELAI: And, uh, he's kind of an outdoorsy guy._

 _LUKE: Oh, just your type._

 _LORELAI: No, not exactly, but he's nice and, uh, he was talking about fishing, and I think I said something like, 'Oh, hey, that sounds great', and so he invited me and here I am._

 _LUKE: I got it._

 _LORELAI: Sorry I didn't tell you._

 _LUKE: Why didn't you tell me?_

 _LORELAI: I don't know. I just felt stupid getting rooked into the thing in the first place, and then. . .plus, you don't wanna hear about my personal life._

 _LUKE: So this'll be your first date or. . ._

 _LORELAI: Second._

 _LUKE: Second date._

 _LORELAI: He took me to this coffee tasting place._

 _LUKE: Coffee tasting, just your type._

 _LORELAI: Uh huh._

 _LUKE: Well, I think that's great._

 _LORELAI: Thank you._

 _LUKE: Yeah. When are you going?_

 _LORELAI: Sunday morning._

 _LUKE: Oh. Well, it's hard to be a fisher woman without your own pole. You can borrow one of mine if you want._

 _LORELAI: Really?_

 _LUKE: Yeah, I got an extra little tackle box, too. . . if you want._

 _LORELAI: That would be great._

 _LUKE: Yeah._

 _LORELAI: Can you do me one more favor?_

 _LUKE: Sure._

 _LORELAI: Put a cork on your hook._

 _LUKE: Sure._

* * *

On Saturday night, Lorelai sat in bed contemplating her date in the morning. Her outfit was laid out on the rocking chair. Luke had taught her the basics. Alex was a good guy. Logically there was no reason for her not to go…

And yet something was holding her back. And deep down she knew that something was actually someone. And his name was Luke Danes. Something about the look on his face when she told him she was learning to a fish for a guy had tugged at her heart strings. It wasn't jealousy that she saw...it was something more. Something more raw and deep.

Regret. Sadness. Pain.

And that was something she could not live with. Why would Luke care if she had a date? She had dated before. Hell she had been engaged not long ago...but why was it different this time?

She sighed softly and reached for the phone on the bedside table, she cleared her throat a little and dialed the number she was trying to reach. After a few rings the person answered and she pretended to cough.

"Alex. Hi…" She sniffled slightly, "God I'm so sorry to do this on short notice but I think I am going to have to cancel our date tomorrow." She waited as he responded, "I know...I'm sorry too. I just got this cold last night and I thought I could shake it but it doesn't seem to be going away." She listened to him for a moment, "Right. Well I'm sorry. We will have to try and reschedule something another time?" She had no intention of going on another date with him. "Great. I'll call you. And thanks."

Lorelai hung up the phone and glanced over at the clock. It was a little past 9. If she was ever going to wake up at 5am she was going to have to go to sleep now. She had every intention of fishing tomorrow...just with a different man. She had some questions she needed answered and she figured dragging the person to the middle of no where to fish was her best option of getting them.

* * *

When her alarm rang at 4:45, she practically leaped out of bed which was very unlike her. But she was a woman on a mission today. She took a quick shower, dried her hair and even put on makeup which she was sure was not something people did before fishing but she didn't care. She put on her adorable fishing outfit, grabbed the pole that Luke had lent her and put it in the jeep. She didn't wake up Rory because she knew that Lorelai had a schedule date anyway, she wouldn't be concerned about the fact that her Mother was gone when she woke up.

Lorelai pulled up in front of the Diner and smiled when she saw that he was already awake and prepping behind the counter. She walked up to the door and tapped on the glass hopefully. When he lifted his head, she gave him her best smile and wave. He seemed confused but of course went to greet her.

"Hey...shouldn't you be gone by now? You need something else?" Luke asked glancing down at her outfit.

She nodded slowly, "I do need something actually. A fishing partner."

He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, "What?"

She sighed dramatically, "Fish boy cancelled on me last minute…" She noticed the way he stood up straighter and seemed to relax, "And...seeing as I was all ready to go and I look adorable…" She said gesturing to her outfit, "I thought it would be a waste to not go at all. Want to fish with me?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, "I'm working."

She pouted softly, "Oh come on Luke...I'm already pathetic enough because I got dumped. Don't make me even more pathetic by being dumped twice."

He hated it when she pouted, she could make him join the circus if she did it with that damn pout. Combine it with the hair flip and the flippy skirt and he'd probably agree to become her personal slave. Not that he wasn't already…

"Lorelai…" He said with a sigh as he leaned against the door frame.

"Please Luke? Please?" She held her hands against her heart, "I had fun the other day and now I want to try to fish for real. And who better to take me than my teacher?" She watched him sigh again, "It will be fun! I promise!"

Luke cleared his throat and looked around, "Fine…"

She jumped up and clapped her hands like a two year old, "Yay!"

He couldn't help but chuckle, "Let me grab my stuff. Hold on."

Lorelai stepped into the Diner and watched him walk towards the stairs, "I'm stealing coffee and donuts just so you know."

"Wouldn't expect anything less!" He called out as he trudged up the stairs.

Lorelai giggled as she bit into her first donut. Step one of her plan had worked perfectly. Now she just needed the rest to go smoothly.

* * *

Upstairs Luke was standing in the middle of the apartment weighing his options. What the hell was he doing? She had once again rooked him into something. Why did she have that power over him? And furthermore was that fish guy an idiot? He had bailed on a date with Lorelai Gilmore! What a putz.

With a sigh of frustration, he grabbed his jacket, vest and gloves. He put on better boots and trudged down the stairs again. He found her standing behind the counter pouring herself a cup of coffee to go.

"Do you have a gone fishing sign?" She asked with a smile. "I've always wanted to put up a Gone Fishing sign!"

Luke rolled his eyes, "You have really weird dreams...you know that?"

She shrugged and looked around for paper, "It's the little things in life that make me the happiest."

He slipped on his gloves, "What are you doing?"

"Making a sign!" Lorelai said as if it was obvious, "Let me borrow your pen." She said holding her hand out to him expectantly.

He shook his head, "I don't have one on me."

"Where's the pen you take orders with?" She asked with her hand on her hip.

"I don't carry it around with me at all times." He said with an eye roll, "You have to stop assuming that."

She scoffed and looked under the counter, "Some help you are." She found one and smiled, "Score!"

Luke slipped on his coat as he watched her scribble the words "Gone Fishing" on the sign and draw little fish. She even put a fishing pole with a fish on the end with x's over it's eyes to mark the fact that it was now dead.

"Nice…" He said with a chuckle, "Real subtle…"

She smirked and looked under the counter for tape. She practically skipped to the door, stuck it on the front and then turned back to him with a smile that made his heart skip a beat, "Ready buddy?"

The way she said buddy made him sigh, "Sure thing buddy…"

His sigh didn't go unnoticed by her and she remembered to catalogue it in her brain for later. She watched Luke pick up his gear and then walk out the door before locking it. She followed him to the truck and helped him pack everything into the back. She climbed up into the passenger seat and smiled at him as he started the engine.

"So we're just going to the lake right?" Luke asked as he started to drive away.

She bit her lip anxiously, "Know any good spots outside of town?"

Luke glanced over at her curiously, "Why outside of town?"

She shrugged innocently, "Just want to go somewhere new…"

Luke narrowed his eyes and turned back to the road, "Um...there's a place in Litchfield I go to sometimes...I guess we could go there."

She nodded happily, "Sounds great!"

Luke gave her a small smile and drove off towards their destination. All the while he was wondering just what he had gotten himself into…

One they were set up on the dock, Luke helped Lorelai hook her line. She repeated everything he had taught her during their lessons and he smiled as she successfully got her line in the lake.

"I did it!" She said with a smile, "And it's not a kiddie pool!"

Luke nodded and released his own line, "Good job."

She giggled a little and then looked out at the water, "So...what now?"

He smirked, he had a feeling this wouldn't last long. Her attention span was that of a four year old. He didn't think waiting for a fish to bite would be something she could handle.

"Now we wait…" He said with a shrug.

"Hm…" She said with pursed lips, "How long?"

He chuckled, "Can't give you an exact time frame on that…"

She nodded slowly and glanced at the water again, "So you just come here and do this by yourself?"

Luke shrugged, "Sometimes yeah…"

She rocked back and forth a little, "Don't you ever get bored? Lonely? No one out here to talk too…"

He smirked, "I usually come here for the quiet. It's the exact opposite from the Diner and that's what I need sometimes."

She nodded slowly, "I'm sure you especially need a break from your loudest customer. I hear she's a real spitfire that Lorelai Gilmore. Never shuts up!"

He laughed a little, "Yeah she's something alright…"

She glanced over at him, trying to read his expression wondering just what that meant, "Sorry if I drive you crazy sometimes…"

He turned towards her and gave her a playful look, "You drive me crazy all the time…"

She stuck her tongue out at him, "Well your life would be super boring without me!"

He smirked and turned back towards the water, "You're probably right about that…"

They stood there quietly as they continued to wait for a fish to bite. Millions of questions were swimming in Lorelai's head but she didn't know where to start. Luke seemed perfectly content just sitting there in silence but that was not something she was ever good at.

"So...thanks for agreeing to come with me." She whispered softly, "I know it wasn't really on the agenda for today…"

He shrugged, "I like fishing. No big deal…"

She nodded slowly, "Right…well even still." She turned towards him and smiled softly, "Thanks."

He gave her a quick nod and then looked back at the water, "Sorry that guy cancelled…"

She forgot for a moment that she had lied to him about that part, "What?"

He turned towards her and frowned, "That guy you were supposed to be here with...I'm sorry he cancelled on you."

Her eyes opened slightly, "Oh! Right...yeah well…" She quickly turned back to the water, "Wouldn't be the first time I've been cancelled on. I'll get over it." She cleared her throat nervously wanting to change the subject, "So...did your Dad teach you how to fish?"

Luke studied her nervous expression for a moment before answering, "Yeah...he did."

Lorelai smiled, "That's nice...I don't remember ever doing anything like that with my Dad." She laughed slightly, "Not that he's the fishing type…"

Luke smiled, "Yeah...he's more of the business type…"

She nodded slowly, "Yup. Went to lots and lots of boring dinner parties when I was a kid. Part of me hated it...but the other part hoped at some point my Dad would notice me finally. He worked a lot…"

Lorelai never talked about her family that much. But he was very aware of her tumultuous relationship with her parents. He knew that it went further back then when she got pregnant with Rory. Lorelai in their eyes didn't fit into their perfect little world. But in Luke's eyes...she was the closest thing to perfect he had ever found…

"I was lucky...I spent a lot of time with my Dad. Between working at the store...fishing and camping. We were always doing something together." He said with a shrug.

She smiled softly at him, "You must miss him…"

She heard him clear his throat softly, "I do...everyday."

"I'm sorry I never met him." She said honestly, "But I've heard a lot of great stories. He sounded like a hell of a guy…"

Luke smirked, "I can imagine that Patty and Babette have told you a few crazy ones."

She smiled, "There was one about spiking Taylor's drink at the firelight festival that I don't think I'll ever forget…"

Luke threw his head back and laughed a little, "Oh man I forgot about that! Taylor was so drunk he danced the Funky Chicken. I think Patty has a picture of that somewhere…"

"I'll have to ask her to see it sometime." She said with a smile, she loved to hear him laugh like that.

He smiled softly, "That was right before my Mom got sick actually…" His smile faltered, "I remember how happy my parents looked that night...and thinking that I wanted that someday."

Lorelai watched him carefully, she was just about to say something when she felt a tug on her line. Her head whipped towards the water and she gasped, "I think I got one!"

Luke snapped out of his daze and looked back towards her, "Okay. Well reel it in!"

Lorelai looked totally panicked, "I can't! I don't know what to do!"

Luke laughed and pulled his own line in quickly, "Okay. Hang on…" He placed his pole on the dock beside them and walked behind her, "I'll help you."

She gasped when she felt him press his body into hers. His hands lead hers as they started to reel the line in together. She was totally not focussed on the fish anymore. The feel of him, the smell of him...was to much. She was glad he was in control because she was sure the fish would have gotten away if she had been in charge.

When the line was out of the water she smiled, "I caught one! I actually caught one!"

Luke chuckled as he walked over to handle the decent sized fish, "You're a natural!"

She smiled and leaned towards it, "Hi little guy! Sorry to disturb you so early in the morning!"

He smirked, "Oh here we go…"

"Were you just trying to find breakfast for your babies? They must be lost without you." She frowned, "Luke let him go…"

He looked over at her, "You know some people actually catch fish to eat!"

She scoffed, "Never! And don't little Billy hear you say that!" She leaned towards the fish, "Don't listen to the mean man Billy! We would never eat you!" She put her hands on her hips, "Let him go Luke! He has babies to feed!"

He rolled his eyes, unhooked the fish and threw it back in the water, "Happy now?"

"Very!" She said with a smile as she watched the fish swim off quickly.

"If I catch a fish I am taking it home for my dinner tonight." He said sternly.

"Murderer!" She said gasping as she turned back towards him.

He rolled his eyes again, "Says the woman who has single handedly probably caused the death of a hundred cows for her cheese burgers."

"Hey! I don't have to look at the live animal I am eating. And it's your fault!" She said poking his chest slightly.

He scoffed, "How the hell is it my fault that you're a carnivore?"

She shrugged, "Because if you didn't make such good burgers I wouldn't eat them as often as I do…"

He laughed, "So you were a vegetarian before you met me?"

Now she rolled her eyes, "Oh God no! But I definitely ate less red meat."

He smirked and picked up his pole again, "I bet if I catch a fish and cook it you would actually like it." He said confidently.

And suddenly she had her opening, "Okay. Then cook me dinner tonight at the apartment and we'll find out."

He stumbled slightly as he went to throw his reel into the water, "What?"

She smiled at his shock, "Catch a fish. Cook it tonight. And I'll come over and eat it."

"At my apartment?" Luke asked softly. "Not at the Diner?"

She shook her head, "Nope. Up in your apartment…"

She waited to see if he would put up a fight but he didn't. Instead he turned towards her with a straight face and nodded, "You're on."

She smiled triumphantly and reached for her pole again, "Of course if I'm the next one to catch a fish...you'll have to make me steak instead…"

Luke smirked as he felt a tug on his line, he slowly reeled it in and smiled at her, "Looks like you're having Trout tonight Gilmore…"

She scrunched up her nose slightly, "I'm sorry Raymond...your death is for the greater good I promise!"

Luke chuckled and put the fish in the bucket beside him. He cast his line again and watched as she pouted down a the fish promising to take care of it's family now that he was gone. Now he couldn't wait until dinner…

* * *

Later that night, Lorelai was standing in her bedroom flipping through outfits to wear. Every nerve in her body was tingling. She was about to have dinner alone with Luke in his apartment. Yes it had been her idea...but now she felt truly terrified. Was she doing the right thing?

She had had a wonderful time today fishing with him. And she'd love to have more time with him like that...but what did he want? There were so many moments over the years when she thought he liked her as more than a friend. But every time they got close to crossing that line...something seemed to hold him back.

A slight knock on the door pulled her out of her day dreams, "Hey kid."

Rory smirked and walked over to the bed, "Two dates in one day? Things must be heating up with you and Alex…"

Lorelai grimaced slightly, "Um...I'm actually not seeing him tonight. And we didn't go fishing either…"

Rory sat up straighter, "Well then where the hell were you this morning why did you come back smelling like fish?"

Lorelai turned slowly and stared at her daughter, "Okay don't freak out…"

Rory's eyes widened, "Oh geez...never a good way to start a conversation."

"I sort of cancelled on Alex and went with Luke instead. But I told Luke that Alex was the one who cancelled on me so he would feel bad. And then somehow Luke and I were talking about my red meat consumption and I suggested he catch a fish and cook it for me in his apartment for dinner tonight." She had spoken so fast that Rory was still trying to catch up.

"Whoa. You went fishing with Luke and now you're having a dinner date with him?" She asked quickly.

Lorelai walked to the bed and sat down, "Yes...are you totally freaked out?"

Rory was quiet for a moment before she shook her head, "No...not freaked out."

Lorelai groaned and lay back on the bed, "I knew it! I'm an idiot! What the hell was I thinking? I should call and cancel."

Rory rolled her eyes, "You can't cancel on two guys in one day. But let's go back to that for a second...why did you cancel on Alex? I thought you liked him?"

Lorelai sighed and looked over at her daughter, "He was...nice. But there wasn't a real spark ya know? No real chemistry…"

Rory nodded slowly, "Okay...well that's a good enough reason. But why Luke? Why now?"

"What do you mean why now?" Lorelai asked curiously.

Rory smirked, "I mean I can't pretend I didn't expect this to happen at some point...you guys flirt constantly. I knew it that it was only a matter of time before it happened…"

Lorelai sat up quickly, "So you've seen the flirting too? I haven't just made it all up in my head?"

Rory laughed, "Please! Everyone in town has seen the flirting! It's so obvious you guys are attracted to each other. So why now?"

Lorelai pulled her legs into a pretzel position and shrugged, "Well...I mean there has always been this underlying flirting. But...the other day when he came by to teach me how to fish...there was this moment when he found out I was learning for a guy...and he just looked sad. And I thought...is he jealous?"

Rory smirked, "Of course he's jealous...he's watched you date everyone but him. He wants to be the one you pick to date."

Lorelai smiled softly, "Well...I think I might want that too."

"So you like Luke as more than just a friend? The flirting wasn't just something fun for you to do?" She asked.

Lorelai shrugged, "I mean it sort of started that way years ago...but over the years I've…" She looked down slowly, "I've always wondered...what would happen if we crossed that line. But for a long time I was worried about you…"

"About me?" Rory asked curiously, "What do you mean?"

"I knew that you cared about Luke too. I didn't want to start something with him and have it end badly. I knew it would hurt you too…" Lorelai whispered, "You knew that I was always careful about that."

Rory nodded, "Yes. But...I'm not a kid anymore Mom. And the only reason I would tell you to not do this is if you didn't really care about him."

"I do care about him." Lorelai whispered, "He's a great guy Rory…"

Rory smiled, "I know he is Mom...I've always known that." She watched the way her Mom's face lit up, "How did it go this morning?"

Lorelai's face brightened even more, "We had a great time. We were laughing and joking around. I haven't felt that comfortable with someone in a long time…"

Rory smiled, "Well then I think you should go there tonight...and see what happens."

Lorelai's smile fell only slightly, "But what if I'm reading too much into it…"

Rory shrugged, "That's a risk you're going ot have to take…but truthfully if Luke doesn't like you as more than a friend than I know nothing about men."

Lorelai smiled, "Help me pick out an outfit? I want something casual but also something that says hey i want to cross that line…"

Rory cringed for a moment, "Okay well it's gonna take me awhile to get used to you two as...more than friends. So you might have to pick out the outfit on your own. But let's be real...you could wear anything and Luke would be happy."

Lorelai took a deep breath, "Have to take a jump at some point right?"

Rory smiled and leaned forward to kiss her Mom's cheek, "Take the jump Mom. I think it will be worth it." She stood up and walked towards the door, "I'm going to meet Jess for dinner."

Lorelai grimaced, "Shoot...I didn't think about how this would affect you and Jess…"

Rory rolled her eyes as she turned back to her, "Oh please...Jess and I have been taking bets on when you two would get together for months now. We'll be fine."

"Be home by 12 please!" Lorelai called as she started sorting through her clothes.

"You too!" Rory called back.

Lorelai laughed as she pulled out her favorite pair of jeans and her most casual but sexy top. She put her clothes on quickly, primped her hair and began to apply her make up. She stood in front of the mirror for a few moments before whispering, "Take the jump…"

* * *

Luke opened the apartment door and felt his breath catch in his throat at the sight of her. He saw her just about everyday. And he would never admit that the days he didn't see her were the worst. But it shocked him that every time he did see her...it was like the first time all over again.

She smiled sheepishly at him and held up a bottle of wine, "Brought myself some wine…"

Luke smiled, "I could have picked something up…"

She shrugged, "I figured I'd supply the drinks since you were making dinner." She paused and pulled a six back from behind her, "Grabbed you some beer too."

He smirked, "Thanks." He took both items from her and walked into the apartment, "Make yourself comfortable."

Lorelai slipped her jacket off and hung it up on the hook by the door, "How are Raymond and Theodore?"

He poured her some wine and smiled, "Already fillet...I figured you'd want to skip that part."

She smiled and took the wine as she sat down on the couch, "I appreciate that."

He cracked open his beer and smiled, "I promise I made there death quick and painless."

She grimaced, "Ahh stop talking about it!" She said with a laugh, "Poor fishies…"

He smirked and took a swig of his beer, "So...Rory set off to meet Jess?"

Lorelai kicked off her shoes and pulled her feet up on the couch, "Yep. She said they were getting pizza and catching a movie."

Luke nodded, "I told her to drop her off before 11:30."

Lorelai smirked, "I gave her until 12:00...so that gives them thirty whole minutes to be all alone in my house…"

Luke's eyes widened, "What?"

She laughed and shook her head, "Relax Luke...Rory and I have had those conversations. She's not ready for that…I only said that because I like to see your face turn bright red."

Luke groaned and took another swig of his beer, "Give me a heart attack more like it…"

Lorelai smiled, "Sorry…" She took a sip of her wine, "I like that you worry about Rory though…"

He shrugged nervously, "She's a great kid...I want what's best for her."

She swallowed her wine and nodded, "She cares a lot about you too…"

A timer went off on the stove and Luke stood up to check the food. Lorelai watched him for a moment and wondered how many meals he had prepared for her over the years. Probably more than she could ever count. But something about this one felt very different...more intimate. Her heart started beating faster in her chest and she wondered how she would be able to broach the subject about wanting more with him…

"Lorelai?" He called out softly.

She snapped out of her daze and glanced at him quickly, "Hm?"

He smiled, "I asked if you were hungry. Dinner will be about another 10 minutes...but I probably have something you could snack on."

She shook her head, "No I'm good actually…"

He narrowed his eyes at her, "You...not hungry? You sick or something?"

She chuckled, "I know...shocking." She took a sip of her wine, "Saving up all my energy for that fish! Better be good mister!"

"I think you'll actually be surprised how much you like it." He said as he closed the oven door.

She smiled and stood up to go into the kitchen, she placed her wine on the counter and pulled herself up to sit on the counter beside him. "We'll see about that. You know if I don't like it then you'll have to go downstairs and make me a Burger…"

He rolled his eyes, "I figured as much…"

She watched him move around the kitchen with ease, "So...how was the rest of your day?"

He shrugged, "Fine. Well kind of annoying actually...Taylor is driving me nuts with this ice cream shoppe stuff. And his lawyer came to see me today."

She smirked, "That must have been fun…"

"Mhm. She doesn't know how annoying Taylor is yet...I'd hate to be his lawyer." He said with a laugh.

The word she made a lump grow in her throat, "Oh it's a woman?"

Luke glanced at her, "Uh yeah. Her name's Nicole Lahey. Why?"

She shook her head, "Just curious…"

He stared at her for a moment and then turned back to the stove, "Okay…"

She cleared her throat nervously, "Will you have to spend a lot of time with her?"

Luke shrugged, "I don't know...I hope not. I want as little to do with this process as possible. But I'm sure that Taylor is going to make it a daily struggle."

She smirked and started to kick her legs back and forth, "Probably…"

He glanced over at her again and noticed that some of her spark had suddenly begun to fade, "Are you okay?"

She looked up quickly and tried to smile, "Oh yeah! I'm fine!" She mentally cursed herself because she shouldn't be feeling jealous, she had no claim on this man.

He frowned, "No you aren't…you look upset." She was quiet and he sighed, "This about fish boy ditching you this morning?"

There was an edge to her voice that caught her attention, "Fish boy has a name ya know...Alex."

Luke rolled his eyes "Yeah well...he doesn't deserve to have a name. He's a jerk as far as I can tell."

She smiled at him, "He wasn't a jerk…"

"He bailed last minute. Total dick move." Luke said with an eye roll, "Did he say the it's not you it's me line? I hate that…"

She smiled, "No line...just said something came up. We would try and reschedule…"

Luke stumbled slightly as he went to grab two plates, "Oh...so you'll see him again?"

She bit her lip gently, "Not sure. Maybe…"

She watched his Adam's apple bob slowly, "Oh well...he did take you on a coffee tasting date. Guess he deserves a second shot…"

She opened her mouth to say something but the timer went off again. She held back as she watched Luke begin to plate their food. He seemed tense all of a sudden and the pounding in her heart returned. He placed both plates on the table and went to wash his hands.

"It's all set…" He whispered as he kept his back to her.

Lorelai jumped off the table and sat down at the table. She pulled her napkin into her lap and waited until he sat beside her at the table. Once he did he gave her a small smile and lifted his beer to take a quick sip.

"So taste test time…" Luke whispered to her, "We find out if Raymond's death was indeed worth it…"

She chuckled a little and stared down at her plate, "It looks good…"

She glanced up at him sheepishly and he gave her a hopeful smile. She lifted her fork and knife and cut a piece of the fish off, she lifted it to her lips and then placed it in her mouth. She chewed slowly and then her eyes widened slightly, Luke stared at her and waited.

"Oh wow…" She said placing a hand in front of her mouth, "Luke that's really good!"

He leaned back in his chair and grabbed his beer, "I told you you'd like it!"

She smiled, "Sorry...years of caviar and tuna tartar as a kid must have set me off fish…"

Luke chuckled and took a sip of his drink, "Well now you know not all fish is bad…"

She smiled and scooped up some rice, "Thanks for cooking this for me…"

He smirked, "I cook most meals for you anyway...not that different really."

She scooted closer to the table, "It's a little different...more intimate. No other Diner guests around...Rory and Jess aren't here…"

He cleared his throat nervously, "I guess that's true…"

They ate quietly for a few moments enjoying the comfortable silence. They spoke occasionally about work, Jess and Rory and other safe topics. And when they were done eating, Luke lifted both of their plates and placed them in the sink.

Lorelai poured herself some more wine and grabbed him another beer before walking back to the couch. When Luke was done he walked back towards her and sat down on the couch. She handed him his beer and he smiled back graciously.

"So thanks for dinner…" Lorelai said pulling her legs back up under her again.

"No problem." He said taking a swig of his beer, "I am cataloguing it as a win because I got you to eat something somewhat healthy…"

She smirked, "Just don't expect me to give up the burger's anytime soon…"

He laughed, "I wouldn't...but I'd like it if you added a salad into the mix every now and then."

She scrunched up her nose, "Never!"

He sighed, "Can't say I didn't try…"

She smiled softly and looked down at her lap as she rolled the stem of her wine glass between her hands. Luke eyed her carefully and wondered what was going on in her head. The entire day had been strange for him...there was an underlying vibe that suggested she wanted something more. But with Lorelai...he was never quite sure.

Clearing his throat slowly he whispered, "So tell me more about fish boy…"

She smirked, "Man...you really don't like him do you?"

Luke rolled his eyes and placed his beer on the coffee table in front of him, "I don't like guys that treat women badly…"

She grimaced, "He didn't treat me badly…" She swallowed hard, "In fact...I kind of lied to you."

He swallowed his beer and cocked his head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"I'm the one that cancelled on him…" She whispered unable to meet her eyes.

Luke leaned forward and placed his beer on the table, "What? Why would you tell me did it? And why did you cancel?"

She sighed and placed her wine next to his beer, "I'm not entirely sure why I cancelled...well I kind of do but...it's complicated."

"Did he do something to hurt you? Make you nervous?" He asked quickly.

"No. Nothing like that...I just…" She sighed and leaned forward slightly. "The other day when you were teaching me to fish I started to think about things...and I had this theory that I wanted to test."

Luke frowned, "Theory? What theory?"

"My theory about your feelings for me…" She whispered softly as she glanced at him.

He took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter, "And what is that theory?"

She glanced down at her lap again, "I think that you like me...as more than a friend. But you're too afraid to cross that line…"

He swallowed hard, "Lorelai…"

"And so...I thought that maybe I would make things easier for you and cross the line for you." She lifted her face and leaned in slowly.

His face gave nothing away, but she continued to lean in until their lips met in a gentle kiss. He didn't pull away so she moved closer and deepened the kiss. After a minute or so, she finally pulled away and tried to study his face. He look stunned. His face was white as a ghost and she suddenly felt like she needed to get as far away from him as possible.

Sitting back slowly, "I...I'm sorry. Wow. Um...clearly I read that situation wrong." She stood up quickly and grabbed her discarded heels on the floor, "Thanks for dinner. I'll see you-"

She was halfway to the door when he spun her around and pulled her as close as possible. She gasped into his mouth but he continued to kiss her passionately. Her arms snaked around his neck and his hips gripped her hips to keep her steady.

"Luke…" She whispered as he pulled away slowly.

"Your theory wasn't wrong…" He said in a breathless voice.

Her eyes fluttered open as she stared up at him, "It wasn't?"

He shook his head and lifted a hand to cup her face gently, "It was pretty spot on actually…"

She grasped his arms tightly to keep herself upright, "So when you looked upset when I told you about Alex-"

"Can we just refer to him as fish boy?" He said with a smirk, "I prefer that…"

She laughed a little and felt her body sway against his, "Fine...when I told you about fish boy you were upset because-"

"Because once again you were picking anyone but me." He said softly, "I wanted you to pick me."

She swallowed hard and lifted a hand to caress his cheek softly, "I do pick you."

He stepped back slowly and ran a hand through his hair, "This is insane…"

She pulled her shirt down slowly and sighed, "I know...I know it's a little crazy. I mean...we're friends."

He nodded slowly, "Right."

"And crossing that line would have a lot of implications…" She whispered. "It would change a lot of things between us…"

He glanced back to her and nodded, "Yes it would…"

She bit her lip and walked closer to him, "But it...could also be really good for us."

He glanced over at her and sighed, "I asked Taylor's lawyer out…"

She stopped short and felt like someone had punched her in the gut, "Oh…" She felt tears prickling in her eyes and she smiled, "Well...hey that's great. Good-good for you." She said suddenly feeling cold, "She's lucky…" She turned to grab her coat and it took him a moment to grab her again, "Luke-"

"I'll cancel on her like you cancelled on fish boy under one condition." He said softly.

She took a deep breath and stared up at him, "O-Okay?"

"If we do this…" He whispered, "We can't do it half way...we can't be a casual thing. I don't want to date other people and I don't want you to date other people. I want to give it a real effort...really try and make it work."

She felt her hands begin to tremble, "I want that too…"

Luke took two strides and suddenly he was kissing her again. She moaned into his mouth and felt him steering her backwards. Her legs hit the edge of his tiny bed and she gasped in surprise when they fell back on the bed together.

He pulled away just to make sure she was okay, "Is this really happening?"

She smiled and leaned up to kiss him gently, "It's really happening…"

He took a deep breath and whispered, "This is insane…"

She chuckled, "You said that already…"

He stared down at her, trying to memorize every feature of her face, "Do you have any idea how long I have wanted this to happen?"

"Why'd you never ask me out?" She asked softly, "There were so many times when I thought you might…"

He sighed and rolled off of her laying down beside her on his tiny bed, "For the exact reason you said...I was to afraid to cross that line. I didn't think you'd ever say yes so I just decided that being your friend was better than nothing."

She rolled onto her side and held her head up with her hand, she placed her other hand on his chest, "You're a good man Luke…a girl could do a lot worse."

He smirked, "Gee thanks…"

She smiled and leaned forward to cup his face in her hands, "I mean it Luke. You are such a good man...a better man than I deserve."

He frowned, "You know I'd do anything for you, right?"

She smiled, "I kind of got that memo...you do anything I ask you to do. I count on you for everything...I don't know where Rory and I would be without you."

He sighed and leaned into her hand, "No more fish boy?"

She chuckled and leaned over him, "No more fish boy. I promise."

He stared up at her and then smiled, "Of all the things that I thought might bring us together...it definitely wasn't fishing…"

She giggled and leaned down to kiss him gently, "I know right?"

He pulled her down to kiss her again, "I hope you weren't planning on being home anytime soon…"

She smirked and pulled herself up on top of him, "Rory gave me a curfew of midnight too…" She glanced at the clock behind them, "That means you have a whole three hours with me...what are you gonna do with it?"

He smirked and quickly rolled her over making her gasp, "I've got a few ideas…"

Lorelai giggled and pulled him down to her, "Tomorrow you're getting a bigger bed…"

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her gently, "Deal."

His lips moved to her neck and she smiled, "You know I have this other theory…"

He smiled against her collarbone as he nipped it slowly, "Oh yeah? And what is it?"

"I think that you and I have a lot of chemistry...and that the sex is going to be incredible." He pulled away and she smirked, "Wanna test that theory?"

He growled and started to pull at the buttons on her shirt making her laugh. As soon as his hands and lips touched her bare skin she knew that she already knew the answer to her second theory. They were going to be amazing…

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it :) I had a lot of fun writing this one!**


	20. Hold You In My Arms

**Hey guys! Got some inspiration from an old favorite song of mine today. This is based on the song "Hold You In My Arms" by Ray Lamontagne and takes place during the episode "The Incredible Shrinking Lorelai's" after Luke comfort's Lorelai in the park after her meltdown. Enjoy :)  
** _  
_

 _When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears_  
 _It was easy to see that you'd been crying_  
 _Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns_  
 _But who really profits from the dying_  
 _I could hold you in my arms_  
 _I could hold you forever_  
 _I could hold you in my arms_  
 _I could hold you in my arms forever_

 _When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions_  
 _It's my worried mind that you quiet_  
 _Place your hands on my face_  
 _Close my eyes and say_  
 _Love is a poor man's food_  
 _Don't prophesize_  
 _I could hold you in my arms_  
 _I could hold you forever_  
 _And I could hold you in my arms_  
 _I could hold you forever_

 _So now we see how it is_  
 _This fist begets the spear_  
 _Weapons of war_  
 _Symptoms of madness_  
 _Don't let your eyes refuse to see_  
 _Don't let your ears refuse to hear_  
 _Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness_  
 _I could hold you in my arms_  
 _I could hold on forever_  
 _And I could hold you in my arms_  
 _I could hold forever_

* * *

 _LORELAI: Luke._

 _LUKE: Hey, I was just coming to meet you._

 _LORELAI: I know. Yeah. [nervously smoothing hair] Could we uh, - I need to - I'm sorry, I need to reschedule our dinner._

 _LUKE: Oh sure._

 _LORELAI: Yeah, I'm just very tired._

 _LUKE: Okay._

 _LORELAI: So I'm sorry that I made you get all dressed up._

 _LUKE: That's okay, it's good for me to do it every once in awhile. It reminds me why I'm not an accountant._

 _LORELAI: [odd giggle] Okay._

 _LUKE: [concerned] Everything okay?_

 _LORELAI: What?_

 _LUKE: Are you okay?_

 _LORELAI: Why?_

 _LUKE: Because you don't look okay._

 _LORELAI: Well, geez, take me now, sailor._

 _LUKE: I mean, you look distracted._

 _LORELAI: Distracted, no. Well, maybe - yeah. Distracted, okay, sure. I'm very distracted._

 _LUKE: Anything I can do?_

 _LORELAI: You know, there are very few times in my life when I find myself sitting around thinking, "I wish I was married," but today, I mean - I'm happy. You know? I like my life. I like my friends. I like my stuff. My time, my space, my TV._

 _LUKE: Yeah, sure._

 _LORELAI: But every now and then, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner, someone to pick up the slack. Someone to wait for the cable guy, make me coffee in the morning, meet the stupid sink before it gets sent back to Canada. [wanders to nearby bench and sits]_

 _LUKE: What happened? [joins her on bench]_

 _LORELAI: [ Voice breaking ] Um... [ Sniffles ] I just thought I had everything under control, but I didn't, and the inn is just falling apart. This has been my dream forever, and I have it, and it's here, and I'm failing. I can't handle it. I just spend every minute running around and working and thinking. [Luke puts his arm across the back of the bench and listens quietly.] And I thought I would have help, but Sookie has Davey, and Michel has Celine, and I'm - I can't do it all by myself. [[Luke moves closer.] And I don't even have time to see my kid, and hell, forget see her, just even talk to her. And I miss her. And I sat there in my parents' house just listening to my grandmother basically call me a charity case, and I couldn't even argue with her. I couldn't even say anything, because I am. I'm running out of money, and I don't know what to do about it, and I was gonna, I was gonna ask you for $30,000 at dinner tonight. That's how pathetic I am._

 _LUKE: Thirty thousand dollars. Well, okay, I mean if you -_

 _LORELAI: I don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to think about it. [hiding face, she leans against his chest] I'm failing. [ Sobs ] I'm failing._

 _[Luke hugs her close, strokes her hair, and gently rubs her arm.]_

 _LUKE: You are not failing._

 _LORELAI: [muffled] I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do._

 _LUKE: [gently] It's okay._

* * *

Lorelai continued to sob into Luke's chest trying her best to remind herself to breath. But each time she tried to gasp for breath another painful sob erupted from her chest causing her to cling to him tighter. Luke held her closely, trying his best to comfort her. But the longer they sat there the more he realized that this wasn't just a bad day...this was a complete break down for Lorelai and it broke his heart.

He glanced up and suddenly remembered where they were. Many of their nosy neighbors were passing by and glancing at them with curiosity. He cringed slightly, "Lorelai...let me take you home."

She shook her head against his chest, "No. No I can't go there. I don't want to be alone."

Luke squeezed her tighter, "Lorelai…" She started to cry harder and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head instinctively as if he had done it a thousand times before, "Okay...come back to my place. You can't stay out here...I'll make you something to eat and you can-"

She lifted her tear stained face slowly and she tried to rub her eyes, "Luke…"

He lifted a hand and wiped at her cheek gently, "Come on…"

She nodded slowly and watched as he stood up in front of her. He held out his hand to her and she took it. When he pulled her up, her weak legs started shaking and Luke grasped her other hand quickly to keep her standing up. She looked up at him with a lost, broken face and he wanted to hold her again and tell her that everything would be alright.

He tried to give her a reassuring smile and she took a quick step forward. He kept one hand firmly in hers and helped steer her towards the Diner. Having her be so quiet beside him was unnerving to him. He was so used to her constant chatter and although he pretended that it drove him nuts, it actually brought him some sort of peace. He loved her zest for life even if he would never admit it.

But to be here with her in complete silence made him realize that she truly was upset. He unlocked the Diner, and pressed a hand to her lower back to guide her inside. Her steps were slow and unsteady and he had to help her up the back stairs towards the apartment. He ushered her into the apartment and closed the door behind them. He watched her stand awkwardly by the front door, she had her hands crossed in front of her as she stared down at her shoes.

He slowly peeled off his jacket and stepped up to her slowly, "Do you want to take your coat off?" She didn't respond and he rubbed her back gently, "Lorelai?" She glanced up at him with fresh tears in her eyes and her face crumpled, "Hey…" He whispered, "Come here…" He started to pull at her coat and her arms dropped, he pulled it off and quickly threw it over the chair in the kitchen, "Come sit…"

She started sobbing again and he lead her towards the couch, as soon as she sat down he pulled her into his arms again, "I'm such a mess…"

He squeezed her tight, "You're not a mess...you're just really stressed out. You can't do everything on your own."

"I have too." She hiccuped into his shoulder, "It's all on me and if I don't get it done everything will-"

"Everything is going to be fine." Luke said squeezing her again, "You've got this under control. You always do."

She pulled away and shook her head as the tears continued to fall, "No I don't Luke. I don't...not this time. I can't keep up and if the Inn doesn't open then I am going to be letting everyone down, especially Sookie and Michel. And I haven't seen Rory in forever and I miss her so damn much. And Jason-"

Luke's heart jumped in his chest and he tried to ignore it, "Jason?"

She cringed, "My…" She paused and glanced back at him, "Boyfriend…"

Luke suddenly pulled away feeling like it was wrong to be so close to her, she was with someone else. And suddenly it occurred to him that technically...so was he. In fact he was married to someone...but that was a whole different conversation.

"Oh…" He paused, "Well that's nice-"

"I don't know what I'm doing with him." She said shaking her head quickly ignoring his words, "I mean I hated him growing up...and my parents don't know we're together and they will freak out when they do find out. And if I'm honest I only agreed to go out with him in the first place to piss my Mother off which makes me a terrible person-"

"You aren't a terrible person." Luke said quickly, she continued to cry and then he glanced around, "Have you uh...talked to this guy about everything going on?"

She sniffled and looked back at him, "Jason? No...he's not the kind of guy that would talk about this stuff. And we don't have that kind of relationship anyway…"

"Well what kind of relationship do you have then?" He asked curiously, "I mean aren't you supposed to talk to your partner about important things like this?"

She sat up straighter and raised an eyebrow, "Do you talk to Nicole about important things?"

He opened his mouth to respond and then stopped, "Okay...that's not what this is about. We're here because you are upset and I'm just trying to help. If you need the money I'm happy to-"

"No." She said shaking her head quickly, "I can't ask you for that...Sookie's been after to me to do it for awhile but I couldn't bring myself to ask you. It's not fair and it's too much."

"Lorelai we're friends…" Luke whispered, "I mean I think we are…"

She frowned and stared directly at him, "Of course we are. You're my best friend."

He took a deep breath, feeling his heart flip flop in his chest at her words, "Well...friends help each other. And I want to help you."

She groaned and went to stand up, "Luke I'm sorry I dragged you into all this I should-"

"Don't run away." Luke said grabbing her hand and pulling her back on the couch.

She sighed and looked over at him again, "Luke…"

He pulled her hand into his lap and leaned closer to her, "Lorelai...it's okay to be vulnerable every once and awhile."

She turned and smiled sheepishly at him, "No it's not. I can't let anyone ever see me cry. So to be honest...I have to kill you now so that no one will ever find out."

He couldn't help but chuckle, there was the Lorelai he knew so well. Even in her darkest moments she would use humor. "Lorelai…"

She sighed and looked down at her hand in his lap, "But really...I can't Luke. I can't be vulnerable. I don't have the time for that...I don't have anyone to pick up the slack if I can't…"

"Rory's not a little kid anymore…" Luke whispered, "She doesn't expect you to be wonderwoman."

She smiled sadly, "But I want to be for her...she can't know that I'm struggling. I don't want her to stress about it."

He sighed and looked down at her hand in his. He began to rub circles against her smooth skin, "So she doesn't have to know about it...it can be between you me and Sookie."

She smirked, "There's a dirty in there somewhere but I'm to tired to find it…" She said with a sad laugh.

He rolled his eyes and looked up at her, "Lorelai…"

She pouted softly and leaned back against the couch, "God I'm tired...I don't think I've ever been this tired. Even your coffee couldn't fix me…"

He stared at her for a moment, "You need a night off."

She turned her head to look at him, still resting on the back of the couch, "I do. But I can't."

"You can. And you will." He said standing up slowly, "I'm going to order some pizza...we're going to watch a movie and you are going to just relax. Not think about anything else tonight."

She sighed and tried to sit up but he pushed her back gently, "Luke…"

He shook his head, "You're going to make yourself sick Lorelai. Even you can't do it all. I know you'd love to prove me wrong and you probably could if you really tried but I'm worried about you...you need to take a break."

She stared at him thoughtfully, "You got all dressed up for no reason…

He shrugged, "I told you...it's good for me once and awhile."

She smiled gently and pulled her legs up on the couch, "You look very handsome…"

He blushed slightly, "Thank you. You look-"

"Like a hot mess. I know." She said with a smirk, "Trust me I know."

He shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets, "No. I was going to say you look beautiful…" He paused and noted the surprised look on her face, he shrugged slightly, "But then again...you always do."

With that he turned and walked towards the small kitchen area to call for pizza. She sat stone still in her spot on the couch and felt a rollercoaster of emotions surge through her body. Something in his words seemed to cause a shift in the room and she wasn't' sure where it would take them. But all she knew was that at this moment...this was exactly where she wanted and needed to be.

Luke always made her feel safe. She could never figure out what it was about him that made her feel that way...but she was starting too. Luke was her rock. Despite how often he pretended to be annoyed by her, she knew deep down he would do anything for her. That included giving her a check for 30,000 dollars to make her dreams come true.

He had provided a safe haven for her and Rory to meet at the end of each day for as long as she could remember. On the nights she had to work late, she never worried for a second when she knew that Rory was at the Diner. She knew that Luke would look out for her, he would feed her, even help her with homework. Luke had fixed every square inch of her house. He had built her a chuppah when she was going to marry Max. He had fixed her shoe during the dance marathon, changed her flat tires on the jeep, taught Rory how to drive when she panicked and gave her fishing lessons to try and impress another guy.

Luke was there. He was always there.

Even when they were in their biggest fight ever, he had let her into the Diner, let her pour her heart out and gave her free coffee. He was Luke. He was her best friend and her savior. The months that they had gone without taking had been some of the most torturous months of her life. She would never admit it but she had missed him in ways she didn't know it was possible to miss another human being. And she never wanted to feel that way…

She glanced over at him as he finished up on the phone and wondered why she had never let him all the way in. There were so many moments when she thought he would ask her out...but he didn't. And she knew she could have too...but that would have required her to admit her true feelings for him. Suddenly she felt a shiver run through her body and it had nothing to do with the cool air.

He frowned as he stepped back towards the couch, "You cold?"

She sat up slowly, "Um...a little. Hairs still wet…" She said with a laugh, "But I'm fine."

He looked towards his closet, "Do you uh...want to borrow something?"

She blushed slightly, "What?"

He quickly looked down at the floor and scuffed his shoes on the wood, "I don't want you to be cold...you should be comfortable while we watch a movie. I could give you some sweatpants and a sweatshirt...I don't mind."

Lifting her hand, she tucked a strand of frizzy hair behind her ear, "Um...well okay...if you're sure…"

He nodded and walked towards his closet, "You can change in the bathroom...they will probably be a little big but…"

She stood up, walked towards him and took the clothes, "That's okay."

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and nodded, "Um...pizza should be here soon. I'll get whatever movies I have lying around and you can pick…"

"Okay." She started to walk towards the bathroom but paused, she turned back to him and whispered his name softly, "Luke?"

He had been walking back towards the kitchen but turned when she called out to him, "Yeah?"

She took a deep breath and held his clothes close to her body, "Thank you…"

The rawness and sincerity in her voice cut through him like a knife and all he could do was smile. "Nothing to thank me for…"

She laughed slightly, "There's a million things I should thank you for that span over the last seven years...but I don't think I have the time or strength…"

He blushed and looked down, "Go change...you'll feel better when you're more comfortable."

She nodded slowly and turned towards the bathroom to change into his clothes. Luke stared at the door even after he heard it click shut behind her. He felt his body start to react to the realization that she was on the other side of that door taking her clothes off. And then she was going to put his clothes on her...the clothes he wore so often would be covering the skin he had craved for so long. He took a deep breath and shook his head, reminding him he was here to comfort her as a friend and nothing more. She didn't need any more complications.

And oh yeah...there was the slight fact that he was married that he should probably consider too. With a heavy sigh he turned back towards the kitchen to gather plates, silverware and drinks for them both. When he was done he turned back to the where the TV was by the couch and he bent down to look in his small cabinet of movies. He quickly set aside all the sports films knowing she wouldn't necessarily be interested.

He was sorting through another stack when he heard the bathroom door open slowly, he glanced up and quickly dropped the DVD case in his hands. She was standing in the doorframe in only his sweatshirt, her legs were bare and she had a nervous blush rising on her cheeks. "The uh...the pants were just way to big. They kept falling off...I'm sorry."

He stumbled slightly and then turned back towards the cabinet, "What? It's fine…"

She walked with her barefeet across the floor, placed her clothes and shoes on the floor beside the couch and then curled up in the position she was in before. She reached for the throw blanket at the back of the couch and threw it over her legs. "Safe now…"

He turned towards her again and blushed, "Um...you know I think I should change too. You can pick whatever you want to watch...sorry my collection isn't better."

She smiled, "I'm impressed you have any movies at all…"

He rolled his eyes playfully, trying to push aside the image of her bare legs, "I'm not a total hermit…"

She smirked, "Could have fooled me." She whispered playfully.

He only shook his head and walked towards his dresser, pulling out more comfortable clothes for him to wear. She took a deep breath, and tried to not think about the fact that he would be naked so close to her in just seconds. She threw the blanket aside and knelt down in front of the cabinet looking through the movies. She smiled when she saw he had placed "Field of Dreams", "Brians Song", "Rudy" and "Bull Durham" in a pile. She decided to surprise him and pick up the "Field of Dreams" DVD case and stand up to turn back towards the TV.

He walked out and blushed slightly when he saw her bare legs again, "Pick a movie?" He asked trying to sound as casual as possible.

She nodded and held up the case, "It may surprise you but I actually like this movie…"

He smirked, "Probably only because you had a crush on Kevin Costner back in the day."

She gasped, "How did you know that?"

He rolled his eyes, "Lorelai you hardly ever stop talking...I've picked up a thing or two over the years believe it or not."

"I assumed you blocked me out the majority of the time." She said with a laugh.

He shrugged, "Sometimes I can't…"

She smiled and handed the movie to him, "You could be missing some real words of wisdom when you block me out. But now you'll never know…"

He sighed dramatically, "No. I guess I won't. But somehow I think I'll live…" He said bending down to put the movie in, he eyed her out of the corner of his eyes and had to clear his throat to pull himself together when he realized he could almost see up under his sweatshirt against her bare legs.

She glanced down and blushed, turning she walked back towards the couch and quickly covered up with the blanket again. He flipped the TV on and went to settle in beside her on the couch again when he heard a knock on the door.

"You left the Diner open?" Lorelai asked softly.

"Nah. I told Joe where the spare key was so he could just bring the pizza up. I trust him." He said with a shrug. "You wanna grab those plates and stuff?" He said gesturing towards the kitchen table."

She nodded and waited until his back was turned to her before she went to the table to gather the supplies. She placed it all on the coffee table in front of the couch and went back to get the two beers he had taken out for them too. She settled into the couch, made sure to cover herself up and waited for him to join her. She heard him speaking to Joe and exchanging money before walking the pizza box over to where she sat.

He placed it in front of her and lifted the lid, "Half veggie half meat lover? You know me so well."

He smirked, "I've made your food almost everyday for the last 7 years...of course I know you."

She pulled a slice out and took a large bit, making a moaning sound she saw him blush, "God I didn't realize how hungry I was…"

He nodded, "You haven't been in much lately...you need to eat to keep your strength up."

She smiled, "I don't have the time or the money to eat Luke…"

He frowned, "Lorelai…"

She sighed and settled into the couch, "Can we just watch the movie? I thought we weren't going to talk about any of the stressful stuff for the rest of the night?"

He sighed knowing she wasn't going to budge on this topic, "Fine."

She nodded slowly and reached for her beer, "Thank you."

Luke glanced over at her noticed how comfortable she looked in his apartment, on his couch, and in his clothes. He had dreamed of nights like this...just the two of them. Sure he had dreams that were much more intimate too...but the dreams like this were just as good. He would do just about anything aside from committing a felony to make this woman happy...even if it was sometimes torturous to him. This in itself was slightly torturous considering all he wanted to do was kiss her but he knew he couldn't...for many many reasons.

Rather than cause any more issues for her, he sat back on the couch and decided to play it as cool as possible. For both of their sakes…

* * *

Half way through the movie, Lorelai was practically asleep. She had somehow moved closer to him during the movie, her eyes were half open as she watched the screen in front of her. "Do you think the Inn will be like the field?"

He turned towards her and noticed how close her head was to his shoulder, "What?"

"The whole "If you build it they will come" thing…" She said through a yawn, "If I build the Inn...will the people come? Or will it be a giant life altering disaster?"

He smiled sadly at her, "Lorelai people will come…"

She turned towards him sleepily, "You really think so?"

He lifted a hand to push her still damp hair away, "I know so Lorelai...you can do this. It's going to be amazing...you are amazing."

She blushed slightly and then leaned in closer to rest her head against his shoulder, "At least you think so…"

It was quiet after she spoke, and when he heard the shift in her breath he knew she had fallen asleep. He froze, unsure what he should do. Should he wake her up? Move her to the bed? Would she want to go home?

He didn't want her to go home...he liked having her here. He especially liked having her so close to him. The blanket had shifted slightly and her long, bare legs were poking out to the side and he couldn't help but stare. He cursed himself mentally when image's of Nicole popped into his head. The feelings he was experiencing were wrong...but they had always been there. Before Nicole...and they would be there after Nicole.

With a heavy sigh he realized that it was time for after Nicole to start sooner rather than later. He had tried to make it work but he knew that he would never be able to give himself to her the way she deserved. His heart wasn't in it...because it belonged to this woman beside him. He turned his attention back to the movie and decided to let her sleep...she needed it. And he was pretty sure as soon as she woke up she'd run as far away from his as possible. He might as well enjoy what little time he had with her while he could.

* * *

Sometime early in the morning, a dream about an unfinished Inn haunted Lorelai enough for her to wake up. She glanced around, feeling disoriented and confused about her location. She frowned and turned her head when she felt a warm body pressed against her. She gasped slightly when she saw that she was lying on the couch wrapped up in Luke's arms. His breathing was slow and steady and he had a arm wrapped securely around her, a hand rested on her lower back. The sweatshirt she was wearing had ridden up her body and now rested just below her breasts, his hand was on her bare skin.

She grimaced slightly and tried to think of how to get away from him. This was wrong. It was all kinds of wrong. She tried to pull herself up slowly but he moved beside her. She glanced over at him and noticed he hadn't woken up so she tried again but this time she shifted awkwardly and landed lying over him.

This time his eyes fluttered open and suddenly she was breathing heavily. Her eyes searched his for some sign of understanding but instead his hand lifted to her cheek and caressed it gently. She couldn't resist leaning in to his touch, and when he tugged on the back of her neck she didn't resist. Before she knew what was happening, their lips met in the softest of kisses. She pulled away slightly and saw that he was still staring directly at her. She expected to see shock and regret...but all she saw was love and desire.

She bit her lip gently and leaned back down again until their lips met. This time it was more firm, more passionate and deliberate. She was lost in the sensation of his lips against hers until she felt his tongue trace her bottom lip. She jumped back and scrambled off the couch before he could catch her.

"Oh my God." She mumbled to herself as she pulled at his sweatshirt, "Oh God. Oh crap." She said crouching down to grab her clothes, "I-I-I'm so sorry! I should go. I'll-"

"Stop." Luke said sitting up on the couch, "Lorelai don't-"

"I'm sorry." She mumbled again, "God I don't know what's wrong with me I-"

"Would you stop for one second?" He asked as he pulled himself up off the couch.

She stopped, turned towards him and immediately he saw that the tears had returned in her eyes, "Oh Luke...I'm sorry. I'm so...so incredibly sorry."

He sighed and ran a hand over his tired face, "What exactly are you sorry for?"

She bit her lip and glanced down feeling ashamed, "Nicole…you're…" She sniffled slightly, "I shouldn't be here...I shouldn't have come here like this…"

He watched as she started to turn back towards the door. She was running just like he had figured she would when they woke up. He must have fallen asleep before the film ended, he wasn't sure how they ended up so horizontal. And to be honest when his eyes found hers, he had assumed it was all just another one of his vivid dreams. But when their lips met...it felt so much more real. It wasn't until he felt her scrambling away from him that the reality of the situation hit him full force…

She was halfway towards the door when he whispered, "Don't go…"

She came to a quick halt and turned back towards him, "What?"

He sighed and shrugged his shoulders, "Don't go." He said more firmly.

She gasped slightly, "But Luke-"

"Yes. I know. I know that there are a million and one reasons why you should go...why I should tell you to go but…" He smiled sadly, "But I don't care...I really don't."

"Luke…" She whispered his name so softly he wasn't sure he had even heard her.

"I don't care about all the reasons why not. The only thing I care about is…" He paused and then laughed sadly, "Is you Lorelai. I care about you. I want you. I've always wanted you…"

She stepped back once, "What?"

He groaned and ran his hand through his hair, "Come on...you can't be that surprised."

She looked down and then back up at him, "I...I care about you too Luke. But…"

"But what?" He asked softly, when she didn't respond he sighed again, "Do you love that...that guy you're with?"

She frowned, "Jason?" He nodded and she shook her head quickly, "No. God no. He's just...he's just there. So I don't have to be alone…"

He shrugged, "And you're okay with that?"

"What do you mean am I okay with that?" She asked.

"I mean...is that what you want? Just someone there so you aren't alone? Don't you want more than that?" He asked gently. "Don't you want...a real partner. Someone you can...someone you can talk to about your problems and worries...your fears and…" He shrugged, "Just everything?"

She sighed and looked down at her bare feet, "Luke…"

"You said you wanted a partner...someone to pick up the slack." He stepped towards her and noted how her breath caught in her throat, "Someone to wait for the cable guy...to make you coffee in the morning...meet the stupid sink guy before it gets back to Canada…"

She placed her free hand against her stomach trying to control her breathing, "Luke…"

"I already make your coffee every morning...and I'm pretty sure I've waited for the cable guy for you before. I'll wait for the stupid sink guy...I'll pick up the slack. I'll be your partner." He lifted her face with his hands and smiled, "I'll hold you when you need it...not just on a cold park bench...but at night when you need to vent after a crappy day. I'll be there Lorelai...I've always been here and I'm always going to be here."

She whimpered softly, "But you're married…"

He nodded, "And I can get unmarried if you tell me you want this too…" He laughed slightly, "Well to be honest I will get unmarried even if you tell me to go to hell…"

She shook her head, "I could never tell you to go to hell. Unless I was going there too which I probably am for thinking what I'm thinking about a married man…" She said with a pout.

"Lorelai…" He whispered hopefully.

"Luke I need you. I've always needed you. You're the only person I can truly count on 100%. But…" She sniffled, "But this isn't right…"

He sighed, "I know there are complications...but that doesn't make it wrong...we just have to fix a few things."

She stepped away slowly, "God this is crazy! This is absolutely insane!"

He frowned, "No it isn't. Lorelai we were always meant to end up here…"

She ran a hand through her hair, "But not like this...you're feeling sorry for me because I'm a total mess not that I'm not a mess usually but now I am more than usual. And you're married. I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who I don't care about at all but still...that would be betraying him and Nicole and also ruining our friendship probably which will kill me because I depend on our friendship so much. But I-"

"Lorelai. Stop." He said reaching for her hand slowly, "Just stop…"

She took a deep breath, "I'm dreaming right? This is just another one of my crazy dreams?"

He smiled gently, "No. It's not a dream...but I thought it was for a second when we woke up. I've had plenty of dreams about you Lorelai...but this is the most real one to date. And if I wake up in a minute I'm gonna be really pissed…"

"Luke…" She said giving him a strained look.

He squeezed her hand tightly, "Lorelai tonight...did not go the way I imagined it would. To be honest I had no idea what you wanted when you asked me to dinner...there were things I wanted to happen but didn't think would-"

"I bet you didn't think I'd fall apart and ask for 30,000 dollars." She said with a smirk.

"No…" He shrugged, "But I will admit that I hoped that you...you'd end up here somehow."

She blushed, "Luke…"

He sighed, "I know I sound crazy...or terrible because I'm married but this is what I want Lorelai. I want to be the guy to take care of you...I want to be the guy you turn to with your problems."

"You already are." She said searching his eyes slowly, "You've always been that guy…"

He nodded, "Sure...but I've always just been your friend…"

She sighed and began to give into her hesitation, "Oh Luke...you've always been more than just a friend…"

Her words ignited that spark inside of him again and he couldn't hold back any longer. He pulled her flush against him, crashing his lips to hers in a fiery kiss. She gripped his strong shoulders as his arms wrapped securely around her waist.

When he finally pulled away for air, she rested her forehead against his, "This is crazy…" She whispered again.

"Yeah. It probably is but it's also…" He trailed off unsure how to finish his sentence.

"Right. It's also right…" She whispered in response.

He nodded slowly, "Yes. It is Lorelai...this is right. WE are right."

She took a deep breath, "Luke I...I can't be the other woman. I won't be the other woman...and I need to break it off with Jason before we can try and...figure this all out."

He nodded slowly, "I know. I'll call her in the morning." He paused, "Or well...at a more decent hour in the morning…"

She smiled softly, "Luke…"

He took a deep breath and rubbed circles against her hips, "You're...you're not going to change your mind are you?"

She shook her head, "I don't think I could even if I tried…"

He glanced back to the couch where they had been curled up together just minutes before, "I know that...things are complicated but…" He sighed, "Would you stay?"

She stared at him hopefully, "I told you I didn't want to be alone…"

"You aren't." He said with a shrug, "You never have been...I've always been right here."

She smiled and nodded her head slowly, "I know...I was just to scared to see it."  
He nodded in understanding, "Come on...it's still early…"

She hesitated slightly, "Luke…"

He turned back to her and squeezed her hand, "Just sleep...I promise. Nothing more…"

She took a deep breath and knew that she couldn't leave even if she tried. She needed him. She had always needed him...and she was tired of pretending otherwise. She felt her feet move forward and he smiled as he lead them both back towards the couch. Somehow it seemed safer than the bed for now…

She watched as he rearranged the cushions on the couch and lay back down. She crawled up beside him and nestled into his side like she had been before. She wrapped her arms around his middle and held on tightly, trying to quiet the voices in her head telling her to run. She didn't want to run from Luke. She wanted to stay here wrapped up with him forever because he was her safety net. And despite all the unknowns ahead of her...she knew that no matter what happened he was always going to be there to catch her.

He always had.

And he always would… 

* * *

**Hope you liked it :) That was always one of my favorite L/L scenes and I always wondered what would have happened if it was extended. This was just my version of what could have been. Totally inspired by the song. If you have never heard it you should listen because it is a beautiful song :)**

 **As always I will update when I get inspired again!**


	21. I Got You

**Hey guys this is a one-shot I started after the passing of Edward Hermann. Finally found it in me to finish it. Based on the song "I Got You" by Jack Johnson. Warning Character death.  
**

 _Back when all my little goals seemed so important_  
 _Every pot of gold fill and full of distortion_  
 _Heaven was a place still in space not in motion_  
 _But soon_

 _I got you_  
 _I got everything_  
 _I've got you_  
 _I don't need nothing_  
 _More than you_  
 _I got everything_  
 _I've got you_

 _We went walking through the hills_  
 _Tryin' to pretend that we both know_  
 _Maybe if we save up_  
 _We can build a little home_  
 _But then the hell storm came and yelled,_  
 _"You need to let go, you've got no control_  
 _No"_

 _I got you_  
 _I got everything_  
 _I've got you_  
 _I don't need nothing_  
 _More than you_  
 _I got everything_  
 _I've got you_

 _This weight's too much alone_  
 _Some days I can't hold it at all_  
 _You take it on for me_  
 _When tomorrow's too much_  
 _I'll carry it all, I got you_

 _And when tomorrow's too much_  
 _I'll carry it all I got you_

 _I got you_  
 _I got everything_  
 _I've got you_  
 _I don't need nothing_  
 _More than you_  
 _I got everything_  
 _I've got you_

* * *

Lorelai Gilmore Danes was standing in her kitchen doing the dishes from breakfast. Luke had left just a short time before to open the Diner. She was supposed to take her 4 year old son William to preschool and two year old daughter Olivia to Babette's who watched her on the days that Lorelai worked. She was just drying the last dish when she heard the pitter patter of her son's feet on the kitchen floor.

"Momma?" Will asked as he pulled at her dress slightly, "Something's wrong with Paul Anka."

Lorelai turned to look at him and took a deep breath, "What?"

"He's not moving...Livie is trying to get him to wake up." Will said as he shook his head, "But he won't wake up."

Lorelai scooped him up and walked into the living room to see Olivia leaning on Paul Anka, "Wakey wakey…" She whispered.

"Oh no…" She put Will down and quickly picked up Olivia, "Come on guys. Let's head upstairs. You can hang in my room for a bit, maybe watch some cartoons?" She reached for Will's hand and started leading them upstairs.

"But what about Paul Anka Momma?" Will asked as he let his mother lead him upstairs.

"It's okay buddy." She swallowed hard and put them both on the floor in front of the TV, she grabbed the remote and turned on Sesame Street for them. "Now you guys stay here for a bit, okay? Mommy needs to make a phone call."

The two young children quickly tuned into the characters on the screen and forgetting all about Paul Anka down stairs. Lorelai closed the bedroom door and ran back downstairs to grab her cell phone on the table, she couldn't look at Paul Anka.

"Pick up. Pick up." Lorelai rambled to herself as the phone rang and she tried to keep her tears from streaming down her face.

 _"Luke's." She heard the familiar deep voice._

"Luke...it's me." She said with an emotional voice, "It's...Paul Anka's...gone. And Will found him and I...I don't know-"

 _"I'll be right there." Luke said hanging up the phone quickly._

She took a deep breath, sat down at the kitchen table and tried to calm herself. Paul Anka was just a dog, but he had been a big part of her life in the last few years. When things had gone bad with Luke...he had been the biggest comfort for her. Many nights she lay in bed holding him tightly as she cried herself to sleep, even when Christopher was around.

He was an eccentric dog, but he was the perfect dog for her. All the quirks that Paul Anka had somehow fit along with her quirks. The idea that he was lying in the next room dead was to much for her to bare.

"Lorelai?" Luke called as he walked into the foyer.

She stood up quickly and walked over to meet him, "Luke…"

He sighed when he saw her, he knew how much Paul Anka had meant to her. And even though when she first got him he had pretended to not like him, over the years he had grown on him. And then seeing him with their children had made him love him more. Paul Anka had been Will's best friend since day one. He insisted on sleeping in front of his crib and eventually his bed every single night.

He pulled her in for a hug, "It's okay...it's okay…" He whispered as he rubbed her back.

"The kids found him and I feel terrible...I didn't know what to say." She said as she cried against his shoulder.

"Where are they now?" Luke asked as he held her close.

"I put them upstairs in our room. They are watching TV...I didn't want them to look at him like that." She said as she sniffled and pulled away.

He nodded, "Why don't you go upstairs with them...I'll handle it."

She watched him turn towards the living room before she grabbed his arm, "What are you going to do?"

"Well he can't stay here...I guess…" He shrugged, "I guess I'll take him to the vet? They probably deal with this sort of thing, right?"

She shook her head and squeezed his arm, "I...I want him here."

"Lorelai…" He said with a sigh, "I know you don't want to let him go but...he can't stay here."

She shook her head again and began to wipe her tears away, "Can't we...bury him in the backyard? He should be close."

He swallowed hard and leaned in to kiss her forehead, "Okay. Go upstairs…"

She nodded and quickly walked up the stairs towards her bedroom. She joined the kids on the floor and pulled Olivia into her lap and tried her hardest not to cry. Downstairs, Luke walked into the living room and sighed when he saw Paul Anka lying on his side. He took a deep breath, picked him up and began to walk into the back yard. He placed his body down on the ground and went to to the garage to find a shovel. He picked a spot under a large tree in the yard and slowly began to dig a deep hole.

Twenty minutes later, Lorelai was still upstairs with the kids. Will walked over to his Mom and poked her on the shoulder, "Momma?"

Lorelai glanced over at him quickly, "Yeah bud?"

"Can we go play with Paul Anka now? Is he awake?" Will asked with a sad smile on his face.

Lorelai swallowed hard and shook her head, "No buddy. Not right now." She kissed Olivia's cheek and set her down next to Will, "I'll be right back."

Lorelai walked out of the room and down the stairs, she saw that Paul Anka was gone and she felt the sob grow in her throat. She walked to the door in the kitchen that led to the backyard and noticed that Luke was just finishing up the digging process. She walked back to the living room and over to the corner where Paul Anka had a bed in the corner. She lifted the red blanket off the bed that he loved so much, she could still smell him on it.

She turned and walked back out to the yard just as Luke was about to pick up Paul Anka. He stopped and glanced up at her, "What's that?"

She swallowed hard and walked over to him, "I don't want him to be cold…"

Luke nodded and stood up to take the blanket from her, he grabbed her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze, "He had a good life with us Lorelai…"

She nodded and tried to smile, "I know…"

He kissed her cheek again and took the blanket and wrapped it around Paul Anka until he was all covered. He heard Lorelai start to cry behind him and he picked him and began to walk back towards the hole. He heard her walk behind him and he stopped when she put a hand on his back. He turned and saw her place a hand over the blanket, she leaned down to kiss where his head was.

She stood back and watched as Luke lowered him down into the ground. She sniffled and wrapped her arms around herself as she watched Luke began to fill the hole with dirt again.

"Momma?" A small voice called out to her.

Luke stopped what he was doing and Lorelai turned to see Will and Olivia standing behind her staring at their parents curiously, "Buddy…" Lorelai whispered, "I thought I told you to stay upstairs."

Will frowned, "I saw Daddy pick up Paul Anka through the window…" He turned towards his Dad and Luke saw tears burning in his son's eyes, "What are you doing Daddy?"

Lorelai turned quickly to Luke with a scared expression on her face. Luke put the shovel down on the ground and walked over to his two young children and kneeled down in front of them.

"Bud...remember how we talked about where my parents are?" Luke asked as he put a gentle hand on his son's shoulder.

Will nodded, "They are up in heaven."

Luke nodded, "That's right…" He glanced back at Lorelai and reached for her hand, pulling her closer, "Well...Paul Anka went to go meet them in heaven buddy."

Will shook his head, "Well...can't he come home again?"

Luke swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head, "No buddy he can't come home again. He's up there with my parents and they will take good care of him. I promise."

Will peeked around his Dad and stared at the hole, "But...I'm going to miss him."

Luke nodded slowly, "I know...we all are."

Will looked at his Mom, "You gave him his blanket? He loves his blanket." Lorelai nodded slowly, "I don't want him to be cold…"

Lorelai sighed and leaned down to pick him up and pull him into her arms, "Me either buddy. And he won't be…"

He rested his head against his mother's shoulder and sniffled. Lorelai glanced at Luke and gave him a nod, she picked Olivia up in her other arm and brought them back into the house. Luke continued to bury Paul Anka as best he could. When he walked back into the kitchen, he washed his hands and found Lorelai cuddled on the couch with the kids reading them a book.

He sighed, walked over and sat down on the floor in front of the couch and Olivia crawled into his lap. He kissed her head and reached a hand up to run his hands through Lorelai's hair which he knew calmed her when she needed it. They sat there together as a family and tried to deal with what was happening as one.

* * *

 _ **3 years later...**_

 _"Luke's." Luke barked into the phone._

"Dad...something's wrong with Mom." Will said into the phone, "Grandma called and Mom started crying. She went upstairs to her room and she won't come out."

 _"I'll be right there." Luke said to his son, "Stay with your sister, okay?"_

Will hung up the phone and walked into the living room where his sister was sitting and coloring on the floor. He sat down on the couch and waited patiently for his Dad to come home. When the door finally opened, he turned and saw his Dad.

"Stay here bud." Luke said placing his keys down on the coffee table before he took two steps at a time and made his way up to his bedroom.

He cracked the door open and looked around the room, "Lorelai?" He glanced around the room and didn't see her anywhere.

He looked to the right and saw a light coming through the crack under the bathroom door. He took a deep breath, walked over to the door and pushed it open. He saw her leaning against the tub, her legs were brought up to her chest and she was crying harder than he had ever seen her cry.

"Lorelai…" Luke whispered as he knelt down in front of her, "Honey...what is it?"

She took short breaths trying to calm herself as she lifted her head to look at him, "My Dad...he's...he's…"

She didn't need to finish her sentence, he knew what she was trying to say. He swallowed hard and sat down beside her, he pulled her against him and she immediately buried her face in the crook of his neck and began to cry.

"I'm so sorry…" Luke whispered as he held her close and rubbed her back, "It will be okay. I'm here...I'm right here."

She squeezed him tight to her and continued to cry, "He can't be gone…"

His heart ached for her, he knew the pain of losing one's parents and he wished he could ease that pain for her, "I know...I know…"

He rocked her gently back and forth as she cried until she couldn't cry any harder. Finally, he was able to lift her off the floor and bring her into their bedroom. He pulled the blankets down and lay her down on the bed. He kissed the top of her head as her tired eyes closed and she began to drift off to sleep.

With a heavy heart, he turned and walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs to find Will and Olivia playing on the floor. Will looked up first and seemed to sense that something was wrong by the look on his Dad's face. He stood up and walked to the couch and didn't look at his Dad. Olivia looked up from her toys and smiled at her Dad, "Is Mommy okay?"

Luke took a deep breath and reached out to his daughter, "Come here Liv…" She took his hand willingly and let him lead him towards the couch where Will sat quietly. "Mommy is...very sad right now."

He sat down and lifted Olivia onto his lap, she glanced at her Dad and frowned, "Why is Mommy sad? I don't want Mommy to be sad…"

Luke nodded and kissed his daughter's forehead, "I know honey but…" He took a deep breath, "Grandpa…" He glanced over at Will who was still not looking at him, "Grandpa...went to go meet my parents today."

Olivia kicked her legs back and forth, not fully grasping what her Father was telling her, "In heaven?"

Luke nodded slowly as he felt tears prickling in his eyes, "Yes...in heaven."

Will looked at his Dad, his face was blank, "He's gone?"

Luke nodded and reached a hand out to him, "Yes buddy. I'm...I'm so sorry." He tried to pull him closer but Will pulled away from him, "I know this is hard to understand…"

"It means we won't see him again. Like when Paul Anka died…" Will said with an anguished look on his face, "But why?"

Luke sighed, "It's just...it's something that happens to everyone bud. We have talked about this. I know it's confusing...and sad...but it's just part of life."

"Well I don't like it!" Will said as he jumped up and away from his father, "I don't want Grandpa to be gone! And I don't want you to go to heaven either! Or Mom!"

"You and Mommy will go to heaven too?" Olivia asked as she glanced at her Dad with a worried expression, "You can't go!"

Luke sighed and squeezed her tightly, "Honey...Mommy and I aren't going anywhere right now. We're here. It's just something that happens when people get older...Grandpa was old. It happens...but I don't want you to worry about it right now."

"I don't believe you!" Will said angrily as he ran to the stairs.

"Will…" Luke called out to him, "Buddy I-"

"I don't believe you!" Will yelled again as he ran up the stairs and to his bedroom.

"Luke?" A familiar voice called from the foyer, Luke turned and saw Rory standing behind him, tears in her eyes, "Grandma called me…"

"Daddy?" Olivia whispered as she pulled at his arm, "I don't want you to go to heaven…"

Luke felt the tears burning in his eyes as he kissed Olivia's forehead, "I know baby. I know…"

Rory sighed and walked towards them, "Let me hang with Liv. You go see Will…" She sat down on the couch and took a deep breath, "How's Mom?"

He glanced over at her with a sad smile, "She's asleep...she hasn't said much."

Rory nodded slowly and pulled her youngest sister into her lap, "Let her sleep…"

Luke nodded, "Are you...are you okay?" He asked putting a hand on her shoulder, he knew how much Richard meant to Rory, "What can I do?"

Rory sniffled and pulled Olivia against her chest, pressing a kiss to her head as she tried to keep her tears in, "I'm just...sad." She sighed softly, "But...I'm okay. Go check on Will."

Luke gave her shoulder a squeeze and then walked towards the stairs. He walked quietly to his son's room trying to make sure his wife could still sleep if she hadn't woken up after Will's outburst. He pushed the door open and saw his son sitting on his bed pulling at the teddy bear in his hands, it was the one Richard had brought to the hospital when Will was first born. Luke stepped into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed cautiously.

"I don't want to talk about it." Will said in a angry voice, it was times like these when Luke saw so much of himself in his son.

"I know you don't Will...but I think we have too." He whispered to him. "Tell me what you're thinking bud…"

Will swallowed hard and tossed the worn bear aside, "I'll never get to talk to him again…"

Luke felt his heart squeeze in his chest, he reached over and took his son's hand, "Not in the way you used too...but I talk to my Dad all the time. He can't answer...but sometimes it's nice just to say it outloud."

Will wiped at his eyes, "Someday you're gonna die...and Mommy too."

"Someday yes…" He whispered back pulling his son closer to him, "Someday we all die...I wish it wasn't like that Will but it is."

"I miss Paul Anka. And now I miss Grandpa already." He said into his chest, "I don't like it. I don't like feeling like this."

Luke squeezed him tight, "I know you don't...and trust me I understand that feeling. It's scary and painful but...everything is going to be okay."

"Is Mommy okay?" Will asked in a small whisper, "I don't want her to be upset…"

Luke opened his mouth to respond but another voice filled the room, "I'm okay little man…"

Will and Luke glanced towards the door and saw Lorelai leaning against the wall. Will jumped down from his Dad's lap and ran towards his Mother. She picked him up and held him close. He was getting bigger by the day but she would hold onto these moments for as long as possible. She felt the tears prickling in her eyes again as she squeezed him.

"I'm sorry Mommy…" Will whispered into her.

Lorelai walked into the room and sat down on the bed, Will crawled back up to where his pillows were. Lorelai followed him and Luke tucked in behind her so that he could be close to them both. Lorelai pulled Will close and let him rest his head against her chest as she ran her hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry if I scared you…" She whispered to her son, "I was just...shocked."

"It's okay." Will said as he lifted his head to look at her, "Is it okay that I called Dad? I was worried…"

Lorelai smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, "It's more than okay Will. You did the right thing." She pulled him back against her, "Are you okay bud?"

Will sighed and closed his eyes, "Just sad…"

"I know." She whispered into his curly hair, "But we'll get through this."

Lorelai felt Luke give her arm a squeeze and held them both close. The next few days and weeks were going to be difficult but they could get through it together.

* * *

On the day of the funeral, Luke was trying to get Olivia ready for the day. He was doing his best to get everything in order so that Lorelai had as little to worry about as possible. Rory and Lorelai came down the stairs dressed and ready to go. Luke gave them both an encouraging smile and they tried to reassure him they were fine.

"Where's Will?" Rory asked glancing around.

Luke sighed and looked up towards the stairs, "Will buddy we gotta go. Come on."

Lorelai knelt down and started to smooth out her youngest daughter's hair just as Will came down the stairs. She turned and saw him carrying a blue blanket in his hands, she frowned and stood up slowly.

"What's the blanket for Will?" She asked curiously.

Jack looked up at her and shrugged, "Like with Paul Anka...I don't want Grandpa to be cold…"

Lorelai felt her stomach flip flop and she had to grab onto the back of the couch to stand up right. Luke grasped her hand feeling her strength begin to falter. He heard the sob escape the back of Rory's throat and he sighed.

"Um Will...that's really sweet of you buddy but...but I think Grandpa will be okay." Luke whispered staring directly at his son.

Will looked at his Mom and oldest sister and saw the pained look on their faces, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No. Nothing." Luke said shaking his head, "Why don't you bring that back up to your room and then we will get on the road okay?"

Rory shuffled Olivia out of the living room leaving Luke and Lorelai alone for a moment. Her eyes were closed tight and he cupped the back of her head and pulled her up against him, "Lorelai…"

She shook her head, "I can't right now...I can't…"

He nodded and kissed the side of her head, "I'm gonna be right beside you okay? All day...no matter what. I'm gonna be right here…"

She nodded and pulled away just as Will walked back downstairs. He took his Father's hand and they walked out to the cars to head to Hartford to face the day.

* * *

After the services they went back to the Gilmore Mansion where friends and family gathered to mourn together. Emily spent the majority of the time snapping at the staff, demanding total perfection. Luke tried to rangle the kids while Lorelai ran around after her Mother trying to keep her calm. Rory mingled with guests trying to keep a positive front for the entire family.

"Mom stop…" Lorelai whispered as she grasped at her Mother's arm, she was currently rearranging the flower arrangements, "You need to eat something...you need to sit."

"This looks terrible. Who puts roses next to orchids? I won't allow this." She said reaching for another vase.

"Mom no one cares about the flower's right now…" Lorelai whispered, "You haven't had a thing to eat all day...you need to relax."

"Just because your Father is gone doesn't mean I will allow the house to fall apart!" Emily screamed.

Lorelai grimaced, "Mom I'm not-"

"And I am tired of being the only person who knows how to handle things around here!" Emily said reaching for another vase.

"Mom…" Lorelai pleaded as guests began to look questioningly towards them.

"Oh this is just ridiculous-" Emily's words were cut off by the loud smash of a glass vase on the floor.

Everything went still as Lorelai and Emily gazed down at the flowers and water seeping into the antique rug, "Mom let me help-" She began.

"Since when do you want to help?" Emily sneered at her, "You weren't around for 16 years and now you want to help?"

Lorelai jumped slightly at her Mother's words, she felt Luke's eyes boring into her back, "I…"

"Do you know how much you hurt your father when you left the way you did? Just disappearing in the middle of the night with a note? As if you hadn't disappointed him enough and then we had to explain to our friends where you had gone off too." She sneered.

Lorelai felt her heart sink to her stomach and suddenly Rory and Luke were both at her side, "Grandma let's go get you cleaned up…" Rory whispered trying to get her to calm down.

"You are the one that caused your Father's stress and heart strain so long ago." Emily said still glaring at Lorelai.

Luke started to pull Lorelai away, "Emily that's enough."

"You broke his heart! You broke both of our hearts and he kept this family together. Now he's gone and what use is it to try and-" Emily continued.

"I said that's enough." Luke cut her off, "I understand that you are hurting right now." He said staring directly at his Mother-In-Law, "But you will not stand here and break Lorelai down. I will not allow it."

Emily's face softened slowly, "Lorelai I…" She suddenly seemed to realize what she had said, "I…"

"Grandma come on…" Rory whispered, knowing now wasn't the time to try and fix the damage.

Emily reluctantly let Rory lead her back towards her bedroom. Luke pulled at Lorelai's hand but she seemed rooted in her spot. He leaned into her and whispered into her ear. She slowly pulled herself together and let him lead her out of the dining area. He caught Sookie's eye and she gave him a swift nod assuring him she would look after the kids.

Luke ushered Lorelai into the pool house knowing it would be empty. She stood awkwardly by the couch for a moment and Luke didn't know what to say. So instead he walked right up to her and pulled her flush against his body. Immediately he felt her begin to shake against his chest letting him know she was crying. He squeezed her tightly and pressed gentle kisses to the side of her face.

"It's okay…" He whispered.

Lorelai shook her head against him, "She's right...I hurt him so much. I was such a disappointment. Such a terrible daughter-"

"Hey." He said in a stern voice as he pulled away, "Don't you say that. You were not a disappointment or a terrible daughter."

"But I wasn't Luke...I was everything he didn't want." She said through tears, "He expected so much more from me. He thought I'd be different."

"Lorelai…" He whispered as he held her face in his hands, "Your Father loved you. He was so proud of you for the way you raised Rory and how you built a business from the ground up. He adored you. Your Mom is just sad right now...she didn't mean anything she said."

Her face crumpled again and she felt back into his arms, "Why does it hurt so bad?"

He sighed and sat down on the couch, he pulled her down with him and back into his arms, "Because you loved him too…"

"But she was right about one thing...I missed so much time with him. So much…" She cried into his chest.

He kissed the top of her head and ran his hand through her hair, "Lorelai don't...it will just drive you insane."

She clung to him and let her emotions rush through her, "Luke…"

He squeezed her gently, "I'm right here…"

"I have to go first." She whispered, she felt him shift against her, "Okay? I go first…"

He grimaced, "Lorelai…"

"No. No Lorelai...no buts…" She said holding him tighter, "I go first because I can't breath without you…"

He swallowed hard and pushed her back slightly, "Lorelai…"

She shook her head again but kept his gaze, "I mean it Luke. I'll turn into her if you go first. You're the only thing that keeps me sane. I need you. I can't function in a world where you don't exist. Been there done that and I refuse to do it again so I die first."

He sighed and pulled her back into his arms, "And what makes you think I can function in a world where you don't exist?"

"Because you're stronger than I am…" She whispered to him.

He shook his head, "I'm a good actor...nothing makes sense if you're not there. I've already told you that a million times. So I want to go first."

"We could always pull a Notebook and die together…" She whispered.

He couldn't help but laugh, "What are the chances that would actually happen?"

"Probably slim to none…" She said with a sigh as she pulled away and rested her head on the back of the couch, "But I wish it would happen…"

Luke leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips, "Tell me what to do to make you feel better…"

She smiled sadly, "There's nothing you can do Luke...you know better than I do how much this sucks."

"I suppose I do." He said with a heavy sigh as he reached for her hand, he lifted it to his lips and kissed it gently, "It hurts like hell…"

She nodded slowly, "Today when Will...when he brought down that blanket I thought I was going to pass out. I didn't let myself think about what was happening today until now...the fact that he's just...he's in there...in the ground like that…"

He frowned, "I know…but you know he can't feel it anymore."

She nodded, "I know...he's not in pain. He's better off but...I just miss him. I miss how tall he was and how despite the fact that he pretended to be really tough he was a softie underneath it. I miss hearing him talk about stupid books that I will never understand." She sniffled "I miss...just miss him."

"I know…" He whispered as he scooted closer to her, "He loved you...just remember that."

She nodded slowly, "I know...I know he did."

He lifted her head slowly, "And I love you."

She swallowed hard, "I love you too." She sighed, "Thank you for...being here."

He smiled, "I'm always going to be here...just like you're always here for me."

"Guess it's part of the marriage vows thing huh?" She teased pulling at his wedding ring on his left hand.

"Guess so…" He whispered reaching for her ring finger as well.

She sighed and looked around the empty pool house, "We should go back…"

"We don't have too…" He whispered, "We can hide for a little while longer if you need too."

She turned to him and smiled, "I have to face her at some point…"

Luke gave her one nod and then leaned in to press a kiss to her lips, "She loves you too...just remember she's hurting too."

She pulled away and was about to speak when she saw her Mother standing in the doorway. "Mom…"

Luke glanced towards Emily and noticed the tears in her own eyes. He glanced back at his wife and saw that she was ready to face this. He leaned forward again and kissed the side of her face. Lorelai gave him a smile and watched him walk towards the door, he tentatively reached for Emily's hand.

"Luke I'm sorry…" She whispered to him, "The way I acted…"

Luke shook his head, squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek, "You loved him. I know...it's okay." He pulled away, "Talk to her...I'll take care of everything inside."

Emily waited until Luke walked away and then turned towards her daughter. She stepped into the pool house and glanced around, "I don't know how your father ever lived here when we were separated...it's so small."

"He wanted to be close to you." Lorelai whispered from her spot on the couch.

Emily sighed and turned back towards her, "Lorelai...the things I said were terrible. I didn't mean them I just…" She walked to the couch and sat down beside her, "I don't know what a world without your Father looks like. I've been Richard Gilmore's wife for so long...I can't remember how to be just Emily."

Lorelai smiled, "You'll never be just Emily...you'll always be fierce, tough, feisty Emily Gilmore. Wife, mother, granddaughter, friend and all around badass."

"Lorelai…" She said with a deep laugh.

She smiled, "I mean it Mom...I don't know what a world without Dad looks like either but...we can do this. You aren't alone…"

Emily stared at her for a moment, "Did I ever tell you the story about the first night we brought you home?"

Lorelai shook her head, "I don't think so…"

Emily took her hand in hers and pulled it into her lap, "We finally got home and your Father was frantic. I put you in the bassinet and he was running around the house trying to get rid of anything that could potentially hurt you. I tried to tell him that he had time to baby proof since you wouldn't be crawling around anytime soon but he wouldn't listen. He stayed up all night looking for sharp corners and open electrical sockets. When he finally fell asleep I found him on the floor beside your bassinet...I didn't even try and wake him up. I knew he wouldn't move even if I asked...he wanted to keep you as safe and as close as possible."

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Really?"

Emily nodded slowly, "Your father loved you more than anything Lorelai. He was so proud of the woman you became. Yes we all made mistakes...we all said and did things to hurt each other over the years. But...your father's love was never a question. He adored you. I hope you know that."

Lorelai nodded slowly, "I do know that…and I loved him too." She paused for a moment, "And I love you too Mom...even though I don't say it all the time."

Emily took a sharp breath, "I love you too Lorelai I'm just…" She sighed sadly, "I'm scared.."

"I know…" Lorelai whispered as she leaned into hug her Mother tightly, "But we're going to be right here with you Mom. I promise."

The two Gilmore women sat and cried together until they couldn't cry anymore. When they were ready they pulled themselves together and walked back to the house. As the guests filtered out of the house and night fell. Lorelai helped her Mom get ready for bed and then waited until she fell asleep. Downstairs, Rory was asleep on the couch with Will and Olivia.

Luke was finishing cleaning up when she walked up to him. She took his hand in hers and snuggled into his chest, his arms instinctively around her waist, "Luke…"

He squeezed her tight, "I've got you…" He whispered as he rocked her back and forth.

"I know." She whispered into his chest, "You always do.."

Luke led her over to the couch next to their three kids and sat down. Lorelai slipped off her shoes and curled her legs up under her as she leaned back against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tangled his hand in her hair as they watched the kids sleep. Life was moving around them but in this moment...all that mattered was they had each other now and always.

* * *

 **I can't wait for the revival but I am going to be so sad when they address Richard being gone. I picture Emily being angry and upset about it. But I also picture it bringing Lorelai and Emily closer in the end. Hope you liked it.**


	22. Die A Happy Man

Hi guys! Chapter 22 is another rated M chapter so it is under "Luke and Lorelai a Playlist: (The Rated M Chapters!). To get there all you have to do is click on my name (JoyfulheartEO) And you will see the link for that part of the story which also contains two other rated M chapters.

Set during the summer between season 5 and 6 after Lorelai proposes, before Paul Anka, before the renovations and before Rory and Lorelai make up. Luke will do anything to make Lorelai happy again. ;) Hope you enjoy!


	23. Beast of Burden

**Got this idea while driving home from work today and this song came on the radio. An oldie but a goodie! Based on "Beast of Burden" by The Rolling Stones. Set in season 3 before Alex (fish boy) and Nicole. Lorelai's flirting with Luke gets the better of her and the rest of the town. When Patty calls her out on it in a very public way, will Lorelai finally admit her feelings? Or will she still need a little push in the right direction from her daughter and Luke? Read and find out! Don't forget to review! ;) Thanks guys!**

 **"Beast of Burden" by The Rolling Stones**

 **I'll never be your beast of burden**  
 **My back is broad but it's a hurting**  
 **All I want is for you to make love to me**

 **I'll never be your beast of burden**  
 **I've walked for miles my feet are hurting**  
 **All I want is for you to make love to me**

 **Am I hard enough**  
 **Am I rough enough**  
 **Am I rich enough**  
 **I'm not too blind to see**

 **I'll never be your beast of burden**  
 **So let's go home and draw the curtains**  
 **Music on the radio**  
 **Come on baby make sweet love to me**

 **Am I hard enough**  
 **Am I rough enough**  
 **Am I rich enough**  
 **I'm not too blind to see**

 **Oh little sister**

 **Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, girl**  
 **Pretty, pretty**  
 **Such a pretty, pretty, pretty girl**  
 **Come on baby please, please, please**

 **I'll tell you you can put me out on the street**  
 **Put me out with no shoes on my feet**  
 **But, put me out, put me out**  
 **Put me out of misery**

 **Yeah, all your sickness I can suck it up**  
 **Throw it all at me I can shrug it off**  
 **There's one thing baby that I don't understand**  
 **You keep on telling me I ain't your kind of man**

 **Ain't I rough enough, oh honey**  
 **Ain't I tough enough**  
 **Ain't I rich enough in love enough**  
 **Oh please**

 **I'll never be your beast of burden**  
 **I'll never be your beast of burden**  
 **Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be**

 **I'll never be your beast of burden**  
 **I've walked for miles my feet are hurting**  
 **All I want is for you to make love to me**

 **I'll never be your beast of burden**  
 **I'll never be your beast of burden**  
 **Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be**

* * *

One sunny, warm spring afternoon, Lorelai sat at the Diner at the counter nursing her cup of coffee. She had a purple dress on with a big scoop neckline, showing off her cleavage just so. It fell just above her knees, and her long legs were dangling in front of the stool, her feet were strapped in a pair of nude heels. Every time Luke passed he had to will himself not to look at her. The second she walked through the door his body reacted in ways he knew were inappropriate for the work day and for a friendly relationship.

She always drew him in no matter what she was wearing. But today...today he felt like she was trying to torture him. It didn't help that whenever he was standing behind the counter, she would lean forward to talk to him showing him a little more than he was ready for. And when she touched his arm, laughing about something Kirk did he felt like his body had been lit on fire.

"I can't believe how warm it is…" Lorelai said pulling at the light sweater she had on, "It's not usually this warm yet."

When she slid it off her body and her slender arms were showed to him, he had to look away, "Uh huh…"

"I feel like I could go swimming in the lake today!" She said placing it on the empty stool beside her, "I guess I have to go bathing suit shopping soon."

He groaned, "Oh yeah?"

Visions of Lorelai in his favorite red bikini at the lake flooded his brain. He loved the way that the sun created a pattern of freckles on her skin. He couldn't pretend that for years he had thought about tracing those very freckles with his tongue…

"Yeah. I want a new one." She said resting her chin in her hand, "Maybe a strapless one so I don't get any bad tan lines this year…"

He paused and had to close his eyes shut tight, "Oh yeah?"

Lorelai opened her mouth to say something again but was interrupted by another voice, "Oh for God sake...are you trying to kill the man?"

Lorelai and Luke both turned to see Patty staring at them with a smirk on her face, "Excuse me?" Lorelai asked.

Patty chuckled, "Seriously Lorelai...how much more can the poor guy take?"

Lorelai blushed and sat up straighter, "What-"

"Patty…" Luke said through gritted teeth, "I don't think-"

"I mean you come in here in that dress with that body…" Patty said ignoring them both as she gestured her hands up and down, "And then you talk about bikini's and take your sweater off?"

Lorelai swallowed hard, "Patty I'm not-"

"We've all been waiting for years for you two to get together. Just get it over with!" She said with an eye roll.

Lorelai put a hand to her chest and scoffed, "Luke and I are just friends."

Luke couldn't pretend that those words didn't cut him like a knife, "Yeah Patty...we're just friends."

Patty raised an eyebrow, "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt kids…"

Lorelai hopped off her stool, "And what do you mean you've all been waiting for us to get together?"

"We've got bets on it." Kirk piped up from the other end of the counter, "I keep losing money...so I'd appreciate it if you make it official by next Christmas...that's where I am on the timeline now."

Lorelai gasped, "You've put bets on us?"

Luke sighed, "Lorelai just ignore them it's not-"

"We had a town meeting about it a few years ago when we thought for sure it would happen…right around the time you helped Luke paint the Diner." Babette joined in.

"That was me just helping him as a friend…" Lorelai said quickly, "That's what friends do! They help each other do things."

"How many friends do you have that would come over at all hours of the night to fix things in your house, Patty?" Babette asked nudging her old friend.

Patty asked, "My friends that come over at all hours to fix things aren't fixing household items dear…"

Both women giggled and Luke had to turn away, Lorelai was blushing, "That's not fair…"

"Don't forget about the chuppah he built her for her wedding to Max." Andrew said from his table with Gypsy, "That was a big gesture."

"And remember the time he helped take care of Rory when she had the chicken pox?" Gypsy added.

"He did that because he cares about Rory…" Lorelai said pointing at him.

"Right...he only cares about Rory." Babette chuckled as she looked into her cup.

Lorelai scoffed again, "Luke and I are just friends!"

"Prove it." Patty said turning her body to face her fully.

"What?" Luke and Lorelai asked at the same time.

Patty smirked, "I said prove it."

"And how exactly do I do that?" Lorelai asked hands on hips.

The older women raised an eyebrow, "Kiss him and say you don't feel anything."

"Now wait a second-" Luke started but Lorelai was already walking behind the counter, "What are you doing? You can't be back here."

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah I know. Your insurance won't cover it...blah blah blah…" She waved his hands away, "I'm gonna kiss you now so shut up."

Luke jumped back, "No you aren't!"

She stomped her foot and glared at him, "Kiss me Luke Danes! We have to prove to these people that there is nothing going on between us."

"Yeah Luke...kiss her." Patty said leaning against the counter, holding her chin up with her hand.

Luke turned back to her and glared, "You stay out of this-"

He was trying to finish his sentence but Lorelai had grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him against her. The last thing he saw before his eyes instinctively fluttered shut were her deep blue eyes. He had dreamed about kissing her for years...what it would feel like to have her lips pressed against his. He wondered what she would taste like...he assumed she would taste like coffee. And she did...but there was a hint of vanilla and something more in there. And he couldn't get enough…

But all too soon she was pulling away from him. Her eyes were wide as she stared back at him, her breathing was labored. She looked stunned. He couldn't look away from her as she licked her lips and turned back to Patty.

"See…" She said through quick breaths, "Nothing. I felt nothing. Just friends."

She stepped around the counter so fast Luke couldn't even process what was happening. He couldn't find his voice but he knew that everyone was still staring straight at them. He was vaguely aware of Lorelai gathering her stuff.

"Where are you off to so quickly?" Gypsy said with a knowing smirk.

"Big meeting at the Inn. Have to run." Lorelai said throwing things into her bag, she slammed some money down on the counter, "Bye!"

No one had ever seen her move so fast, and there was a snicker heard throughout the room. LUke cleared his throat, straightened out his shirt and glanced around at them all, "What?"

"You alright there buddy?" Andrew asked with a laugh, "That looked like one hell of a kiss…"

Luke glared at him, "Eat your Tuna melt and get out of here would you?"

Patty giggled, "You got it bad…"

"You need to stop gossiping so much." Luke said grabbing a rag and growling at her, "You're always looking for drama in town. Lorelai and I are just friends."

"You should be nice to be Luke…" Patty said with a smirk, "I helped you get what you've always wanted-"

"And how do you know what I want?" Luke asked throwing the rag down on the counter.

"Because it's written all over your face how much you love her…" Patty whispered back, "I just figured it was about time to push you both in the right direction."

Luke sighed, "She's my friend. That's it…"

Patty leaned back and shrugged, "If you say so…"

"I do say so!" Luke said feeling his heart race in her chest, she had left already and still her scent lingered, "Son of a bitch!" He yelled angrily.

Babette laughed again, "Boys got it bad…"

"I'm taking a break!" Luke called to Caesar in the kitchen, "You can put up with these nut jobs!"

Luke stormed up the back stairs and into his apartment. He slammed the door shut to his apartment and leaned against the door, trying to remind himself to breath. What the hell had just happened? And more importantly...had she felt that spark too?

* * *

Back at her house, Lorelai burst through the front door and immediately cursed herself. She threw her bag on the ground and went straight for the living room, she started to pace frantically.

"What the hell did I just do?" Lorelai asked throwing her hands up, "What have I done?"

"Mom?" Rory asked walking into the living room, "Are you talking to yourself again?"

Lorelai jumped, "Jesus kid! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you still be at that big fancy, expensive school of yours?"

Rory laughed, "Half day...remember?"

She swallowed hard, "Oh right. Teacher development...right. Good. Great." She said as she continued to pace.

Rory narrowed her eyes at her, "Mom...you're starting to make me nervous. You alright?"

"I'm fine." Lorelai said waving a hand at her as she continued to pace, "I'm good."

"Right…" Rory said walking further into the living room, "What's going on?"

"I kissed Luke!" Lorelai blurted out, her hands covered her lips and she cringed when she remembered how good her lips felt against his.

Rory gasped and fell down on the couch, "Whoa...you kissed Luke?"

"Yes!" Lorelai yelled, "Stupid Patty! Stupid town and their bets!"

"Oh shoot." Rory said with a sigh, "I had Thanksgiving this year for the pool...you couldn't have waited until then?"

Lorelai gasped and turned to stare at her daughter, "You were in on the bet?"

Rory shrugged, "Obviously…"

"What is wrong with you people?" Lorelai yelled, "Luke and I are just friends!"

Rory rolled her eyes, "Mom...you and Luke have never been just friends. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife…"

"That's an interesting way to talk to your Mother…" Lorelai said defensively.

She laughed, "Mom...you and I have never held anything back. I've always assumed at some point something would happen between you and Luke…"

"Rory…" Lorelai whispered softly collapsing down on the couch beside her.

"It's okay…" Rory said with a shrug, "I don't mind."

"Luke and I are just friends." Lorelai said quickly.

She laughed again, "You sounded like a robot just then. How many times have you said that very thing?"

"Today or in general?" Lorelai asked with a cringe.

"Let's start with today…" Rory said continuing to laugh.

"I don't know...a million?" She said with a sigh as she leaned back against the back of the couch.

Rory nodded, "And how many times did you actually believe it?"

Lorelai groaned loudly and grabbed a pillow, pulling it over her head, "Ahhhhh!"

Rory smirked, "Admit it Mom...you care about him. And as way more than a friend…"

From under her pillow, Lorelai's muffled voice filled the room, "I don't wanna…"

She giggled again at her Mom, "You may not want too...but I think this time you have too."

Lorelai peaked at her from under the pillow, "But…"

"Look…" Rory said with a sigh, "At least he's a good guy...at least we know that he can be counted on. At least we know that he cares about you. That's saying a lot compared to the other schmucks you dated."

"You liked Max." Lorelai said with a frown.

Rory shrugged, "He was fine...but I didn't think he was right for you."

She pushed herself up and stared straight at her daughter, "And you think Luke is right for me?"

Rory smiled and reached for her hand, "Yes. I do...I think you could see that too if you finally really looked at him."

"I look at him all the time…" Lorelai said rolling her eyes and turning away from her, "I see him everyday…"

"But do you actually see him?" Rory asked, "Do you see who he really is? Do you see how much he does for you? What he's done for us? Don't you think there's a reason he's always been so good to us?"

"Because he's just a good guy!" Lorelai said throwing her hands up in the air, "Because that's what real friends do. They look out for one another!"

"True…" Rory whispered, "But...don't you think he goes above and beyond what normal friends do? I mean the chuppah-"

She jumped off the couch and started pacing again, "Yes. The Chuppah…and the fixed porch rails...the time he came over in the middle of the night to fix the dryer so that I could get your Uniform clean for school. And how he pretended to mess up orders so that I could eat when he knew that I couldn't pay for them...how he taught you how to drive when I totally panicked. And the time he took me home and put me to bed when I had too much of Patty's punch at my first fire light festival. He was such a gentlemen…" Lorelai whispered and stopped her pacing, "He could have taken advantage of that situation…"

Rory smiled, "But he didn't...and why do you think that is? It's not just because he's a good guy Mom…"

She swallowed hard, "It's because...because he cares about me." Once the words left her mouth, she fell onto the couch again, "Oh my God...he cares about me."

Rory laughed again, "Yeah Mom...he cares about you. And not just as a friend…"

"Luke Danes cares about me. He likes me." She said pressing a hand to her chest.

Rory nodded, "Uh huh...and I think maybe...just maybe…" She laughed again, "You care about him too." She laughed, "Did you pick that dress out just to torture him today?"

Lorelai gasped and glanced down, "What does everyone have against this dress?"

"I hate to say this because you're my Mom but…" She shrugged, "You look great in that dress Mom and I am sure Luke noticed it. He always notices...do you know how many times I've caught him staring while we were at the Diner?"

"But he's Luke…" Lorelai whispered, "I can't like Luke...do I like Luke?"

"That's a question only you can answer…" Rory whispered as she went to get up off the couch.

Lorelai frowned and sat up straighter, "Where are you going?"

"I have plans with Lane. I'll be back later…" Rory said with a smirk, "Much later…"

"But Mommy needs you!" Lorelai pouted as she flung herself down on the couch again.

Rory laughed, "I think you'll survive without me. Bye!"

As she walked out of the house she couldn't help but laugh at the loud, frustrated groan that came from the house. She got in the car and started to drive off into town. Mrs. Kim was at a Bible Study seminar in Boston for the night leaving Lane alone. This gave Rory the perfect opportunity to sneak junk food into the Kim household, something that was never allowed.

As she drove into town, her mind wandered to her Mom and Luke. Since they had met him...Rory had been able to see that there was a connection between her Mother and the local Diner owner. And as the years progressed, she could see that it was more than just a physical attraction between them. It was something much deeper than that…

Her Mom had asked once how she would feel if she dated Luke. And truthfully the thought scared her at first. Lorelai wasn't the only one that cared about Luke...he had become a big part of Rory's life too. He had taken care of her when she had the chicken pox. Helped clean up her first scraped knee when she fell of her bike outside the Diner. He had buried a caterpillar for her and even built it a tiny little coffin. He had snuck her extra cookies, donuts and pie almost every night that she could think of. And mostly he had provided a place for her and her Mother to meet at the end of each day.

Of course she had thought about what it would be like if they dated. And part of her loved the idea...but the other part was afraid of what it would mean if they didn't work out. She didn't want to see either of them get hurt. But...Rory was heading to college next year. Her Mother would be alone for the first time ever...and more than anything she wanted to make sure that her Mom was happy and taken care of. She knew that more than anyone else...Luke would take care of her better than anyone else could…

As she stepped into Doose's, she started filling her cart up with chips, candy and soda. The girls would gorge themselves with as much food as they could until they felt sick. As she was paying at the register, her eyes looked out the window and she spotted the Diner. With a smile, she figured a little coffee would be a good way to round out the banned food items. Had to take advantage of a Mrs. Kim free house…

She dropped her groceries in the car and then walked into the Diner. When the bells jingled above the door, Luke's head snapped up. He froze for a moment when he saw Lorelai's daughter walking up to the counter.

"Hey…" He whispered as he tried to wipe down the counter.

"Hey Luke…" Rory said with a smile, "Think I can get two coffee's to go?"

Luke swallowed hard, he assumed the second coffee was for Lorelai and she was avoiding the Diner after their kiss earlier. "Oh sure…"

Rory watched him turn to grab two to go cups, she saw the way his shoulders slumped, "The second one is for Lane if you were wondering…"

Luke swallowed hard as he started to pour coffee into the containers, "Oh...I wasn't wondering…"

He turned and slid the cups towards Rory, "You weren't assuming one was for another brunette with dark blue eyes? One that looks kinda sorta like me but only prettier? At least in your opinion…"

He blushed, "Rory I-"

"I heard what happened earlier…" Rory whispered.

He groaned, "Everyone in this town has too much time on their hands and such big mouths…"

She laughed, "I actually heard it from Mom…"

He froze again, "Oh. Well...it was just to prove a point. We're just fri-"

"I'm going to Lane's for the night…" She said cutting him off, "We both had half days at school and Mrs. Kim is gone for the night...first time she's ever let us stay there alone."

Luke smiled, "Didn't think I'd ever see the day that that happened…"

Rory laughed, "Me either. But supposedly her cousin is supposed to come check on us at some point...but he has tickets to some rock concert in Hartford so he said he'd lie for us."

He chuckled, "Lucky you."

"Yup." Rory said reaching into her pocket for money, "But of course that means Mom is home…" She smirked, "All alone…"

He swallowed hard, "Oh…"

"And if you were bored…" Rory said with a shrug, "Couldn't hurt to go see her, right?"

"Rory we're just fri-" He tried again.

She smiled, "Sure. I know...so go see your friend…" She picked up the cups and started to walk towards the door, "See ya around Luke."

Luke watched her go, his mind was racing a mile a minute. Was Rory giving him permission to date her Mother? Was she hinting that Lorelai had told Rory what happened because she wanted to date him too? Did she feel it? How could she not feel it? He was sure he wasn't the only one who felt that...the spark...the intensity. He had never felt that while kissing anyone else...With a shake of his head he tried to distract himself with work once again just as he always did…

A few hours later, distraction was out of the question. All thoughts went back to Lorelai. Back to those lips that could move a mile a minute...and how damn good they felt against his own. He knew that he had to kiss her again...now that he had had a taste he had to have more. He looked at the clock...it was 7:00 now and Lorelai hadn't come in for dinner. He knew her well...he knew she would avoid him.

But damnit...he was tired of avoiding his feelings…

He went back to the kitchen and started to put a few things together to bring her. He checked in with Caeser to see if he could go out for the rest of the night. He packed up the truck, checked himself in the mirror and then shook his head. He was who he was...and she was either going to like him or not…

By the time he reached the front door, his nerves got the best of him. His heart was pounding in his chest. He wasn't sure how she would react to seeing him...would she be happy? Would she turn him away? Would she be angry or upset?

Taking a deep breath, he knew it was time to bite the bullet. Lifting his hand he knocked on the door and waited...after a few moments she opened the door. Her face dropped when she saw him and so did his heart…

"Hi…" He whispered, suddenly feeling like this was his worst idea ever.

She stood up straight and gripped the doorknob, "H-Hi…" She stammered.

He cleared his throat and nervously held up the bgs of food, "You didn't come in for dinner...so I thought you might be hungry."

"Oh…" She said glancing at the bags in his hands, "That's sweet...but I uh…" She rubbed the back of her neck nervously, "I ordered some pizza...just finished actually."

He felt dejected already, "Oh...okay. That's fine. I'll-"

"Luke…" She whispered softly, "I'm really sorry about earlier. I don't know what I was thinking. Patty and the rest of them just threw me for a loop and you know how stubborn I am…"

He smirked, "Oh I know…"

She blushed slightly, "I had to make a point…"

He let out a shaky breath, "Right...yeah. I get it…just proving a point. Proving we are just friends…"

She bit her lip nervously, "Luke…"

"Uh see the thing is…" He laughed sadly, "I…" He paused again, "We…"

She grimaced slightly, "Luke…" She tried again.

He took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eyes, "I like you." He paused, "As more than just a friend…"

She swallowed hard and just stared at him, she felt like she had lost her ability to speak. His eyes were searching hers frantically, trying to find anything to latch on too. Any sign of hope that she may feel the same way but her face looked blank…

He frowned and shook his head, "Right. Okay." He lifted the bags, "I'll uh leave these here and you can just have them tomorrow or something...should heat up just fine. Not burgers so…" He placed them at his feet, "See ya…"

He was just about to step down when she called out to him, "Wait!"

His heart stopped for a moment before he turned back towards her, "Lorelai…"

"Do you want to come in?" She asked quickly, afraid she'd chicken out if she hesitated again.

He swallowed and glanced back at his truck, he should probably run to the safety of his apartment again. But just like always she was able to pull him in. "Okay…"

She nodded slowly, leaned down and picked up the bags of food before turning to walk into the house. She left the door open behind her, signaling she wanted him to follow. He gathered his thoughts and then quickly followed. While he heard her rummaging around in the kitchen, he walked to the living room. He wasn't sure if he should sit...so instead he stood awkwardly in front of the fireplace waiting for her to return.

After a few minutes, she returned. He watched her nervously rub her hands against the tops of her pants, she didn't meet his eyes. He was about to say something to her to ease the tension, but suddenly she was crossing the living room with a few quick steps. Her lips descended on his again and he quickly melted into her embrace. This time he reacted better because he didn't have a Diner full of customers watching them.

His arms slipped around her body and pulled her flush against his body. He heard her moan into his mouth which urged him on so he slipped his tongue between her lips. He felt his knees tremble slightly at that new sensation. But before he could get used to it, he felt a rush of air against his skin. His eyes flew open and he realized she was on the opposite side of the room again pacing.

"Lorelai…" He whispered hoarsely.

"Oh God...I'm sorry." Lorelai muttered as she continued to pace back and forth, "Shit! What is wrong with me? What am I a love sick teenager who's never been kissed before?"

His ears prickled at the mention of the word love, but he knew he had to keep his head on straight right now, "Lorelai…"

"I'm cray! This is crazy!" She said throwing her hands up in the air, "You're Luke and I'm Lorelai!"

He frowned slightly, "What does that mean?"

"It means we're friends." She said flinging around to stare at him, "We're good friends! Best friends even! I mean, aren't we?"

Luke nodded slowly, "Well...yeah. Yes...But-"

"Yes...we flirt." She said ignoring him again as she started to pace again, "It's what we do. We bicker, banter and flirt but it's all innocent, isn't' it?"

He laughed a little, "Uh sometimes it's not that innocent...or at least it doesn't feel that way."

"Luke…" She groaned, "I didn't mean...am I…" She paused, "God do you think I'm just some big tease?"

He sighed, "No...I don't' think that...but I do think that there's a reason we flirt and bicker so much."

She ignored his comment and continued rambling, "And all that stuff everyone said...about you helping out. The fixed porch rails, stoves, taking care of Rory the way you do…" She paused, "I mean was it all just to try and get into my pants?"

He stepped back and frowned, "Excuse me?"

"I mean that's what I felt that they were insinuating." Lorelai said still not looking at him, "I felt like they were saying you were just nice to get sex-"

"And what do you think?" Luke asked suddenly feeling defensive, "You think I just did all that to what was it you said? 'Get in your pants?'"

She stopped and turned back to him again, "Luke…"

"Is that what you really think of me?" He asked putting his hand against his chest, "You think I'm that shallow? You think I'd spend all these years doing this crap just in the hopes of getting you in bed?"

She felt so small all of a sudden, "N-No...I didn't. I don't-"

"Because if you do...then you sure as hell don't know me at all." Luke said with a sad sigh.

She ran a hand through her hair, "I just...I don't…" She groaned and walked over to the couch, plopping down feeling defeated, "I can't do this."

Luke sighed and stared at her, "Lorelai…"

She frowned and looked up at him, "Why are you so nice to me? Why are you always there exactly when I need you?"

He smiled sadly, "I already told you...I like you as more than a friend."

She took a deep breath, "But it's not just about a sexual thing…"

He shook his head, "No Lorelai...it's not. You know me better than that...I'm not that guy."

She cringed for a moment, "My dress today...was too much wasn't it?"

"Lorelai what do you want me to say?" He said with a sigh, "Yes I find you incredibly attractive. And yes that dress today was…" He laughed to himself, "Pretty much a torture device…"

"Oh Luke…" She said with a sigh, "But you aren't supposed to be the guy that I fall for."

He felt his heart jump in his chest, "Why? Why not? What's wrong with me?"

She immediately heard how her statement sounded and she jumped up, "No! Nothing! I didn't mean it like that!"

He sighed, "Maybe they are all right...maybe I am a sucker for you. Maybe I'm just sitting here hoping and waiting for you to finally give me a chance. But I really don't think that you would flirt so much if you weren't a little interested too…"

She stared at him, "But you're Luke…"

He groaned, "What the hell does that mean? Why do you keep saying that?"

"It means you are such a big important piece of my life and if we cross that line…" She said trailing off.

"I think we already have...twice today." He said with a smirk, "Both of which were initiated by you I might add."

"But you're Luke…" She mumbled again.

He shook his head, "You know what...forget it." He started to turn away from her, "I don't know what you want from me. I get that I'm probably below you and all that-"

"Luke no!" She tried again following him towards the door.

"But I've been standing right here the whole time." He said never turning back towards her, "But I don't want to be a burden to you anymore. I'll leave you alone."

His hand hit the door knob again and she yelled out to him once more to stop him, "Don't go!"

He sighed and slammed his hand against the door, "Lorelai I can't do this…"

"You're right…" She whispered in a nervous voice, "You're right Luke…"

He turned back to her and sighed, "What are you babbling about now?"

She swallowed hard, "They're all right…"

"Lorelai can you talk in complete sentences here? I'm tired. It's been a long day and I just made a total fool out of myself in front of you. I need a beer and I want to go to sleep…" He said sadl.

"I like you Luke…" She whispered softly, "As more than a friend…"

He stood up a little straighter, "Lorelai…"

"And I knew that before today. But I got frustrated with Patty trying to interrupt and everyone else...so I just acted on impulse just like I always do because I have so many issues." She said ranting quickly, "Seriously they should do a study on me. I need extensive therapy."

"Lorelai…" He tried again taking a small step towards her.

"You have always been there. And I've always felt it and yes okay...I flirt too much. And yes maybe I pick out certain outfits because secretly I want to get a reaction out of you." She said still not meeting his eyes.

"Oh you get reactions out of me…" He said with a chuckle as he walked even closer to her.

She still ignored him, "But I never let myself deal with those feelings head on because you're Luke!"

He groaned, "Seriously, say that one more time Lorelai and you'll see me finally snap!"

"I need you in my life…" She whispered, urging herself on, "I am not supposed to need people but I need you."

He sighed and stepped all the way up to her finally, "Lorelai…"

"And if we cross that line...I won't be what you expected and you'll leave. And I won't just lose a boyfriend...I'll lose my best friend." She said her eyes welling up with tears.

Luke smiled softly, "I think if you haven't scared me away yet...there isn't anything you could to send me for the hills now."

She shook her head, "Don't say things like that...because you don't know that for sure."

Throwing caution to the wind, he cupped her face with his hands, "I'm going to kiss you now, okay?"

She swallowed hard, "Luke…"

"Not because Patty dared me too...or because everyone else has a bet on when it will happen. I'm going to kiss you because I want too…" He put emphasis on the word I which sent a shiver down her spine.

She didn't have time to respond, his lips met hers and she once again melted into him. This was their third kiss and it was even better than the first. Every inch of her body tingled and she felt like she could probably float off the ground. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she pulled him closer, afraid to pull away and chicken out again.

When they both needed air, he finally pulled away and rested his forehead against her, "Lorelai…"

She breathed him in, "God I really like you…"

He smiled, "Yeah?"

"Yes." She said as her eyes fluttered shut and she swayed against him, "Remind me to send Patty a fruit basket tomorrow as a thank you for forcing me to finally kiss you…"

Luke chuckled, "I'll probably give her free breakfast from now until the end of time…"

"That seems fair…" She whispered as she leaned up to kiss him again, "So totally fair…"

He moaned into her mouth and felt her begin to walk backwards towards the living room, "Where are you going?"

"I need to be a little more horizontal.." She said turning him quickly and pushing him down onto the couch.

Luke groaned and then quickly caught up with his senses. She straddled his waist and leaned down to kiss him again, he was powerless to her advances. After dreaming about her for so long, he couldn't get enough of her. He wanted more. He wanted it all. He wanted her.

When her lips lowered to his neck he shivered, "Rory's at Lane's for the night.." She whispered.

He sighed when he felt her warm breath against his skin, "She told me...she told me to come check on you since you were all alone."

She lifted her head and stared down at him, "She did huh?"

Luke smiled and pushed back a lock of her hair, "Yeah...I think that warrants free breakfast for her too."

She rolled her eyes, "You've never charged Rory for anything. Why would you start now?"

"Fair point…" Luke whispered as he carefully rolled her over so he was hovering above her, "I may had had selfish motives for that though…"

She blushed as she stared up at him, "Oh yeah?"

"Mhm…" Luke whispered as he leaned down to tease her neck this time, "It's always important to make sure that the girl you like's kid likes you too…"

She giggled when he nibbled on her earlobe, "That's one thing you don't' have to worry about. That girl adores you…"

Luke lifted his head to stare at her, "I adore her too…" He smiled, "You too…"

She bit her lip as she stared up at him nervously, "Are we really doing this?"

He smiled and glanced down at their position, "We don't have to do _this_ just yet if you aren't ready...I can wait."

She smiled softly, "We've waited a long time already…"

He shrugged, "A little longer won't kill me…"

She lifted her hand to push the blue cap off of his head, the one she had given him so long ago, "It might kill me…"

He chuckled, "Lorelai…"

She took a deep breath, "I like you Luke Danes. As more than a friend." She repeated her words from earlier, "I want this. I want you. I want us…"

That's all he needed to hear. He watched her for a moment just long enough for her to slip out from under him. He stared up at her in awe of how far they had come in the last few minutes. She smiled sheepishly at him as she held her hand out to him, "You coming?"

He watched her for a moment before whispering, "It's not just about sex…" He needed her to understand that, he needed her to know who he was and what he wanted.

She smiled lovingly at him, "I know. You're not that type of guy…"

He pushed himself up slowly and stood in front of her, staring down into her deep blue eyes. Those eyes that drove him crazy. And he knew he was finally going to get the girl…

"No. I'm not…" He whispered, "And you're not that type of girl. You're special…"

She blushed, "I don't know about that-"

He smiled and cupped her face gently, "I do." He leaned down and kissed her gently, "I like you Lorelai Gilmore."

Her eyes fluttered open again, "I like you Luke Danes…"

He kept her gaze for a moment before breaking the tension, "I wonder who will win the bet...do you know who was up for this week?"

Lorelai laughed and started pulling him towards the stairs, "No clue. And quite frankly right at this moment I don't give a damn…"

When she turned and started sauntering up the stairs away from him, he felt his heart do flips in his chest, "Neither do I…"

She giggled when she heard him start to take the steps two at a time. She raced towards her bedroom and heard him hot in her heels. When the door slammed shut behind him, she knew she had nothing to be afraid of anymore. Her daughter and the rest of this crazy town was right...he was the right guy for her.

And it was about damn time she finally admitted it...

* * *

 **So there you have it. Just a quick one shot and addittion to my playlist. Hope you liked it! In the process of writing the next chapter for "If You Ever Want To Fall In Love" so that will be up soon! Thanks guys! :)**


	24. Fade Into You

**Hey guys! This is a one-shot for the Playlist series that I wrote so long ago and forgot about it. I stumbled across it while I was starting the new chapter of "If You Ever Want To Fall In Love". I figured I'd post it while you were waiting for the new chapter. It takes place after their first date and the aftermath of their first time together. They both get a little overwhelmed and caught up in this new phase of their relationship and they both have to find a way to deal with it. Set to the song "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star which was featured in season 1 I believe during Rory's first dance. I always loved this song and thought it fit well with Luke and Lorelai. So here you go!**

 **It's rated M so it is under the Luke and Lorelai: A Playlist (The Rated M Chapters) so head over there to see it. Either by clicking on my name JoyfulheartEO and picking that story or by using the filters to go to the M section and finding the story there. Thanks guys!**

 **If You Ever Want To Fall in Love will be updated either by tomorrow or by Wednesday at the latest! Thanks!**


	25. Better Together

**Hey guys! This is just a quick one-shot that popped into my head today. I honestly have no idea why I thought of it...I even picked the song after I wrote it. Usually I hear a song and get the idea but it was** **reverse** **this time.**

 **It takes place in season 6 when Luke gets upsets because he thinks Lorelai is trying to get rid of him when she suggests he go camping alone. Lorelai decides she wants to do something nice for him because he was so good to her since Rory left. It goes along with the song "Better Together" by Jack Johnson. It's a lot shorter than many of the other one-shots but I like that it's short and simple and just a sweet moment between them. Hope you enjoy!**

 _"Better Together"_

_There's no combination of words_  
 _I could put on the back of a postcard_  
 _No song that I could sing_  
 _But I can try for your heart_  
 _Our dreams,_  
 _And they are made out of real things_  
 _Like a shoebox of photographs_  
 _With sepia-toned loving_

 _Love is the answer._  
 _At least for most of the questions in my heart._  
 _Like: "Why are we here?", "And where do we go?",_  
 _"And how come it's so hard?"._  
 _It's not always easy,_  
 _And sometimes life can be deceiving_  
 _I'll tell you one thing:_  
 _It's always better when we're together_

 _Mmm, it's always better when we're together_  
 _Yeah, we'll look at them stars when we're together_  
 _Well, it's always better when we're together_  
 _Yeah, it's always better when we're together_

 _And all of these moments_  
 _Just might find their way into my dreams tonight_  
 _But I know that they'll be gone_  
 _When the morning light sings and brings new things_  
 _For tomorrow night you see that they'll be gone too_  
 _Too many things I have to do_

 _But if all of these dreams_  
 _Might find their way into my day-to-day scene_  
 _I'd be under the impression_  
 _I was somewhere in between_  
 _With only two_  
 _Just me and you_  
 _Not so many things we got to do_  
 _Or places we got to be_  
 _We'll sit beneath the mango tree now_

 _Yeah, it's always better when we're together_  
 _Mmm, we're somewhere in between together_  
 _Well, it's always better when we're together_  
 _Yeah, it's always better when we're together_

 _Mmm, mmm, mmm_

 _I believe in memories_  
 _They look so, so pretty when I sleep_  
 _Hey now, and when I wake up,_  
 _You look so pretty sleeping next to me_  
 _But there is not enough time,_  
 _And there is no, no song I could sing_  
 _And there is no combination of words I could say_  
 _But I will still tell you one thing_  
 _We're better together._

* * *

 _LORELAI: Hey, Grizzly Adams. Why are you back? The woods closed or something?_

 _LUKE: No, they weren't closed. I was...I don't know. It's...what it is. Nature._

 _LORELAI: Nature? Nature is..._

 _LUKE: You know, it's there, I saw it. Trees, leaves, whatever._

 _LORELAI: OK, that's your second answer in the form of a haiku. Let's get beyond that. Why are you back?_

 _LUKE: Because I felt like coming back. I can't do what I want to do?_

 _LORELAI: Of course you can._

 _LUKE: Good._

 _LORELAI: But camping is something you want to do._

 _LUKE: No, it's what you wanted me to do._

 _LORELAI: When did you turn against camping?_

 _LUKE: I didn't turn against camping. I'm just trying to understand, why you were trying to get rid of me tonight._

 _LORELAI: I wasn't doing that._

 _LUKE: Well, you sent me off to the woods. What if I don't want to go off to the woods?_

 _LORELAI: But you always want to go to the woods._

 _LUKE: Well, I don't like going to the woods when I'm being banished to them._

 _LORELAI: No one is banishing you._

 _LUKE: It felt like it._

 _LORELAI: Well, then, that's my fault. (sits on a nearby stool)_

 _LUKE: (sighs) Look... I like doing things with you. Surprised I have to tell you that._

 _LORELAI: You don't have to tell me that._

 _LUKE: I like going shopping with you, I like having dinner with Sookie and Jackson. The actual shopping seems a little pointless, and Sookie's kids drive me up a wall, but you're there, and I like hanging with you._

 _LORELAI: I know that._

 _LUKE: And, I could have been fun at this recital. I mean, you're probably sitting there mocking most of it. I can mock stuff._

 _LORELAI: Oh, you're a great mocker. I was only thinking of you when I mentioned the camping. You haven't been camping since we got together, and I was feeling weird about that. You should do the things you like._

 _LUKE: I do do the things I like._

 _LORELAI: Well, I wasn't getting rid of you. I want you to do whatever you want to do with me. I know that sounded dirty, and dirty things count, but I didn't mean the dirty things. You and me can hang whenever, wherever._

 _LUKE: Yeah, well, maybe I'm being sensitive._

 _LORELAI: I really wasn't getting rid of you._

 _LUKE: I mean, I'm not dying to see baton twirling._

 _LORELAI: I'm happy to be with a man who isn't._

 _LUKE: Was there baton twirling?_

 _LORELAI: Oh, yes, and it was no fun. She didn't drop it once. You want to come back to the recital with me? Kirk is doing something strange and disturbing._

 _LUKE: Nah, I think I might go back out camping. Wouldn't mind doing some fishing._

 _LORELAI: Good._

 _LUKE: Yeah. Good._

 _LORELAI: OK._

She stared at him for a moment, "So...are we okay?"

He nodded slowly, "Yeah. I was just...over thinking maybe." He shrugged, "Just making sure you weren't trying to push me away."

She smiled and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, "I don't want to get rid of you Luke. You're the only thinking keeping me together at the moment. I just…" She blushed nervously, "I don't want you to get sick of me or resent me down the road. I've been taking up all your time."

His voice took on a low tone that sent a shiver down her spine, "I just want you to be happy again Lorelai."

Her eyes sparkled with tears, "Luke…"

"I know how hard this has all been for you. Rory's your life." He said honestly, "And I know you don't want to talk about it and I'm trying to respect that. But it's killing me that you're sad…"

She looked down at his chest, smoothing her hands over his heart, "I'm trying."

He nodded and rubbed her side, "I know you are. But you have to know that I am too."

She lifted her lead again and nodded slowly, "I know you are. And you've been incredible. I don't know how I would have made it through the last few months without you. I just don't' want you to lose yourself because of me." She smiled and pulled at his collar, "I like my Grizzly Adams."

He smirked, they didn't often verbally express their love but in this moment he needed to hear it, "Just like?"

Her smile grew and she pulled him closer to her, "Not just like." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, "Love."

He breathed her in and felt the tension from earlier begin to float away, "Good. That's good."

She smiled and kissed him again, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nodded slowly, "You'll be okay?"

She nodded, "I'll be okay." She shrugged and started to pull away, "I'll miss you though."

"Please…" He said with a playful eye roll, "You'll have all the blankets to yourself tonight. You'll enjoy that."

She laughed and squeezed his hand; "I only take them away from you for the thrill of the fight babe."

He chuckled and shook his head, "I love you crazy lady."

She beamed up at her and shook his head as she stepped back, "Good. That's good." She said with a wink as she turned and walked out the door.

Luke watched her go and smiled as he watched her walk towards Patty's studio again. He definitely felt a lot better than he did earlier. He hated the idea of her slipping away.

* * *

Lorelai watched the rest of the performance but her heart wasn't in it anymore. She felt terrible that Luke had thought she was trying to get rid of him. He had been so amazing during this whole debacle with Rory. He had been by her side every step of the way and never hesitated to find ways to make her smile. He endured movies he would never pick himself. He cooked her every food he knew that she loved. He stayed up and held her as she cried but refused to open about her feelings. He went shopping and was even willing to come to this show tonight.

He was her rock.

As she walked out of Patty's studio with Sookie she sighed as she looked back at the empty Diner. "Hey, you okay?" Sookie asked.

Lorelai turned towards her friend and smiled, "Yeah. I'm good."

"Everything alright with Luke?" Sookie asked, "Why did he come back early?"

Lorelai frowned, "He felt like I was trying to get rid of him tonight, that I didn't want him around."

"Oh no." Sookie said with a soft voice, "Poor Luke. That's not what you were trying to do at all. Right? You just wanted to make sure he was still doing the stuff he likes to do."

Lorelai nodded, "Right. And I explained that to him and I think he understands."

Sookie turned her head to the side, "But…? There's something else you're not saying."

Her nose scrunched up and she sighed, "I just feel guilty ya know? I know I haven't been myself lately. And I know that this should be the best part of our life. We should be planning a wedding and moving forward but we're at a stand still because of this thing with Rory."

"Are you afraid he's going to leave you?" Sookie asked curiously.

"Not at all." Lorelai said shaking her head, "That's one thing I'm not worried about. Luke's so loyal. He's been incredible. I'm not worried about that I just feel bad that things have been different. He's been so sweet and I feel like I've neglected his needs."

"Are you guys still having sex?" Sookie asked with wide eyes.

Lorelai laughed and rolled her eyes, "Yes Sookie. We're still having sex. But even that can be different...I feel like he's trying so hard to put me back together. He's more cautious ya know? More reserved. We used too…" She blushed, "We used to have this heat, this passion and I know it's still there. I think he's just afraid to say or do the wrong thing to upset me."

"So what are you saying?" Sookie asked, "I'm a little confused. You said yourself that Rory had to make the next move so where does that leave you?"

Lorelai frowned, "I think I need to do something nice for Luke. To show that I'm still in this ya know? That just because things have been a little off that his feelings still matter to me."

Sookie smiled, "What are you going to do?"

Lorelai's smile grew, "How much do you know about camping?"

* * *

The following day, Luke ended up going straight from camping to his apartment. He showered and got ready for work. Calling the Inn he checked in with Lorelai and she told him she'd be home by 7 and was looking forward to seeing him. She also told him to bring his camping gear home. When he had questioned her on why, she ignored him and said she had to run to a meeting. Luke shrugged it off, figuring she just wanted to make sure the last of Luke's things were finally being moved into the house.

At 6:58, he pulled up in front of the house and grabbed his stuff from the back of the truck. He figured he'd store it in the garage, but for now he'd bring it inside. He just wanted to see Lorelai. As much as he loved camping, he had to admit he missed her last night. He had become quite accustomed to her sleeping beside him...even if it meant not getting any of the blankets.

He smiled to himself as he opened the front door and stepped into the foyer. The smile faded slightly when he began to smell a burning fire and heard what sounded like crickets and owls. "Lorelai?" He called into the room.

"In here!" She called from the living room.

Luke pulled his sleeping back up over his shoulder and walked towards her voice. He stopped in his tracks when he saw that the living room had been transformed. Somehow Lorelai had brought in fake trees and a tent small enough to fit in the living room. She was standing by the fireplace, hands on hips with a hunting hat, tight jeans, one of his flannel shirts and a pair of hiking boots.

"Hiya!" She said with a little giggle in her voice.

Luke looked around the room and saw the CD player where the noises were coming from, "What am I looking at?"

Lorelai stepped around the tent and walked over to him, "Well...I was thinking that you were right. It's much better when we do things together. And I know you like camping…" She said slowly, "But the idea of sleeping out in the woods is kind of terrifying and weird to me."

Luke chuckled, "Yeah, you're not much of an outdoorsy kind of girl."

"Which sometimes I'm sure you appreciate seeing as I always shave my legs." She said with a smirk.

He laughed, "Yes that's a plus."

"But I also know that sometimes you would probably like it if I put more effort into doing the things that you like the way you do the things I like." She said poking him in the stomach.

He smiled, "Lorelai we talked about this last night. I like doing things with you."

"I know." She said slowly, "But this is a relationship which means give and take. So while I'm not exactly ready to head out to sleep on the dirt with Smokey the Bear for a night…" He laughed, "I figured we could give indoor camping a try and work me up to the real thing."

He shook his head and pulled her close, "You're crazy, you know that?"

She hummed thoughtfully and smiled, "I may have been told that a time or two. Yes."

Luke pulled her all the way in and kissed her hard on the lips, "How the hell did you do all of this?" He asked as he pulled away.

"Sookie helped. She even cooked what we thought would be camping foods." She said with a smile. "And Jackson put together the tent. Said he had to learn when Sookie stopped refusing to let him bring in the plants at night and he was to afraid to leave them out in the garden."

"That would explain the time you slept in the zucchini patch at the Inn." He said remembering the day he had finally found the courage to make a move.

She started to step back, "Ah yes, the day you asked me to go to Liz's wedding with you." She paused and beamed at him, "Was that technically our first date?"

He shrugged, "It was kind of a pre date-date."

She laughed, "A pre date-date? What does that even mean?"

"Well I wasn't really sure if you would even want to cross that line so I figured the wedding was a safe place to test the waters a bit." He said with a smile.

She nodded slowly, "And you obviously thought it went well because you asked me to go to the movies when you walked me home. Didn't call it a date...but it felt like that's what it was."

He placed his sleeping bag down on the ground and walked towards her, "I thought I was going to pass out when I walked away. You looked confused." He chuckled, "I almost felt like I had tricked you into saying yes."

She smiled and pulled him towards the tent, "You didn't trick me. I was surprised as hell yes but I said yes because I had had fun at the wedding with you."

He nodded, "That's good."

She rocked back and forth on her tiptoes, "Hey, you like my outfit? This camping stuff is comfortable."

He chuckled and pulled at the oversized shirt on her, "Well this is my shirt. And the jeans I'm sure you had. Hat and boots look new though."

She put her hands on her hips, "I always love a good excuse to buy new shoes."

Luke rolled his eyes, "Oh I know it. How many times have you worn the boating boots?"

She smirked, "Well if you'd get the boat out on the water I'd have more reason to wear them mister."

His lips formed a straight line and he nodded, "Touché."

"So…" She said not wanting to upset him with talk of the boat, "Sookie cooked trout which I'm a little leery to try. But she also made hot dogs in case I started to gag."

He laughed again, "She's a good friend."

"She is!" Lorelai said with a smile, "And she made Smokes Pie because we weren't sure how it would work making smokes in the fireplace."

"Probably smart. That thing hasn't been cleaned in years." He said nodding towards it.

"Remember the time you tried to clean it? Didn't a dead squirrel fall on you when you were poking that stick thingy up there." She said with a wrinkled nose.

"That was kind of dirty." He said pointing a finger at her, "And yes. A squirrel and an unidentifiable dead creature that had clearly been up there for a while. He was burnt to a crisp."

"Poor creature." Lorelai said with a frown.

"There's a reason you're supposed to close the flue after you're done using it." He teased.

She shrugged, "To much work…"

He laughed and glanced around the room, "I still can't believe you did all this."

She smiled and sat down in the opening of the tent, "I need to do more nice things for you." Her voice faltered off sadly.

Luke knelt down in front of her and then joined her in the opening; "You do nice things for me all the time." He smirked, "Like last Wednesday when you woke me up in that oh so special way you know I love."

She blushed and nudged him with her elbow, "I didn't mean just dirty things. I mean gestures to show you that you know I…" She shrugged, "That I care."

"I know you care." He whispered to her, "Besides you've been a little preoccupied lately and I understand it."

She sighed and took his hand, "I know you don't like the way I'm handling all of this."

He squeezed her hand tightly in his, "It's not that I don't like it. I just don't know how anything will get better if you keep pretending that nothing's wrong."

She nodded slowly, "I just don't know what to say to her. I feel so angry...and I hate feeling angry. Rory and I don't fight like this. It just doesn't happen. It's never been this bad. The worst part about it is…" She sighed sadly, "I'm really disappointed in her Luke. I never thought I could be disappointed in her…"

He nodded, "I know. She's not been herself lately. I never saw this coming either. But the thing is...she's human. And we all make mistakes. Right?"

She laughed, "You're talking to the Queen of mistakes Mister."

He smiled sadly, he hated it when she was so hard on herself, "We've all done stupid things Lorelai. We can hope that this is her last big mistake. But at some point one of you has to make a move here. I can see that this is slowly killing you inside. You miss her."

She swallowed hard, "I do miss her. So much. I'm worried about her…"

"So am I." He said scooting closer to her, "And you know I have your back in this. Whatever you decide I'll be right there. But I do think we need to make a move here. I already told you I'd drive over there and drag her home myself if you need me too."

She laughed and leaned in and rested her forehead against his, "Look at you. I try and do something nice for you and once again you're taking care of me. Damn you Danes."

He smiled and lifted his face to kiss her forehead, "We're in a relationship. It's about give and take, right?" He asked repeating her words from earlier.

She took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent that was Luke Danes, "Right."

He smiled and gave her hand a squeeze again before looking around at the tent, "This is a nice tent."

She smiled and pulled herself back to the task at hand, operation thank Luke. "Oh wait! I forgot to show you the best part!"

Luke watched her stand up and begin to run around the house turning off all the lights. He watched her curiously and moved over as she sat down beside him again. She took a pillow and placed it on the ground and lay down patting the space beside her. Luke smiled and scooted closer to her and lay down beside her. He felt her slide her hand into his and heard her click something on; he looked straight up and then smiled.

"Wow." He whispered as he took in the sight above him, the ceiling had been transformed into a night sky. "How are you doing that?"

"Andrew's friend works in a Planetarium and he said I could borrow this for the night." She slid over closer to her him and rested her head on his shoulder, "Probably not as beautiful as the real thing but I thought it could be good enough for tonight."

He let his eyes wander over the fake stars, "The real thing is pretty spectacular. But I enjoy the company here much better than the loneliness of the woods."

She smiled and moved her hand out of his to squeeze his arm, "You're sweet."

Luke kissed the top of her head and let the moment sink in, "Thank you for doing this."

She snuggled into him again, "Tell me a camping story."

He frowned, "Like from when I was a kid?"

She shrugged and moved her head so she could see him, "If you want too…"

Luke stared into her eyes for a moment. He didn't often like to talk about his childhood. It was too painful to think about his parents. Especially now. He was engaged to the woman of his dreams and she would never get to meet them. But every now and then in moments like this when it was just them, he felt comfortable enough to open up to her.

"One time when I was about six I think…" He smirked, "We went up Maine which was supposed to be for a week in the summer. Dad was so excited. He packed up the truck with everything we'd need. He checked and double-checked. We got all the way up there after stopping a million times for bathroom breaks and because Liz and I wouldn't stop fighting. She threw my cassette player out the window and we spent 30 minutes trying to find it on the side of the road."

Lorelai started to laugh, "I wish I knew you both back then. I would have killed to see that."

He chuckled, "Anyway, we got there finally just as the sun had completely set. My Mom looked exhausted and like she just wanted to go to sleep. So my Dad started to unpack the truck while Liz and I fought even more and then suddenly he just stopped."

She turned her head towards his, "What do you mean he stopped?"

"He was just staring into the back of the truck in disbelief and we didn't understand why. My Mom who had the patience of an angel must have finally had enough because she started sighing and walked to him. She asked what the problem was and he whispered something to her and for the first time in my life I heard my Mom swear." He said with a laugh.

Lorelai smiled, "What did she say?"

He chuckled and said in a high pitch voice, "Are you fucking kidding me?" He said.

Lorelai gasped, "Oh the big one!"

He smiled and looked back at the ceiling, "The swear of all swear words. Liz started running around the truck repeating it."

"I can picture that." She said with a smile as she continued to watch him, she loved hearing his stories, "So what was the problem?"

He smirked, "Because despite the fact that my Dad had checked and double checked...he forgot one key thing for camping. Especially when you have two kids."

"What did he forget?" She asked pulling at his arm.

He started to laugh and looked towards her again, "The tent."

Lorelai gasped again and started to laugh, "No!"

He continued to laugh and nodded his head, "Yup. We spent the entire day driving all the way up there and there was no tent to sleep in."

She put a hand over her mouth and suppressed her giggles, "Oh my God. Your Mom must have been so mad."

"Yep. She was fuming." He said with a chuckle, "And she never got mad. She was just so tired and Liz was still running around screaming the F word and we were in the middle of nowhere."

"So what did you do?" Lorelai asked, "Did she make you find a hotel or something?"

He smiled and shook his head, "Nope. After a few minutes in which my Dad just stood there nervously...she started pulling out the sleeping bags. We all just stood there and she set them all up in a circle. She told my Dad to build a fire close to it and he did. He would have probably done anything she said just to diffuse the situation. I remember that when Liz finally stopped running around she asked what we were going to do." He smiled at the memory, "And my Mom said we were going to sleep under the stars."

Lorelai felt her heart squeeze in her chest, she wished so desperately that she could have met the two people responsible for raising this incredible man beside her. "Wow."

He smiled and stared up at the fake stars above him, "She and Dad taught us about the constellations. Helped us find our signs. Dad told ghost stories until Liz crawled into his sleeping back with him because she was too scared and we fell asleep to my Mom singing to us." He sighed happily, "It was probably one of the best trips we ever took."

She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder again, "Sounds like a great memory."

"It is." He said in a thick emotion filled voice, "I always thought that someday if I ever had kids I'd like to take them camping and sleep under the stars like that."

A warmth spread through her body, "Well then I guess it's a good thing we are taking baby steps with this. I'd like to be there with you too." She paused, "At least I'm assuming I'd be the one there with you."

He chuckled, "You're insufferable."

She smiled and kissed his shoulder, "Just checking to make sure I'm in that scenario."

"To be honest I always thought it was a pipe dream. I never saw it happening. When I did think about it then the person I was with had no real face." He smiled, "Not until you that is."

She smiled, "I hope I look good in that dream."

He chuckled, "You always look good."

She blushed and held him closer; "I'd like to do that with you…" She paused, "And our children someday."

"Yeah?" He asked turning his head to look at her.

She beamed up at him, "Definitely."

Luke smiled and rolled over so that he was staring down at her, "You know...there's always one other thing I've wanted to do under the stars."

The deep raspy timbre of his voice sent a spark from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. She loved when he used that voice with her. She felt like the only woman in the world when he was with her like this. She felt important, beautiful and sexy. She felt free, safe and above all she felt loved.

Swallowing hard, she scratched her nails against the flannel on his back, "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"I'll give you one guess…" He whispered as he lowered his head to the crook of her neck and began to suckle her skin gently.

She arched into him and sighed happily, "Oh I think I might like this camping thing…"

Luke chuckled and slipped his hand under her shirt, "Good. That's good."

As they made love under the fake stars they both couldn't help but think that everything was really better when they were together. 

* * *

**Hope you liked it guys. I wish we could have seen more little moments like this with our favorite couple. Here's hoping we see more in the Revival! Less than a month! Can't wait ;)**


	26. The Woman I Love

**Hey guys! The next installment of "Luke and Lorelai: A Playlist" is one of the rated M chapters. It's an idea I've been thinking about for awhile based around one of my absolute favorite L/L moments. This takes place right after Lorelai drags Luke outside during the first snow in "Women of questionable Morals".**

 **I loved that Luke let her take him outside. He would only do that for her. And I always felt that when she went back to the apartment…something more would have happened between them. This became more evident when later on she comes down into the Diner and he smiles and says "Morning again". They share a smile…a smile as if they both know something that we don't. That something more happened between them. Yes something slightly dirty lol but something also really big between them. Read and find out my take. I hope you enjoy!**

 **It's based on the song "The Woman I Love".**

 **Click on my name JoyfulHeartEO and you will see the link to the rated M chapters. Thanks**!


	27. Fresh Eyes

The next installment is another Rated M chapter. It is based on the song "Fresh Eyes" by Andy Grammer and just popped into my head last night when I couldn't sleep! It takes place after the season 7 finale reunion about a month after their reconciliation. Even though they are together, things are strained still and Luke needs to put things in perspective and look at Lorelai like he used to in order to move on. A magic moment and night brings them back together to where they were at the very beginning. Enjoy!

Lots of people have asked about the Revival One-shots I was working on. I have not given up on them, just having a bit of writers block and focussing a lot on "If You Ever Want To Fall In Love." I promise to update tho


	28. Happier

**Hi all! I am back with another installment of the soundtrack! This literally came to me over night as it is goes to a brand new song. Ed Sheerhan has inspired me once again. This goes along with the song "Happier" from his new album "Divide". It is an absolutely heartbreaking song about seeing someone you love with someone new. As soon as I heard it I thought of Luke and Lorelai in Season 7.**

 **This weaves throughout the season, it's a quick piece but I enjoyed writing it. Hints of Christopher's emotions in here as well. Hope you enjoy. If you haven't heard this song yet...go listen. It will make you cry in a good way lol.**

 **The format of this one is a little different too because I put the lyrics throughout, it seemed fight for this particular one.**

 **Thanks!**

* * *

 _Walking down 29th and park_  
 _I saw you in another's arms  
_ _Only a month we've been apart  
_ _You look happier_

 _Saw you walk inside a bar_  
 _He said something to make you laugh_  
 _I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours_  
 _Yeah you look happier, you do  
_

* * *

Luke had cursed himself the moment she walked away from him at the grocery store. The words had come out of him so easily and yet in his chest, his heart was hammering away. His head was screaming at him to say something different. To fight for her.

Instead he told her she should be with someone like Christopher. Was it his imagination, or had she looked devastated by his words? It took him two days to pull himself together, but after two nights of drinking alone, he got in the truck and decided he had to at least try.

Only when he pulled up in front of her house, he saw her standing on the porch. Only she wasn't alone. A physical ache grew in his chest and for a second he thought he might actually be sick. She was with _him._

The one man he had always worried about. The one man he had always been jealous of, even before they got together. When she had told him that day about her sleeping with him, Luke had seen red. It was like his world had stopped and it felt so easy and so good to be angry. It felt even better to feel his nose crack under his knuckles.

And yet, after the pure rage had worn off his mind started to wander.

He had thought about the last few months, about what he had really put Lorelai through. Sure it had been her idea to postpone the wedding, but in a way he realized now he had used that as an excuse. And since that moment, he had been pushing her away. Using it as an excuse to get away because deep down he was afraid. He loved her, he knew that but marriage did frighten him and he still wasn't' sure if he was worthy of her.

But now...now none of that mattered. Here she was. He shouldn't be surprised. He shouldn't be angry. He had told her to go to him; he had told her that she belonged with him. So then why did it hurt so fucking badly to see her laugh at something he said? Why did it cause an ache in his chest when she placed a hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. And why on Earth did it kill him to see her smiling?

With a heavy sigh he knew the answer.

She looked happy.

And he couldn't remember the last time she had looked that happy with him.

Swallowing down his regret and pain, he turned back around and climbed into the truck, deciding she deserved to be happy even if it meant he himself would be miserable.

* * *

 _Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you  
_ _But ain't nobody love you like I do  
_ _Promise that I will not take it personal baby  
_ _If you're moving on with someone new_

 _Cause baby you look happier, you do_  
 _My friends told me one day I'll feel it too_  
 _And until then I'll smile to hide the truth_  
 _But I know I was happier with you_

* * *

It had all happened so fast. Luke had told her she belonged with Christopher. And as crazy as it sounded, she let it happen because she just didn't want to be alone. When she was alone, she had to think about Luke. She had to think about what she had missed. She had to feel the aching pain that was threatening to swallow her whole.

Now months later she was married. She was married to Christopher.

It didn't seem possible.

It was hard to imagine really. After all these years she was married to Christopher. Her parents were over the moon of course. She had finally married Rory's father. They wanted to do the big ceremony, show her off to all her friends. Her Mother even mentioned her wearing the dress…

The very dress that Lorelai had picked out for her other wedding. The one she had so desperately wanted. The one Luke said she looked perfect in. That night she had gone back home, Christopher was working late as she dared to sneak into the back of her closet. Tucked away, her dress was wrapped up where she had left it.

She wouldn't admit it, but she had stolen glances at it a few times. Even tried it on once soon after and cried herself to sleep afterwards knowing it was all a pipe dream. It was never meant to be. Luke had made that perfectly clear.

That very night in a moment of weakness, needing and wanting to see him, just see him, she had gotten in the jeep. Driving over to the Diner, for a moment she thought about going in. But it didn't seem like he was even there. So she sat and looked up at the apartment, wondering if he was asleep.

After a while, a green truck caught her attention. Her heart leapt in her throat and she knew she was about to see him. Only it wasn't just him...he was with a woman. Her heart plummeted to her stomach when she saw the way he opened the door for the woman, just like he had done for her so long ago.

She was cute.

The complete opposite of herself. Maybe that's why it never worked for them.

The tears burned in her eyes when she saw him lead her to the Diner door. She wondered if their date would end as their first one had. With him offering her coffee, and her offering him something else instead.

She wondered if he'd hold her close; whisper that he was so happy. That he was all in. That he couldn't believe that this was happening.

She saw the smile play on his lips and she thought...he looked happy.

Happier than she could remember him looking towards the end of their own relationship.

Taking a deep breath and deciding it truly was over, she turned the key in the ignition and went back home. That night as Christopher climbed into bed with her, she feigned feeling sick when his fingers pushed up under her shirt. And it wasn't a total lie…

She did feel sick. It made her sick to wonder what he was doing right this very minute with that woman that wasn't her.

And what was it that she did to make him happy that she couldn't do?

* * *

 _Sat in the corner of the room  
_ _Everything's reminding me of you  
_ _Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier  
_ _Aren't you?_

 _Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you_  
 _But ain't nobody need you like I do_  
 _I know that there's others that deserve you_  
 _But my darling I am still in love with you_

* * *

Christopher put the letter down on the bedside table. He wasn't surprised by the words...but it didn't make it hurt any less. He knew deep down...he had always known. She was still in love with Luke. She would ALWAYS be in love with Luke.

That night when she came to him, he had never seen her so broken. He had never seen her so vulnerable. In all honesty it had scared him. He wasn't used to seeing her like that. Lorelai Gilmore was always a force to be reckoned with. Nothing was too much for her to handle.

Yet it seemed that this time around, love had really done a number on her. She had truly believed that she had found the one and somehow he had crushed her heart. He had used this new version of Lorelai to his advantage.

He knew it was wrong. He knew it was a terrible thing to do, but he had missed Lorelai more than he realized. He wanted to try...and if this was the only way to get her where he wanted her he was going to jump.

Only he had miscalculated.

He assumed that he'd be able to sweep her off her feet and make her forget all about the plaid wearing, Diner man. Yet even after all this time, it seemed she missed him more and more. And despite the fact that she wore a ring on her finger symbolizing her marriage to him, it was clear that now more than ever, Lorelai still wanted Luke.

She was working late at the Inn again.

She did that a lot lately and he was starting to realize it was mostly to avoid him.

So without thinking, he got into his car and drove into town. It was late, Stars Hollow was mostly dead. He didn't understand the appeal of this town but he knew that it had a strong hold on Lorelai and all it's residence.

Parking out front of the Diner, he watched the man behind the glass and wondered, what the hell did he have that Chris didn't?

Getting out of the car, he walked up to the Diner door and pushed it open. The little jingle of the bell caught the owner's attention. When he saw who it was, Luke looked shocked. But somehow he kept his cool.

Cautiously, Chris walked across the floor and sat down at the counter.

"Coffee?" He asked as he stared down at the counter.

It only took Luke a moment to compose himself, but when he did a cup of steaming hot coffee was placed in front of him. "Grills off."

Chris lifted the mug to his lips and took a swig, "That's fine. I'm not hungry...and I don't think this will take long."

Luke snorted, "What do you want?"

Chris took a deep breath and finally allowed himself to look up at the man whom his wife loved, "Did it help?"

Luke narrowed his eyes at him and leaned against the back counter, "Did what help? What the hell are you talking about? If you mean punching you...yeah it was incredibly satisfying."

Chris smiled, "Yeah I gotta say I enjoyed it too."

Luke sighed, "What do you want? Come here to gloat? Rub it in my face that you won?"

Chris smiled sadly, "You think I won?"

"You got her in the end didn't you? After all these years, after all the crap you put her and Rory through...you still won." He said with a shrug, "Congratulations."

Chris pushed the mug towards the center of the counter, "I was actually referring to Lorelai's letter. Did it help with your case? Your daughter?"

Luke frowned, "You know about that?"

"She didn't tell me." Chris said with a shake of his head, "Probably because she knew I wouldn't be happy about it. But I found the letter...did you read it?"

Luke swallowed hard, "No. But they read it out loud at the hearing…"

"Then you know." Chris whispered as he stood up again.

Luke frowned still not following, "Know what?"

"Know that she's still in love with you." He said pulling some money from his pocket.

Luke's mouth hung open for a minute, "I-"

"I'm going back to pack up some of my stuff. I'll be out of the way tonight. Lorelai and I will settle the rest of it later…" He smiled sadly, "I should have known."

Luke's mind was reeling; he was really trying to wrap his head around this whole conversation. Just having this man sitting in front of him in his Diner was hard enough to comprehend. He never expected this. And more importantly he never expected Christopher to be telling him he was leaving...or that Lorelai was still in love with him.

Chris sighed, "Her heart was never in it with me. She was lonely...and heart broken. More so than I've ever seen her. And I…" He pulled at his coat, "I used that to my advantage. Because after all, she is Lorelai Gilmore. Who wouldn't?"

Luke swallowed hard and pushed himself off the counter, "I don't understand why you are telling me this."

"Because she was happier with you." He said in a choked voice, "And despite everything...I want her to be happy Luke." He stepped back, "Just don't wait too long to tell her."

Luke stood in shock as he watched Christopher walk out just as quickly as he had walked in. After a minute, he strode over to the door and locked it, not in any mood for any other visitors tonight. He stood awkwardly, trying to understand what had just happened.

He had let himself believe that Lorelai was happy with Christopher. It was easier that way.

But was it true?

Suddenly he was transferred to a moment long ago, way back in the beginning of their relationship. When everything had seemed so perfect, so right. And suddenly he knew that Christopher was right...

* * *

 _Luke's knees ached as he sat there bent over trying to fix her damn oven. The damn oven she never used to cook actual food in, but rather used to dry her socks. Because using a dryer like normal people was out of the question in her world. He groaned thinking about all the ridiculous ways she could get herself killed, being distracted he whacked his head on the top of the oven again._

 _LUKE: - Ow! Geez! What the – Doh!_

 _Lorelai (laughing): He did it! He did the bit! Luke, do it again. Do it louder for Rory._

 _RORY: Hey, Mom?_

 _LORELAI: Yeah?_

 _RORY: You sound happy._

 _LORELAI: I am, kid. (She smiles at Luke.)_

 _LUKE: What?_

 _She had that goofy grin on her face. The new one...the one he'd only seen as of recently. When she hung up the phone she continued to stare at him with that faraway look in his eyes. Leaning back he wiped his hands on a rag and started up at her, elbows resting on his knees, "What?" He asked again._

 _She blushed softly and looked away, "Nothing. Are you almost done?"_

 _"Lorelai?" He asked again from his spot on the kitchen floor, "What is it?"_

 _He watched her take a nervous breath before looking back at him, "Rory said I sound happy…"_

 _He was quiet for a moment before he rubbed his hands together, "Oh yeah?" She nodded, he looked down and cleared his throat, "And you said?"_

 _"I am." She whispered softly, he looked back up at her and saw a scared expression on her face, "I'm really happy."_

 _Luke moved so he was on his knees in front of her, he placed his hands on her knees, "And this is a bad thing?"_

 _She sighed and shook her head, resting her hands over his, "No. Just...just new."_

 _"New?" He asked curiously, "What do you mean?"_

 _She lifted her head slowly and whispered, "I've never been this happy Luke...I've never felt this…" She swallowed the nervous lump in her throat, "Comfortable with someone."_

 _He nodded slowly, "Me either…"_

 _"Remember on our first date when you asked if I was scared?" She asked nervously._

 _Luke nodded, "Maisey conveniently interrupted before you could answer."_

 _She smiled and rubbed the tops of his hands, "Truth is I'm terrified Luke." She lifted her eyes to his, "I'm afraid to get my heartbroken...I don't know if I could take it. Not from you…"_

 _Luke frowned, "I have no intention of breaking your heart." He lifted his hand to cup her soft cheek, "I told you I was all in...I think that implies I'm not taking this lightly. Doesn't it?"_

 _"It does." She whispered, "But...but what if we get further into this and you realize I'm not the person you thought I was? What if I put all my trust in you, only to get rejected again? I'd lose more than just my boyfriend…"_

 _"You'd lose your coffee supplier too." He said with a smirk._

 _"Luke…" She said more sternly, "I'm being serious here."_

 _He cleared his throat, "Sorry. Yeah...I know. I know what you mean...we'd lose our friendship too."_

 _She nodded, "Exactly. And I…" Her voice cracked and she leaned into his touch, "I'm not sure I could handle that. I don't want this feeling to go away…"_

 _Luke sighed and leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips, "Lorelai."_

 _"I'm sorry." She said with whimper, "God listen to me...I'm not this girl. I don't do this. You must think I'm crazy."_

 _"I don't think you're crazy." He whispered, then smirked, "Well no more so than usual."_

 _She laughed a little and nudged him, "Jerk."_

 _"I get what you are afraid of because I'm afraid of it too." He said seriously, "And I don't know what happens next...but I do know that I'm happier than I've ever been before. Okay?"_

 _"Me too." She whispered searching his eyes, "So...we're going to really try to make sure this works?"_

 _Luke smiled, "Absolutely."_

 _She sighed happily and leaned forward to hug him, "Good. I needed to hear that."_

 _Luke hugged her back and kissed the side of her face, "You know it would help a lot if you didn't do things that might kill you...like leave the keys in the door and dry your socks in the damn oven."_

 _She giggled and buried her face in his neck, "Well then I guess I have a big strong boyfriend to fix all the things I broke so that I'm safe."_

 _Luke sighed and leaned back on his heels, "You're insufferable."_

 _Lorelai giggled and started to push him back on the floor, "And yet you are the one who chose to be here Danes...what's that make you?"_

 _Luke smiled up at her as she straddled his waist, "Happy Lorelai. It makes me happy."_

 _She beamed down at him as she began to pull the shirt up over her head, "Good. Me too."_

* * *

 _But I guess you look happier, you do_  
 _My friends told me one day I'll feel it too_  
 _I could try to smile to hide the truth_  
 _But I know I was happier with you_

* * *

Luke snapped out of his memory and suddenly realized he was moving. He was outside the Diner and felt for the keys in his pocket. He should probably think this through, but suddenly he had only one destination in mind. If he didn't go now...he wasn't sure if he ever would.

He wasn't sure how he had let them get so lost. How he had stopped making her happy. But he knew for a fact now that they had been happier together. It wasn't all in his head. There had been a time when they had made each other so damn happy. And despite all the bad things that had happened after that...he was starting to believe that they could find that place again.

And apparently, so did Christopher.

The wheels of the truck kicked up dirt on the Dragonfly driveway as he peeled into the parking area. He flung the door open and ran up the front stairs and through the door, the same door where it had all started.

She looked startled when she saw him, even more so when she took in his appearance and the fact that he was out of breath.

"Luke?" She asked anxiously as she placed her pen down, she stepped around the front desk, "Is something wrong? Is it April? Liz?"

He shook his head and took a big gulp of air, "No. No they're fine...everyone's fine."

She let out a sigh of relief and leaned against the desk, "God. Don't' scare me like that. You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

"That's because I think in a way I have." He said resting his hands on his hips.

She frowned, "I have no idea what you're talking about Luke. I-"

"I made you happy." He whispered, placing a hand over his heart, "Right?"

She stumbled back slightly, "What? I-I don't-What?"

"At one point I made you happy. You told me so. And you…" He sighed and stepped closer to her, "You made me happy too. You made me happier than I thought was even possible."

She shook her head back and forth and tried to step around him, "Luke I'm not sure what's going on. But I think that you should probably go. I-"

"Christopher came to see me." He blurted out; he felt that he had to lay it all out otherwise he'd lose her completely.

She looked startled as his words registered with her, "What?"

"He came to see me. Tonight. Right before I came here." He said urgently, "He found the letter you wrote for me. So I could get custody of April."

Lorelai ran a hand through her hair, her face crumpled slightly as she tried to keep up, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"He said that you're still in love with me." He said ignoring her.

She froze then and turned her body towards his, "What?"

"He told me that you were still in love with me." He paused for a moment, "Is that true?"

She began to tremble in front of him, "Luke you need to go-"

"Because I'm still in love with you." He said not willing to let her push him away again, "I've tried not to be but I am. I never stopped loving you." She opened her mouth to protest and he stepped closer to her, "I know it may have seemed like I did. I screwed it all up...I got scared."

She started to back away again, "Luke stop."

"Everything was so confusing. Not you...but the April stuff and I used that to push you away because it was easy and I'm so sorry." He pleaded with her.

She put her hand up, "We both already apologized to each other. It's fine. Okay? But you need to go, I'm married and-"

Luke grabbed her hand and ran his finger over the ring that Christopher had given her, "You were supposed to marry me."

"You didn't want to marry me." She said as her eyes welled up and she looked up at him, "You chose never."

"I didn't know it was forever." He whispered, "I didn't...I wasn't…" He sighed and pulled her hand against his chest, "I didn't know. I didn't see...I'm so sorry Lorelai. I'm so damn sorry. I-"

"It doesn't matter." She pleaded as she turned away from him and pulled her hand back, "We're both sorry. It wasn't meant to be. It's fine…"

"I was happier with you." He whispered, "And I think you were happier with me too. Before...before it all fell apart."

"Luke…" Her eyes closed tight and she shook her head.

"Weren't you?" He whispered suddenly feeling afraid that he had got it all wrong, "You told me once...you said it. You said I made you happier-you said-"

"You did." She said turning back to him, "I was. But I'm not sure we could ever-"

"What if we could?" He asked stepping closer to her again, "Would you try again?"

She gasped as he stared down at her, pleading with her to let him in once more. She would be lying if she said she hadn't wished for this since the moment she left him that night outside the Diner. She wanted him to fight for her. To fight for them. To know that he still wanted her as much as she wanted him.

But was it too late?

She was married to someone else. Not just anyone else...but Christopher. The one man that Luke hated the most.

But she didn't love Christopher. She could never love him the way she loved…

Shaking her head she looked up at him, "I thought you were seeing someone."

Luke frowned and stepped back, "What?" He hadn't expected that.

"I...I saw you." She whispered, "She was a blonde...short hair. You took her back to the Diner…"

Luke didn't mean to but he laughed, "You saw me?"

She sighed as the tears started to fall, "I had had a bad night...and I needed to see you. So I drove to the Diner and I was just sitting there...and...and I saw you. I had no right to be upset but it killed me. And all night I kept thinking is he taking her upstairs like he did with me? Is he-"

"Lorelai." He whispered sadly, "If you had stayed two second longer, you would have seen me throw her out."

Lorelai frowned, "What?"

"She reached across the counter to touch my arm and it felt ice cold. And all I could think was how it had felt when you touched me that night…" He laughed to himself, "Hell every time you touched me it felt like fire. Like nothing I'd ever felt and when she touched me I just...I couldn't do it. I asked her to leave and I never saw her again."

Lorelai started breathing heavy, "Luke…"

"And to be honest?" He rubbed the back of his neck, "The only reason I even asked her out was because I was just trying to get over you." He paused, "Do you remember that night we ran into each other at the grocery store?" She nodded and he continued, "I regretted what I said...and I had been stewing about it for a few days. And finally I just gave in and I had to see you so I went to your house but…"

"But what?" She asked nervously, "What?"

"I saw you with him. You were laughing at something he said…" He frowned, "And I let myself believe that you were happier with him."

"Luke." She whimpered, "No. No Luke I just...I was trying...I was trying to force myself to be happy but I haven't been happy in so long." She closed her eyes tightly, "But God I want to be. I was so happy Luke...I was so happy with…"

He grabbed her hands again and placed them over her heart, "We can be happy again."

She sighed and looked up at him, "But how?"

Pulling her closer, he heard her gasp, "I don't know but I do know that I can't do this anymore. Whatever this is...it's killing me."

"Is this really happening?" She asked breathing him in after so long, "Are you really here right now?"

Luke pressed a kiss to her forehead, to both of her cheeks and her nose, "I'm here."

"Thank God." She whispered before leaning up to let her lips crush against his.

Luke wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, vowing to make sure he would make her as happy as he had before. This was it. There was no going back. When she melted into his embrace, they were both lost to the world. Neither of them noticed the person watching them from afar.

Christopher had come to the Inn to tell Lorelai he was leaving. But as he stood there watching her fall into Luke's arms he realized he didn't need to tell her. She knew.

Even though it hurt, he also knew it was right. She was where she belonged and it was time for him to finally realize that. Stepping back, Chris finally let her go. Knowing there was only one man that she wanted.

She was happier with him, and that's all he needed to know. He had ruined every chance he had had back in the day. And he always knew that she would finally find it with someone else...so now it was time to let it happen. He would always love her...but Luke loved her more. And there was no denying it any longer…

* * *

 _Baby you look happier, you do  
_ _I knew one day you'd fall for someone new  
_ _But if he breaks your heart like lovers do  
_ _Just know that I'll be waiting here for you  
_

* * *

 **I hope you liked it! I will update again when inspiration strikes. I updated "If You Ever Want To Fall In Love" today as well so check that out if you haven't. :)** __


	29. The Guy That Says Goodbye To You

**Hey guys, back with another installment of the Playlist. This one takes part at two different times. The first part is from season one when Lorelai and Max first break up. The second is fast forwarded to Luke and Lorelai's break up in season 5 after Emily and Richard's vow renewal. That part is set after Lorelai calls and leaves a message on his machine. Set to the song "The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind" by Griffin House.**

 _Come on_

 _You don't need to change_  
 _A thing about you, babe_  
 _I'm telling you from where I sit_  
 _You're one of a kind_

 _Relationships I don't know why_  
 _They never work out and they make you cry_  
 _But the guy that says goodbye to you_  
 _Is out of his mind_

 _Well, I've been down and I need your help_  
 _I've been feelin' sorry for myself_  
 _Don't hesitate to boost my confidence_

 _Well, I've been lost and I need direction_  
 _I could use a little love protection_  
 _What do you say, honey? Come to my defense_

 _I stand up for you if it's what you need_  
 _And I can take a punch, I don't mind to bleed_  
 _As long as afterwards you feel bad for me_

 _And you give me all of your attention_  
 _I've got deep desire and it needs quenching_  
 _I think that's pretty plain for you to see_

 _Well, enough about me and more about you_  
 _Because that'd be the gentlemanly thing to do_  
 _I hope you like your men sweet and polite_

 _I thought I was done with telling you_  
 _But I ain't nearly halfway through_  
 _I've got a few more things_  
 _I'd like to say to you tonight_  
 _Get ready_

 _You don't need to change_  
 _A thing about you, babe_  
 _I'm telling you from where I sit_  
 _You're one of a kind_

 _Relationships I don't know why_  
 _They never work out and they make you cry_  
 _But the guy that says goodbye to you_  
 _Is out of his mind, mind_

 _You always did kinda drive me crazy_  
 _And it pissed me off 'cause I let it phase me_  
 _But I never wanted my time with you to end_

 _Now I'm back in town for a day or two_  
 _Well, mostly I came back just to see you_  
 _I am leaving now but I don't want to go_

 _You don't need to change_  
 _A thing about you, babe_  
 _I'm telling you from where I sit_  
 _You're one of a kind_

 _Relationships I don't know why_  
 _They never work out, they make you cry_  
 _But the guy that says goodbye to you_  
 _Is out of his mind_

* * *

Luke was busy at the Diner. It was dinnertime and on this rainy night it seemed everyone needed something from him. He hustled from table to table trying to keep up. It was his job, and he knew it had to be done. Normally he wouldn't complain but tonight he was annoyed. Lorelai was sitting at the counter, head in her hands poking at her food. She hadn't been in much lately and he was excited to see her back here tonight.

Rory wasn't around and if he was being honest with himself...he always liked to have a little time with Lorelai alone if he could. He pretended not to have a crazy crush on her. Pretended not to hang on every word she said. But at the end of the day when he turned off the lights and walked up to his lonely apartment he knew...he Luke Danes was a sucker in love with Lorelai Gilmore.

Finally as a few tables cashed out, he found a minute to saunter over to the counter right behind her. He began to wipe down the now empty spot beside her; he nodded his head towards her plate and asked, "Something wrong with your burger?"

She poked at it again and looked up at him, "Hm?"

"Your burger." He said resting the rag on the cool counter surface, "You've barely touched it. Normally you scarf it down so fast I have to be on guard to do the Heimlich."

She smiled weakly and looked down at her dinner, "Burger's fine. Guess I'm not that hungry."

Luke narrowed his eyes at her, "Spill it Gilmore."

She looked up at him again with her big blue eyes and a small pout on her face, "Spill what?"

He opened his mouth to respond but someone called his name. He sighed and held up his hand, "Hold that thought. I'll be right back."

Lorelai barely registered that he had left again before looking down at her full plate. Luke finished helping the last two customers and then flipped the closed sign on the front door. He sauntered over to the counter again and stood across from her, "Okay. I'm back."

She stared at him funny for a moment before asking, "What?"

He sighed and stood up straighter, "Okay seriously. What's going on? You're totally out of it."

She put her hands on either side of her plate and shrugged, "Really Luke. I'm fine."

He rolled his eyes, "You didn't ask for coffee when you got here. Ordered a double cheeseburger with onion rings and it's been over an hour and you haven't touched it. Something's wrong with you."

She pulled at her sweater self consciously, "Nothing's wrong with me Luke. I'm just not hungry."

Still not buying it he leaned in and rested his elbows on the counter, "You sick?"

She shook her head, "No."

"Get in a fight with Rory?" Lorelai shook her head again, "Your parents?"

She sighed and pushed her plate away again, "No Luke. Really. I'm good." She started to stand up and he could see tears prickling in her eyes, "Sorry for making you waste food." She opened her wallet, "Next time I'll-"

The words came out of his mouth before he had time to stop himself, "This about a guy?"

She inhaled sharply and sat back down on her stool, "What?"

The way her face flushed and her hands began to shake gave him the answer she wasn't willing to give. He nodded slowly and looked down, afraid to let her see the sadness in his eyes. "It is."

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes before Lorelai whispered, "I got dumped."

Luke lifted his head and stared at her, "You got dumped?"

Her cheeks flushed red and she crossed her arms in front of her, "Yes…"

His mouth hung open for a minute and asked again, " _You_ got dumped?"

She rolled her eyes and went to stand up again, "God Luke, drop it. As if I don't feel shitty enough as it is."

Luke quickly rounded the counter and reached for her arm, stopping her before she went to leave, "Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" He swallowed hard when she looked back at him, those blue eyes full of tears, "I didn't mean anything by it I just...was surprised."

She sniffled slightly and wiped at her eyes, "Surprised?"

There was a million things he wanted to say but didn't seem able to. Mostly because he was sure now wasn't the time. So instead of delving into it, he decided to try and distract her. "You want a drink?"

She sniffled again and looked up at him, "Like an adult drink?"

He rolled his eyes, "No I was gonna warm you up some milk in the back and read you a bedtime story." She stared at him funny and he laughed, "Yes an adult drink. Beer or beer? My only options."

She smiled softly and said, "Beer is fine."

Luke nodded once and gestured for her to sit again. She opted for a seat at one of the tables rather than the counter and waited patiently for Luke to return. He sat beside her and handed her a beer before sliding a piece of pie in front of her. She eyed him wearily and he shrugged, "Don't need you drinking on a totally empty stomach. I figured pie might entice you more than a burger."

She smiled at him as he sat beside her, "Thanks."

He handed her a fork before grabbing his own beer and plopping down beside her, "Don't mention it." He took a swig of his beer as he watched her take a small bite of her pie, "So...you wanna tell me about him?"

She scrunched up her nose, "You don't want to hear about my love life." She rolled her eyes, "Or lack thereof."

While that was technically true, he hated to hear about the guys she dated because none of them were him. But this time around he was curious. He wanted to know what kind of moron would dump a woman like Lorelai Gilmore. Someone missing a few dozen-brain cells in his opinion.

He shrugged, "We're uh...we're friends right?" She looked at him but nodded, "Well...then that's what friends do. Talk about this stuff." He gave him another weary look, "Pretend I'm Sookie."

She smiled and whispered, "My Sookie you certainly grew some facial hair overnight. We might need to get that taken care of…"

He chuckled, "You are so much work, you know that?"

Her smile slipped away and she looked down, poking at her pie again, "Probably why I got dumped."

Luke sighed and leaned against the table, "Lorelai...I didn't mean it like that." When she didn't say anything he cautiously asked, "Was it that teacher from Chilton? The guy I saw you-"

His voice broke off and his cheeks flushed as she looked up at him, "What? You saw us? When?"

Luke cringed slightly and stepped back, "Uh...that night in the snow. When I brought the reenactors coffee. You were going for a walk in the snow...to enjoy your gift." His cheeks burned even more and he looked down, "But I saw you with him…"

Lorelai reached for her beer and brought it to her lips before saying, "He was having car trouble." She took a large gulp of her beer and continued, "And we ran into each other."

He smiled slowly and nodded, still not looking at her, "Small world."

Lorelai took a deep breath, "Yeah well none of it matters now anyway. He decided it was all too complicated. He said he wanted a little breather...a break." She snorted softly as she took another sip of her beer, "But every girl knows that a break means you are definitely broken up. So here we are…"

Luke shook his head, "Well he's an idiot."

Her heart thudded in her chest for a moment before she said, "I probably should have known better. I mean he was Rory's professor...I just got so caught up in the moment. The feeling of someone wanting me. It's been a long time since I felt that…" She said with a little blush, "It's been a long time since I felt anything actually."

"I'll admit that I was a little worried about the whole Rory's teacher thing." He said with a shrug as she looked back at him, "But you can't help who you fall for Lorelai. From my experience, the heart rarely pays attention to what we really want."

She frowned, "Yeah. I suppose that's true."

They sat in silence, contemplating everything as they continued to drink their beers. Lorelai was feeling a little woozy already. She'd barely had anything to eat all day and the alcohol was going straight to her head.

Luke looked at her, "You should eat some of your pie."

She frowned, "Really not hungry."

Luke reached for her beer, "Then I can't let you have anymore of this."

She whimpered and put her hand over his, "Oh but Luke I need the beer. I want the beer. I love the beer."

Her words and her touch sent a shiver through him. His eyes locked with hers and he knew that he couldn't deny her anything. Here he was sitting in his closed Diner with the woman he desired more than anyone. A few more beers would help this heart broken girl to let him in a little...it would be easy. But it wasn't Luke. He could never and would never take advantage of a situation like that with any woman, but especially not Lorelai.

The very thought of hurting her, causing her any type of pain sent daggers straight to his heart. Right now he'd like to go ring this Max guys neck for hurting her. How stupid could that guy be? Sure it was a bit complicated...but if you get a shot with Lorelai Gilmore you take it. And not only do you take it but you hold on for dear life. You bend over backwards to keep her smiling, to keep her happy. Because her happiness would be the key to your happiness.

Her happiness was the key to HIS happiness.

Luke took a deep breath and kept his eyes firmly locked on hers, "Lorelai?"

She felt as though she lost her ability to speak or even breath. Her eyes were glued to his and the feel of his warm arm beneath her arms was making her feel things she didn't think she could ever feel. Swallowing hard she asked, "Yes?"

Sighing heavily, Luke leaned back in his chair and lifted his beer to his lips, "The guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind."

His words hung between them for a moment as she sat back in her own chair, "What?"

He looked down at the floor, afraid to meet her eyes or she'd surely see right through him, "Max is a fool for letting you go. And if he is stupid enough to walk away then he doesn't deserve you."

In that moment she felt a shift between them. Part of her wanted to reach for him and kiss him. But the other part of her wanted to run and never look back. This man had been there for her since day one. Never asked for anything in return, never expected anything. He was her friend and confidant, her cook, handyman and protector. But could he be more?

Did he want to be more?

Lifting her beer to her lips she whispered, "Thanks Luke…"

He nodded slowly and tilted his beer towards her, "Hey...what are friends for?"

She smiled weakly and watched as he stood up to continue cleaning the empty Diner. She sat there watching him, her mind wandering in a million different directions. What amazed her the most was that for the first time since it had happened...Max wasn't the man on her mind. Instead it was the man with the backwards baseball cap…

* * *

 _Fast Forward 5 years later..._

Luke threw open the back door of Lorelai's house after hearing her desperate message on his machine. He had been avoiding her like the plague since their run in at Doose's. Since he had told her he couldn't be in this relationship anymore. He was so damn angry. So damn hurt. But he needed space...he needed to walk away and clear his head. She understood that, right?

But when he heard her voice on the machine, when he felt and sensed the desperation and heartache through the line something in him snapped. None of the other stuff mattered. He had run. Just like he always did. But this time it felt more desperate. When she didn't answer the door he panicked. And when he finally broke into the house, he moved through it on autopilot in search of the blue-eyed brunette who had stolen his heart so many years ago.

By the time he got to her bedroom he was beginning to panic. Where was she? Where the hell was she? Why would she call him in the middle of the night, beg him to come over and then leave? For a fleeting moment he thought maybe she was out...with someone. Someone that wasn't him. He shoved the thought to the back of his mind and took in his surroundings. There was junk food everywhere and a TV set up at the end of her bed.

She was wallowing. Something he had seen her help Rory do before.

Lorelai Gilmore was in full wallow mode.

The only difference this time was that the man she was wallowing over...was him.

Luke swallowed hard and spun on his heel, determined to see her face. Needing to see her face. He stomped down the stairs and burst through the front door in a frantic state. And suddenly there she was.

"Luke." He heard her whisper in shock.

He sighed with relief and asked, "Are you okay?"

She looked nervous as she responded, "Yeah, I -"

His heart was hammering in his chest and he frantically asked, "Sure? I got here, there was no answer."

He heard her sigh and slightly cringe, "You got my message."

He nodded slowly and stepped closer to her, "Yeah, I was home and I couldn't reach the phone, so I ran over here. I knocked, there was no answer, so I tried the loose window, but I fixed that last week, and then I realized I fixed all the stupid ways there were to get in your house, and I broke the back door lock and I ran inside and you weren't there."

Her blue eyes got wide as she mumbled, "Oh, my God."

He shook his head and said calmly, "It's okay, I can fix it."

Her eyes were glistening and the corners of her lips turned down slightly, " I'm so sorry, Luke. I will never do this to you ever again. I am absolutely humiliated. I was hurting, and I knew if I called you you'd come. I never should have done that."

He shook his head again, "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. It's not okay." Something in her tone of voice startled him and he stepped back slightly, "I am not that girl. I am not the one who cries and falls apart and calls her ex-boyfriend to come and save her." She looked down and didn't notice the pain on his face at the words, 'ex-boyfriend', "Thank you so much for coming, and for breaking my door. You're an amazing guy for doing that." She lifted her hand and held something out to him.

He frowned and took it, "What's that?"

She sighed and looked down, embarrassed to look him in the eye, "It's the tape from your answering machine."

Luke held it against his chest and asked, "From my answering machine?"

She sniffled slightly, "The last crazy thing you will ever have to endure from me, I promise." She waited a moment before lifting her head to say in a soft, pained voice, "I just want you to know that I heard you when you said that you're out. I did. I'm going to respect that from now on."

He stood there, dumbfounded by her words. "Okay." Was the only thing he managed to say.

She tugged at her light sweater and whispered, "You should go. It's cold. I'll be fine."

Luke watched her, he even opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. So she stepped around him and walked up the front steps of her porch. He heard her open the front door. He heard it close behind her but he stood rooted in his spot.

Her words were ringing in his ears. He was playing them over and over again. She had called him her ex-boyfriend. That phrase startled him. Was he her ex? He sighed when he realized that yes, of course he was. In her mind, what he said at Doose's was him breaking up with her. She didn't take it as a little break. She didn't realize he needed time.

Because to her time apart meant they were done. Hadn't she said that to him once? Wasn't it years ago when Max broke up with her? Hadn't she said a break always meant breaking up. For good. For real.

Suddenly he was turning and stomping back up the stairs. He lifted his hand and pounded on the door, the old wood rattled under the intensity. She didn't answer and he started to pound again, just as he was going to yell her name the door flung open. He fell forwards slightly and she gasped, stepping back, "Luke what are you-"

"I think we need to talk." He stammered out quickly.

She frowned and rested her forehead against the edge of the door, unable to meet his eyes, "Luke there's nothing to talk about. You made it perfectly clear how you were feeling at Doose's and I just need to accept that and mo-"

"No. No don't finish that thought." He said quickly, "Because...I don't think I did make myself clear. I don't think you understood what I was saying." He pointed to his chest, "I don't think I understood what I was saying."

Frowning, she turned to him with sad, tired eyes and sighed, "Luke it really doesn't matter. It's done. Okay? I got it. I know I screwed up. I did this. I am-"

"I didn't mean that I wanted out." He blurted out, "I didn't mean that I wanted to be your ex-boyfriend."

She faltered for a moment and shuffled her feet, "Luke I-"

He shook his head and cut her off, "I was just feeling overwhelmed and confused. I needed a minute to think. To catch my breath. To wrap my head around everything. But I didn't mean I was out."

She stared at him for a moment, "You said you couldn't be in this relationship anymore. You said it was too much."

Luke nodded quickly, keeping his eyes trained on hers, "Yes."

She narrowed her eyes and said, "But...Luke that means that you-"

"No. No it doesn't." He said quickly, "It doesn't mean what you think it means."

She stepped back and put her hand on her forehead, "Well in my experience if a guy says something like that it means 'pack your bags sweetheart I'm done with you'…" She growled.

Luke nodded again, "Right. I know. I remember. Max did that."

She stared at him with a puzzled expression again, "Max? What does Max have to do with any of this? I wasn't with him that night I was with-"

Luke closed his eyes and held his hand up, "Yes. I know who you were with. Trust me I know."

Lorelai crossed her arms over her chest, "What the hell are you talking about then?"

"Max." Luke whispered, "Do you remember the first time the two of you broke up? He told you that he needed a break."

Lorelai nodded slowly, "Yeah. I mean...I guess so. But seriously...what does that have to do with this?"

"We sat in the Diner after it happened. I gave you pie and beer because you wouldn't eat anything else. Do you remember that?" He pressed on.

She took a little breath and stood up straighter, "I mean vaguely I think. But...I still don't-"

"Do you remember what I told you that night?" He asked feeling his chance slip away.

She stepped back again and closed her eyes trying to remember, "I...I don't know."

"Remember Lorelai. God please remember." He whispered to her. "I know you do."

She looked up at him and whimpered softly, "Luke please...I'm exhausted. I don't have the strength too-"

"I told you that the guy that said goodbye to you was out of his mind." He blurted out quickly, "Do you remember now?"

Her mouth hung open for a moment as the memory flooded back to her. The feel of his skin under hers as she had reached for her beer. The way he stared at her so intensely. The way his words made her shiver. The way that he had made her forget completely about Max and wonder only about him.

She swallowed hard and whispered, "Yes…"

Luke stepped all the way up to her and said, "I must be out of my mind then."

She shook her head again, "Luke-"

He put his hand up and pressed to fingers to her lips, "No. I know I am. I'm totally out of my mind right now. I have been since your parents party."

She swallowed hard and tried to ignore the way the feel of his fingers on her lips made her feel, "Luke-"

"I was so angry Lorelai. And so hurt. I felt like every damn thing I had ever feared was happening. I felt like you were finally realizing I wasn't good enough for you." He mumbled as he moved his fingers so that his hands could cup her face. "I just...I snapped. And I couldn't process anything. I had to get away...away from all of it. Away from you…"

Her eyes welled up with tears and she tried to look down, "Luke-"

He lifted her face again though and whispered, "But I didn't mean forever. I couldn't mean forever. Because I-"

"I love you." She blurted out without hesitating, "God I love you Luke and I'm so, so incredibly sorry for hurting you."

Luke swallowed the lump in his throat and whispered in a hoarse voice, "Had to beat me to the punch didn't you?" He asked with a little smirk.

She sniffled and rested her hands over his for support, "What?"

He chuckled and pushed back a strand of her loose hair, "I was just about to say I couldn't mean forever because I love you."

She gasped slightly and gripped his arms tighter, "You do?"

Luke nodded slowly, "Of course I do. I kept your damn horoscope in my wallet for 8 years didn't I?"

She gnawed on her lip gently, "I thought that was because you never cleaned out your wallet."

Luke chuckled and rested his forehead against hers, "No...I just wanted you to think that so I didn't look so desperate."

She clung to him and closed her eyes, breathing in all that was Luke Danes, "Luke."

Leaning forward he started to prep kisses on her face, against her cheeks, her nose, forehead, eyelids, chin and finally her mouth. He felt her shudder and heard her gasp when their lips finally met again. She whimpered into his mouth as her arms wound around his waist, he felt her knees wobble and he pulled her even closer. Needing to feel every inch of her that she was willing to give.

As they stumbled backwards into the house, he kicked the door shut behind him and pressed her against the wall. Desire took over everything else and he quickly slid his hands up under her jacket. Before he knew what was happening though, she had wiggled away and he fell forwards, bumping into the wall where her body had been only moments before.

"Lorelai what-" He started but when he turned around he saw that she was standing there broken and afraid. "Lorelai?"

"You can't do this." She said shaking her head quickly, "You need to go."

Luke stood dumbfounded, his mouth hung open, "What?"

"You need to go." She said in a shaky voice, she started to turn away, "Please go Luke."

He stumbled forward and grabbed onto her elbow making her jump, a whimper escaped her lips and he knew she was crying, "What the hell just happened?"

She kept trying to twist away from him, "Luke don't."

"Lorelai what the hell?" He asked again, "Look at me." She continued to twist away from him and he stepped around her so he was facing her, he grabbed both of her arms but made sure he wasn't hurting her, "Hey...hey look at me."

She was fully crying now, she looked at him desperately and whimpered, "Please don't."

Luke took a deep breath and stepped closer to her, "Lorelai I don't want to go."

She whimpered and looked down, "Stop."

"I don't want to be over." He said more sternly but she ignored him, he shook her gently but out of total fear and desperation, "It can't be over."

"You said it was over." She whispered with closed eyes, "You said you wanted out."

He licked his lips and felt his heart slamming against his chest, "I know. I know I did but I didn't mean... " He paused, "I just needed a breather."

She frowned, "Luke this is real life. You can't take time outs."

He stepped back and pulled his cap off his head, running a hand through his hair, "I know. I know alright? But sometimes-" He started pacing in the small space as he tried to think of what to say, "Sometimes I just have to step back. I know that you don't like that but I need time to mull things over. I need to process. You know that about me. I just…" He turned back to her and gave her a hard look, "I was hurt."

The pained look on his face made her heart ache, she stepped back and looked down, clasping her hands in front of her, "I know. I hurt you and I'm so sorry."

Luke nodded and walked closer to her again, "I just felt like every fear I have ever had about us just got thrown in my face. I was standing there in a suit; at this crazy fancy event with all these people I had nothing in common with-"

"Luke…" She said with a little sigh, "It's fin-"

He ignored her and kept talking. "And all of a sudden you told me that you had spent the night with Christopher and-"

"Not _spent the night_ like that…" She mumbled quickly.

"Yes I know. I know." He answered quickly, "But...it was still shocking and I didn't know how to process it. I was trying to just put it out of my mind to get through the party but the next thing I know I'm standing in the hallway with Christopher having a screaming match. With him telling me that you two belong together. Don't you think that I have worried about that forever?"

"I don't want to be with Christopher." She said in a slow even voice.

"But you did." He whispered, "You did for a long time and you can't deny that. I sat back and watched you deal with him breaking your heart every time. And you were devastated. I remember that night with you sitting in the Diner telling me you thought you had the whole package. He was going to be with Sherry and you were so upset."

She sighed and for once wished they weren't such good friends. It would be so much easier if he didn't know her so damn well. Didn't know her history so well.

"Yes. Yes you're right." She said quickly, "But Luke that was so long ago and to be honest…" She shrugged her shoulders slightly, "I realize now that I was more upset for letting myself think I could have that life. It wasn't even about him...I mean yeah at some point I did care about him. We have a kid together he's always going to be there but I don't…" She frowned and shrugged again looking straight at him," I don't love him Luke. In fact I don't think I've ever loved anyone until-"

Her face flushed and she looked away, he stepped up to her and said, "Until what?"

She took a deep breath and looked at him with water filled eyes, "Until you."

He let out a little breath he hadn't realized he was holding it in, "Well then that means something."

A whimper escaped her lips again as she said, "You said you were out."

Luke groaned and reached for her hands, "Lorelai...haven't you ever said or done something in the heat of the moment you didn't really mean?"

"Yeah but…" She looked down, "How do I know you won't do that again and how can you forgive me. And how-"

"Stop." He said quickly holding his hand up, "Do you love me?"

She sighed and nodded, "Yes but-"

"No. No buts. I'm asking if you love me and want to be with me." He said quickly.

She rolled her eyes, "Luke I just called you desperately begging you to come over. I think that proves that yes I want to be with you. But does it really matter?"

"Of course it matters." He said incredulously. "It's all that matters."

She started shaking as she reached for him, "Luke…"

"I waited for so long." He whispered sadly, "I sat back and watched you go from guy to guy wondering if I would ever be good enough for you. And then all of a sudden we were dancing at my sister's wedding and I thought...this is it. This is finally my chance. And it was so good. It was so much better than I ever imagined. And I can't let you go. Alright?" She opened her mouth to protest but he shook his head, "No. I know what I said. Alright? I know what you thought. But I didn't mean forever...I just needed a minute."

"Luke I'm scared." She whispered to him.

He sighed and stepped over to her and placed a hand over her cheek, "So am I. But...I'm more afraid of what happens if I leave here and we don't try again. Because my life isn't even real to me. It's like it doesn't make any sense if you're not there and you're sharing it with me."

She frowned and looked down, "Luke."

"You make me better." He whispered, "Don't you see that? You pull me out of my shell. You make me happy, you make me enjoy life. Without you I'll die alone above the Diner. I'll never step foot out of Stars Hollow. I'll do the same thing everyday. But I need you...I need you to fix it for me. I need you to make things better. I need you to make me better."

"Luke." She tried again but he cut her off again.

"I need you. Alright? I just...I do." He said in a broken voice, "And I'm sorry I walked away. I'm sorry I said what I said but I was just hurt...and I...I wasn't thinking. Please, please don't do this."

She stared at him in silence for a few minutes before leaning forward to hug him. It took him a moment to wrap his mind around what was happening, but after a moment he wrapped his own arms around her and held her tight. He realized quickly that she was crying again. He could feel her hot tears in the crook of his neck. "Lorelai…"

"I was sitting here alone thinking the only person I want to comfort me is Luke. But he doesn't want me." She whimpered. "He hates me and I couldn't even be mad because you have every right to hate me."

Luke smoothed back her hair and kissed the top of her head, "I don't hate you Lorelai. I could never hate you. I was just upset.""

"I don't want to be with Christopher." She said pulling back, "Or anyone else for that matter. I want to be with you Luke. I want a middle. I want our middle." She said clinging to his arms, "I want you to yell at me about the dangers of red meat and coffee. And I want to drag you out of bed in the middle of the night to smell the first snow and even drag you to Town Meeting's just to see that little vein pop out of your forehead when Taylor pisses you off."

Luke chuckled slightly, "Lorelai-"

"I want to make you watch crappy movies and watch you fix every thing that I wind up breaking because we both know I'm a total klutz. And I want to-" Her voice cut off and she stared at him with wide eyes.

He touched her cheek and whispered, "You want what Lorelai?"

She bit her lip and whispered, "I want to marry you…" She shrugged, "You know...when we're ready. I want it all Luke."

He smiled and breathed her in, pulling her flush against his body again, "The whole package."

She nodded quickly, "Yes. The whole package."

"Well in order to get that...I need you to not kick me out." He whispered with a little smile.

She sniffled slightly but laughed, "Luke…"

He tipped her chin up and smiled, "Lorelai...I'm not leaving."

She searched his eyes for a moment and she saw that he was sincere. When she saw that they were on the same page, she leaned forward and captured his lips with hers. She melted into his embrace and Luke wrapped his arms tight around her waist. She breathed him in and then pulled back, just to rest her forehead against his.

"Stay." She whispered, "Please stay."

He smiled and caressed her hips gently, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"I'm so sorry." She said with a small frown, "I never ever want to hurt you."

"I just...I need you to tell me things okay?" He asked, "And I need you to let me process a little."

She nodded, "Okay. I get that."

He sighed and stepped back, "I should probably fix your lock-"

She raised an eyebrow at him and scoffed, "You can't be serious."

He frowned, "What?"

"The lock can wait. Right now we're going upstairs." She said with hands on hips.

Luke smirked at her, "Not sure there's any room on the bed with all those snacks."

Lorelai frowned, "I barely ate any of it...Rory pulled out all the stops too. I felt bad but my heart wasn't in it."

"Then you were sad." Luke whispered in awe, "Nothing comes between you and your red vines."

She blushed and shrugged, "I need you just as much as you need me Luke. I don't like life without you. And I never want to experience it again."

The rawness in her voice cut through him like a knife, "I'll put the towel over the lock and meet you upstairs. It can wait until tomorrow.

"Smart thinking." She said with a smile, "Gives me time to clear the bed." Luke chuckled and started to walk away but she called out to him, "Hey Luke?"

He turned to her slowly, "Hm?"

"Thank you for being the type of guy that would come over here to check on me…" She whispered, "I don't know how much more of this I could have handled."

Luke sighed and walked up to her again, touching her cheek he whispered, "I meant what I said all those years ago. Any guy that would walk away from you would be a fool Lorelai. They'd be out of their mind. I won't make that mistake again."

Pushing up onto her tiptoes she pressed her lips to his, "I love you."

"I love you too." He whispered with a little wink as he stepped back.

Lorelai watched him walk to the kitchen before turning to walk up the stairs. Luke walked to the kitchen and let out a little shaky breath realizing he had almost lost her. After all they had been through...and all the years he had waited...he couldn't just walk away. He'd have to fight even if it was painful at times even if it wasn't the easy way out. She was worth it and he needed her in his life forever. He wouldn't be the fool to walk away again...

* * *

 **Just an idea that popped into my head after the song came on my ipod today. Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks guys! :)**

 **Will update again soon when I get inspired!**


	30. In The Blood

**Hello all! It's been awhile since I updated this. But an idea hit me today when I heard the song "In The Blood" by John Mayer. This takes place in Season 5 after Luke and Lorelai have dinner with Emily and she isn't exactly kind to him. Luke starts to wonder if he should let Lorelai go so he doesn't come between her and her family. But before he has the chance...Lorelai has a realization and isn't willing to let him go.**

 **Lorelai makes a choice and decides it's time to set the record straight with her parents. Maybe a weird summary but hopefully you like it. :) I'll try and update "If you Ever Want To Fall In Love" soon. Hard to beleive I'll be on the 100th chapter! AHHH! You guys are the best. Thanks for everything!**

* * *

_In The Blood_

 _John Mayer_

 _How much of my mother has my mother left in me?_

 _How much of my love will be insane to some degree?_

 _And what about this feeling that I'm never good enough?_

 _Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?_

 _How much of my father am I destined to become?_

 _Will I dim the lights inside me just to satisfy someone?_

 _Will I let this woman kill me, or do away with jealous love?_

 _Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?_

 _I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need_

 _But it's never gonna come the way I am_

 _Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood?_

 _Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?_

 _How much like my brothers, do my brothers wanna be?_

 _Does a broken home become another broken family?_

 _Or will we be there for each other, like nobody ever could?_

 _Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?_

 _I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need_

 _But it's never gonna come the way I am_

 _Could I change it if I wanted, could I rise above the flood?_

 _Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?_

 _I can feel the love I want, I can feel the love I need_

 _But it's never gonna come the way I am_

 _Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood?_

 _Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?  
_

* * *

 **[Elder Gilmore house: outside.]**

 **(Emily is walking Lorelai and Luke out.)**

 **EMILY: ... Opiate for the masses. Well, so what? We all have our opiates. For some it's valet, for Luke it's baseball. Whoever I heard say it just happened to say it about what Luke likes. Oh, no! Some workman has left his filthy truck in our clean driveway! Richard must have sent for him.**

 **LUKE: Oh, that's mine, actually.**

 **EMILY: Oh. Well, it's nice. Rustic. I like the color.**

 **LUKE: Thank you.**

 **EMILY: And I like this coat of yours, there's something nice about simple cloth.**

 **LUKE: Thanks.**

 **EMILY: Well, this was wonderful. Don't be a stranger, all right?**

 **LUKE: I won't. Thank you, Emily.**

 **EMILY: Goodbye. Bye, Lorelai. (She goes back inside.)**

 **LORELAI: Bye, Mom.**

 **LUKE: Thanks, again.**

 **(The door closes.)**

 **LUKE: You know what's amazing, I mean truly amazing.**

 **LORELAI: What?**

 **LUKE: She never said anything directly bad about me or the diner or anything else concerning me.**

 **LORELAI: She's good.**

 **LUKE: And all I did was thank her. Over and over. She'd hammer me, and I'd thank her.**

 **LORELAI: It's a talent.**

 **LUKE: "Rustic" really did sound like crap pile that time.**

 **LORELAI: Come on, babe. You'll feel better about halfway home.**

 **LUKE: Good.**

 **LORELAI: Then the eye-popping nausea will hit you. The rich food mixes with the bitter memories and it all gets worse, and then it gets better.**

 **LUKE: Good.**

 **LORELAI: Until you get to Route 44, and then you hit bottom.**

 **LUKE: Good. Great.**

 **LORELAI: I'll be ready with a tongue depressor to keep you from swallowing your tongue. I keep them in my purse. Step up.**

* * *

When they finally pulled past the Stars Hollow sign, Lorelai could already feel the shift between them. She'd tried to joke, tried to make him smile as they drove home. But the look on his face told her that what she had feared would happen, had happened.

Her Mother had gotten to him. Emily Gilmore had made him feel insignificant and that above all else broke Lorelai's heart.

She wasn't' surprised when he drove towards her house though they had discussed sleeping at the apartment. She wasn't surprised when he parked the car and turned to her and said, "I think I'm just going to call it a night. Early delivery in the morning."

She took a deep breath, "Luke-"

He shook his head but smiled; leaning forward he pressed a chaste yet awkward kiss on her lips, "I'm fine. Really. Just tired."

She bit her lip gently, "Now you know my Friday Night Dinner stories were all real."

He chuckled, "I suppose I do."

She scooted closer to him on the bench seat, "Listen Luke, I can still stay over. I'll go right to bed. I promise."

He smiled, "You won't. Not because you don't want too but because you can't. Your brain doesn't turn off like that."

She pouted slightly, "I'll keep my hands to myself. I'll be good. I promise. I'll-"

"Lorelai." The way he said her name left a sinking feeling in her gut, made her think he was suddenly tired of this game they had been playing for the last few months, "It's no big deal. I just want to get a good night's sleep. That's all. I'll see you in the morning at the Diner."

She sighed and sat back on the bench again, "Okay."

An awkward silence filled the truck for a moment, he shifted slightly, "Do you want me to walk you in?"

She shook her head, "No. No I'm good."

He cast her a glance, one that almost looked like he regretted his decision to drop her at home already but he didn't say anything other than, "Okay. Goodnight."

She looked up at him for a moment and studied the expression on his face, "Yeah. Night."

Carefully, she opened the car door and stepped out onto the gravel. She shivered as the cool night air hit her, but she didn't let him see her crack. So she grabbed her bag from the seat and didn't look back up at him as she walked around the truck and up the porch steps. Even though she didn't turn to see him, she knew he waited until she had unlocked the door. He was upset, but he was still Luke.

Still looking out for her safety.

She heard the truck pull out of the driveway as soon as she shut the door behind her and that's when the tears came…

* * *

Luke's heart was pounding in his chest after Lorelai exited the car. He felt nauseous. He felt worse than he could remember feeling in years. Sure Lorelai had told him stories about Friday Night Dinners. He had heard about the times that Emily had laid into her about something, disapproving of every little choice she made. But truthfully, he just assumed that she had exaggerated most of it.

Lorelai was dramatic. Sometimes this was endearing, and other times it was a little over the top. However, Luke just had first hand experience that told him that many of the stories he had over the years were pretty spot on.

Sure he had worried about officially meeting her parents as the boyfriend. Though they had met before, he knew there was a difference once a line was crossed. He knew that a Diner Owner probably wasn't what they envisioned their daughter to be partnered with. But damnit, Luke had fallen hard for Lorelai and now that they were finally together, he hated realizing that her parents were never, ever going to approve of him.

As he pulled up in the alley by the Diner, he sighed. He knew it would be hard loving someone like Lorelai Gilmore. But he didn't think it would be this hard…

Now the question was, how the hell was he going to get over her?

Lorelai lay awake tossing and turning in bed for what felt like hours. When she glanced over at the clock she realized she'd only been in her bed for 45 minutes. She groaned and threw the extra pillow over her head.

She hated sleeping alone in this big bed. Sure she had done it for years but since their first date, they had only spent a handful of nights away from each other. And each one felt lonelier than the last. She loved the way his strong arms would sneak around her in the middle of the night while she slept. She loved using his warm chest as a pillow. She loved to hear the rise and fall of his breath, the beating of his heart, even the slight snores as he slept. She loved those little moments when he thought she was asleep and he'd play with her hair, press kisses to the top of her head.

She loved it all.

And then it hit her.

She loved HIM.

Taking a deep breath, she sat up quickly in bed and put her hand over her heart feeling it pound against her chest.

She loved him.

She Lorelai Gilmore was in love.

For the first time in her life she was truly, madly, deeply in love.

And she was in love with Luke Danes.

She remembered when she almost thought she loved Max how a feeling of pure panic had washed over her. A sense of nausea. A signal that started going off in her brain saying "GET OUT!"

She assumed it would feel like this. But it didn't. This felt so different. She felt content. She felt sure. She felt happy. She felt totally and completely confident that this was real. This feeling, this emotion that erupted in her was pure and true.

A smile spread over her face.

She was in love. She was in love damn it and she had to tell him.

She flew the blanket up over the side of the bed and slammed her feet on the floor. Just as she was about to dash to her dresser to change she skidded to a halt. And she remembered...she remembered the look on his face as he dropped her off at her house tonight.

Suddenly panic hit her, not the type of panic she felt when she might have thought she loved Max. No this was pure and total soul crushing panic.

This was the panic that said Luke was going to think they had to break up. He was going to say that Emily didn't approve of him. That they shouldn't be together.

Despite how perfect she thought he was, she knew that deep down Luke wasn't always super confident. She had always felt that in some ways he felt inferior which was completely and totally insane in her eyes. He was more incredible than he could ever or would ever realize.

And suddenly her clothes didn't matter. She dashed out of her bedroom and down the hall in her pajamas. Grabbing her car keys, she put her feet into what she realized were two different shoes but didn't bother to change them. She slammed the front door behind her and ran through the cold yard to the jeep, desperate to get to Luke before he made any ridiculous rash decision in his head.

He had to know. She had to tell him. And above all, she had to make sure he never tried to leave her.

* * *

Luke lay in bed staring up at the ceiling.

He did in fact have early deliveries tomorrow but he already knew he would be getting no sleep. Every low blow that Emily had thrown at him played over and over in his head. He pinched the bridge of his nose and wished he could be the type of guy to let the insults wash over him. Instead they lingered, the festered and brewed causing every insecurity he ever had ignite in flames in his chest.

He groaned when he took a deep breath and was assaulted by the smell of Lorelai. That perfectly fruity smell with a hint of coffee that made him weak in the knees. He threw her pillow off the bed hoping it would help but it lingered. He lifted his t-shirt to his nose and smelt her there too. He sighed and sat up in bed, pulling the thin material up over his head he tossed it across the room with a grunt.

Realizing there was no way he was getting sleep anytime soon, he started pacing.

What on Earth had he been thinking?

After 8 years of waiting and wishing, did he really think he and Lorelai would live happily ever after? What a crock of shit. She was out of his league. She was everything he wasn't. Everything he'd never be. Her parents saw it and even though Lorelai said she didn't care if they didn't approve...he cared.

He cared damn it.

Just as he was about to go into full panic mode, the apartment door burst open and he whipped around. Ready to tackle the intruder. But his eyes went wide when he saw who was standing in front of him with a pained and desperate look on her face.

"Lorelai?" He asked in total confusion.

She crossed the room in three long strides and launched herself into his arms, "Screw your early deliveries Luke Danes."

He stumbled back for a moment but instinctively wrapped his arms around her, "Lorelai what the hell are you doing? It's the middle of the night."

"Don't care." She said burying her face into the crook of his neck.

He felt her shiver in his arms, "What are you even wearing?"

She shivered again and clung to him harder, "Dunno."

He sighed and carefully pried her off of him, "You're in your pajamas." He looked down at her feet and chuckled, "And you aren't even wearing matching shoes."

She looked down and huffed, kicking them off she looked at him, "It doesn't matter."

He frowned and lifted a hand to her head, "Are you sick or something?" He sighed, "If you aren't, you probably are about to be. It's freezing outside. Where's your coat?"

"No time." She said shaking her head adamantly, "I had to get here. Had to get to you."

He was trying to keep up, he really was but she wasn't making much sense, "Lorelai what-"

"I love you." She blurted out, searching his eyes hopefully, "Okay? I love you."

He was pretty sure he had stopped breathing. Either that or the world had officially stopped spinning. Either way, the end of the world was happening because there was no way he could have heard her correctly.

"Lorelai." He began to rub the back of his neck, "What-"

She shook her head and stepped up to him again, "I love you. I just do. And I know that what happened tonight…" She swallowed hard and looked down, gripping his arms, "I know what it will make you think. But you can't. You can't. You can't just leave me."

Luke sighed and squeezed her forearms, "Lorelai…"

"I don't care." She whispered softly, "I don't care what she thinks. Or my Father thinks or what anyone else in the world thinks Luke. I don't."

He shook his head, "You should."

"No. I shouldn't." She said with a sniffle, "All I should care about is what I think and what you think."

He looked down, "Lorelai…"

"And I personally think we are great together." She said leaning further into him, "I think for the first time in my life I understand what this whole having a partner thing is. What it should be like. I think that I could really get used to waking up to you everyday and going to bed with you every night. And I think for the first time in my life that doesn't completely and totally scare me to death. It feels right Luke. You feel right. You are right. You're the one."

His heart started hammering away in his chest, "I think you're tired and you aren't thinking this through."

She groaned, "Damn it Luke."

He stepped back and looked at her, "She's your Mother."

She rolled her eyes, "So they tell me. But I still don't know if I fully believe it. There couldn't be two more different people on the planet."

He sighed and shook his head, "She's still your Mother despite your differences."

"So?" She asked with a lift of her shoulders, "So what?"

"So what?" He said in disbelief, "Lorelai she's your Mother. The only Mother you will ever have."

She frowned and walked all the way up to him, she lifted her hand to his cheek and touched it gently, searching his eyes, "And you're the only Luke I'll ever have. If I have to make a choice, there is no question Luke. I choose you."

He grimaced and pushed her away, "Jesus Lorelai. Don't do that! Why would you say that? Have you completely lost your mind?"

She stumbled forward when she felt the loss of him, and her arms wrapped around herself feeling very alone, "Luke…"

"I will not let you pick me over your parents." He said with frustration, "That's not even an option. They are your Mom and Dad. And they don't like me. I should have seen that coming. I don't know why I even thought this would be a good idea-"

She frowned, "But you did think it was a good idea and it is a good idea."

"Lorelai stop it." He said through gritted teeth, "It was fun, alright? I've loved every second of it but maybe this is where we should just stop it and-"

"You told me you were all in." She said with such sadness in her voice it broke something in him.

He looked down, unable to meet her eyes, "Lorelai."

"You said it. You said it and I believed it." She saw in a raw voice, "I believed you. I trusted you more than I've ever trusted anyone Luke. I let you in. Don't you know how hard that was for me? Don't you know how terrifying it was? But I did it because after all these years I finally thought I found it."

He was pretty sure this was going to break him into a million pieces, "I did mean it."

She sniffed, "No you didn't. Because if you did you wouldn't be doing this."

"What do you want me to say?" He asked looking up at her, "Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I want to do this?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe you wanted a way out. Maybe this wasn't what you were expecting. Maybe you thought I was someone else...maybe you had me on a pedestal for too long. I'm not perfect Luke."

He frowned at her, "That's not what this is and you know it."

"You're right. This is you throwing yourself on your sword because you think you're protecting me." She said with hands on hips, "When the reality is that you are breaking my heart."

He winced at her words, "I'm not trying too."

"I know you aren't." She whispered as she tentatively stepped all the way over to him, "Because that's not who you are. You would never intentionally hurt me."

He swallowed hard and looked her in the eye, "No. I wouldn't."

She nodded, "You think you're saving me Luke. But I don't need to be saved...I just need you."

He shook his head again, "They are your parents…"

"Yes. They are. And you're right...you only get one set of parents. And I know that you more than anyone else knows that pain. But Luke…" She grabbed his hands and pressed them against his chest, "This is my burden to bear. This is my choice. And I choose you."

He melted slightly but still felt the wall up, "Why?"

Her eyes sparkled up at him with unshed tears, and yet a hopeful expression lingered on her lips, "Because no one else has ever made me feel the way you do Luke. And I'm not just talking about men I've dated. I'm talking about anyone ever in my life...and that includes my parents."

He frowned slightly, "I don't-"

"Since the day I was born I have worried about never fully being able to be myself. I never fit into their world. I never fit in anywhere totally. I always had a mask on...pretending to be what they wanted me to be. Even here in Stars Hollow...I pretend to have it all together to keep appearances up. But underneath I'm probably the most insecure person you will ever meet." She said with a sad laugh, "Unless I'm with you."

He took a deep breath and lifted his hand to her cheek, "Lorelai-"

"I don't know why. But for some reason you seem to enjoy spending time with me. Sure I do things that make you give me that look of 'what the hell is she doing?' but you never make fun of me. You tease me maybe. But you still accept me. You let me be me. You haven't tried to change me. Aside from continually attempting to feed me spinach and thinking I don't notice when you give me decaf." She said with an eye roll.

He sighed, "How did you know?"

"Huge taste difference." She shook her head, "It's fine. I always make Caesar pour me a new one when you aren't looking."

He groaned, "I'll kill him."

She smiled and squeezed his hands in hers, "I am not afraid to be me when I'm with you. I'm not afraid to be let down because I know when I need you...you'll be there. That was true even before we got together. I mean what kind of man would give a woman a $30,000 loan the way you did? No questions asked...no need for repayment. You did that for me."

He swallowed hard, "Of course I did. And I'd do it again."

She leaned her forehead against his, "Luke I ran over here like the crazy woman that I am because the idea of life without you is unbearable. And I felt it...I saw it tonight when you dropped me off. You thought you'd be doing me a favor by letting me go. But I'm telling you…" She whimpered slightly and pulled away to look him in the eye, "Actually I'm begging you...don't do this. Because this is the one thing I won't survive."

He reached his hand up to trace the line of her jaw, "Lorelai...I don't know when I started loving you. I can't remember a time when I didn't love you. Maybe it just happened the moment I met you. Who the hell knows. I can't pretend it isn't there."

She felt her heart leap in her chest at his words, "Luke…"

"But they are your parents." He said with a sigh, "And that means something to me."

She sighed and let her hands fall to her sides, "So...you're really doing this? You're breaking up with me over this?"

He saw the grief stricken look on her face, "No."

She tensed slightly, "No?"

He watched her stiffen, and could see her chest rise and fall, "No."

She stepped up to him again, "But-"

"I should break up with you. I should tell you that you need to go find someone else. I should force you to find a man that your Mom would approve of. But…" He swallowed hard and glanced up at her.

She leaned down to peer up at him, "But what?"

"But I don't have it in me to let you go." He said in a shaky voice, "Because it would kill me too."

She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding and launched herself into his arms. She didn't try and hide the tears that were spilling down her cheeks and he didn't pretend he didn't hear them. He held her close and rubbed her back, "It's okay…"

"I love you." She whispered in his ear, "I love you. I love you."

He pulled away and wiped at her tears, "I know. I know. And I love you too."

She clung to him and rested her forehead against his, "So what now?"

He sighed and pushed her hair out of her face, "Right now you need sleep. We both do."

She shivered slightly, "But Luke-"

"We'll figure it out in the morning." He said with a shake of his head as he started to lead her towards his bed.

She climbed in on her side and smiled when he handed her her once discarded pillow. He sat down on the bed and then lay in his spot, smiling gently at her. She placed her pillow down but didn't bother using it. He smiled harder when she curled up beside him and rested her head on his chest.

"I like using you as a pillow better." She explained, kissing his bare chest.

He smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "Fair enough."

They lay silently for a few minutes, relishing in just being together. But then she broke the silence, as usual, "Don't leave me." She pleaded.

He held her closer and rocked her gently, "Never. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I won't. I promise you."

She sighed and let her eyes close, trying her hardest to relax but knowing there was work to be done tomorrow.

And whether or not he liked it...they were going back to Emily Gilmore's house tomorrow to settle this.

* * *

The next morning, Lorelai woke up early with Luke when he got up to meet his bread truck. She sat up in bed and he smiled at her, "Sorry. I was hoping not to wake you up."

She shook her head, "No it's okay. I'll have to go back home anyway."

Luke frowned, "Why?" He asked as he toweled off his hair.

She smiled, "Ran over here in my PJ's remember?"

He laughed and sat on the edge of the bed, "Ah yes…"

She sighed and reached for his hand, "Luke?"

He heard the hesitation, the fear in her voice. Tossing his towel aside he scooted closer to her, "We're okay."

Biting her lip gently she sighed, "You promise?"

He was quiet for a moment, "You really love me?"

A slow smile spread on her face and she nodded, leaning in, "Without a doubt in my mind."

He sighed and nodded his head, "Well then I guess we'll have to figure this all out."

She pressed a kiss to his lips, "Do you think you can get away after the morning rush?"

He pulled back and frowned, "Why?"

She shrugged, "I just want to go somewhere with you."

Luke pushed back a strand of her hair, "Go where?"

She shook her head, "It doesn't matter. I just…" She pouted softly, "Please?"

He rolled his eyes, "Well you aren't playing fair."

She smiled and leaned further into him, "Please?"

He sighed and looked over at her, "Alright. I can get away around 10:30 if that works."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around her, "Thank you."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "Should I be nervous?

She shook her head, "No. I'm just planning on kidnapping you, driving you to a remote area and chopping up each and every piece of your body for sacrificial reasons."

Luke nodded, "Noted."

She pecked his lips and crawled off the bed, "I'll check in at the Inn and then come get you."

He watched her begin to walk towards the door, "Hey Lorelai?"

She turned towards him at the door, "Yeah?"

He smiled, "Thanks for running over here with two different shoes to make sure I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life."

She beamed at him and winked, "Anytime. Bye lover."

He chuckled as he watched her practically skip out of the apartment. Sighing, he lay back on the bed again and took a deep breath. There were still issues, problems that needed to be discussed. But...letting her go wasn't going to be an option. Not after last night. He wasn't about to let her go...not now. Not ever.

He just hoped whatever she had planned wasn't too frightening…

* * *

Around 11:00am, Luke and Lorelai were almost at their destination but Luke just wasn't sure what that was yet. She was driving the Jeep and he was in the passenger seat. Every time he thought he knew where they were, she detoured and he was starting to think she was doing it on purpose to throw him off.

But suddenly...he knew why.

They pulled through the familiar gates and his stomach dropped.

"Lorelai what the hell are we doing here?" He asked in frustration.

She parked the car and turned towards him, "There's something I need to do."

He watched her try and open the door of the car, but he grabbed for her arm, "Are you sure about this?"

She smiled softly and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips, "Absolutely positive."

He sighed and knew that there was no changing her mind about this. Even if he didn't think it was a good idea. Stepping out of the car with her, she linked hands with his as they stepped up to the large front door. Lifting her hand, he saw that she didn't hesitate and for some reason, that filled him with pride and love.

When the door opened, Emily Gilmore looked more than startled to see them, "Lorelai." She turned to look at him, "Luke…what are you doing here?"

Lorelai took a deep breath, "Is Dad here by chance?"

Emily nodded, "Actually he is. He's in his study just getting a few things before he goes back to the Pool House."

Lorelai nodded, "Good. I'd like to speak to you both if you don't mind."

Emily narrowed her eyes at her daughter, "Lorelai, what is this?"

Lorelai shook her head, "Can you please get him please? This won't take long."

Emily sighed and stepped aside, "Fine. We'll meet you in the Parlor."

"Wonderful." Lorelai said pulling Luke's hand over towards the room they had been in last night, she could feel Luke tense beside her, "You don't even need to sit. This will be quick."

He grimaced, "Lorelai...just don't say anything that you will regret."

She shook her head, "I won't. I won't regret any of this. I want them to understand something. That's all."

He sighed and gave her a nod, then squeezed her hand letting her know he was right beside her. After a moment, Richard and Emily walked into the room. Richard pulled at his suit and smiled softly, "Luke. Lorelai, to what do we owe this pleasure?"

Lorelai smiled at him, "Hi Dad. I hope we aren't interrupting anything."

Richard shook his head, "I have a few minutes before I need to get back to work."

Lorelai nodded, "Great. This won't take long."

Emily sat down on the couch near them, "Well what is this then?"

Lorelai looked over at her Mother, "This is Luke Danes. My boyfriend."

Emily rolled her eyes, "Yes Lorelai. We've been through this. Did you hit your head between now and last night? He was here for dinner you know."

Lorelai nodded, "Yes he was. And you weren't exactly welcoming to him."

Emily huffed, "Excuse me? I offered him beer didn't I? I asked about his Diner?"

"His Rustic Diner?" Lorelai asked through gritted teeth, "You were cruel and threw many low blows. And I sat there and took it, as did Luke. But I want you to understand something."

Richard stepped closer to his daughter, "Lorelai-"

She put her hand up, "I need to say this and I want you to both hear me. Because I won't be repeating myself."

Richard recognized the look on his daughter's face. It was that look that said she meant business. The look that meant that there would be no changing her mind. But above all, the look that said whatever she was about to say was incredibly important to her.

Richard nodded and sat down, "We're all ears."

Lorelai licked her lips and stared down at them, "This is Luke Danes. My boyfriend. And quite honestly...boyfriend doesn't seem like the right word." She looked over at him, he gave her a gentle, encouraging smile but she could still tell he was nervous, "He's more than that. He's my best friend and the greatest thing that has ever happened to me."

She took a deep breath and looked back to her parents, she felt the tears bubbling in her eyes and chest but she refused to let them see her cry. She squeezed his hand beside her and squared her shoulders to continue, "I know that you had this idea of what you pictured my life to be. I know you had bigger plans...but those weren't my plans. I never would have fit that mold that you expected of me."

Emily huffed, "Only because you defied us at every turn. You chose to throw your life away."

She felt Luke tense beside her and she knew what he was thinking, "You love Rory."

Emily sighed, "Yes now I do. But...you were destined for so much more."

"Mom." She said in a soft voice, "I will never under any circumstance regret having Rory. She is my life. And I feel so incredibly lucky to call her my daughter. I have done everything to make sure that her life has been filled with love and happiness. I never wanted to make her feel unwanted or not good enough."

Emily narrowed her eyes at her daughter, "Is that your way of telling me that's how you felt growing up?"

Lorelai shook her head, "I don't think there's anyway to deny that I wasn't happy growing up."

Emily fidgeted in her seat, "Is this conversation going somewhere?"

Lorelai sighed and shook her head, "Yes. It is. The point of all of this...is that for the first time in my life I am happier than I've ever been. I'm with someone who loves me for me and not who they want me to be. Luke has been there for me and for Rory since the day we met him, no questions asked."

Richard looked at Luke, "You have been around a lot…"

Luke blushed slightly, "I wanted to make sure they were well taken care of sir."

Richard smiled, "You had no obligation to look after them."

Luke shook his head, "No. I didn't."

Emily glared at him, "Then why did you do it?"

Luke took a deep breath and looked directly at her. The woman who had belittled him last night, and made him almost walk away from the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. "Because they are worth it. And they deserve the world. I know I'm not who you pictured your daughter to be with. I'm not from your world. I don't have a big fancy house or car, my job isn't glamorous and I haven't been outside of New England much in my life. But what I do have...is the upmost respect for your daughter and Granddaughter. And I would do anything for them."

"You have this vision of me someday being with Christopher, or someone like him." Lorelai said with a sigh, "But Chris was never there. Luke was...Luke was the one that helped me when our pipes burst that first winter at the house. Luke was the one that made Rory mashed potatoes when she had the chicken pox and wouldn't eat anything else. He taught her how to ride a bike, buried her pet caterpillar, picked her up from school if I was running late. He fed her, let her study in his Diner, never made us pay for all the extra food we got. He gave me a $30,000 loan to make the Dragonfly become a reality. He's not just some random guy I met one day and thought I'd have some fun with. He's the guy. He's my guy." She said with a smile, "The kind of guy that I would someday want Rory to be with. He's dependable and trustworthy; he's hard working and caring. Respectful and honest. He's the man I choose to be with."

She took another deep breath and licked her lips, "And I am telling you right now...that if you don't approve of him that's your own issue. Not mine. But if you try and meddle with this. If you try and break us up, try and hurt him in anyway you will lose me." She saw a flicker of fear cross their faces, particularly her Mother's, "I'm not being dramatic or trying to be rude or mean. I'm being honest because I choose him. And for some insane reason, he's chosen me. I'm not saying we're getting married tomorrow…" She blushed and looked at him, "But I hope that if he doesn't get sick of me...that we'd head that way someday." He gave her a swift nod and she let out a shaky breath, "So that's what I came here to say. Now...the ball is in your court."

A silence filled the room for a moment and Luke was pretty sure he forgot how to breathe. He waited, unsure if he should say something or let them hash it out. After what felt like an eternity, Richard lifted himself from his seat and walked over to his daughter and Luke. Luke looked at him with what he hoped was an appropriate expression, and not one that made him look like he was trying not to be sick.

"Well…" Richard said with a smile, "Of all the things I know about my daughter...this one I know to be true." He turned to Luke and smiled, "She only fights for the things that she thinks are worth it. That means...she knows you are worth it." He held his hand out, "I'm looking forward to getting to know you better Luke. You're welcome here anytime."

Luke let out a little breath and reached his free hand out to shake Richard's, "Thank you Mr. Gilmore."

Richard smiled, "Please. Call me Richard. It's clear you'll be around for a long time...no need to be so formal." He turned to his daughter and smiled, "I'd like the three of us to have dinner together sometime since you were able to do it with your Mother."

Lorelai nodded slowly, almost waiting for the other shoe to drop, "Okay. Sure. We can make that happen."

Richard nodded, "Wonderful. I have to get back to work now, but we'll talk later. Give my love to Rory."

Lorelai nodded slowly, "I will."

Richard smiled and stepped out of the room without turning around again. Lorelai and Luke glanced at one another; they smiled but stood still again. There was still one battle that needed to be won…

Lorelai turned to her Mother and took a deep breath, "Are you going to say anything?"

Emily sighed and picked at her skirt, "What is it that you'd like me to say?"

Lorelai sighed, "There are plenty of things I'd like you to say...but I don't expect that to happen." She paused and frowned, "But I'd like you to acknowledge what I just said. Did you hear me?"

Emily nodded and slowly stood up, "Oh I heard you. Loud and clear."

Lorelai fidgeted from one foot to the other, "And?"

"And…" Emily whispered turning to look at Luke, "If that's the way you feel then I suppose there is no way to change your mind."

Lorelai gripped Luke's hand harder, "No. There isn't."

Emily nodded, "Your Father and I don't seem to see eye to eye lately. But I do agree with him. You wouldn't be fighting like this if you didn't think he was worth it." She turned to Luke and stared at him, "I hope that he doesn't prove you wrong."

"I won't." Luke whispered, "As long as she wants me, I'll be here."

Emily lifted her chin, "Why do you want to be with my daughter Luke?"

Luke was taken aback by the question for a moment. Then he smiled and looked over at Lorelai. The woman he had been admiring from afar for so long, "There isn't just one reason. How much time do you have?"

Emily gave him a small smile; "Give me a brief synopsis then…"

Luke sighed and squeezed Lorelai's hand; "She's the only woman that's been able to pull me out of my shell. I've been a long for a long time Mrs. Gilmore...my parents died when I was young. I was closed off from the world. Afraid. But Lorelai...and Rory…" He smiled, "They made life good again. They gave me a reason to be happy...they made me laugh. Lorelai checked in...she cared. She made me see in color again...she makes me happy." He turned back to Emily again and said, "Your daughter is the greatest woman I have ever known. She works hard everyday for her daughter, to make a better life for them. She bends over backwards for everyone to ensure her friends and family are happy. She's kind, intelligent and funny. She is too good for me and I know that…" He frowned and looked down blushing, "And I know you don't like me. And I will be honest...it almost made me walk away. But not because I'm afraid of you. Because I want Lorelai to have a relationship with you." He looked at her, "But I love her Mrs. Gilmore. And as long as she wants me...I'll be right here."

Emily took a deep breath, "Well that's quite a synopsis."

He blushed again, "Too much?"

She smiled, "Just enough." She turned to Lorelai, "I expect to see you next week at Friday Night Dinner."

Lorelai nodded, "As long as you respect this choice, then I'll be here."

Emily nodded, "Well alright then." She turned to Luke again, "I hope you'll make an appearance now and again."

Luke nodded, "Okay."

She pulled at her shirt, "I am having guests over soon. But thank you for coming over. I'm glad we got that settled."

Lorelai opened her mouth, "Mom-"

Emily shook her head, "You made yourself clear. I heard you. And…" She took a deep breath, "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time."

Lorelai smiled at her, "I am happy Mom."

Emily nodded once, "Okay."

"O-Okay." Lorelai said waiting with baited breath for something else to happen.

"I'll see you next week then." She said with a smile as she held her hand out to show them out.

Lorelai took Luke's hand and started to walk towards the door with him right by her side. Emily escorted them, said pleasant goodbyes. And before they knew it, they were standing outside again.

It was silent for a minute, until Lorelai turned to Luke, "Well…that went better than I expected it too."

Luke smiled at her, "You're not kidding. I assumed I'd be dragging you out of there kicking and screaming."

She laughed, "That crossed my mind at one point too."

Luke smiled at her, "You uh...surprised me in there."

She blushed, "I meant everything I said Luke. Did that freak you out?"

Luke shook his head, "Nope."

"Not even the quick mention of potential marriage?" She asked fidgeting slightly.

Luke smiled, "Lorelai...I wouldn't have started this if I didn't see the potential of a future. Our friendship meant too much to be to go in on this on a whim. This means something to me."

Leaning up to kiss him gently she smiled, "It means something to me too."

"Considering you just threw the gauntlet down at your parents house...I figured that." He teased.

She laughed and kissed him again, "Do you really have to go back to the Diner?"

He smirked, "You got a better offer?"

She smiled, "There's a nice hotel a few miles from here. I happen to know the manager...I could get us a nice room."

He smiled, "We don't have any bags."

She smirked, "Well we won't need any clothes while we're there. So that's fine."

He chuckled, "Oh really?"

She nodded and began to pull him towards the Jeep, "It occurred to me this morning that for the first time in my life I professed my love to a man. And he apparently feels the same way…"

Luke nodded as he walked with her, "This is true…"

She smiled, "I think this is something to celebrate…"

Luke pulled her up against him, "I agree."

Touching his cheek, she smiled, "You're the man I want Luke. Don't ever doubt that."

He pressed his lips to hers, "I won't. Not again."

Leaning her forehead against his, "Are we playing hooky?"

Luke smiled and took the keys from her, "Like I could say no to that kind of offer."

She giggled and ran around to the passenger side of the car. Luke got behind the wheel and started the engine. As Lorelai strapped on her seatbelt, she glanced out the window and noticed that Emily was staring at her from the window. Emily gave her a smile; a sincere smile and she relaxed gently hoping that this was it. That she wouldn't have to fight her parents about this again.

But if it wasn't...she knew what her choice was going to be.

Luke was her guy. The one. The one she had been waiting for. And she had never been more sure of anything in her life…

Turning to look at him she smiled when he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. This was right. There was no doubt in that. She was finally right where she belonged. For the first time in her life she knew she was worthy of love and she wasn't about to let him go. Not now…not ever.

* * *

 **Maybe if this had happened on the show...events that happened quite soon after this would have turned out differently. Probably not lol. But just an idea that I came up with. Anyway - hope you liked it! I will try and update again soon!**


	31. What About Us?

**I haven't given up on "Love Me Now" but I want to make sure I get that chapter right, taking my time. So while you're waiting, here's an update to "Luke & Lorelai: The Playlist" based on the new song What about us? By P!nk.**

 **An idea that popped into my head when I heard it for the first time. A way to fix "A Vineyard Valentine" in season 6. If only Luke would have figured it all out then. AHHH.**

 **Anyway - enjoy, be back soon with other updates! Thanks guys!**

* * *

LUKE AND LORELAI'S BED ROOM

[Lorelai is sitting up in bed, looking at the necklace]

LUKE: [OS] I really cannot believe I've never had lobster before. It's my favorite thing out of the sea now. Kicks tuna's ass, kicks salmon's ass.

LORELAI: Yeah, it's good stuff.

LUKE: [OS] Logan did a good job with it, too. We've got to find a good lobster place near stars hollow. [Comes out off the bathroom] Probably have to go to Litchfield. I'm not even going to attempt the lobster-house pancake world. Do you know a good lobster place? [Sees Lorelai with the necklace] What's wrong? I thought you liked it.

LORELAI: Oh, no, I do. It's beautiful.

LUKE: So what is it?

LORELAI: I don't know…. Lately, I've been feeling like it's just not going to happen.

LUKE: That what's not going to happen?

LORELAI: Our wedding.

LUKE: No, Lorelai, that's crazy. Of course it's going to happen.

LORELAI: But do you really want it to?

LUKE: Yes. We're engaged. That hasn't changed. The wedding's just been postponed. That's all.

LORELAI: It's not feeling like it's postponed.

LUKE: What happened? I thought this would make you happy. It's making you sad.

LORELAI: No, it's not, it's just... I had to cancel a lot of stuff this week, a lot of June 3rd stuff.

LUKE: June 3rd? But I…

LORELAI: Well, I was holding out hope that maybe, if things calmed down with you a little bit, it would still happen. It was just stupid.

LUKE: No.

LORELAI: I lost all our deposits.

LUKE: That doesn't matter. We'll just put down new deposits.

LORELAI: Really?

LUKE: We're getting married.

LORELAI: I really want to believe that.

LUKE: Look, I know I've been preoccupied. I don't like that about myself. It's just who I am. I get in my own head, and I forget about the people around me.

LORELAI: I know, that's why I thought this trip would be good for you, get you thinking about something else, but it's been cold here and Logan's been bugging you and the raccoon is noisy and the waves were keeping you up. The trip was a dumb idea.

LUKE: Lorelai, no. It was a good idea. [short pause] Hey...

LORELAI: What?

LUKE: You know I love you, right?

LORELAI: I really need to hear that once in a while.

LUKE: I love you, and I'm going to marry you, and at our wedding, we are having lobster.

LORELAI: Okay. [They kiss. Lorelai looks at the necklace] I really love this necklace.

He reached for her hand and rubbed her knuckles gently, "What can I do?"

She sighed softly, "Hm?"

He scooted closer to her, "What can I do to make you feel better?"

She smiled gently at him, "I just...I needed to hear that you still want this Luke."

He leaned in again and kissed her, "I do want this. Very much so. Okay?"

She nodded slowly, "Okay." She looked down at his hands, "Actually...there's one more thing you can do…" She blushed softly.

He smiled, "Anything."

She took a deep breath and whispered, "Can you just hold me?"

Luke's heart ached at her words and he hated knowing that he had hurt her so much. He hadn't meant too. He really was just so preoccupied with everything else going on, he put their relationship on the backburner. He knew it was wrong. But he thought she understood how much he loved her. He thought she knew that after everything was settled that they would get married and figure it out.

But Lorelai wasn't a woman to bare her soul this way. She wasn't the type of woman to let him see her cry. That's how he knew she was really hurting. Without saying another word, he scooted closer to her and lay down beside her. "Come here."

Lorelai lay down in the bed and pushed her back against his chest. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his arms wrap around her and she felt herself instantly relax. She had missed him more than he could ever understand and right now she just wanted to stay like this forever.

* * *

 ** _We are searchlights, we can see in the dark_**

 ** _We are rockets, pointed up at the stars_**

 ** _We are billions of beautiful hearts_**

 ** _And you sold us down the river too far_**

 ** _What about us?_**

 ** _What about all the times you said you had the answers?_**

 ** _What about us?_**

 ** _What about all the broken happy ever afters_**

 ** _What about us?_**

 ** _What about all the plans that ended in disaster?_**

 ** _What about love? What about trust?_**

 ** _What about us?_**

* * *

LUKE AND LORELAI'S BED ROOM – NEXT MORNING

[Luke and Lorelai are just waking up]

LUKE: [Kisses Lorelai's shoulder] Morning. [Rubs her arm]

LORELAI: Good morning. How'd you sleep?

LUKE: I slept great, better than I have in months. How about you?

LORELAI: Wonderfully, actually. It's so quiet out there.

LUKE: Just the waves.

LORELAI: They didn't keep you up?

LUKE: No, I slept like a rock.

LORELAI: I wonder if Rory and Logan hit the gym again. I'm going to go check. [Starts putting on a robe]

LUKE: I wouldn't put it past them.

LORELAI: Or maybe they went hang gliding, went to climb a mountain, pearl diving, or skeet shooting. [Opens the door, Gasps] Wow!

LUKE: What?

LORELAI: Breakfast Santa's been here.

LUKE: Breakfast Santa? [Lorelai carries in the tray] Wow.

LORELAI: The kids must have left it for us.

LUKE: Well, I don't think there's really a breakfast Santa.

LORELAI: So, how do we do this?

LUKE: Legs.

LORELAI: Service here is so excellent.

[Cut to a short while later Luke and Lorelai are sitting on the bed having finished breakfast]

LUKE: That must have been Harvey's beach. Last time I was at the beach, I was like 18.

LORELAI: I was there, when I was a kid, I used to go with my friend Trish and her family. It had that snack stand where the cute boy worked. Remember? He looked like Emilio Estevez.

LUKE: Well, I remember the snack stand, not Emilio.

LORELAI: We used to do cartwheels to get his attention.

LUKE: I remember my sister picking up someone's cigarette butt behind that stand and smoking it.

LORELAI: Ew!..

LUKE: We could have been there at the same time on the same day. Isn't that weird?

LORELAI: Nah, we never were.

LUKE: How do you know?

LORELAI: You would have distracted me from the snack-stand guy. And no guy ever did.

LUKE: What about eloping?

LORELAI: What?

LUKE: Eloping, we can do that, right? Instead of planning this whole big thing?

LORELAI: I don't know. Maybe. I guess we could. But Rory has to come. Is it still eloping if Rory comes?

LUKE: Sure, why not? Let's start planning it.

LORELAI: You don't plan an elopement. You just do it.

LUKE: Oh, right. That makes sense. We could even come back do it here when the weather's better. We could rent a place for a couple weeks in the summer.

LORELAI: That sounds nice.

* * *

 ** _We are problems that want to be solved_**

 ** _We are children that need to be loved  
We were willing, we came when you called  
But man you fooled us, enough is enough_**

 **What about us?**  
 **What about all the times you said you had the answers?**  
 **What about us?**  
 **What about all the broken happy ever afters?**  
 **What about us?**  
 **What about all the plans that ended in disaster?**  
 **What about love? What about trust?**  
 **What about us?  
**

* * *

LUKE'S DINER - NIGHT

[Luke and Lorelai come in the front door]

LUKE: Hey, Caesar.

CAESER: Luke, you're back early. How was it?

LUKE: Great.

LORELAI: Ended dramatically, but, yeah.

CAESER: Well, welcome back. There was something I was supposed to tell you.

LUKE: Was it important?

CAESER: Must not have been.

LUKE: Well, I'll take care of out here. Why don't you close out the back?

CAESER: Sure. Coffee's fresh. Maybe that was it.

LUKE: Was that it?

CAESER: No. [Returns to kitchen]

LORELAI: Well, I'd love some coffee.

LUKE: Coming up. Okay. What am I going to do with all that stuff?

LORELAI: Keep it. It looked good on you, especially the sweatpants. You got nice mass ass.

LUKE: A what?

LORELAI: Massachusetts ass.

LUKE: Well, maybe I'll keep those then.

CAESER: I remember. Your daughter. I'm an idiot.

LUKE: What?

CAESER: That's what I had to tell you, April kept calling to confirm the time she's coming over tomorrow. [Lorelai looks sad]

LUKE: Oh she did.

CAESER: Three o'clock, she kept calling to remind me like I wouldn't remember to tell you, which I almost didn't. She's pretty smart.

LUKE: Yeah, thanks, Caesar. [pause, lost for words] Uh... so, three o'clock tomorrow. I guess her mother will pick her up around seven, so...

LORELAI: Right. So, I'll pop up sometime after that.

LUKE: Okay.

LORELAI: Oh, and her bike, it's at my place.

LUKE: Right, right, I guess I'll...pick it up tomorrow before three.

LORELAI: Sure, anytime. You know, um, I'm just kind of tired. I don't need to wire myself up again. I think I'm just going to go home.

LUKE: Oh, okay. I'll just tell Caesar I'm taking you.

LORELAI: No, that's okay. That's okay. I think I'm going to walk.

LUKE: You sure?

LORELAI: Yeah, yeah, stay here. I'll get my bags tomorrow or you can bring them when you come get April's bike.

LUKE: Sure, whatever you want. It's cold out there, you know?

LORELAI: I know. Cold can be nice sometimes.

LUKE: All right.

LORELAI: See you tomorrow. [They kiss]

LUKE: Okay.

* * *

 _ **What about us?**  
 **What about all the plans that ended in disaster?**  
 **What about love? What about trust?**  
 **What about us?  
**_

* * *

Luke went upstairs later on to unpack his bags from the weekend. Something was nagging at him but he couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. What was this feeling that he couldn't shake? The weekend had gone not exactly according to plan. If he was honest he wasn't sure what he had expected from it...but Lorelai opening up to him like that wasn't ever on his mind.

It killed him to hear what she had said. But in some ways he was glad to have heard it. It had shaken him awake from this little other world he had been building without her. He wanted to get to know April. That was true. But what was it that made him feel the need to create two separate lives?

He sighed and tossed his keys on the table.

He looked around the apartment and the emptiness suddenly struck him.

He was alone. He was alone and she was back at her house. Her house which was supposed to be there house. He cringed and thought about how happy they seemed walking into the Diner after their trip. Then as soon as April's name was mentioned he had put that wall back up.

He felt his heart squeeze in his chest and suddenly he knew that without even realizing it, he had pushed her away again. "Shit. Shit. Shit." He mumbled picking up the keys again.

Then he paused. He couldn't just show up there. The idea of her sitting at home alone after all he had promised her just yesterday made him feel like a fool. He had to do more than just apologize, more than just show up.

There had to be more actions.

He glanced around the apartment again and realized all of his stuff was still here. He really was living a completely separate life from her. The woman he was supposed to be spending forever with. And then it all clicked.

Instead of unpacking, he started repacking on a bigger scale.

* * *

 ** _Sticks and stones they may break these bones_**

 ** _But then I'll be ready, are you ready?  
It's the start of us, waking up, come on  
Are you ready? I'll be ready  
I don't want control, I want to let go  
Are you ready? I'll be ready  
Cause now it's time to let them know  
We are ready  
_**

* * *

Lorelai sat in the tub, holding a wine glass in one hand as she gripped the tub with her other hand. She was willing the tears not to come. But they were there. Right on the brink of falling.

She felt so stupid. So stupid. She had believed everything he had said last night. He seemed so sincere. She was practically already planning the new wedding in her head as they fell asleep last night.

She was ready. She was so ready to be Mrs. Lorelai Gilmore Danes. But for whatever reason, it didn't seem like he was. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

She groaned and pushed the lever on the tub to let it drain. Not even a bubble bath was going to make her feel better tonight.

Setting the wine to the side she pushed herself up and began to wrap a towel around herself. She sniffled slightly. Stepping over the ledge, she sighed thinking about the messages on the machine reminding her that not only was she not getting married on June 3rd, but she'd have to tell the rest of the world at some point. And how embarrassing that would be.

Lorelai Gilmore. The perpetual screw up.

Always letting her family down. She sat down on the edge of the bed and stared around the room they had designed together. The room she assumed would be theirs forever. She lay back on the bed and didn't even care that she was still dripping wet. It didn't matter. Nothing seemed to matter anymore because it felt like her heart was going to finally shatter.

She felt the sob about to escape her lips at the same time that the front door opened. She gasped and sat up, holding the towel to her chest. Instant panic erupted in her body. Had she locked the door before coming upstairs? Probably not. She never did.

Her hands started shaking and she gripped the edge of the bed as she heard boots stomping on the stairs leading up to her room. She was frozen in her spot realizing there was nothing she could do to protect herself.

For the millionth time that night, she thought, if only Luke was here.

He could fix it.

She whimpered as the door to the bedroom opened and suddenly her heart dropped to her stomach.

It was Luke.

Her Luke.

Standing there in the doorway with two heavy suitcases in his hands.

"Luke." She mumbled, her hands shaking gently as she gripped the towel covering her body.

He smiled softly at her, both nervous to see what happened next and also scared of the look of fear on her face, "Hey…"

She licked her lips and slowly pushed herself off the bed, "Hi…"

He walked further into the room and set the bags down on the ground. He looked up and saw that she was dripping water on the floor. It didn't matter. She looked so damn fragile and he hated it. He hated that he had done this to her. This was his fault. He hurt the woman he swore to always love and protect.

How many years had he pined for her? How many years had he cursed every asshole that had dared to hurt her? And suddenly here he was and he wasn't any better than them.

She wiggled her toes, "What are you doing here?"

He sighed, realizing that he had spent so little time here lately that this truly was strange for her, "I uh...I realized after you left that I'm a big asshole."

She swallowed hard, the old Lorelai would have something quirky and dirty to say back but she couldn't think of something, "Oh...I uh-"

He shook his head, "Just...don't say anything for a second. Okay?"

She swallowed hard and looked down, "Can I...can I change first?"

He took a deep breath, "Oh. Yeah...sure. Sure that's...that's fine."

She blushed gently and stepped past him to grab clothes from her dresser. She slipped into the bathroom which made him cringe. She never would have done that a few months ago. She'd tease him and flash him laughing as she did. But that was then...and this is now.

He hoped that this moment, this action he was taking would fix things. It just had too.

* * *

 _ **What about...**_

 _ **What about us?**_

 _ **What about all the times you said you had the answers?**_

 _ **So what about us?**_

 _ **What about all the broken happy ever afters?**_

 _ **What about us?**_

 _ **What about all the plans that ended in disaster?**_

 _ **What about love? What about trust?**_

 _ **What about us?  
**_

* * *

Five minutes later on shaky legs, Lorelai emerged from the bathroom and walked back into the room. She saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, his bags still sat on the floor where he left them.

He looked up and smiled nervously at her, "Hey…"

She looked down and frowned at her sweatpants and messy, wet hair, "I wasn't expecting you to be here. I'm sorry I look-"

"You look beautiful." He whispered in a raw voice, and somehow she knew he meant it.

"Luke…" Her voice cracked as she spoke.

He shook his head and held his hand out to her, "Come here."

She took a deep breath and walked over to him, sitting down nervously, "Luke..."

He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, "I did it again…"

She sighed and didn't even bother to hide the tears this time, "I just want to be a part of your life Luke. But if you don't want this anymore I need you to tell me now. Because it hurts...it hurts so much."

He sighed and shook his head, he moved his hand to her face and brushed her tears away with his thumb, "Shh...I do want this. I do. I didn't even realize what I was doing when we got back. It just happened...and it was wrong. I'm sorry. But I want this. I want you and me to be married. I want to start our life together."

She swallowed hard, "You do?"

Luke nodded, "I do."

She blushed gently, "You know your lines…"

He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her, "Maybe we should look more into that elopment thing."

She sighed and pressed her forehead against his, "I don't care where or when Luke. I just want to marry you."

He nodded, "I know. It will happen."

She pulled back and looked over at the bags in the corner, "What are those?"

He smiled, "I thought it was time I finally move in."

Her heart skipped in her chest, "What?"

He shrugged and stood up, lifting up one of the bags he put it on the bed, "I packed up all my clothes. Clearly I don't have as much as you."

She giggled, "This is all your clothes?"

Luke nodded, "Still have room in the extra closet or did you take it over?"

She shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes again, "No. It's been waiting for you."

He swallowed hard and suddenly felt the weight of his actions. Realizing what he could have lost. He stepped away from the bags and pulled her up off the bed, crashing her against his chest. "I never meant to hurt you. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Lorelai."

She clung to him, "Luke…"

He pulled back just enough to see her face, pressing kisses everywhere he could, "I'm so sorry."

She tried to catch her breath, "Babe…"

He brushed away her tears and searched her face, "This is it. I'm moving my stuff in...we'll go talk to Anna tomorrow. Okay? You and me?"

She started to cry harder, "Luke…"

"Look at me." He pleaded with her, "Please."

She took a deep breath and lifted her chin to look at him, "You promise?"

Leaning forward to press his lips to hers he nodded, "You and me. I promise. I promise Lorelai. No more of this. I'm here now and I'm not leaving again."

She whimpered and threw her arms around him, "I thought I was losing you."

He sighed and squeezed her tighter, "I know. I just...I got scared. It wasn't you. I just felt like I had to fix it all before we jumped ya know?"

She pulled back, "Do you not want me around her?"

He shook his head, "No. It's not that at all. I just...I wanted to know that I could be a good father. I wanted to just...understand how it could have even happened. How could I not know I had a daughter for 12 years?"

She frowned, "Anna kept her from you Luke. None of this is your fault. You keeping it from me...that's different."

He sighed and sat back on the edge of the bed, "I was afraid you'd think differently of me. I was afraid that...that you wouldn't want me anymore."

She stared at him in awe, feeling the depth of his own pain and uncertainty. She stepped forward and knelt in front of him, she tilted his head up to look at her, "Luke." He shifted his eyes from hers, "Look at me." She saw him swallow hard, "Look at me." She repeated.

Luke took a deep breath and lifted his face to hers, "Lorelai…"

"I love you." She whispered softly, holding his face in hers, "Nothing could change that unless you said you didn't want me. That's what I felt...I thought you didn't want me."

He shook his head, "I've always wanted you. I just...I needed to know I could be a good father. To prove that to you."

She frowned, "Hon I already know you're a great Father."

He shifted slightly, "What are you talking about?"

She smiled and moved her hands to his knees, "You may not be Rory's Father by blood...but you've been there for her more than Christopher ever has or will be. You filled that roll long ago Luke without having me ask you too. There has never been a doubt in my mind that you would be a good Father."

He let out a little breath, "Really?"

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him, "It breaks my heart to know that April missed out on how incredible you are. But I know that you can make up for it now. She's lucky to have you just like Rory and I are."

He smiled softly, "You think I'll be a good Dad?"

She kissed him again, "No. I think you ARE a good Dad."

His heart jumped in his chest, "So about those plants we talked about…"

She smirked at him, "As soon as you make an honest woman out of me...we can make that happen."

Luke looked at her, "Think we can still make June 3rd happen?"

She sat back on her legs, "What?"

He shrugged, "June 3rd. Do you think we can still make it happen?"

She stood up slowly and ran a hand through her wet hair, "Well...I don't know. I cancelled mostly everything."

Luke looked up at her, "Do we need the big fancy thing? I mean we said...you and me wherever whenever. It doesn't matter to me."

She smiled hopefully at him, "It doesn't really matter to me either."

He smiled, "You have the dress...I still have the tux."

She took a deep breath, "Rory would be home…"

Luke nodded, "And I can make sure April is here."

Her head was spinning, "My Mom already told most of our family. Sookie's got the cake already drawn in her head."

"Plus the cake topper with my matching butt." He said with a smirk.

She giggled, "Right. That's important." She felt her hands shaking, "You...you want to get married on June 3rd?"

He shrugged, "If you want to do it sooner we can too."

She shook her head, "No. No June 3rd seems like a perfect day to get married."

Luke smiled and walked over to her, he pressed a hand to her cheek, "Any day seems like a perfect day to marry you Lorelai."

She grabbed for his hands, "You wanna marry me?"

Luke took a deep breath and cupped her face with both hands, "Yes. I do."

She closed her eyes and sighed, "There you go again saying your lines…"

He smiled, "See...I'm serious about this. We can go right now if-"

She shook her head, "No. I want our girls to be there."

He took a deep breath and pulled her closer, "Our girls…"

Her eyes opened up, "I didn't-"

He shook his head and kissed her, "Don't. I like the sound of that. I know that you two are going to be great together. I'm ready Lorelai...I'm really ready."

She beamed up at him, "Luke?"

He smiled and nodded, tracing her cheek with his finger, "Yeah?"

"Take me to bed." She whispered, "I've missed you."

Luke smiled at her and lifted her up slowly without saying another word. He laid her out on the bed and smiled down at her, "Help me unpack tomorrow?"

She nodded, "You bet." She pulled him closer, "Welcome home Luke."

He stared at her in that moment, realizing how close he was to losing her forever. Losing the future he had dreamed about for years. Hurting her beyond repair, the one thing that would cut him to the core.

She was his everything.

It was time to stop hiding, stop being afraid. She was his and he was hers. It was time to merge his two worlds and share it all with her.

It was time for them to stop being individuals and stop being one team.

"I will never make you feel unwanted again Lorelai. That I can promise you." He said stroking her cheek gently. "The only thing I want in this world is a life with you...to make you happy. Always. I love you."

Her smile grew on her face and she felt her heart flip flop in her chest, "Show me."

He leaned down and captured her lips with his, knowing that this was where he belonged. And he would make sure she knew that she was loved from now until his last day on earth. No more uncertainty. No more lies. No more secrets. Just love.

Always.

* * *

 _ **What about us?**_

 _ **What about us?**_

 _ **What about us?  
**_

* * *

 **If only this could have happened on the show...it was the perfect time for it to get better. AHHH LUKE! Why'd you have to be so stupid again?**

 **Anyway - as I said, I will update everything else as soon as I can! Thanks all!**


	32. Dress

A new chapter has been added to Luke and Lorelai: A Playlist (The M Chapters). Based on the song "Dress" by Taylor Swift. Takes place during season 5 in the episode "Pulp Fiction" when Lorelai and Luke get back together. She buys a pretty, sparkly pink dress to make Luke want to come and get it.


End file.
